Chaos Within

Chapter 7

Pov- Rylan

I checked her pulse and relaxed when I felt them pounding against my fingertips.

I cleaned her up with a damped cloth and got her dressed in one of my oversized t-shirts.

“Camelia?” I whisper and touch her cheek.

“Camelia… everything is alright. You’re safe with me, I won’t let anything or anyone harm you.” I soothe her. I’m positive she can’t hear me but soothing her calms me down.

Her eyes were wild and panicked while she screamed and I got a feeling that a part of her memory resurfaced. Was it the blade? Or was it the s*x?

Or worse, was it the both of them that triggered her?

“I’m sorry…” I didn’t even know for what I was apologizing.

She whimpers and stirs.

“Camelia?” my voice is thick with concern which was a rare thing.

I bury my head in my hands. What the f**k was I thinking? At least I should have asked her for permission before letting my sadistic lust take over.

It’s weird to feel remorse. As a person who used people for my own satisfaction, I never regretted about anything I’ve done in my life, not even when I killed my parents. The way their eyes drained out of life, it was nothing but exciting. But this, watching Camelia slowly lose it, it’s so f*****g painful that I want to f*****g slap her until she opens those beautiful green eyes of hers and tells me that she is okay.

“Rylan..?” her voice was barely a whisper.

My head shoots up so fast that I’m scared for a moment that I broke it in the process.

“Hey princess…how are you feeling? Does anything hurt? Do you want anything? What-“

“Rylan can I have some water?” she cuts off my questioning.

“Of course!” I poured her a glass of water from the jug which was placed on the bedside table.

“Here you go.” She takes the glass, I notice that her hands are still trembling. I don’t want to push her but I do want to know what happened.

“Do you want to talk about it, sweetheart?” I asked while climbing onto the bed and settling beside her. She shook her head. Whelp, I can’t push her in case she has another blackout with a panic attack. I’m literally going to get a heart attack myself if she does that again.

She placed the glass and snuggled against my chest. The smell of her shampoo is intoxicating. Focus Rylan! You’re not going to f**k her when she’s f*****g shattered into pieces!

“I guess it was a past memory.” Her voice was so small that it almost felt like I made it up in my head.

I run my fingers through her silky ebony hair.

“The scar on my neck…” she started shaking again.

“Hey…hey calm down. I’m right here.” I tighten my hold on her as if I was afraid she would slip away from my arms and disappear forever.

“I saw how I got it.” She inhales sharply.

“It’s okay.” I tried my best to calm her down, but I knew I was terrible at it since I was only used to terrifying people, not calming them.

So apparently the blade triggered her. I feel like a dickhead for not asking permission before I gave in.

I should have at least assumed that she had a rough past with all of those scars littering her body. What the actual f**k was I thinking?

“I’m sorry…Camelia, I didn’t-“

“It’s okay Rylan.” She shushed my shitty apology and my heart ached so f*****g much that I wanted to go back in time and change her life, but if I did that then I’ll lose the woman that I love the most.

She looked at my face, tearing swelling in her eyes, “I’m sorry.”

Why was she sorry for? Was she feeling bad for blacking out? If so, she better not be because I don’t want her to feel bad for anything that happened, it wasn’t her fault even in the slightest.

“It felt so real…” she was fiddling with my silver chain. I didn’t know how to comfort her. I spent most of my life in solitude, killing people in cold blood, how the f**k do I know how to make someone feel better?

All I want to do is pick up all the pieces of her shattered soul and mould her back, comfort her and make her happy.

These emotions might be my demise but I wouldn’t mind dying knowing that I’m capable of love. I’m the devil himself, breaking to kill and bring chaos to my awake ever since my parents abounded me due to their drug addiction, I wanted nothing but revenge. To see everyone suffer, to make everyone feel the pain of living. I was filled with so much anger and hatred before Camelia came into my life a few months ago.

I saw myself in her. Her scars reminded me of the life I had before I learnt to be a stone-hearted person and claimed my place as the devil. Chaos and agony were my fuel, they sang to me, making me want more. It was an addiction, I couldn’t get away from it and honestly, I didn’t want to get away, I loved how the darkness followed me everywhere I went.

Even though Camelia is shattered, it’s just a matter of time till I mould her back into my Queen of darkness. I know she has darkness within her, an ugly untamable beast waiting to break free. I’m going to love every twisted part of her as much as she loves mine. This is no fantasy or a movie cliché where the innocent girl falls for the bad would but a tragedy where two souls of chaos and darkness reunite and claim what they lost.

I might have crashed into Camelia’s car and kidnapped her for a quick kill but now she’s the thread that holds my sanity. I kissed her forehead and she looked up at me with those cute round eyes. f**k, how can she look so f*****g cute and hot at the same f*****g time?

She reaches for my lips and runs her tongue along my bottom lip. A groan escapes my lips as I let her explore my mouth. I wonder if she was a playgirl before I kidnapped her because her kisses were f*****g addictive and perfect.

We cuddled and stayed like that for some time till sleep finally found its way to us.