Reiver

Chapter 7

Dark Wolf

You found me

The smell of my blood had drawn me close.

Feathertail.

Annie spent the rest of the day trying to keep busy. Anytime she was still, thoughts of Hugh Crozier sneaked into her head distracting her. Maybe she should have gone for lunch then at least she wouldn’t have spent hours fretting about that evening's meeting. She had considered having a nap but decided against it as she would probably only end up dreaming of him and would turn up to the date hot and flustered. At least she could put a name to a face now, Hugh, she liked it and it suited him. She found herself wondering what pack he came from as a picture of his smile flashed into her head. The pull of the bond was as strong as ever and she wondered if he felt it too. Ah, she was doing it again, thinking of him, she stomped upstairs to get ready as a way of distracting herself from any more thoughts of Hugh bloody Crozier.

Hugh was sitting at a table outside The Stag when Annie arrived. He watched her walk towards him. She looked amazing as ever, long black wool coat, long black boots and her hair left down. She was nothing like the Reiver women back home, they were all about dressing up and showing off their wealth. As Reivers were followers of the old religion, she-wolves aspired to nothing else but finding their mates and producing pups, as they had always believed that their strength was in numbers. He didn’t know one she-wolf who had obtained any education after leaving school and certainly none who had gone outside the pack and forged a career and he wasn’t sure how he was going to deal with this independent woman.

Annie had a simple elegance, everything she wore accentuated quiet class, she chose classic styles, minimal jewellery and only ever light make-up, nothing complicated, nothing fussy. He thought back to the wedding, that dark blue dress which clung in all the right places, not too short and the halter neck, showing just enough of her shoulders to look elegant rather than trashy.

As she reached the table Hugh stood and smiled, her scent assaulting his nose making him slightly light-headed. Annie nodded in his direction and took a seat opposite him, looking him up and down she suddenly announced “I think we should sit inside.”

“Oh, ok.” replied Hugh, confused, “I thought it would be better out here where we wouldn’t be overheard.” he explained.

“Normally I would agree with you but I have spent twenty or more years in the human world without ever revealing myself. You’ve been here one day and you’re about to blow my cover.” Annie smiled at him coldly as she stood, Hugh followed her lead clueless as to what she meant but he followed her regardless. He tried to open the door for her but Annie got there first, pulling the door open and disappearing through it. All Hugh could do was trail after her as she led the way inside and found a table in a quiet corner while he went to the bar and ordered two whiskeys. He weaved through the sparse Sunday night customers back to the table taking a seat opposite Annie.

Once he was seated he asked her what she meant outside.

“You haven’t spent much time around humans have you?” she asked.

“No, not really, only when doing business, why do you ask?”

“When mixing with humans, the trick is to blend in, right?”

Hugh nodded, not sure where she was going with this.

“It’s four degrees outside and you’re sitting there in your shirt and suit pants. Do you see any humans sitting outside in summer attire? No, do you know why? Because it’s bloody freezing.” she finished, slightly annoyed. “I know we don’t feel the cold but they do, you already stand out due to your size so don’t do anything else that makes you more noticeable or the next thing you know it’s all pitchforks and lighted torches. I have a good life here and I don’t want anything to screw that up, ok?”

Hugh looked around at the humans in their thick sweaters.

“Ah, I see.” he mumbled. “Ok.” answered Hugh with a nod.

“Why do you live outside your pack, I’ve never known anyone do that, especially not a she-wolf?” asked Hugh, curious. Annie looked at him incredulous.

“Gosh Hugh, the seventies called, they want their opinions back.” snorted Annie.

Hugh realised he was making a mess of this, he was trying to make light conversation to find out more about her but was managing to either threaten to expose or insult her instead and Knox was prowling in his head, frustrated that Hugh didn’t just throw her in the car and take her home.

“I’m sorry.” he stammered, “That came out wrong, I’m just curious why you don’t live with your pack.”

