Curse of the Blue Blood Moon

Chapter 2: Building Pressure

    After training, my siblings and I headed back up the hill to the pack house. The house has always made me feel a sense of pride in our pack - it was designed by my great-grandfather in the classic style of a mountain lodge. Four stories of polished, dark wood poles support the steep pitch of the green tiled roof. Basically, imagine a massive, dressed-up version of a log cabin and you’ve got it. 

    The pack house, and our whole territory around it, is secluded in deep forest in a valley between towering mountains. Very little of the forest has been cleared away; we only take trees down as needed for new housing or buildings, and even then my dad has been strict on trying to save as many trees as possible in the process. Silvermoon Pack has always lived in harmony with this forest, and I plan on keeping up that tradition. I certainly hope my mate and I see eye to eye on that. I’m sure we would. The Moon Goddess would never pair me with someone who wouldn’t be perfectly in sync with me and running the pack as Alpha and Lunar. I’m sure whoever he is will be the perfect Lunar for me. And hopefully handsome to boot.

    “Daydreaming about your mate again?” Illyria teased, poking me in the ribs.

    I blushed. It was becoming a pretty frequent thing that no matter what I started off thinking about, my thoughts drifted to my future mate.

    “Am I that obvious?” I asked.

    “Yeah. Your eyes get all soft, and sometimes you start humming,” she said, making a grossed out face.

    “It is pretty gross,” Birnam chimed in, “especially since finding your mate really shouldn’t be at the top of your priorities list. Dad wants to retire. You should be focusing on getting ready to take over.”

    “And how am I supposed to take over without a Lunar? What if he’s not from our pack? It’s not like I can take a break from being Alpha to go looking for him.”

    “That’s what all the balls and festivals and stuff are for. Mom and Dad didn’t find each other til they were in their twenties. It’ll happen. But taking over the pack takes way more prep and effort, so that’s where you gotta focus. Dipshit,” on the last word Birnam smacked me on the back of the head.

    “Whatever, jackass,” I laughed, reaching up and flicking his face. We quickly devolved into playful smacking, slapping, and messing with each other’s hair while calling each other names. Our mom refers to it as “dysfunctional affection” and it’s been our thing since basically forever.

    Illyria reached the backdoor before us as we were pretty engrossed in messing with each other. I was in the process of trying to climb up his side to get my hair tie back as he held it above his head when she loudly cleared her throat, calling our attention. Dad had just pulled the sliding door open and was standing beside her. He raised an eyebrow and quickly I got back on my feet and Birnam handed me my hair tie. We both cast our eyes down.

    “That sort of behavior won’t earn you much respect as an Alpha, Elsinore Willow Winters. I’m glad you and your brother have such a close relationship, but you need to start taking yourself more seriously. I frankly wish you’d started long ago.”

    I hung my head. “Sorry sir.”

    Dad glanced down at Illyria, close to his side. “And what were you doing out at the training grounds this morning?” he asked, a much more playful tone slipping into his words.

    Illyria looked up at him with big innocent eyes. “Just watching, daddy.”

    Dad chuckled and crouched to scoop her up, easily bringing her to sit on his shoulders. “Just watching indeed. I may have to talk with Mr. Baird about all the ‘watching’ you’ve been doing.” He turned and headed inside.

    “Daaaaaad…”

    I went to follow them in, but Birnam caught my arm and stopped me. “He’s right though. I’m sorry I started it.”

    I rolled my eyes. “It’s fine. He’s just being uptight.”

    Birnam seemed to search my face, worry creasing his brow. I turned and headed inside. I knew there was plenty to worry about when it came to me taking over as Alpha, but I couldn’t focus on it. Anytime I did, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. All the training, the expectations, the sheer amount of work it would all take… it was just too much. Frankly, daydreaming about my future mate was way easier, and way more fun.

    I followed my dad and sister to the Alpha’s dining room. We usually had our breakfasts there as a family, since it was a little more private and cozy. Mom was already there, helping Francis, the Omega who usually served our meals, set the table. They were also having their usual playful morning argument of “it’s not right for the Luna do housework vs. the Luna can help out anywhere she wants to”. Francis was a much older man and very traditional, but he had long since stopped actually putting up resistance when my mom helped out. That didn’t stop him from at least gently trying to still say his opinion on the matter. 

