Dejection and Doubt
2544 Words
Tears continue to cascade from my swelling eyes and my shattered morale boosts them further. Castle guards simultaneously arrive one after another and they surround me, prowling with weapons in their hands. My mind is muddled up and my heart is ashamed that I couldn’t say a word or lift a muscle. A hand grabs the back of my neck and shoves it down until one side of my face hits the ground, then more and more hands grip and pin me. They clasp my wrists and ankles with something heavy and thick.
While some guards drag me, others are carrying the corpse of the man I just killed. When Lilom comes into the scene, she immediately runs towards the dead man, her eyes are wet and red.
“Silim! No!”
Her cry magnifies the guilt I have inside. She keeps on screaming and cursing but I don’t have the courage to glance at her.
A sack is put on my head which doesn’t bother me at all. My legs trudge voluntarily to whichever direction they drag me then I’m hurled to somewhere where a metal creaks and clangs. I lay myself to sleep on a cold rusty surface as my body bounces up and down while hearing the clip-clop of the horse’s feet against the ground.
The next time I open my eyes is when a cold icy water is splashed on my face. A throbbing pain travels from my wrists to my shoulders as a chain that’s attached on the ceiling suspends me from the floor.
Fists and some kind of hard object start pummeling my face and torso until blood streams down from my nose and mouth. The area is quite dark and my left eye is swollen and completely shut close so I couldn’t clearly see much. Then a hand clutches and lifts my jaw.
“How dare you?!” says a loathsome voice. “You don’t know what you’re up to.”
“Who are you?”
“Your greatest nightmare.”
When the voice registers in my head, I mention it with a bit of uncertainty. “Lilom?”
A palm slaps me on my cheek so hard that my ear almost loses its ability to hear and my head gets dizzy.
“You don’t have any right to call my name with that filthy mouth of yours!”
No matter what I’ll do or say, it’s apparent that her hatred towards me won’t fade away that easily so I stay quiet the entire time.
After blathering about how powerful and unforgiving the Moon Tribe is, she rips my shirt off then coils something long and thin around her hand and whips it at me.
“Aaaahhh!”
The excruciating pain is incomparable to the once I’ve felt before. My head is spinning, my mouth is spewing blood and my throat is lacking some air while she enjoys torturing my body. Lilom keeps on going with her vindictive acts and I could sense that she’s not done yet. I twitch momentarily when she takes a sword which is lying on a desk.
She traces her finger on its blade. “Is this Silim’s blood? Should I impale you with this same sword that killed him?”
With tiny strength I have left, I boot my feet and sway my body to try to escape but by doing so only gives me more pain than anything else.
She sniggers. “I won’t allow his blood to be mixed with yours. And besides, I plan to make your death agonizingly slow.”
A castle guard takes the sword from her while another one hands her something I can’t explain but its tip produces kinda like micro lighting bolts. Lilom sneers while striding closer to me and in an instant my body shudders in affliction. I scream at the top of my lungs as tears fall down from one eye. She does it over and over again until my tingling body numbs.
Her scornful laugh is stopped by multiple bangs behind the close door.
“Open this door!”
I only manage to identify who it is when the door slams open. I’m mortified when the person lays her eyes on my horrible situation. She covers her mouth with both her hands before running to me. Her eyes demonstrate sorrow. The moment I lower my head to avoid her gaze, she gently lifts my chin and tenderly brushes my bangs away from my forehead.
“Liyab, I’m sorry,” she says. Her voice cracks and shakes as tears wet her face.
“Tala, stay out of here,” Lilom commands.
“No!”
Tala’s response breaks Lilom’s deadpan expression. She narrows her eyes and clenches her jaw. “It’s an order from your superior.”
“Release him,” Tala says.
“If I say no?”
“It’s an order from the princess. Release him now or you will all lose your jobs!”
The castle guards are looking at each other waiting for the first one to make a move but they rush towards me and unclasp the chain from my wrists when Tala starts to count down. My feet wobble as soon as they hit the cemented floor so I let my body to be caught by Tala. We almost flop when she loses her balance but the guards are able to help out. They put my arms around their shoulders and carry all my weight as I slide my feet over the ground.
“The crest on the sword.”
I weakly gasp with Lilom’s words but remain silence.
She hands my kalis over to one of the castle guards before glaring at me. “Find out what it means and where it comes from.”
“Yes, my lady.”
Words try to come out of my mouth but fails. At this point, I’m powerless to argue or to stop her from doing what she wants.
When we step out of a small dim room, a crisp puff of wind smudges my sweaty and dirty skin and gradually, my consciousness succumbs to my aching external and internal wounds.
-----------------------------
I force to open both my eyes but the left one is bulged. It can’t open no matter how I try so I just let one eye to look around without moving my head. The chair’s cushion on my back is cozy and comfortable, the space is well lit by an intricately designed lighting that dangles from the ceiling and a sweet smoky scent that swirls in the air is nice and calming.
Tala places a basin on a glass table beside me, soaks a cloth then wipes it over my skin. I quiver everytime she gently dabs the warm cloth on my wounds.
“Does it still hurt?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
The corners of her lips are curled downward and her wet swollen eyes show sadness.
“Hey, did you cry?” I ask, forcing to lift my arm to reach her face but she grasps it down then massages it.