He saw the colour rise slightly in her cheeks. “There was nothing there for me so I left.” she answered cryptically.

“What pack are you from?” she asked, changing the subject.

“I’m a Delta from the Reiver Pack.”

“What’s your special duty then?” enquired Annie, keeping her face passive.

“Reckoner.” he replied. “Accountant, investor, I take care of the pack's finances.” he added when he saw her frown, assuming she didn’t know what a Reckoner was.

“I thought you were going to say private detective or something considering you found out my name and where I live.” said Annie, lifting the glass of amber liquid to her lips.

This totally threw Hugh off kilter, he hadn’t thought of a story to explain how he had found her and he could hardly tell her the truth without looking like a stalker. “I asked the omega who took care of you at the wedding.” improvised Hugh.

“I wasn’t aware he had my address.” she countered watching him over the rim of her glass.

Crap, she got him with that one, she was smart. “Well, he got it for me somehow, so, what do you do for a living?” replied Hugh hoping to rapidly change the subject and reminded himself that he wasn’t meant to know anything about her.

“What very efficient omegas you have.” she looked at Hugh suspiciously. “I teach history at the university here.” she answered placing her glass back on the table.

“Human history?” asked Hugh.

“Yes, of course, if I taught our history it would be all pitchforks and lighted torches, remember?”

“Do you like it here, living in the human world, I mean you have to hide yourself, pretend to be one of them?” asked Hugh, glancing at the humans in the bar.

“Yes I do, humans and wolves are not so different, I love my job and I worked hard to get where I am, in the human world, no one gives a damn what gender their professor is.” she answered icily, not liking his attitude towards humans.

An awkward silence settled between them until Hugh, pushed by Knox blurted,

“Will you miss it when you move to be with me?”

Annie stared at him with disbelief. “When I what? You looked at me with horror and disgust when we met and then left without a word, what the hell makes you think I’m going to move or do anything with you?”

“Well that is the way of these things isn’t it?” asked Hugh. He was getting a bad feeling that he had just said something insensitive again, he was no good with this stuff, it was why he preferred numbers to people, numbers were so much easier to deal with. This wasn’t going the way he had hoped and he didn’t know how to put it right. “I mean, we are mates so I just thought...”

“Let me get this straight,” snapped Annie cutting him off. “You think I’m going to just leave my job, my house, my friends and everything I love and cherish to live with you in the Highlands, what would you have me do there exactly, wait for you to get home with your supper on the table, fetch you your slippers and be available for whenever you feel like a f**k, is that what you think?”

There was a moments silence from Hugh, then he answered “Well, I don’t see any other way, do you? The Goddess chooses a mate for us, her decision is law.” said Hugh confidently, he sounded like a religious nut to Annie.

“Well how about this,” Annie was furious at his out-dated assumptions, keeping her temper and her voice down she asked, “What about you, would you give up everything you love and hold dear and move here with me?”

Hugh’s face fell, the thought of moving away from his children hurt his heart.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m not the compliant little she-wolf you are looking for, as for the mate bond being law, let me tell you, it’s not and I should know. Thanks for the drink.” spat Annie, draining her glass. She stood and picked up her coat. His scent was assaulting her and she couldn’t think straight, she was a mess of anger and confusion, it was suffocating and she needed to think. Yes, she wanted happiness, but not at the expense of her freedom and independence, and she most certainly didn’t want to be stuck with a misogynistic dinosaur either.

“Where are you going?” said Hugh, startled at this sudden turn of events.

“You said one drink then you’d leave me alone.” she retorted.

“Wait, please Annie, don’t leave, look, I’m sorry. I’ve been alone for a long time, I have no idea how to do this, please sit down.” He tried to grab her hand but Annie stepped out of reach. She had heard about the connection a wolf would feel when they touched their mate and she didn’t want anything else to cloud her judgement.

