He's My Ruined Luck

Chapter 8: Lose Control

Marahang hinaplos ni Feliciano ang pisngi ng natutulog na si Lianne sa kaniyang tabi. Biglang kumunot kasi ang noo nito.

Last night, Feliciano lost it and he knows he scared the hell out of Lianne. Pero noong napatahan na niya ang dalaga at tinanggap na nito ang sorry niya, the woman was so stressed and ended up sleeping on his bed after minutes of comforting her.

He brought her to her bedroom. Dapat iniwan niya na si Lianne matapos maihiga ang dalaga sa kama nito kagabi. But then he found himself sitting on the side of her bed, just watching her sleep. Her beauty always mesmerize him— in a way, he couldn't control himself to admire her. Nagsimula niyang hangaan ang dalaga mula nang makita niya si Lianne sa elevator hanggang sa bridal shower na dinalo niya bilang bahagi ng Lucky 9 game. Hanggang sa hindi niya na nga namalayan kagabi at nakatulog na siya sa tabi ng dalaga.

Feliciano smiled when she moved closer to him, hugging him tighter. Nakapalibot ang braso ni Lianne sa baywang niya habang nakaunan ang dalaga sa kaniyang braso. "You really look like her," bulong ng binata bago napabuntong hininga. Was it because of that? "Alam kong magkaiba kayong tao, pero hindi ko maiwasang makita siya sa 'yo." A bitter smile spread on his lips, conscience and pain invading his heart.

Ipinilig niya ang ulo para iwaglit sa isipan ang nakaraan. Si Lianne ang kasama niya ngayon at wala siyang kinalaman sa mga nangyari noon. Isa pa, hindi rin gusto ni Feliciano na malaman ni Lianne kung sino ba talaga siya.

He was being earnest when he said he wanted a new life.

For a month, he made a promise to himself to take care of Lianne. This time, he would not cause any trouble and commit the same mistake.

His hand went to her hair, caressing it softly. He was eagerly waiting for her eyes to open. When her eyes fluttered open, Feliciano's smile widened, “Lia…” he whispered, his finger started tracing its way down to the tip of hee thin nose from eyes. He chuckled when her nose crinckled.

“Hmmnn…” Her eyes fluttered open and she was greeted by his smiling face. Halatang kanina pa siya pinapanood matulog ng binata katulad ng mga nakaraang umaga. Naiiling na lang si Lianne.

Sa nakalipas na isang linggo, palaging gano’n ang umagang sumasalubong kay Lianne. It was Feliciano, inside her room and watching her sleep until she wakes up. At first, she was uncomfortable... But then, after a few days, she grew fonder of his morning greetings. The next thing she knew, she was expectantly waiting for his good mornings and sweet gestures.

“Good morning, Sweetie!” Then, Feliciano kissed her forehead.

Lianne smiled with his sweetness. Nakasanayan niya na ang gano'ng trato mula kay Feliciano. Talagang pinaninindigan nito ang contract kahit na silang dalawa lang. And Lianne like that. For a woman who never experienced love, it was such a nice and great feeling that someone was there to take care of you and to appreciate you.

Kinikilig talaga siya sa pagiging sweet at maalaga ng binata sa kaniya. Alam niyang kontrata lamang ng Lucky 9 ang dahilan kung bakit magkasama sila ni Feliciano ngayon pero hindi mapigil ni Lianne ang pagbilis ng t***k ng kaniyang puso sa mga ginagawang pag-aalaga sa kaniya ng binata. All he did was to be a complete gentleman to her and made her wish he was her 'real' boyfriend.

“Kailan kaya kita mauunahang magising?” nakangiting tanong ni Lianne bago niya ibinaon ang mukha sa dibdib ng binata. “Feli, I’m still sleepy.”

Feliciano chuckled with Lianne’s groggy voice. Halatang inaantok pa talaga ang dalaga. Kaya naman, niyakap na lang din niya ito. He buried his face on her hair as he felt Lianne’s face on his neck.

