His Plan, My Execution

Chapter 11: What have I become?

WARNING!!! Strong language. Sensitive, traumatic descriptions (r**e). Injury details. If you are sensitive to a trumatic or injury description leave out the dotted sections. 

Do you know this feeling of wanting revenge, the need to kill someone thinking you will do world a favour? This is how I felt. Until I saw what I did.

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The sweet but sickening smell of iron and copper. The sound of slightly, sticky liquid dripping from my hands and knife. The sight of black splatters on the walls and pool on the floor in the dark room that is lightened with moonlighting only.

What have I done...? 

I looks at the body laying on a black floor, that is now barely recognisable. Hair that was before light brow, now dark and wet from blood. Eyes that were hazel, now fazed from lack of life in them. The skin that was only scarred and olive, now deadly pale and shredded to pieces with flesh ripped apart. Face that consisted of sharp features and fearless, arrogant look now... Actually there is no longer a face there. Just flesh and blood dropping on the floor in slow, small drips.

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Oh God.... What have I done?

I drop the bloody knife on the floor and bring my hands to my face. Hot, salty liquid streming down my face, some of it landing in my mouth changing my sour, sweet taste into salty and acidic.

I fall on the floor starting to scream, sob and chocke as I am at loss of oxygen. My heart race has quickened and I start to shiver. Cold sweat running down on every part of my body. This scene reminding me of two most painful daulys in my life causing my heart to shatter to pieces. 

"WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!" I screamed with terror out at the top of my lungs. 

Good thing his house is soundproof. After what felt like hours I called Toshi-nii. 

"Moshi, moshi? Xela-chan? What can I do for you?" 

(A/N: 'chan' is a friendly title used between close friends or family - like the one with 'san' but this one is lovable.)

I blink away the fresh tears and bit my lip to stop my whimpers and prepared myself the sentence I need to speak out.

"Can you pick me up? I will send you the adress... And call the cleaners." I told him with a low tone. Nearly a whisper.

"Are you all right?" He asked with worried voice.

Gosh... I have no time for this.

"f**k, Toshi! Just pick me up and do as I say!" I snapped at him, ending the call.

I instantly felt regret as those words left my mouth and I started to sob into my sleeves... Again.

~~Car ride~~

Unwillingly tears kept sliding down my cheeks as I try to observe the view flashing behind the glass. My eyes are sore and so is my nose. But I can't stop... Goddammit I hate it.

"What have you done, Xela?" Toshi-nii said clenching on the steering wheel and not looking away from the road. 

I look at him with my sore, swollen face, sitting in my black, bloodied, leather suit. It is serious. He is using my name only while speaking in Japanese. 

"Toshi. Not now. I beg of you." I plead to him with a shaky voice shutting my eyes. 

"If not now then when?! It is a f*****g, bloody m******e there!!" He starts to raise his voice. 

I see spots dancing in my view and headache menancing in my head. I will have a migrene. 

"Leave it! It is an order." I tell him with a low and strong voice. 

I don't like to use orders on Toshi-nii but I don't have strength to deal with him now.

~~At home~~

I walk into the bedroom, which thankfully is empty. Ryu-san must be in his office. 

I go into a hot shower letting the water to dilute the red, fresh-looking blood off my body and the tears on my cheeks. 

After some time I change into my PJ's and go to bed crawling under the cold, refreshing blankets smelling like fresh air, taking my mind away from today's events. 

"You stink of blood." A male's husky voice spoke. 

I must have been too tired to notice his presence. I furrow my eyebrows and stay still. 

"I am tired and don't want to talk about it, so leave it." I say with a clearly irritated voice hoping he will drop it. 

"Toshi told me what happened." He said in nonchalant tone. 

Freaking Saint Maria didn't bless him with brightness. I sigh, sit up and lean my head on the ice cold wall, letting it calm my headache. 

"And?" I said least amused knowing what's coming. 

"You f****d up, causing a bloody mess. Literally." He chuckled the last part. 

Something snapped in me. 

"Are serious right now?!" I growl at him. 

"You realize that by doing such a shitty job it puts not only you but also all those other girls hurt by him in danger as well?" He used a tone as if I was a 5 year old. 

"Oh for f**k's sake, Ryu! You really think I don't know that?!?" I bark at him turning my whole body in his direction in the bed trying to avoid touching him. 

"It wasn't like I wanted to make such a f*****g mess. He deserved that! And I should not regret my doing. Even though I f****d up, I can't turn it back now, can I?" I said in a more calmer tone massaging my temples trying to subdue the headache. 

"But what the f**k happened? I thought you were taught not to-" He asked with a raised tone. 

"He was on a phone call." I cut him off with a calm voice. 

He send a glare my way and started to massage his own temple. 

"And how is that related to the s**t you f*****g made?" He said through gritted teetch, clenching his jaw. 

"He was to do THAT again. TONIGHT." I said. 

~~Flashback~~

"Yes, boss." His tone firm as he walks into his own apartment. 

I am waiting behind the room screen sitting in a leather chair waiting for the right moment to kill the person that took everything from me. Fumihiro Natsu. 

"We strike tonight? I though it was tomorrow." He was pacing in his room. 

"It's a blondie again? You mind if I f**k her, or should I be satisfying myself with a loose hole again?" He chuckled as he said that causing my blood to boil in my veins. 

How DARE HE? Is he going to cause the same trauma to another innocent girl, again? What's worse. He wants to r**e her! 

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"Oh come on, boss! You know how I like cute, little, blond kitties! They always scream the loudest. Last one wasn't even blond. That red haired b***h didn't scream in agony causing me to go limp! She was boring saying some s**t to her daughter of a w***e. Shame I couldn't f**k her." He said with lust creeping in his voice. 

Although my eyesight adjusted to the dark room I was blinded. Blinded by rage. Need for revenge. He was talking about my mother! My mother that went through hell, humiliation and fear of being r***d and seen by her only daughter. But she still fought. She fought and made me promise to survive and not to dwell on their death. To live my life and be happy. But How could I? When he beat, tortured and r***d my mother until she died? I saw red at this point. 

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The last thing I remember is waking up with blood on my hands and corpse on the floor.

~~End of flashback~~

What have I become? 

Author's Note:

Alright. To any lovelies that couldn't read the dotted parts, I will shorten the events down for you so you know what happened. 

First section; It is describing the room in which she killed and the body, from her point of view with details. 

Second section; Describes what that man kind of wants to do to the next victim and has done to her mother, how she felt about it + her last memories of her mother. It is not in such great details but still involves traumatic experience.