Edge of Emotion

Chapter 10 : The Walls Closing In

The next morning, Lydia woke up feeling like she hadn’t slept at all. Her mind had been restless all night, her thoughts swirling with a sense of dread she couldn’t shake. She stared at the ceiling, knowing she had to get up but feeling too drained to move.

The weekend stretched out in front of her like an empty void. No work to distract her, no meetings to keep her mind occupied. She didn’t have plans with Adam or Claire, and the thought of spending the next two days alone with her own thoughts filled her with unease. She could feel it creeping in again—the panic, the suffocating pressure in her chest that threatened to swallow her whole.

Lydia lay in bed for what felt like hours, scrolling through her phone aimlessly, trying to avoid the growing anxiety inside her. Her messages were quiet—no new texts from Adam or Claire. She felt a stab of guilt. She hadn’t texted Claire when she got home last night like she’d promised. She quickly typed a message, trying to sound casual:

“Hey, I got home safe last night. Sorry I didn’t text earlier—just crashed as soon as I got in. Thanks for inviting me out!”

Claire responded almost immediately:

“No worries, girl! Glad you made it out. We missed you after you left! Let’s hang out soon, okay?”

Lydia stared at the message, her heart sinking. Claire had no idea how hard it was for her to even make it to the party, let alone stay. She wanted to hang out again, but the thought of going through another evening like that made her stomach turn.

She decided not to respond right away, letting the message sit in her inbox while she pulled herself out of bed.

The hours dragged by, and by early afternoon, Lydia found herself pacing her small apartment. She hadn’t eaten anything all day—her appetite had been nonexistent. She tried to make a sandwich, but after a few bites, the nausea set in, and she pushed the plate away.

She needed to get out of her apartment, needed air, space—anything to escape the suffocating stillness. Without thinking, she grabbed her keys and left the apartment, letting her feet guide her.

Lydia found herself walking through the bustling streets of Orchard Road, the busy shopping district filled with tourists and locals alike. People moved around her, shopping bags in hand, chatting, laughing, going about their day. But she felt detached from it all, like she was walking through a fog, separated from the world around her.

Her heart began to race again, her palms sweaty. The crowds felt overwhelming, the noise too much. She tried to steady her breathing, but the panic was creeping in again, faster and harder this time. She looked around, searching for a place to escape the crowd, but everywhere she looked, there were people—too many people.

Suddenly, her vision blurred, and her chest tightened. She couldn’t breathe. She stumbled into a nearby café, her mind foggy as she searched for a quiet corner. She slid into a booth near the back, her head spinning.

Her hands shook as she fumbled with her phone. She needed to call someone—anyone—before the panic completely overtook her. Her thumb hovered over Adam’s name in her contacts, but she hesitated. She had already leaned on him so much lately, and the last thing she wanted was for him to think she was too much to handle.

Instead, she pressed Claire’s number.

It rang twice before Claire answered, her voice cheerful. “Hey! What’s up?”

Lydia struggled to speak, her throat tight. “Claire, I… I’m not okay.”

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, then Claire’s voice softened with concern. “Lydia, where are you? Do you need me to come to you?”

“I’m at a café near Orchard,” Lydia whispered, her voice shaking. “I just… I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m going to pass out.”

“Stay right where you are,” Claire said firmly. “I’m on my way. Just breathe, okay? I’m coming.”

Lydia nodded, though Claire couldn’t see her. She put her phone down, her hands trembling as she tried to follow Claire’s instructions. Breathe. Just breathe.

But the panic wouldn’t let go. It was like being trapped in a collapsing tunnel, the walls closing in tighter and tighter until there was no air left. She gripped the edge of the table, trying to ground herself, but everything felt unreal. The room spun around her, the noise of the café blending into a dull roar.

Minutes felt like hours, but eventually, Lydia heard Claire’s voice cutting through the haze.

“Lydia!” Claire rushed to her side, kneeling next to her. “I’m here. You’re okay.”

Lydia’s vision cleared slightly, and she saw Claire’s face, her expression full of concern. Claire gently took Lydia’s hand, squeezing it.

“You’re okay,” she repeated softly. “Just breathe with me.”

Claire began counting her breaths, encouraging Lydia to follow. Slowly, slowly, Lydia’s breathing steadied. The tightness in her chest began to ease, though the exhaustion from the panic attack left her feeling weak and disoriented.

After a while, Claire helped her out of the café, guiding her to a nearby bench where they could sit away from the noise of the crowd.

Once they were outside, Lydia leaned back against the bench, her body limp from the panic attack. She felt embarrassed, humiliated even. Why couldn’t she just hold it together? Why did her mind betray her like this?

Claire sat beside her, not saying anything at first, just letting Lydia catch her breath. Then, after a few moments, she spoke.

“Lydia, you don’t have to go through this alone, you know? You can always call me—day or night. I’m here for you.”

Lydia wiped her eyes, her voice barely a whisper. “I just… I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want you or Adam to feel like you have to take care of me.”

Claire shook her head. “You’re not a burden. We care about you. It’s okay to need help sometimes.”

Lydia looked down at her hands, her mind still clouded with guilt and shame. She wanted to believe Claire, but the weight of her disorder made it hard to trust that anyone could truly understand what she was going through.

“Thanks for coming,” Lydia said finally. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t.”

Claire gave her a soft smile. “That’s what sisters are for.”

That evening, Lydia returned home, her body exhausted from the emotional toll of the day. She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the familiar walls of her apartment. She felt drained—mentally, physically, and emotionally—but at least the panic had passed for now.

Before she went to bed, Lydia picked up her phone and texted Adam:

“Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for always being there for me. I’ve had a rough day, but I’m getting through it. I appreciate you more than you know.”

Adam replied almost immediately:

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m here for you, always. Call me if you need to talk, okay?”

Lydia smiled faintly at his words, her heart warmed by his constant support.