Dandelion

Chapter 18

                                                                            " Messing Feelings"

"Should I get you to the hospital?" Elia spoke as his hand was warmly cupping my cheek, his eyes locked in mine displaying care.

"Elia, a hospital is not going to save me now," I replied, having gathered the courage inside me to speak to this man and use him to my advantage.

"What do you mean?"

"I have been hiding something from you...from everyone." My words had him visible come to a halt right before he left his eyes to search in mine full of wonder then he looked past his back as if he was scared of anyone else listening.

"Even from Ren?" He questioned, his hand leaving my face almost instantly as if he had realized that he was being too touchy and affectionate with someone that did not belong to him.

"Elia, that day I fell from the stair, I am sure I didn't slip...someone pushed me." His eyes grew wide at my words, giving me the courage to proceed as his reaction was reassuring. He did not know and I did not know either as this was just my assumption but I believed it was so.

"What?..." He looked once more behind him and decided to step inside the vehicle, closing the door behind him in order to bring us into a more private space. He took a seat right next to me and I adjusted my seating position in order to face him as I wanted to have him in my sight fully as I was about to continue speaking. "Who did that? Who in their right minds would dare to try to hurt you?"

His eyes portrait a bit of anger as he spoke and I almost broke into a smile at how easy he was to read. Indeed he seemed like a good guy.

"I don't know. I didn't have the chance to see his face but someone pushed me." I claimed and Elia averted his eyes for a bit, pausing at nothing ahead that made me think that something was running through his mind.

"What is it? Do you perhaps have someone in mind?"

"No, I just thought that...Ren better not find out about this." He told me and I could not help but question him why. He was supposed to be Zein's boyfriend so he would have been from the first people that he had to know yet it seems that he is not scary only in my eyes but in the eyes of people that know him for a longer time than I do, as well.

"For the exact reason, you haven't told him till now of course. If he finds out...You don't have to worry. I will take care of it. I will make sure you won't be placed in such situations again and I will ask for the security footage of that day, we may find something." His last sentence had me excited as that sure would have been of help.

"Thank you, Elia, I had no one to count on. Now, I will have you." I left my hand fall on his thigh as I uttered those words, in an attempt to pursue his emotions and physically display my friendliness to him despite the fact that it was not a genuine feeling as I had in no way started trusting him yet but for now, I will use whatever his friendship could possibly give me.

"i***t, you will always have me." He smiled as his hand patted my hair then just stared at me for a bit right before his phone went off, disturbing the soft atmosphere that had gotten established between us.

"Hello..." He answered the call only to freeze as a voice yelled at the other line, loud enough for me to hear too.

"You dare lie to me!" Red said at the other line right before he hanged up and Elia looked at me a bit terrified but we had no chance to say anything between us, because the door of the van suddenly was pulled open, startling us both.

There stood Ren, with his phone still in his palm, an expression on his face that made me feel my heart falling to the end of my feet. "Why the heck are you on the back seat with her?" 

His words slipped growlingly out of his gritted teeth, making me snap to a realization. He had seen a hickey on my neck earlier and he had also found out that Elia did not come home to take me to meet my father at this late hour of the night. Finding us both at the back seat of the car sure did not add up well to the image he may have created in his head. A conclusion that sure had him fuming in rage.

"Ren, it's not what you are thinking. My father just canceled and I told him to bring me here for a moment before we were to return home." I gave him an excuse, attracting his gaze on me. Eyes so fierce that almost made me stutter.

"That doesn't explain why he is in the back seat with you, love."He smirked as his hand reached out and took hold of Elia's collar pulling him towards him and outside the van. I couldn't help but worry about what could happen as I saw Ren violently grabbing on Elia's chin, disturbing his skin with the pressure of his fingers.

"I thought that you were smarter than this Elia." He told him, right as I stepped outside and rushed to take hold of him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"It's not what you think. I was just telling him a secret. I swear it's not. Elia is not that kinda guy." I defended him, pulling on Ren's body enough for him to finally let go of him.

