A SCAR

Lesson in Silence

CHAPTER 3

My mum tried to protect me from the worst of it. The a***e. My mum taught me how to lie convincingly. How to laugh at jokes I did not hear, how to tolerate insults, how to smile even when you don't mean it. Lying became our shared language.

But the thing was I never wanted to be a part of it, it just happens to be part of me.

It was Monday again. I woke up, dressed and prepared for school.

I walked to school alone everyday. What was more heartbreaking was seeing my friends coming to school with their parents happily.

But one thing I knew was that I would never have that life. Maybe in the next life but not now.

“ Hi Hazel” Chelsea beamed

“ Hello” I replied nonchalantly

“The Teacher-Parent meeting is tomorrow. My both parents are coming. Who's coming for you”

“My mum is coming”

She frowned slightly. “I thought your mum came last year what about your dad”

I raised my brows “How is that supposed to be your business”

“It's not. Fortunately for me I have my both parents by my side every time unlike some of us”

I looked at her eyes and smiled. “At least I'm real. I don't fake what I don't have”

She scoffed and left. I tried holding my tears but my body failed me. I ran to the girls toilet and cried.

I cried, I let everything out. And for the very first time it felt good.

It was night and I heard her voices again, her constant plea, silent sobbing and her cracked voice.

I thought If I stayed quiet the violence would stop, if I prayed harder the a***e would be over or if I behaved better the pain would disappear. But I guessed I was wrong.

It was another night of pain. Another night where my mother would be beaten or in his words “Disciplined”

I heard a slap that echoed too loudly. I bit my fingers and buried my face on the pillow.

Anger continued to grow inside me. I was angry at the man who hurt my mother all in the name of discipline.

I took courage and went downstairs. Her face was disfigured. Hair was messy and her limbs were weak.

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

“You're evil” I whispered

He turned to me and approached me

“What did you say”

“I said you're evil, look at what you did to my mother. You're heartless” I found my voice

“Any word from you again, I'll send you to your grave”

“Then do it. I hate you. I wished you were never my father. You're just weak, real men fight their fellow men but you're using my mother as a punching bag. You're a psychopath. You're a coward” I spat

Before he could hit me, my mum stood in front of me, protecting me

“Please she's just a child, she doesn't know what she's saying please don't do anything to her” she knelt in front of him

“Keep her mouth shut, unless you won't like to see the outcome”. He sighed and left.

“Hazel what are you doing, aren't you supposed to be in your room”

“Mum I came to protect you from this beast” I cried

“Hazel he's your father and my husband” she rubbed her temples

“No he's not. Mum, why don't we leave ??” I asked quietly

She froze. She took a long time to answer.

“Because I want to save my marriage. I know he'll change”

“Save your marriage??, He'll change??, Mum can you hear yourself”

“Hazel it's really dark you've school tomorrow so let's go to…..”

“No mum, I'm not going anywhere. See the damage he's doing to you and you say he'll change” I scoffed

She wanted to say something but I stopped her

“Mum I know I'm a child but this is not a marriage. You can't allow that coward to a***e you like this”

“Hazel mind your language” she warned

“No he's a coward and forever will be a coward” I yelled before I could continue she slapped me

I ran back to my room and cried.

“Hazel I'm sorry for hitting you last night” my mum said while making my breakfast

“Hazel”

“Please forgive me I'm sorry”

“I'm not angry because you slapped me mother, I'm angry at the fact you're defending someone that's hurting you every time”

“Hazel you won't understand you're still a child”

“I don't want to understand. You always say I'm still a child and because I'm still a child that's why I can't do anything, that's why I'm powerless I can't save you from him” I buried my face on my palm and cried

“No my dear don't think that way okay. Everything will be fine I promise” she smiled

“Are you sure ??”

“Yes”

“And are we going to leave??”

She smiled

“Let's see”