“You smell good, Lia,” he whispered before he sniffed Lianne’s natural scent.

Natigilan si Lianne sa sinabi ng binata. Napapikit siya at kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi para pigilan ang tili na nais kumawala sa kaniyang bibig dahil sa kilig na nararamdaman. Mabuti na lang talaga at nakatago ang mukha niya sa leeg nito.

“Lia, you’re really driving me crazy,” Feliciano groaned, wrapping his legs around hers.

Natawa si Lianne sa ginawa ng binata bago hinampas ang braso nito. Bahagya siyang humiwalay sa yakapan nila. She's not even sure why was she letting him hug her like this every morning.

“Ang landi mo, Feli!” Lianne giggled.

Natawa naman si Feliciano bago hinapit ang ibabang bahagi ng katawan ng dalaga sa pamamagitan ng kaniyang binti na nakapulupot sa mga binti nito.

“Feli nga!” tili ni Lianne bago pilit itinutulak si Feliciano na patuloy siyang niyayakap palapit.

“Come to papa, Sweetie!” biro ni Feliciano. Pinalaki pa niya ang boses bago inilahad ang mga kamay, tila hinihintay na lumapit si Lianne sa kaniya. Tawa naman nang tawa si ang dalaga at paulit-ulit na umiling. “Ayaw mo lumapit?”

Lianne bit her lower lip to suppressed her laughters. She shook her head repeatedly, playfully grinning at him.

Feliciano squinted his eyes.

“Ayaw mo talaga? Naghihintay ako, Sweetie,” mahinang sabi ni Feliciano bago ikiniskis ang kaniyang binti sa binti ni Lianne.

Nanlaki naman ang mga mata ng dalaga dahil sa ginawa niya. “Feli!” saway ni Lianne bago hinampas ang binti nito na naglalakbay na pataas sa kaniyang hita.

“Lumapit ka na kasi sa ‘kin.” Ngumuso pa ang binata na ikinailing ni Lianne.

“Para kang bata, Feli.”

“Kapag ‘di ka lumapit…” hanging his words, teasing her. Napangisi si Feliciano nang kaagad nanlaki ang mga mata ng babae at halata ang curiousity sa tinutukoy niya.

“K-Kapag hindi ako lumapit… Anong gagawin mo?” Napalunok si Lianne nang unti-unting nawala ang ngisi ni Feliciano.

Sumeryoso ang mukha ng binata bago gumapang palapit kay Lianne.

“Kapag hindi ka lumapit sa akin… Babastusin kita, Lia.”

Natigilan si Lianne sa sinabi ni Feliciano. His voice was husky and addicting to hear. The room's temperature dropped in an instant and the undeniable attraction between them overpowered the control.

“Babastusin mo ‘ko?” Lianne asked, her throat suddenly became dry. Her heart was beating like crazy, her insides knot because of the tension and anticipation. "P-Paano?" She placed her hand above her chest, the exact part where she could feel the fast beating of her heart.

Instead of getting scared or anxious, anticipation and curiosity washed over Lianne.

"Should I show you how I would do it?" Tumango si Feliciano bago tuluyang tinawid ang distansya sa pagitan nila ng dalaga.

Kaagad nahigit ni Lianne ang hininga nang magtapat ang mukha nila ni Feliciano dahil sa biglaang paglapit nito. Hinawakan ng binata ang kaniyang pisngi bago unti-unting lumapit ang mukha nito sa kaniya. Napaawang ang bibig niya habang direktang nakatingin kay Feliciano. Nang magdampi ang tungki ng kanilang mga ilong, alam ni Lianne na hindi niya pipigilan ang binata sa mga susunod na gagawin nito dahil hindi naman siya tutol.

“Feli… babastusin mo ba talaga ako?” she asked using her small voice, being cautious about the next things that could happen.

Her wide and innocent eyes caught him off guard. Nakita ng binata ang kaba at kaguluhan sa mga mata ng dalaga. Mas lamang 'yon kaysa sa nakikita at nararamdaman niyang kagustuhan nito. That's the line— that's her unknowingly drawing a line. Feliciano knew he shouldn't cross it because what they had was just because of a game.