"Secret? What kind of secret? " Ren took hold of my hands and turned to face me, Elia's voice soon echoing behind him, telling me to not. Why was Elia risking his physical health just to keep that information from Ren? Was it that bad for him to know? He already knew that someone was after my life as I had told him about the stalker and the texts. One more attempt of someone to kill me would not make a difference however, I felt a voice inside me, pushing me to do what Elia told me.

"It's about the stalker I told you about. He called me and asked for money and I was telling Elia if he could find that amount of money for me...I didn't want to worry you."I let him in something different from what I had entrusted to Elia, that information being visibly new to him as his face betrayed his shock, but thankfully Ren was looking at me and was not facing him.

"He what? And you were planning to go meet him?" He looked at me dumbfounded as if that was the most idiotic thing he had heard in his life.

"I am curious to know why is he doing this and I want to know who he is. You don't understand how it is living constantly in this agonizing hell. I want this to end!" My voice unintentionally grew louder, showcasing my emotional frustration and the anxiety that had been traveling through my veins for a while now.

"I will end it for you. I told you I will take care of it so you should trust me!" His body stood told as he spoke, the sound of his voice authoritative yet his eyes told me a different story. A story of care for me, even though he was being quite harsh at that moment towards me.

"Ren, let's calm down. She didn't mean to keep anything from you, she is just under stress. Please be understanding." Elia got between us, giving me the chance to hide behind his back even though I was not exactly scared of Ren at that moment. I just wanted to avoid his gaze cause it was too intense. He looked like a proud wolf that had been stubbed probably by the thought of me not trusting him enough.

"Understanding?..." He scoffed as he left his hand reach to his hair and move it backward, bringing in a wider view of his forehead. "... Where would that exactly get me, Elia? Can't you see? No matter what I do, she-" He halted his tongue as he tilted his head, enabling him to take a glance at me, passed Elia's shoulder.

I made eye contact with him and I could not help but feel trapped right then and there, inside the orbs that were looking at me with anger and grievance. I hate you -they seemed to scream for an instance- Why are you doing this to me?

"Do whatever you want." He concluded right before turning around and taking his leave, not bothering to look back not even for a moment. What do  I do?  Should I go after him or-?

"What are you standing there for? Run after him, Zein!" Elia's command helped me decide between my momentary divided thoughts and my feet started running towards him at full speed as if my life depended on catching up to him.

"Ren!" I called out to him but he did not bother to slow down his steps not look behind him making me rapid his name till I finally clashed on his back, grabbing on him tightly.

"I- am...Sorry. Please don't be mad at me. I am sorry." I managed to apologize between my breaths that had grown louder because of the running I did, a try that was no appreciated as I felt my hands being yawned away forcefully right before he turned his face and gave me a look past his shoulder.

"Sorry for what? Which one of all is it that you are sorry for?" He questioned me, leaving me speechless as I did not know to what amount of all was he talking about. No matter which one was though I definitely was aware of way more things that I -Zein- should be sorry for. Things that if he knew right now, probably would have made him look way angrier than he already seemed.

How am I supposed to answer to a man who seemed to be hurt because of me? A man who seems to love me enough to get enraged at the thought of me loving or trusting someone else. How do I soothe and reassure someone that I am only his when I know that's not true. As Zein, this body has belonged and has been touched by people other than him and like myself, my heart never let him in, to claim that he was loved by it. How do you lie, at this moment, that I was well aware that I needed to lie yet it felt unfair and cruel to do this to him.

My head hanged low, not being able to give any response to him and he turned around and took off again as if nothing had happened. His steps echoed in the night as he went on, making me lift up my gaze at taking a look at his back that was getting farther and farther away, till he stopped and entered on a car that was parked at the side of the road.

He left soon, leaving behind no trace that he was ever there and strangely instead of feeling relief for his absence I felt sadness. Never in my life had I thought I would be the cause of someone to take on such a facial expression nor I had ever thought that I would be the cause of someone's feelings being played. Even though I was not entirely the sole cause because I had not been the one to own this body since birth. Nonetheless, I caught myself feeling responsible for this mess. I had to fix this somehow. I had to heal him somehow.