After the Snow

Chapter 12 - Gone

Chapter 12

Gone

"Babe, are you okay? Bree, please open the door."

I sighed, curling into a tighter ball. I had been laying on my bed, staring off blankly at the wall for the past twenty minutes. My brain was in such a scramble after what happened, I couldn't even process it.

"Bree, I'm starting to get worried, open the door," Scott said urgently, pounding his fist against the door harder. Sighing, I sniffed, wiped my eyes, and forced myself to get up. I quickly opened the door, grabbing Scott and pulling him inside before slamming it shut again. At that moment, I didn't really want to even see Scott. "Have you been crying?"

I shook my head, "I think I've just caught a cold, that's all," I quickly lied, hoping it sounded believable. Scott grabbed my face, taking a step closer.

"You don't have a fever..." He trailed off, raising an eyebrow. If he caught onto my lie, he didn't ask. Instead, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my nose gently. "Mackenzie and I went to the store on the way home." Scott wrapped me in a hug, squeezing me tightly.

"That's probably a good thing," I chuckled, "My family is coming for dinner." At this, Scott groaned and pulled out of my hug. "What? We talked about this, and we agreed it was best for them to come here instead of us going there for Christmas."

"I know," He groaned, leaning his head back, "I was just hoping to kick your friends out and just have a night to ourselves." I frowned, grabbing both of his hands. Of course, I could understand why he wanted that, but it was Christmas time, and we needed to spend time with friends and family.

"Maybe tomorrow," I grinned, kissing him on the lips, quickly. A pang of guilt hit me when I realized what I was doing; I was acting as if nothing had happened. What else was I supposed to do? Scott would leave me if he found out, that was for sure. And maybe he had a right to, but I didn't want to lose him. I couldn't lose him. "Well, guess I better get cooking."

Without another word I walked into the living room, my heart pounding. In order for this to blow over, I had to act like nothing ever happened, like it meant nothing. Anthony was sitting in the couch when I walked out. He looked at me curiously.

When I saw him, I felt a faint blush creep into my cheeks. No, I can not act like a fifteen-year-old! I marched over to the coffee table, picked up my ring, and slipped it on. Anthony stiffened, his jaw set.

"Look," I hissed, leaning forward, closer to Anthony. "What happened, it meant nothing. I don't know what got into me. You can't tell Scott, please, I beg of you." I gave him puppy dog eyes, awaiting his answer. He looked at me, and his eyes hardened.

"I won't tell Scott, but don't you dare tell me you felt nothing." He hissed, standing up roughly. I jumped, startled by his sudden movement.

"I-" I didn't get to finish my sentence. Anthony stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door on the way. When the door slammed, I flinched. As much as I wanted to believe he was coming back, I had this feeling he was gone again. My heart felt like it was broken. I couldn't lose him again!

"What happened?" Mackenzie asked, poking her head into the living room. I shook my head, blinking back tears. He'll be back, Bree, he probably just needed some fresh air.

"Nothing," I said weakly, turning around. "What are you doing in the kitchen?"

Mackenzie smiled brightly. "I'm making Christmas cookies!" She cheered, quickly slipping back into the kitchen. Oh god, this wouldn't be good.

"Bree, can you come here please?!" Scott called, making me sigh. Mackenzie really needed to be supervised, but a minute with Scott wouldn't hurt. I went to find my fiancé, twisting my ring on my finger. "Hey, I have work in twenty minutes."

"What?" I asked, wrinkling my eyebrows. Scott was pulling on his work shirt and frantically running around, trying to get things ready. "I thought you said you didn't have work till after Christmas." Scott worked at Sonic part-time since he was still a college student. He had to make money somehow, even if he did hate it.

"I know, babe," He frowned, running a hand through his hair. "But they called and said Angie got sick and needed someone to cover for her. I could use the extra cash, so I said yes."

I'm not going to lie, I was upset. He had worked as many hours during the month of December as he could purposely, so he could have the week before Christmas to spend with me. We had both talked about it, and both taken off our jobs, and now he was ditching me.