    “Luna Marianna, please, the table is set; will you now sit so I may serve your breakfast? I assure you I do not need your assistance. Do sit with your family and I will bring your tea.”

    Mom let out a heavy, overblown sigh, glancing over to us and winking. “Oh fine Francis, you win.” She then sat at one end of the table, exaggeratedly pretending to be grumpy.

    “Luna Marianna, I did not mean to offend - “

    “No no, it’s fine Francis, I’ll just sit here and be useless.”

    “But madam - “

    “It’s fine!”

    Francis looked up towards the ceiling in a pleading sort of way before he headed back to the kitchen, smiling to himself. I loved the kind of relationship my mom had with the Omegas. As Luna she was responsible for all of them, providing jobs, overseeing disputes, and ensuring they were always treated fairly. They all trusted her implicitly, and she’d gotten to know each of them so well she had these sorts of inside-jokes with all of them. As she put it, she liked to “lead with laughter”. I knew they would miss her deeply as Luna once she and dad retired.

    I wish I looked more like my mom. She has a beautiful, heart-shaped face with a long slender nose and high, round cheekbones. Her skin is darker and richer than mine, and she has these amazing dark eyes that sparkle when she laughs.

    Dad went over to the table, set Illyria down, and swooped over to envelop mom in a passionate kiss. I blushed and looked away. While I appreciated that they were still so passionately in love, I didn’t really want to watch evidence of it. I sat next to Illyria and we rolled our eyes together, making her giggle. 

    Eventually dad went and sat at the other end of the table and Francis brought out breakfast. Just as Illyria had asked for on my behalf, there were fresh blueberry muffins in a large basket. I quickly demolished five of them as my family chatted about the morning and plans for the day. I was deciding whether or not to have a sixth when…

    “Elsinore? Are you listening to me?”

    I snap out of my food focus to see mom staring at me with her lids half lowered in an expression that just screamed ‘really?’.

    “Sorry mom. What were you saying?”

    “I said you still have your lessons with the Sages today. I asked Vincent to swing by and take you over to the temple so you’re not late this time.”

    “What?! But tomorrow’s my birthday! I still have prepping to do for the party!”

    “Which I told you to do weeks ago, so now you’ll have to figure it out around your lessons.”

    “Can’t I take a break? I already passed the exam on The Tome, I’ve been in the pack hospital working with the doctors three times this week. Can’t I have a day off?”

    “The Goddess told me to prepare you for everything. You’re still a long way from mastering everything you need. Your birthday and the party are your time off; today you still need to go to your lessons.”

    “There’s no way I can master everything, that’s ridiculous!”

    “The Goddess’ will is not ridiculous!” Mom said, and her tone had lost its laughter. I looked back down at my plate. My mom is, and always has been, very pious. Even before her vision the night of my birth. She was High Sage at her old pack before moving here to be dad’s Luna. My piety to the Goddess is basically the only thing we ever fight about.

    “The Goddess spoke to me directly to tell me how to guide you and what you need to aid her. She said she needs you. You are The Blessed, and you have to be ready. If you’re lucky, you will commune with her tomorrow night and ask her for further guidance. Until then, you will still go by the words I was told.”

    “Yes ma'am.”

    Mom turns back to her food and the table is quiet. I glance at dad and he’s looking at me sternly too. Illyria pats my leg under the table, and Birnam gives me a pitying half-smile. 

    We ate in silence for a few tense minutes before mercifully Vincent arrived. As soon as I saw him I got up and said a quick goodbye before booking it out of the room. As I passed him, Vincent gave me a confused look, but I didn’t say anything. I all but ran to the front door and out the pack house. 

    The expanse of trees outside calls to me and all I want to do is run. I want to claw at the earth or race up a tree or howl or roar or something. There’s just this awful pressure in my chest that demands I let it out, but I know if I’m loud everyone inside will still hear me. Tears start streaming down my face and I cover my mouth, trying to muffle the sobs and screams. I collapse behind a large pine across the road from the front doors, trying to hide from any potential prying eyes.

