Play Pretend

Chapter 1

The water splattered on Keira's shoes where her eyes were glued to, refusing to lift her gaze. The word, cliché, rang in her head, although it was not her voice that she heard. People said her voice sounded the same as Aria's, but Keira would argue. Her own voice was not as beautiful as her sister's. She watched the rain pour down as if even the heavens were mourning with her family.

They started to walk towards the tree where a thick black ribbon was tied to. On Keira's hands she held a framed photo of the person who looked exactly like her, but was the better person between the two of them. People thought she was sad. Keira did not feel sad. She did not feel anything at all except but emptiness. It was as if a huge part of her was missing. She was incomplete.

Two weeks before the car crash, Aria had been distant. It was as if she wanted Keira to get used to her absence before she left. Her sister always laid plans for almost everything, while Keira was more on the spontaneous side. Even this funeral was Aria's plan. Just a month ago, her sister learned about Tree Burials and she signed up for it, immediately making reservations for the future. Who knew the future came fast?

Too bad, Aria, Keira thought as she watched her father scatter some of the ashes around the tree that will be named "Aria". I don't think I will ever get used to you being gone. I'm not as strong as you. I never was and never will be.

Keira felt a hand take hers and a head leaned on her shoulder. She recognized a daughter of their family friend, Dana Young.

"Rest well, A," Dana said softly, calling the late girl by her nickname. "I hope you're happy wherever you are."

A couple of yards away, Keira's mother, Leila Lawrence, cried her heart out at the loss of her daughter. Her best friend and Dana's mom, Regina Young, had her arms around her. They never thought they would have to bury a daughter in their lifetime.

Behind the crowd, the first born son of the Young family cried silent tears as he watched the head of the Lawrence household close the urn of Aria's ashes and lower it to the hole in the ground. Nathan Young loved Aria with all of his heart. He swore to come back to her once he had made a name for himself just like he dreamed since he was a kid, after she made him promise that he would realize it. He wanted to be someone he was sure Aria would be proud of, especially since she had given way for him to be able to achieve his dreams of letting the world know about his music. Aria's name was the secret message on all the songs he had written. She said she wanted to be his inspiration. Was this what she meant? Was this her revenge after Nathan left her to become a singer?

The ceremony dragged on as they all said their final goodbye to the girl used to be Aria Lawrence. When it ended, Nathan pulled up his courage and went to the girl with the same face as his ex-girlfriend. When Keira turned to him, he almost thought she was Aria.

The last time he talked to Keira was six years ago when she yelled at him for breaking up with Aria just because he signed a contract with a management company. They used to be childhood friends, until he fell in love with her twin sister and dated her. He had been busy pursuing his dream, and she had been busy hating him.

Dana held his hand for a brief moment before letting go and joining their mothers, giving the two of them privacy. When his younger sister was gone, Nathan awkwardly held his arms out at Keira, who surprised him by hugging him back. It was brief but it counted for Nathan.

"She'll hate all the fuss, really," she said as the followed the others on the way out of the burial site. A total of six uncles, seven aunts and their families came, as well as some of their classmates in high school, and Aria's colleagues from the pet clinic.

Nathan smiled at the memory of Aria. "That's for sure."

"I miss her already," Keira said as they were nearing the parking area.

"Tell me about it," he agreed. Somehow, he could feel a little of the same Keira he used to be friends with.

"You're used to missing her," she pointed. "I'm not. We are living in the same apartment. Were."

He felt something pierce his chest, just above his heart, when she corrected herself. Whenever they talked about Aria, it would be in the past tense.

"Are you going there today?" he asked. "I can take you there. I'm on my way to the city."

He only said that because that was what he was supposed to do. Honestly, he did not want to have to look at Keira's face and feel the hurt of losing Aria for good all over again. Also, he said that because he knew she would refuse him.

"I'm going to stay at home for a while longer," Keira said with a slight shake of her head. She meant staying in her parent's place. "And I'm selling the apartment once I get back."

They arrived at the parking lot. They could see Nathan's dad's car parked behind the bus that some of them used to get to the burial site. Keira stopped in front of the bus.

"Just call whenever you feel like it," Nathan told her as she took a step.

Keira merely nodded and got on the bus, sitting beside Dana. She still had not forgiven Nathan for leaving her sister, but that day was not about her so she just let him be. If it was up to her, she never wanted to have to see him again. It would just bring back memories of Aria that were not so pretty.

Besides, that day of the crash, she knew Aria was on her way to meet him.

*****

"How was it?" Nathan's bandmate, Stephen Yang, asked as soon as he got to their dorms. He found his fellow members going about their house, packing.

"Sad," he answered soullessly. "How do you think it'd go?"