“Tell her about us.” suggested Knox.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t been having the dreams too, I know you must have.” said Hugh, he saw her cheeks colour and he knew she had. “Look, let you tell me about myself,” he said desperately, “You might understand why I left the wedding, please sit.” he indicated to her chair.

Annie hesitated, “Give him a chance.” Sabine encouraged. Annie could feel that Sabine was becoming smitten with this wolf with his old-fashioned values. She sighed and sank into her seat. Hugh went to get more drinks while Annie hung her coat over the back of the chair once more. When Hugh came back to the table Annie remained silent, waiting for him to speak.

“I did have a mate,” he started, “We met when we were very young, just out of high school. The next thing I knew we were both nineteen and expecting our first pup. I took over from my father before my twentieth birthday, just as our son, Lennox was born. A year and a half later, our daughter Lyall was born. When Lennox was five and Lyall three, some rogues wandered onto our territory. My mate, Aisling had just taken our pups to nursery and had decided to take her wolf for a run in the glens when she ran into some rogues. I don’t think these rogues realised they were on Reiver territory to be honest, so when Aisling ran into them, they attacked her. They killed her of course, she was a good fighter but she didn’t stand a chance with that many of them. We didn’t find her body for two days, I had to tell the kids that she had died in an accident, I didn’t want them to know their mum had been raped and dismembered, how could I tell them that? Myself and the pack hunted the rogues down and killed them, all of them, but from that day I vowed that I would always be true to Aisling.”

Annie looked horrified. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” she breathed.

“I threw myself into work and bringing up the pups with the help of the omegas. They have turned out really well,” he said, pride radiating out of his face. “Lennox is almost ready to take my position, he and his mate have a pup and Lyall met her mate a few years ago and lives in the next village with their daughters.”

Annie noticed how his face changed when he talked about his children, his eyes lit up and shone, his features softened. She unexpectedly found herself smiling, “It must have been hard bringing them up alone.”

“Some of it is a bit of a blur to be honest, the omegas were incredible, I couldn’t have done it without them. It made us close though, I’ll say that.”

Annie really was lost for words, what an awful thing to happen to a young family.

“I’m sorry about running off at the wedding, it was just..” he paused, glanced at Annie to gauge her reaction and took a breath before continuing, “I didn’t know the Goddess even gave people like me a second chance, it just took me by surprise and I suppose I panicked. I was worried about how my kids would react too, you know, them thinking I was replacing their mum, it felt like a betrayal to her memory.” he smiled a sad smile, “I’m not sure Lyall even remembers her mother, she was so young.” He fell silent lost in his own thoughts for a few seconds. “I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to think that when I left the wedding like I did that had anything to do with you, because it didn’t, truly.” He paused, then asked,

“Could you explain something about what you said before?”

Annie nodded, “Yes, of course.” clearing her throat and finally finding her voice, her emotions in turmoil. She felt sad for this man and clouded by her own past experiences she had judged him without even considering there could be reasons behind his bizarre behaviour.

“You said that you of all people know the mate bond is not binding, what did you mean by that?”

“Oh, well, yeah,” said Annie becoming flustered. After hearing what Hugh had been through, her story didn’t seem that important anymore.

Hugh noticed a blush stain her cheeks, she seemed uncomfortable and worrying he had unknowingly insulted her again, he gently said,

“You don’t have to tell me, I shouldn’t have asked.”

Annie felt Sabine brace herself. “Tell him Annie, he told us his story, we should tell ours. If he doesn’t understand then he is not the wolf for us.” encouraged Sabine.

Annie steeled herself and put a passive expression on her face, “No, it’s ok. I have been rejected, not once but twice.” As she said the words she realised she had never, in twenty years ever said those words out loud. To do so lifted a weight she didn’t know she was carrying off her shoulders. The twenty years of shame that she had been dragging around with her fell away, why had she felt shame? The shame didn’t belong to her, it wasn’t hers to carry, it belonged to the mates who had rejected her.