"Are you mad?" He pouted, walking up and cupping my cheeks in both hands. I bit my lip, looking at the ground.

"No," I finally sighed, deciding I did need some best friend time. His face lit up, his smile widening.

"You're the best!" He exclaimed, giving me a quick kiss. "I'll be back for dinner, I promise!"

"Be careful!" I called as he ran to the door. "It's really icy out there!" Then he was gone. There was a crash from the kitchen, followed by a scream. I groaned, rubbing my hands over my face. What did Mackenzie do now?

"I swear, it jumped!" Mackenzie exclaimed, looking at the spilled batch of cookie dough on the ground. I rolled my eyes, placing a hand on my hip.

"And who's going to clean that up?" I asked, c*****g my head.

"You?" Mackenzie said hopefully, smiling. I gave her the 'b***h-please-try-again,' look, and she sighed. "You and me?"

"Better," I nodded, grabbing a towel from the counter. "So, what are the cookies for?"

"Well, your family is coming over for dinner, right?" She asked. I nodded. "I thought it would be nice for dessert!"

"That's really nice of you," I smiled, wiping up the last of the spilled dough. "I'll help you." So, for the next twenty minutes, we mixed more dough, cut the dough into little Christmas tree shapes, and put them in the oven. Then, we went and sat down in the living room.

"I can't wait to see Kayla," Mackenzie said, "Has she grown much?" Mackenzie considered Kayla a sister, especially since she didn't have any siblings of her own. Kayla really loved Mackenzie, as well.

"It's kinda creepy how much she's grown," I chuckled, shaking my head. "She's not a little girl anymore, that's for sure."

Mackenzie squealed. "We'll get to take her shopping for her first bra soon!" I literally choked on my own saliva. Just the thought of my sister in a bra...No, she was still way too little to need that.

"Excuse me?" I choked out, giving her my best 'what the hell' face. She just shrugged, flipping on her TV. "I think that's more of my mom's department."

"Say what you want, but Sister Mackenzie is taking her to Victoria's Secret as soon as she can fit into their smallest size. We're starting her right." I rolled my eyes, this was a lost cause. Once Mackenzie made up her mind, it didn't change. I leaned back on the couch, pulling my knees up to my chest and twirling my ring around my finger. That had become my habit for when I was upset or nervous.

I couldn't stop thinking about Anthony. Was he really gone for good? He had given off the vibe when he had stormed out of the house. His suitcase was still here though, so he had to come back. Why did he hurt me? He did it so easily too like it was no big deal. Maybe he just didn't care about me, or maybe he didn't realize he was doing it. I definitely shouldn't be so attached. I couldn't help it, though. Every time I tried to distance myself from him or change my feelings, they ended up getting stronger. I knew one thing for certain, though; I didn't want him to leave again.

"Okay," Mackenzie said suddenly, making me jump. "What's bothering you?"

"I-" There was no use denying it, Mackenzie knew me better then I knew myself. I had to tell her. "I think Anthony left..."

"What?!" She exclaimed, almost falling off of the couch. This made me smile slightly, but I was still upset. "Why? What happened?"

"Something bad..." I whispered, resting my head on my kneecap. Honestly, I felt so guilty. Kissing Scott made me feel like absolute crap. Scott was an amazing guy, he didn't deserve me.

I felt Mackenzie stiffen. "What did you do?" Those four words are so small, but they cracked my walls down. Tears built in my eyes as I let out a choked sob, gripping my legs tighter. "Hey, it's okay, we can fix it." She cooed, wrapping my arms around my crumpled form.

"No we can't," I sobbed, "I'm a horrible person! I don't deserve to live!" Mackenzie grabbed my tighter, rocking me back and forth. I just cried. What else could I do? I cheated on my fiancé, the man I was engaged to. When I said yes I made a commitment, I agreed to spend my life with him. I had gained his trust, respect, and love, and I had thrown all that away for fleeting moments of pure bliss; to feel like I was in high school again.

"Bree, tell me what you did, please, I'll fix it, just please," Mackenzie whispered, rubbing circles on my back. I sniffed, wiping my nose.