"Sorry, Nate," Stephen said, patting Nathan's shoulder.

They knew each other for five years now, after training together in the same label company for four years and debuting in the same group for two. Stephen knew about Nathan's sacrifice just to get to where he was now. Even though the two of them were not together, Nathan had introduced Aria to them before.

"Thanks, man," Nathan said, appreciating it.

He went straight to his room, his steps heavy. Coming home to the dorms reminded Nathan about his life that was now always busy. The oldest member of their group, Finn Song, came inside his room after seeing that Nathan was back. It seemed like their fourth member, Hans Lopez, had prepared dinner for them. Finn asked Nathan if he was going to eat, to which he answered with a shake of his head. He was usually the biggest pig in the group but he was not in the mood to do anything.

"We're flying to Japan at dawn," Finn reminded him. He gestured around the mess around Nathan, which was called his bedroom. "You should pack your bags."

"I will, Finn," he assured him. Nathan was their leader and he knew most of their schedules, although, at the time, he could not think of anything else but Aria. "Thanks," he added when he saw his bandmate leave the room.

Nathan's body did not feel like his own as he took the usual carrier bag he used when they travelled. He started packing, his hands reaching for whatever shirt his hands got on first. During normal days, he would fuss about what he was going to wear to the airport, knowing their fan sites and some of the paparazzi would be taking photos, and comment on their fashion. Fashion was another art that Nathan was interested in, but at the moment he did not care.

He stuffed the usual comfort clothes he had, not planning on going out of their hotel room once they got their rare free time after the concert. For his airport fashion, he just picked a white t-shirt that had a print of whatever anime character he did not remember, black tattered jeans and a fur coat that reached down to his knees. There was bound to be a company dinner so he packed another simple set of clothes for that.

As he rummaged around his closet, he came across a scarf. Aria had woven it herself in different shades of blue, his favorite color. He never got to wear it, even though he promised her he would. His eyes stung, and he felt tears in them again, remembering the last phone call they had.

"I heard you were going to have a concert in Japan," Aria said, then. "I bought tickets!"

"Why did you buy them?!" he asked. "I told you I was going to give you two for free."

"Give it to your mom and Dana, instead," she snapped. "Stop giving me free stuff. What kind of fan would I be if I didn't buy them with my own money?”

"Dana has school," Nathan had pointed out. "And I don't think Mom will be free then."

"Just give me backstage passes instead," she joked. "Maybe Keira will start liking you again if we introduced her to Tristan Ray."

Nathan only chuckled. "Are you planning on bringing Keira to OUR concert?"

"It's not like it is just BRIX performing," Aria said, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself. "Tristan Ray will be there, I'm sure she'll say yes to that. Besides, I want to meet Cee-Jay."

Cee-Jay was the female solo artist who was in the same label as him. Aria was crazy about her.

"Did you ask to stay friends with me so I could keep introducing you to my celebrity label mates?" he teased, and she laughed. It sounded like music to his ears.

"Why else would I want to be friends with you if not for your connections?" she joked back.

Present Nathan tucked the scarf neatly on his carrier. I got you those passes you asked for, he thought. It was the least he could do.

*****

Keira stared at two concert tickets. The envelope it was in had some drops of blood on them. Aria had it in her purse the day of the accident, while she was on her way to meet Nathan. She could still remember how animatedly she talked to Keira about it, saying Nathan's company was having a Concert Tour in Japan including all the musical artists, which meant Tristan Ray was performing as well. Keira knew Aria was just trying to get her to come with her, using her long-time crush as bait. She knew Aria actually wanted to see Nathan. Aria promised Keira that she was going to be able to talk to Tristan face to face, thanks to her connections (who was really just Nathan).

She should have said no. If she did not accept that offer, Aria would not have to meet Nathan to get those "backstage passes" he promised her. Aria would still be alive.

"You should go." Dana said on the other line. Keira called Nathan's sister and offered her the tickets.

"I don't want to," Keira said honestly.

"Do you still hate Nathan?" the younger girl said sadly. The four of them used to be inseparable but then they grew up and things became complicated.

She sighed. "It's not that," she lied. "Of course not. It's just that I have a lot to do with work and stuff."

"I'll go with you," Dana suddenly decided. "Please?"

"You just said you have school. Your mom will get mad at me."

"It's the weekend anyway," Dana argued. Keira could almost hear the younger girl roll her eyes over the phone. "And it's you I'm going with. Of course, Mom will let me. I'll even pay for my own plane ticket."

"Get your mom's permission first." Keira would just have to ask Regina to say no to her daughter.

"She's here," Dana said. "Mom! Keira's asking me to go with her to Nate's concert in Japan! Can I go?!"