    My whole life she’s been saying s**t like that. “The Goddess told me…” “You have to be ready…” “The Goddess needs you…” I love my mom so much but it’s just too much pressure! It would be enough if I was just trying to get ready for being Alpha, but this whole being The Blessed thing on top of it is just crushing. I’ve been training for my whole life to be a warrior, a doctor, a sage, a scholar… and frankly I don’t think I’m good at any of it. Fighting? I keep accidentally hurting people. Doctor? I can’t remember half the things the pack doctors try to teach me. It’s like it goes in one ear and out the other, no matter what I do. Sage? My powers are so spotty. Sometimes I can feel some kind of magic inside me, and sometimes I can’t. When it is there, I can’t seem to command it like the other sages do. Scholar? Were and human history bores me to tears. I fall asleep in most of my lessons. I mean, isn’t there a phrase for this? “Jack of all trades, master of none”? How can I master so many different things at the same time?! I’m not smart or strong or talented enough for any of it! I’m just a half transformed freak with no friends. If it wasn’t for my siblings and Vincent, I would never have anyone close to my age to talk to. 

    But soon I’ll have my fated mate. Everyone gets one. Everyone. I’ll finally have someone who just loves me. Doesn’t expect big things from me, or demand things I can’t do. Someone who will accept me as I am. He won’t mind my wolf features. Maybe he’ll even love them. He’ll tell me I’m beautiful and hold me like he never wants to let go. And I’ll feel that kind of glow and warmth like I see my parents have with each other, and I’ll never want to let him go either.

    I hear a crunch of leaves and twigs and see Vincent standing beside my tree, looking nonchalant as he examines his fingernails.

    “So, was it your dad being a d**k or your mom being a b***h?”

    “My mom’s not a bitch.”

    “Hmm. So it was your mom then.”

    I glare at him. I can tell he’s trying to be funny to try and make me feel better, but I’m just not up for it.

    “It’s the same old song. I’m The Blessed, I have to be ready, dur dee dur. I just… I’m not good at anything. I’m a mess. And I’ve tried telling them and they just…” I wave my hands desperately, lost for words.

    “They’re caught up seeing your potential instead of seeing you.” He slides down the tree to sit next to me on the ground, and I move my tail to make space for him. “They’re scared, Elsie.”

    I looked at him sharply. My parents weren’t afraid of anything. Vincent put out a hand placatingly.

    “What I mean is, all the older folks who were there that night were scared. My parents talk about it sometimes when they think I can’t hear. Wolves went mad, and your dad had to kill a lot of his own packmates to save your mom. And then you happened, and your mom told the whole pack how the Goddess had blessed you, and how you would be needed by the Goddess herself. Everyone who was there was f*****g terrified, and just sort of had to take her word for it, your dad included. Some of them straight up told their pups to steer clear of you just so as to not distract you from...well, getting ready. Others think the whole thing was a curse put on you. But you know what my dad said? He said, ‘My brother is going to put a lot on her, and she’s going to need someone to lean on.’ I know he and my mom fought about it a lot, but I agree with my dad. Uncle Benedict put a lot on you, and Aunt Marianna too. You gotta be gentle with yourself. Cause it seems like no one else is.”

    I listened as Vincent spoke. We’d been close since we were little, but we didn’t talk this seriously often. Usually he was so flippant and sarcastic. When he flipped this switch, I knew to take him seriously. 

    This was the first time I’d heard the story laid out so plainly though. It had never occurred to me that my parents pushing me like this could have such a simple explanation. But it made sense. They were scared for me. The thought made me absolutely terrified.

    “What am I supposed to do though? What if I talk to the Goddess tomorrow night and I’m not good enough?”

    “If she set it up so you go through all this and then she turns around and says you’re not good enough, I say f**k her. I’ll make my own religion. With blackjack. And hookers!”

    I laughed out loud at that. He knows I’m a sucker for a good Futurama reference. He smiled broadly at me and stood, offering me a hand. I grabbed it and he helped me up.

    “For now, let’s get to the temple. Might as well stay on your mom’s good side for as long as we’re still in this religion.”

    I nod and we head off, trading Futurama quotes and laughing as much as we can, while we can.