"I slept with him," I whispered, not looking up. I couldn't look at her, not like this. At that moment, I couldn't think of a worse moment of my life. The worst part was I couldn't say I didn't enjoy it, and I didn't fully regret it. That's what made me so disgusting.

"Who?" She breathed, but she didn't have to ask. She knew. For a moment, we were silent. What was she supposed to say? Slowly, she pulled away from me and stood up, starting to walk in circles. That was Mackenzie's way of thinking. "I...Bree, you...But Scott.."

I sighed, finally looking up. My best friend didn't look at me with disgust, or anything other than pity. She pitted me, but maybe that was what made it even worse.

"I know, so please don't lecture me," I groaned, wiping away my tears. They still fell, but I wasn't quite as shaky. "We were just caught up in the moment, it was a-a mistake..."

She sighed, running her hands through her hair roughly, "You're engaged to Scott, Bree, and you had s*x with Anthony. I thought you were better then that." My guy clinched, that's exactly what I didn't want to hear. It hurt, so naturally I was defensive.

"I just-"

"No," She suddenly snapped, looking at me with fire in her eyes. "Don't speak, because you need to hear this! You cheated, Bree, do you realize that?! Do you know what you did?! To make it worse, you cheated on your fiancé!"

I bowed my head, sighing. Sure, I wanted to scream back. I wanted to more than anything. But, she was right. Every word she said stung, but she was right.

"You have to tell him," She whispered, placing a hand on my knee. I flinched. "Look, I'm not going to apologize for yelling, you needed to hear it...But I'm still your friend, I'm here for you."

"Why would you want to be friends with someone so disgusting?" I muttered, playing with my ring.

"You're not disgusting, you just made a mistake. You're human," Mackenzie smiled weakly, wrapping me in a hug. I hugged her back tightly. "Now, go take a shower to make yourself feel better, I'll finish the cookies."

That night, I pretended like my heart wasn't breaking. I pretended like I wasn't so confused. I pretended that I hadn't cheated on Scott. I pretended I was happy. Dinner with my family went smoothly; no one found out my secret. I knew Mackenzie was right though, I had to tell Scott. Somehow, I couldn't force myself to do it, though, even when my family left and we were laying in bed all alone. Instead, I went to sleep with a heavy heart, feeling like the worst human being on the planet.

Sometime during the night, I woke up. I thought I heard the front door close, so I immediately jumped up. Quietly, I crept into the living room, making sure not to wake up Scott or Mackenzie. When I got there, everything was the same, except for a small bag sitting by the door. I quickly ran to it, ignoring the card and opening the gift straight away. I didn't need to read the card to know it was from Anthony.

Inside the bag, I found a bag of chocolate kisses, purple, fuzzy socks, and a small box. I opened the box to find a pair of earrings inside. They took my breath away. They were small studs that looked like ruby's inside of gold casing. Tears pricked my eyes as I looked around, noticing Anthony's suitcase was gone. This couldn't be happening.

Next, I grabbed the card. I needed to know what he said, I had to know. Maybe he gave me some explanation, maybe he would tell me why he was so mad. Inside, I found a handwritten card. It filled one whole sheet of paper with the neatest handwriting ever.

Bree,

If I woke you up, I apologize. It wasn't my intention.

Let me start off by saying happy birthday. This is also your Christmas present, so I hope you like it. The earrings, if you didn't notice, match your necklace. You seemed to like it so much I thought you would enjoy these as well.

Next, I am deeply sorry for what I am about to do. I know I hurt you when I left last time. It wasn't my intention to hurt you again, but I now know I can't stay. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I knew your feelings for me, I shouldn't have let my own feelings get in the way of protecting you. You're too important to me, and yet I betrayed you.

I can't stay knowing I will never be more than your friend. You have found happiness with Scott, Bree, and I will not be the person to take that from you. I may have fallen short before, but now I have to step up. I'm protecting you from myself.

So, Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. I hope you have the happiest life anyone could have because you deserve the best.

Love,

Anthony.

I was so overwhelmed by his letter. No words could explain the emotions running through my body. In fact, I think I felt numb. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could. I cried.