Between Hate and Love

Chapter 26

“River?” I asked, wondering if repeating his name would make me sink into my mind that it was really him.

“Angel, you’re here!” he exclaimed.

I stood up and he helped me and there I realized how tall he was than me. Pinamukha na naman niya sa’kin na mas matangkad siya.

“Well… Uhm… Yes, I’m here,” I confirmed to him.

Well… It was awkward.

What could be more awkward than meeting your first ever boyfriend, in the most unexpected situation?

“Why are you here?” I asked him. He stared at me for a bit and then chuckled. He pat my head and I swear, he was thinking how small I was.

“Just having a quick vacation, how about you?”

I once again sat on the sand and just let my feet get wet again. He did the same thing and sat just a meter away from me.

“Work stuff,” I admitted.

How long had it been since the last time I met him?

Silence took over us as we stare at the sea and just listen at the waves. He was one of the few people I thought I would never see again. Not that I didn’t want to see him again, we just ended up in a not so good terms.

River nodded at me. I could feel how many times he glanced at me, wanting to say something, and ended up with nothing.

It was more than five years since the last time I saw him. We were just second year college back then, and after our breakup, we didn’t really communicate afterwards. He had his own life and I had mine.

“How are you?” he asked, casually. Maybe, he was trying to keep it casual. I wondered if he had some grudges over me or he had some things he didn’t say because he didn’t have the chance back then.

“I’m surprised to see you. I didn’t really expect that,” pag-amin ko.

River was in a different school back in college and we got together with the help of some common friends back in high school. We were in a two years relationship when I called it off, then, we each had our own lives after us.

“You unfriended me sa lahat ng social media,” paghihimutok niya. “I thought we can still be friends, then you disappeared and I never saw you again.”

Of course, I did that on purpose.

“You’re an asshole, you know that,” pag-papaalala ko sa kanya.

“And you moved on easily,” sumbat niya sa akin.

I gave him a mocking smirk and shook my head. “You didn’t treat me well,” tugon ko.

River shrugged.

We did not speak for a few seconds, then he had the courage to apologize. “I’m sorry. I know it’s probably late for seven or eight years,” he sighed deeply. He looked above the clouds before he flashed me his signature smile.

“I’m fine… I hope you are too,” I told him.

I didn’t know if I needed that closure or not. We were still young back then and our definition of love was ever-changing and we weren’t certain of some things.

“I was an asshole, I know that. I didn’t even own up to my mistakes back then, but we both have problems.”

“Yes,” I nodded. “I’m glad we didn’t end up with each other.”

We both laughed at that.

River wasn’t the greatest boyfriend, and I was certainly not the greatest girlfriend for him back then. We were both just broken human beings who found solace with each other, and then we broke each other even more, because we were young and that was what we thought love was.

“You’re still with… Uhm… With Khal?” River asked.

I found it hard to answer the question. It was like my pride was on the line. I did everything to fight for Khal back then, afterwards, I ruined the things I worked hard for.

My silence was an answer for River. Hindi na rin siya nagsalita.

Slowly, he took my hands and gently caressed it. I looked at him, wondering why he did that.

“I’m glad we ran each other again… Just… Just so you know, the things I told you back then… That if we’re both single if we reach our thirties, let’s get married? It’s still standing.”

I was immediately weirded out by his words.

Tumayo ako at pinagpag ang buhangin sa suot ko. “Sorry, I have to leave,” paliwanag ko.

River followed me. “Hey, did I offend you? What did I do?” tanong niya. “Come on, Angel. Ngayon na nga lang kita nakita ulit,” pangungulit niya.

“It’s nice to meet you to, but I have to get back inside,” paliwanag ko.

River caught my hands and he stopped me from my tracks. Malapit na ako sa main entrance ng hotel nang makuha niya ang kamay ko.

I looked at him and asked why he was stopping me. “I… I just want to be with you for a few more seconds, talked about what happened back then, and maybe make some sense of it all.”

Kinuha ko ang kamay ko sa kanya. Gladly, he let me go. “Sa tingin ko, wala na tayong dapat i-make sense. Our relationship had ended, and that was it. Move on, because it’s more than seven years ago, River.”

River sighed frustratedly.

“Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto mo. I’m glad we met and I’m glad that you’re still alive, pero huwag mo na ulit ako’ng kakausapin,” pakiusap ko sa kanya. Ilang minuto pa lang kami na nagkita, pero dumating na naman kami sa pagtatalo. It was the reason why I cut him off on social media and why I decided to never wanting to see him again.

River took my hands once again, but this time, there was another hand that held me.

Khal.

Khal had changed to his sweater and sweatpants. He looked pissed and the way that he was looking at River right now, he looked like he was ready to kill him.

“Let her go, River,” maikling sambit ni Khal.

River finally let me go and smirked at Khal. “So you two are still together, huh?”

Judging from what River had stated, it seemed like wala nga siyang alam sa’kin at sa amin after we broke up. And I was glad about that.

“Nice bro, you’re hard work paid off. Nakuha mo nga siya sa’kin at nagtagal kayo,” River stated with hint of insult. Ibinulsa niya ang kamay niya at saka tumalikod sa amin.

Khal was still holding my hand. Sinundan niya ng tingin si River hanggang sa mawala ito sa paningin naming dalawa. Then, he let go of my hands.

“Why are you with him, huh?”