"That's not what I said, young lady!" Keira panicked.

Dana came back to the phone. "She said yes. I love you, K. I'll even start packing now. Oh, and I have homework to do so I have to get off the phone."

"You little--"

"Bye, K."

The line went dead. Just when Dana got what she wanted, she ended the call. Keira stared at her phone, shaking her head as she chuckled. Dana was more like Aria’s sister than Keira ever was. If they were not identical twins, no one would know the two of them were related.

Keira took a deep breath before she looked around the house. After the phone call with Dana, she felt more alone in the apartment. Her eyes fell on the door to one of the two bedrooms that she would have to open sooner or later. She had to take care of Aria's things. Sighing deeply, she took heavy steps towards it.

*****

It was their freshmen year in high school when things started changing between the three of them. Aria took her own path and chose Sciences as her major, unlike Nathan and Keira who had been in the same class since middle school, taking up Arts.

"What is wrong with her?" Nathan pouted, drumming his fingers angrily at his desk, annoying Keira who was studying for their next subject in case their sadistic teacher decided to have a pop quiz.

"What is wrong with who?"

"Your sister."

Keira gave him a sideway glance. Nathan had recently been obsessed with her twin. She long noticed the two people closest to her had grown even closer to each other but Keira did not do or say anything about it. Nathan always said she had a sister complex because she was too protective of Aria, whenever she would not approve of whoever the younger twin dated. It was not her fault that Aria had a bad taste in men.

"What did she do this time?" she asked.

"Joshua Andrews confessed to her during lunch," he began. Keira's ears perked up and she dropped her highlighter pen. "And she told him she would think about it. What's there to think about? If she did not like him, she should have just said no."

Keira wracked her brain, trying to remember which one was Joshua Andrews. A timid boy in glasses with chubby cheeks and presence that was almost non-existent came to mind, but that was back in middle school. She did not know that the guy went to the same high school as them. It did not matter, though. Keira was going to oppose him anyway. Judging by how Nathan was pouting, it seemed like she was not going to be the only one.

"If you're going to act like that," Keira told Nathan quietly. "Just go and tell her already."

He gave her a look as if asking, "What the heck are you talking about?"

"Nathan Young," she started. "I've known you for years. Just go and confess to Aria before she said yes to someone else."

His eyes widened in shock at her words. The only thing that was keeping him from going out to Aria was the older twin who seemed to hate all the guys that she dated. Also, because the twins had been his friends since they were kids and he was afraid their relationship would not be the same the moment he dated Aria. Nathan did not even think he was going to get rejected until now.

"Can I?"

She gave him a weary look. "I may be her twin but I can't read her mind."

"I mean you won't stop being my friend if I dated Aria?"

She snorted. "You talk like you're sure she's going to agree to date you."

Nathan got up from his seat and went to sit on Keira's desk, pushing away her textbook. "What if she did? Would you hate me?"

Just how narrow did he think her mind was? "Of course not. But remember that if you hurt her just once, I'll be after your throat."

The next thing that Nathan did surprised her. He pulled Keira and hugged her really tight as if he already received Aria's answer. That was because he did. Aria told him that if he got Keira to bless their relationship, she would agree to date him. Otherwise, they would remain just friends forever.

There was a knock on their classroom door and a senior was standing on the doorway. Some of the female students who were in the room nudged each other, pointing to Zeke Wells, a Music major and was Nathan's best friend from the class one year ahead of them. He also happened to be Keira's boyfriend at the time. Shrugging Nathan off, she got up and walked to the doorway, smiling. Nathan was at her heels, grinning widely at Zeke, oblivious to the fact that the older boy was glaring at the two of them.

"Hey Zeke," Nathan said, giving his friend a high five. "She said I could date Aria."

"Then why is it my girlfriend you were hugging?" he demanded.

Nathan leaned and teasingly whispered in his friend's ear. "Dude, I've seen both of them naked back when we were kids. That's nothing."

When Zeke aimed a punch at him, Nathan ran for his life, so he could go to the classroom of those taking Natural Sciences so he could tell Aria the news. When Zeke turned to Keira, she gushed. How could she stop her sister from having a relationship when she was having the time of her life dating Zeke?

But then Zeke left her a year later to pursue his dream of becoming a musician, which was exactly the same thing Nathan did to Aria.

Years passed and she grew up. She came to realize that she had indeed been narrow minded. She held grudges for too long. It took her sister's death to make her realize that. She should not have hated Nathan for chasing his dreams just because she did not know what to do with her own life. Keira had channeled her anger at Nathan when it was Zeke who hurt her. Aria was fine with Nathan temporarily giving up because she was a much better person than Keira.