Hugh’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, he didn’t know someone could survive that once, never mind twice. He realised that this was a strong woman he was mated with, stronger than any Reiver woman he knew.

“The first time was when I was sixteen, on my birthday to be exact. I walked into school one morning and the most popular boy in my year rejected me in front of the whole school with his friends laughing and goading him on. I wasn’t one of the popular girls you see, I was the studious one and he was sleeping with his girlfriend, she was one of the beautiful people by the way.” Annie took a breath, “It took me a year to recover from that one and my wolf was weakened for a while, but we got through it though with the help of my family,” tears pricked her eyes at the memory of the humiliation. “The second time, I was twenty, I went to the Moon Ball with my family in Cumbria, there was a wolf there who rejected me as soon as he saw me. He already had pups with his girlfriend and didn’t want a mate complicating his already complicated life. His girlfriend laughed as I crumpled into a heap in my ball gown, needless to say I’ve not attended a Moon Ball since. I almost lost my wolf that time, it was a long recovery but I did it.” Annie finished and looked at Hugh. “So as you can imagine, I don’t have much faith in the mate bond.” Annie drained her glass, “Do you want another?” she asked.

Hugh nodded and stood up but Annie stopped him “No, it’s ok, I’ll get these.” she said, motioning him to sit down and had grabbed her bag and gone to the bar before he could argue. Hugh was stunned, how could anyone reject this woman? He wondered what had happened to the wolves that had rejected her, he was fairly sure that they were not doing as well as she. It was rumoured that rejecting a mate hurt the wolf of the one doing the rejecting, not just the one who was rejected. The shame always seemed to fall on the rejected though, he could see the obvious injustice in that. Hugh tried to imagine how he would have felt if someone had rejected one of his pups, the thought made him angry.

Annie arrived back at the table and sat down and placed a glass in front of Hugh.

“So that’s why you live in the human world?” he asked.

Annie nodded.

“You’ve always been alone?”

Annie knew what he was asking and thought she might as well be honest. “No, I’ve had a few relationships, all long-lasting, until it all ended in tears of course.” she frowned, staring into her glass as she swirled the liquor around.

“With humans?” Hugh raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, the wolves weren’t interested remember, but they all ended when they wanted children. I couldn’t have a child with a human and run the risk that they exploded into a wolf when they turned fifteen could I? So whenever they mentioned wanting a child, I would have to end it whether I wanted to or not.”

“Oh, yeah, I can see how that would be difficult.” said Hugh angry that fate had dealt her a bad hand in life that she had no control over.

“Do you know what happened to the wolves that rejected you?”

“Only the second one, at the Moon Ball about two years later, my parents saw the girlfriend, she had apparently found her true mate. It seems once she met him, she didn’t think twice about her boyfriend or pups and went off with him, so I guess that’s what we call Karma.” said Annie with an ironic smile.

“He didn’t come and find you?”

“No, I had left Yorkshire by then anyway.” said Annie, sipping her drink.

“So you still have your wolf, can you shift?”

Annie considered her words carefully, should she tell him that he almost killed her wolf, or lie? She decided on the truth.

“Yes, I have my wolf, after I met you she went dormant, not dead just inactive, there’s only so much a wolf can take and my wolf has had more damage done to her than most. I had to go to a henge and pray to the Goddess to return her to me, the Goddess thankfully listened to my prayers, my wolf was returned and now she is stronger than ever.”

“A what?” asked a confused Hugh.

“Henges, stone circles, the humans think they were built by ancient humans but they are wrong, they were built by our ancestors. They don’t chart the sun, they chart the moon. On the full moon, some of them in certain places are very powerful, they have magical properties.” Annie wondered if Hugh had ever read a book in his life or just did calculus or whatever he did. “There’s one not far from here. I went last night and the Goddess listened to my prayers and returned my wolf. I haven’t had time to go for a run yet but she feels strong enough to shift again.”

“I almost killed your wolf?” Hugh looked horrified and Knox was growling with displeasure.

