HIS TRUE SELF (DO YOU STILL TRUST ME?)

chapter 4

You were shocked. So shocked, that adrenaline rushed through your veins, making you giggle.

Hahah that better be a joke, you thought and continued giggling silently until you heard the door close.

Not even 10 seconds later, Felix stood in front of you, guilt and uncomfortableness all over his face. But the moment he saw you laughing, he got confused.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Why I'm laughing?", you asked and could barely breathe anymore so you took a short break before speaking and inhaled deeply, which helped you to clear your head.

But it was questionably if a good mind would be good or bad right now.

"Because maybe those weird guys who randomly came here at 4 a.m JUST CALLED MY BOYFRIEND AFUCKING GANG MEMBER", you started the sentence in a normal tone but ended it with screaming right into his face.

Your laughing time was over. You probably should've felt confused... or... shocked right now... which you probably also did and just didn't notice. But the main thing felt was anger.

Anger towards Hyunjin, who was your boyfriend for

YEARS and your best friend who always comforted you and made you think Hyunjin would just be out somewhere and hurt himself while being clumsy.

Sure.

"You better tell me this is a joke. I swear Felix", you said in a dangerous tone.

"I wish I could", he mumbled.

"For f***s sake, feel like I'm in a weird movie or in a bad reality show where a clown jumps out now and yells 'hahaha you just got pranked' but no, my boyfriend is just a gang member, ha ha sure"

You looked at Felix, who was avoiding your gaze.

"And you? You told me s**t over all these years? was worried sick every night and searched for comfort. And you just told me some random stories and told me not

to worry while he was probably out there shooting and torturing some people"

"Don't you think felt bad myself for doing that?! was trying to protect and comfort you! What else should I have done? Telling you that we're part of a gang? Of course, Y/n, why not", Felix said and looked you straight into the eyes, his eyes mirroring mixed emotions, some as the guilt in his face before, but also anger and sadness now.

He got a point. You really had to admit that. It was no question that he was right with what he said. He couldn't just tell you they were part of a gang. But still, all those emotions added to a tired and exhausted you were dangerous.

"So? I came to you because loved you as my best friend. To hang around with you and search for comfort when Hyunjin was away all the time. I told you about all my worries and my secrets. You knew everything about me and thought knew everything about you... and Hyunjin", you said and took a break to inhale again.

You felt hot tears burning up in you and it was harder for you to breathe, but you still got yourself together to speak.

"And now you're telling me that my best friend and my boyfriend are some killers don't a single bit about? This looks like a bad mafia film. For real Felix, I can't do this anymore. I lived in a lie for so many years. Neither do I know who you both truly are? Is Felix your real name? Was it a mission of you both to get friends with me? Tsk. Let me just go", at this point, it's not even worth mentioning that you were basically crying your heart out.

Neither do we have to talk about the fact about living in a lie. Your best friend? Who was he really? Your boyfriend? What's his true self?

"Y/n stop talking s**t. We are no killers and we both know that you're not a mission and that Hyunjin loves you and-"

You just turned around. You couldn't hear this anymore. You couldn't see him anymore. You just wanted to run away.

And this is exactly what you tried to do, but Felix tried to stop you.

"Y/n you can't just go now", he said and wanted to grab your wrist, but you pulled your arm away.

"Don't f*****g touch me ever again"

He was right, you couldn't just go. In this state, with this emotions you would probably crash your car after a few meters. Not being able to think straight has always been dangerous.

And right because of this reason, you just went to the door, ready to drive away, while a helpless Felix was following you.

But when you opened the door, things turned 360 degrees.

"That was like a drama straight out of a Hollywood blockbuster. 'I don't even know who you are', 'my whole life is a lie', 'am just a mission?!', hahaha.... Unfortunately Felix forgot to close his windows and your yelling could be heard he streets down. That really went bad for you"

It was Seungmin who said that.

He just leaned in the doorframe with his arms crossed and looked at you with an amusing smirk.

"Seungmin I'm warning you, don't-"

You would've really wished to hear what Felix said, but the moment you saw Seungmin... not only the things took a 360 degree turn but it also felt like your head did. You felt so dizzy that you were barely even able to stand anymore. Your vision was blurry and Felix voice drifted away more and more....

before everything went black.