Dandelion

Chapter 19

                                                                                 "Love's prey"

Elia, let me off at the parking lot of my apartment building after I had explained on the ride back everything about the stalker and the call I received. It was hard to not do so after getting him involved like that so I took the opportunity to ask him to retrieve from my bank account the requested amount of money.

I was reassured somehow since I had no idea nor I had any will to be getting involved with such while having barely two days in my disposition, Monday was just around the corner. Elia promised to collect them in time and even agreed on coming with me in case things were to not go well. He said he will do whatever I wish but made me promise him that I was going to turn him on to the police after I was done with that meeting and I was to have returned safe and sound by his side.

The thought didn't bother me honestly. He was someone who deserved to be in prison as he was harassing Zein for months now. However, there still existed something that I had yet to find the answer to, and that had me perplexed over this future meeting with this talker guy. When had he agreed on the money sum with her and when had they decided to hand it to him? It must have been in between one of the days that I took over her body because he called to remind me that I had missed the curfew, which leads to them having closed a deal before I was to take over her body. This assumption pushes me, even more, to think that whoever pushed her down those stairs, may have not been the stalker guy, otherwise, he would know that she was dead and would not have called, but he texted...' next time there won't be a next time' what was that text about if he had not threatened her in any way that day? I suppose I will have to try my best to clarify that part when I meet him.

The elevator numbers which I was occupying, finally came to a halt and the door soon let me free at the floor where my apartment was and where I had the need to go and get some rest. This night had been trying for me and it was now early morning. The sun has started showing itself as Elia entered the parking lot earlier, so I assume it may be around five o'clock.

With sleepy eyes and a slow walk, I went on down the corridor and stood before my apartment door for a  moment, gazing at it till the password finally returned in my memory, making me press it lazily. Once inside I took off my shoes and threw them away messily, not caring if that was proper or not for the moment. All I wanted was to plop at my bed and bring my thoughts to a halt.

Why where there always so many things to think about? There should be commercial breaks in real life too just like in TV series. It would help people collect their thoughts and emotions, but I guess it would be weird if the world was to suddenly freeze for three minutes and then carry on as nothing happened. Not that if it happened we that were to experience it would ever know of it because we would be frozen. Woah, I am messing with myself again. Someone stop my thoughts.

I complained inwardly as I entered the living room and turned around to head towards the bedroom, only for my feet to suddenly halt in place in the realization that I was not alone. My peripheral vision caught the frame of someone leaning by the balcony door, arms crossed over his chest.

"Oh my! Tian. You scared me. What are you doing here?"I turned around feeling relieved that it was someone I knew yet simultaneously being startled by his sudden and unexpected existence in my apartment. 

"Elia said you might be in need of a friend because you argued with Ren." He uttered, taking his body away from the place he was and approaching me while all I thought was that Elia sure did not know how to keep his mouth shut. Of course, I understand that he may have done it with good intentions, thinking that I may be sad over everything that went down with Ren, and as such, I would have the need to talk to my best friend which Elia knows as just that, but seriously I would have preferred if he was to stay out of this and let me rest in peace.

"It's okay, I am not sad or anything," I replied and he dared to laugh at my words as he finally stood before me.

"Is someone losing feelings for the beast she fell for?" He leaned his face closer, almost looking satisfied with the thought of it and I could understand why. He probably was living for the day that he was to hear something like that come out of this lips.

"Would that make you happy?" I looked daringly in his eyes, feeling somehow annoyed that he could possibly take pleasure by someone's else pain despite the fact that I understood well that such was the situation between us.

"Are you for real? That's cruel of you. Asking that only so I can come off as the bad guy." Tian averted his eyes on the floor and I averted mine, understanding that I was not being fair towards him just as he said. That question had an answer that I already knew and asking it was meant to only trap him to admit to something I -Zein- had caused.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Do want to bring this to a stop?" He disturbed my sentence as his eyes returned on mine, making a question which I was not expecting. What was I supposed to say? I was not someone who could decide on this because I was not really involved in this but this body was now mine, and this life was as well. I definitely would have liked it to have been cleaner and less troublesome but there were human feelings involved in this. Feelings that I was to cause pain to with my decisions and surely I didn't want to be held responsible for such a thing.

"Do you?" Since I had no reply I shamelessly tried to shove the weight of this question and the decision that could possibly come with it to him, hoping that he would say yes. That he would break whatever was that this relationship was between them and would be he himself the one, to take responsibility for his own pain.

"It seems like you really want to punish me tonight..." Tian's gaze got glassy as he looked at me making me feel heavy-hearted. This is where my empathy for people comes to be my enemy apparently. It stank like a bee.

"It's okay, I may deserve it...I was the one who unnecessarily confessed and clouded your mind. I was the one who egoistically still displayed my love for you even though you were with someone else and I also knew that me doing so would tempt you because you are my best friend and hurting me would have been hard for you to do. I am the one who trapped you in this so I guess you must hate me now, right?"

No words that could be considered good enough seem to enter my mind to reply to everything he just said, finding myself overwhelmed by the new information that he gave to me as well as by the strong emotions that I could feel just by watching at his eyes and his facial expression. He was desperate, and it was visible, he was broken by the thought of having become a torment to someone he held so dear. He was scared that he had torn their friendship to a point that had no return and he surely didn't look like he could live well without this connection.

"I don't hate you." I managed to say, my arms reaching out to him and bringing him in a hug which I thought that he was in need of and he took that chance to get hold of my body and held me tight, as his face got buried on my neck and hid there securely.

"It doesn't matter what I am. It doesn't matter how many people are more important to you than me, how many you love more than me or you want more than me. It doesn't matter because I love you the most and want you the most. I don't have to be your only one nor your priority, all I need to be is yours...so please, please let me be that and never, never let me go." His hold grew tighter as he spoke, showing how much he meant those words that sounded to me as desperate and vulnerable as they sounded heartbreaking and sad.

He had lost himself in his love for her. He had lost his values and any pride or ego he may have had. He had let go of everything rational just to be able to be someone that could touch her in a romantic way. He sure seemed like a loser. A victim of love.