“Well, yes, you did, not just you to be fair, the other two are just as responsible.” Annie answered honestly.

“I don’t know what to say.” replied Hugh staring at her. He marvelled at how strong this woman was as he became lost in her blue eyes, she somehow survived everything that life threw at her. She didn’t need anything, relied on no one. Hugh realised that he wasn’t going to be able to force Annie into being with him, he didn’t want to either, he wanted her to choose to be with him. She was a very independent and self-sufficient person. He knew from her file that she financially supported herself and apart from a small inheritance she had received once her parents died, everything she owned she had worked and paid for herself. He felt like a piece of s**t for hurting her wolf but the stone circle thing amazed him, he had never heard of such a thing. He decided she probably knew about these things with her being a historian, but still, to find a way to ask the Goddess for something and have it granted was incredible. He only had a vague idea of his own pack’s history, what he’d learned in school and basically, at the time, he thought history was boring.

“Well, I have work tomorrow so I better go.” said Annie looking at her watch.

“Have one more before you go?” asked Hugh, he was not ready to let her go just yet. Annie nodded, so Hugh stood and walked across the room towards the bar. Annie watched him go noting how his broad shoulders filled his shirt in all the right places, how his suit trousers fitted his slim waist perfectly and she liked the grace in the way he moved. He might be an accountant but he was clearly trained and kept himself in good shape. Sabine was drooling at the sight too. Annie made sure she had stopped ogling by the time he turned to walk back to their table.

“I have to go back to Scotland tomorrow morning, but I can come back next weekend and I was wondering if you would go to dinner with me?” asked Hugh once he had sat down.

“Oh, ok.” replied Annie slowly, “Would you like me to book a table somewhere?”

“Anywhere you like.” he replied nodding. “Saturday ok for you?”

“Sure.” agreed Annie nodding.

“I will call you later in the week to confirm, I’ll book a room here before I leave.”

“You’ll need my number then.” said Annie rummaging through her bag for her card.

Hugh realised he’d almost slipped up again. “Yeah of course, I was going to ask for that.” he improvised. He took her card and slipped it into his breast pocket. Little did Annie know that all her numbers and email were already stored in Hugh’s phone. Once they finished their drinks, Annie stood and started to put her coat on.

“I’ll give you a lift home.” said Hugh, searching his trouser pockets for his keys.

“No you won’t, you’ve been drinking.” chuckled Annie.

“Give me a second to grab my jacket, I’ll walk with you.”

Before she could argue, Hugh had stalked across the room and disappeared up the stairs towards the hotel’s rooms. She waited patiently as the barman walked around collecting the empty glasses.

“Do you think he will kiss us?” whispered Sabine like a love-sick teenager.

“Shsssh Sabine, I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.” admonished Annie, she couldn’t help smiling though.

Hugh soon reappeared. “Do I look suitably human?” he smirked.

“You’ll do.” answered Annie, smirking back.

The walk home was no more than ten minutes and Hugh animatedly chatted about his pups, telling her about his grandkids and how he hoped that one of Lennox’s sons would take the place of Reckoner when he came of age.

“It might be Lyall’s daughter rather than Lennox’s son.” Annie pointed out, giving him a sideways glance.

“We aren’t as modern in that kind of thinking as other packs.” Hugh admitted. “You may be right though.”

“Someone has to drag you lot into this century kicking and screaming at some point you know.” replied Annie.

By this time, they had reached Annie’s front door.

“Well, thank you Hugh, I had a nice time. It was nice to talk wolf things for a change.”

He was going to reply but was distracted by how she said his name. It was the first time she had used it and he liked how it sounded when she did.

“Until next weekend then.” he said, and bidding her goodbye, he watched her let herself into her house and only when the door was shut and he heard the lock fall into place did he turn to leave.

“You should have claimed her.” growled Knox.

“No I shouldn’t, she needs time.” replied Hugh grinning, walking back to his hotel feeling like he was floating.