He heaved a deep sigh. Also, he couldn’t bear to taint Lianne’s innocence. He shouldn't. That's what the most he could do for Lianne and for his sanity. “You’re so pure, Lia.” Then he tucked some lose hair strands behind her ear. “Hindi kita babastusin. Sa susunod na lang kapag puwede ka na.”

Natulala si Lianne sa sinabi ng binata. Hindi niya sigurado kung nagbibiro ba 'to o seryoso sa huli niyang sinabi. But she knew she was upset— she understood the fact that Feliciano was always a gentleman and considerate to her. However, the last thing he said made her so upset— what he said proved that he didn't see her as a woman. Parang sinabi na rin ni Feliciano na ayaw nito sa kaniya.

"This is unfair. Even when you're frowning, you're still beautiful," nakangiting saad ni Feliciano bago binigyan ng distansya ang sarili mula kay Lianne. He tapped her head, “Take a bath, Lia. Mauuna na akong bumaba. Maghahanda ako ng almusal natin.”

Lianne was appalled. She was just staring at him. Her pride as a woman was just torn apart with his mixed signals; one moment he was acting so daring and sexy and then the next moment he would become wholesome. She was weighing the fact if she was rejected for being innocent.

Parang wala namang nangyaring umalis si Feliciano sa kama ni Lianne at dumiretso sa pintuan ng silid upang lumabas. He was really going to leave when his steps were put into a halt.

“Ayaw mo ba sa akin, Feli?”

Natigilan siya at nakakunot ang noong nilingon muli si Lianne.

"Huh?"

"Ayaw mo ba sa akin? Am I not attractive enough for you to see me as a woman? I'm no longer a kid." Frustrations washed over Lianne. She couldn't understand why was she making a fuss about this. But, she couldn't control her attraction for Feliciano.

Everyday, he's becoming someone she wanted to have and soon enough, no matter how much she surpress herself, she would end up wanting him.

"Hindi ka ba natatakot sa akin, Lia?"

Napakurap si Lianne sa naging tanong ni Feliciano. He was standing in front of her, leaning casually on her room's closed door. Both of his hands were crossed over his chest. He was looking at her, intently.

"Why would I?"

"Last night. I showed you my... You saw my..." He heaved a deep sigh, trying to read what's on her mind through her eyes. "You saw my tendencies... My violent tendencies." Feliciano's jaw clenched when Lianne's hands on her sides, unconsciously clutched the bedsheets. She was sitting too upright on the middle of the bed. He could sense how tensed she was.

"Tatanungin kita ulit, Lia. Natatakot ka ba sa akin?" She didn't answer. Feliciano shrugged before giving her a small smile. "See. I can't want you because you're scared of me. I can't act sweet and caring because I can't promise that I will not show my tendencies again. I don't have control over myself, Lia. Wala akong kontrol sa katinuan ko. I'm afraid I might end up ruining you— and your purity."

"But Feli—"

"I should stop here— I should stop my attraction to you before it turns to something deeper. I should stop. I really need to."

Napabuntong hininga si Lianne bago gumapang papunta sa gilid ng kama. She sat on the edge of the bed, both of her bare feet touched the carpeted floor of her room. "So hindi ka tumigil dahil ayaw mo sa akin? Did I hear you right? Did you say you're attracted of me?"

Natigilan si Feliciano. "Hindi mo ba narinig 'yung iba kong sinabi bukod sa attracted ako sa 'yo. I told you, I should stop—"

"Don't stop it. Huwag mong pigilan."

"What?" Napalunok si Feliciano. "Stop driving me insane, Lia."

"So, ayaw mo nga talaga sa akin?"

“Anong ayaw? May sinabi ba akong ayaw ko sa ‘yo?”

"Then, don't stop yourself. If you see me as a woman, treat me like I am."

"Damn, Sweetie. I didn't know you can be this feisty."