Chapter 8
870 Words
Chapter 8
RAVEN
What!
Dance?
With him?
In front of these people?
I mean, yes, I’d definitely love to, that way all these girls drooling over him won’t have a chance. It's like winning a jackpot but here….hell no!
People won’t stop staring, all these aunties pretending not to stare, that’ll give them a whole lot to talk about and that’s not me.
That’s not the woman they moved aside for, they kept their distance for.
I hate that they were watching.
I hate that I care about them.
“I don’t dance”. I said.
“It’s just a dance, Birdy,” he said with a low voice.
“ I don’t dance,” I repeated, my voice firmer this time.
His mouth twitched, “Everybody dances.”
I laughed out loud, “Well, I don’t.”
I didn’t mean to laugh, it came out wrong, I mean who laughs in this kind of situation?……. Raven!
“You don’t have to act all tough.”
How did he know?
I hadn’t told him anything about me or should I say he didn’t know anything about me or was it Eli?
I’ve had a rough one with men, my softness had been mistaken for stupidity, my love and calmness had been taken for granted so I had to build something sharper, more like an armor against the walls of my world.
I stepped closer without meaning to, “You think you know me now?”
“I know enough.” He said easily.
Enough?
What the hell!!
I’ve spent years learning how to distance myself from men, I worked hard to become unreadable, to be a woman not figured out, and I burned out whatever softness I used to have.
And here he was standing calm, seeing through me without any effort. Letting him see cracks I don’t even acknowledge out loud.
I’ve told myself that I’m different now, I don’t give a f**k about guys anymore, I don’t want them to be in my space anymore but what now?……
My heart and mind are misbehaving over a man with paint all over his body and I had to make it that obvious for him to see.
Have I made it that easy?
Was it the kiss?
Was it because I asked him to fix my bike?
Or because I asked him to paint my face?
I feel so stupid! So exposed!
Too obvious that I’d forgotten myself for a second and he noticed.
I searched his face for mockery, that familiar expression that men wore when they think they’ve cracked you open but there was nothing.
He just stood there, calm and understanding.
That’s a relief!
I need to end this now
I clenched my fists, “You’re reading too much into it.”
“Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe you’re scared of things that don’t bleed.
“What do you think you are?” I laughed. “You don’t scare me.”
“I know, but this does.”
What does that even mean?
“I don’t do soft things,” I muttered.
“It’s just one song,” Birdy. His deep voice cut through.
Ohhhhhh……..that voice!
“Just dance with me this once,” he continued, softer now.
“Leave all your toughness aside, just this one, it won’t harm you”
What!
Is he a mind reader now?
The way he said it slowly and carefully, like he wasn’t trying to win did something to me.
Something I’ve never felt before.
Rave!
Stop!
Leave now!
“Birdy”
That name sounded like it was meant for me. It melted me…….arrgghhhhh!!!!!
My feet moved on their own.
Fuck!
Rave!
Don't!
He’s not different from the others!
You know this pattern too well!
He’s just pretending!
That’s how they all start, soft voices that would feel safe, words that felt gentle enough to let your guard down.
Men are good at that part, good at being exactly what you need before they show you who they really are.
I kept reminding myself of what I’ve gone through in the hands of men but my body never stopped moving like it hadn’t learned the lesson my mind had to pay dearly for.
Before I knew it, I was closer than I was meant to be, close enough to smell his cologne under all the paint and dust.
I want it.
I hate that I wanted it.
I already imagined it: his hand on my wrist, the way he’d definitely know exactly where and how to touch and hold me without crossing the line……..
He could even cross the line for all I care!
I want all of it!!!!
I watched as he drew me closer to him, his throat moved as he swallowed like he was holding something back.
My phone vibrated, and I ignored it.
Annoying!
“Raven,” he said quietly.
“Your phone has been buzzing, you might want to check it.” He said reluctantly.
Who the f**k is that?
“What?” I snapped over the phone.
JADE: Where are you?
ME: At the festival, what happened?
JADE: Come to HQ now, new op in 10 minutes.
Reality snapped back into place.
- Writer
