Broken

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Love Finding You

so i love you because i know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as i fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda

Paige exploded into Evan's mouth and the muscles inside her tightened around his fingers. He moaned softly at the taste of her, struggling with his desire. She was his woman, even if she didn't realize it yet. All the walls she had so carefully built around herself tumbled down under his hands. Her kiss was filled with innocent desire and love.

The first time he kissed her he understood that no man had kissed or touched her the way he had. No one had explored all the secret places in her body that needed caressing. She was different from any woman he had ever known. She was not innocent but was innocent despite it. This beautiful woman had never experienced the pleasure of lovemaking. He realized that until the moment her lips met his that he had never truly experienced it either.

Evan felt Paige's fear and confusion immediately. His darling girl was frightened. She had never felt this way with a man and it scared her. She wanted to run away. He had to stop her; he spoke softly to her, kissed her, and let his mouth bring her back to him again. Her mind still fought him but her body couldn't. She exploded in his mouth again and her body spasmed around his fingers. He wanted her desperately.

Her eyes roamed over his body with desire. He wanted to have her right there and then take her home with him, but it would be a mistake. He had to let her realize on her own that she was his. Paige had to give herself to him, but she would. She would have no choice, just as he had none.

An emptiness filled him the moment he left her. He thought the run back to the hospital would calm him, but it only delayed the inevitable. Her scent clung to his hands and clothes. His c**k was rigid as he drove home. He hurried into his apartment before anyone saw him.

He lay on his bed and brought his hands to his face so that he could smell her. He took off his shirt to find the scent of her perfume still clinging to it. He grasped his c**k in his hands and stroked it while he smelled her, thought of her mouth and the taste of her. He thought of the way she had tightened around his fingers when she came and it made him come. She had filled his soul, but without her he was hollow.

He slept that night and dreamt of her hair running over his thighs and the softness of her in his mouth. His c**k was hard and he wanted her all over again. He stroked himself again and came but knew nothing would ease his desire but her.

He picked his children up the next day. Their voices and laughter helped fill the void in him, but he couldn't seem to think of anything except Paige. He drove the children to Atlanta for a concert his daughter, Nicole, had begged to go see. The show was wonderful and he was glad she had talked him into seeing Alanis Morissette.

He took them shopping the next day and the first store they came to was Tiffany's. He saw a watch in the window. The watch was meant for Paige. He told the children to look around for a moment while he bought it for her. He couldn't let his love lose track of the time they had.

He dreamed of her every night. He woke thinking she would be beside him, her red hair across his pillow. He would touch the empty place in his bed and miss her. She would be there soon and every day for the rest of their lives.

Monday was a long day and he had no chance to see her before she was gone. He was frustrated and empty because she was so close to him, but he couldn't reach her. On Tuesday, he finished his surgery early and went to give Paige her new watch. Nervous energy teemed through his veins and it wasn't until he reached the door of the club that a sense of calm came over him. She was here, he could feel her.

The blonde at the front said Paige was there but unavailable. She was showering and wouldn't be available for at least an hour. She told him other girls were ready.

He imagined the warm water running down Paige's body and told the blonde he didn't care how she was dressed. He wanted only her. The blonde sighed and said she would do her best.

Paige was in a red oriental robe, her red hair still damp. Her face was clean of makeup and her skin was luminescent like a golden pearl. Her lemon-scented soap wafted softly in the air. The outline of her n*****s was evident through the thin silk of her robe. He wanted to pick her up and carry her home to make love to her right then.

He gave her the watch and watched her face as she stared at it with amazement. Joy spread through him because he knew how much she loved it but he could also feel her fighting him. She was trying to put up her walls as fast as she could but he put his arms around her and slid the watch on her wrist. He felt her sinking into him, as she should.

No, my love, you can't put your walls up today, he thought. He knew she would fight him, but he would win. He had been waiting for her for what seemed like an eternity. She would be his this day and every day after that.