“Don’t move. You’ll open your wounds.”
She walks to the arm of the chair where my feet rest, takes off my boots and rolls my pants up to my knees then cleans my legs and feet with the cloth she’s holding.
“Why?” I ask.
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you helping me, a murderer?”
She gasps and it takes a little while before she answers my question.
“If you didn’t kill him, do you think you’re still gonna be alive?” She walks back to my side and takes a seat on the edge of the chair, her eyes pin to mine. “Silim never finished a fight without killing his opponent. The only times he didn’t kill them were whenever Dama de Noche interfered.”
“Aren’t you mad at me?”
She raises an eyebrow while crossing her arms. “Why would I?”
“He’s a descendant of Mayari, just like you.”
“So what? Is that important?”
Her answer prompts me to sit down but I quickly flump my back on the chair. I grit my teeth and arch my body in pain.
“Are you okay? I told you not to move.”
When the pain lessens, I straighten my body and lie properly before asking Tala another question.
“Why are you not concern about your tribesmen?”
“Huh?” She frowns. “I’m only concern about the people I care about, even if we don’t share the same bloodline.”
“Are you saying that you care about me?”
And like earlier, she doesn’t immediately respond and she even ducks my gaze but when she finally does, her voice is almost inaudible. “I do.”
I smirk. “But you don’t know who I am.”
“You were worried about me when we were in Gaba’s Underworld without even knowing that I’m a princess, weren’t you?”
And for the second time, I’m confounded with her answer. My lips obstruct anymore words that would like to break free from them. If we are to argue about certain things, I’ll definitely lose.
By an unintended chance, the thought that crosses my mind also slips out from her mouth at the same time.
‘Is it someone’s fault to be born in a particular lineage?’
“Is it someone’s fault to be born in a particular lineage?”
Our sights meet again and we both smile at each other.
She walks towards a shelf and takes a thick hardbound book then sits back at the edge of the chair and flips its pages. Her voice is like a lullaby that relaxes my senses as she reads stories about things I don’t pay attention to. My mood brightens up as this foreign affection in my heart keeps on growing stronger.
Slowly, I grip the frame of the chair and forcefully pull my weight up then Tala stops reading the book and assists me. When I’m able to sit down, our faces unintentionally get extremely close that the tips of our noses touch. Our mutual eye glaze roughens my breathing and my heart beats incredibly fast as we both move our lips closer to each other and then…and then…knocks on the door ruin the moment. We puff and pant while separating our faces then avoid each others eyes.
Tala stands up and opens the white huge door. Outside of the room standing, a woman in uniform and Kalasag. It surprises me that he’s here and so does Tala.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you’ll come?” Tala says.
“Actually, it’s not my plan to come here. I just found out that the king is here in Saab so I decided to meet him to talk about some stuffs instead of me travelling all the way to the Pearl Palace. Then I heard some of your members talking about you and someone that fits the description of a person I know,” he explains, peeking his head to the room to glance at me. “And ooh boy, my hunch is right.”
“Please come in,” Tala says while opening the door wider.
Kalasag takes a seat to a smaller chair adjacent to mine. After greeting him with a smile, I unconsciously shift my sight to Tala who’s still standing at the door and we awkwardly look away the instant our eyes meet.
“I…” she says. “I’ll go outside. So you guys can talk.”
“You don’t have to. It’s not really a private conversa...”
She closes the door and leaves with the other lady before Kalasag could even finish his statement. Wrinkles form on his forehead when he looks at me with a perplex expression.
I chuckle before diverting his attention into something else. “Thank you for taking the time to check on me.”
He stares at me with sympathy then lets out a sigh. “You should slow down. This is only the second time we meet and in these times, you are always severely battered.”
I lower my head and scratch my palms on my pants.
“Do you have a parent?” he asks.
“Yeah. My mother and my father whom I’ll meet again.”
He then puts his hand on my shoulder. “The most hurtful event that a parent could experience is to lose his or her child. So value your life. You can’t always depend on your ability to fight, choose your battle.”
‘He speaks the truth and I have no excuse to disagree with him. How many times have I questioned my history and my fate? If only I have the option to be born again and live a normal life, I’ll choose it in a heartbeat.’
Kalasag takes his hand off my shoulder then stands up. “I’ll be back here tomorrow night since my meeting with the king was cut short. I hope you’re still here, there’s something I’ll give you and to Sinag and Gasol too.”
I nod with a faint smile. “Thank you.”
While Kalasag and Liyab are left in one of the rooms inside the Peace and Order Faction’s headquarter, Tala goes back to the storage room where Liyab was tortured which is located at the back of the main building across a towering concrete wall.
There’s nobody in there except her. The room is stinky and hot since there’s no window or fan for proper ventilation. She glides over the blood stained floor and while roaming around to look for Liyab’s sword, she’s baffled by a big rat that runs between her feet causing her to fall down on the boxes that are stacked at one corner of the room. When the boxes scatter on the floor, Tala notices a portrait that’s hidden behind them.
“That is the portrait in Dama de Noche’s workroom. Why is it here?”
She takes it and stares at it. When she realizes who the couple in the portrait is, her jaw drops and her eyes widen in disbelief.
“I knew I’ve seen them before! Pedro and Pilar, the Barang!”
- Writer
