December 10
OMG––I'm absolutely hyperventilating right now. I had been going along like everything is hunky-dory and blatantly ignoring the fact that whatever holiday Gus is leaving on is quickly approaching. I guess some naïve and eternally optimistic side of me was secretly hopeful that when the time came, he wouldn't want to go.
He just made an offhanded comment about heading home "in a few weeks." I came outside with my journal to hide and cry, but I'm so upset that I can barely breathe. The pressure relief of tears is not a possibility right now. I'm too distraught for my body to function properly.
How could I be so dumb? This was the deal all along. He didn't mislead me. He was upfront about his impending departure from the very beginning.
Why did I let myself fall so hard for hi
