Silenced

From Foster Care to Adoption

Okay, we're done in here Officer Thomas, you can take her back to her cell," Trish said to the tall, lanky officer that stood outside of the interrogation room.

She reached down and grabbed her blue coffee mug as she stood up from the table. Picking it up by the handle, she took one small sip, as her eyes met Anna's once more.

"Anna, I hope you're being truthful,"

"Well isn't that why you're interrogating me, to find out?" Anna said sarcastically.

Trish rolled her eyes a few times in annoyance, signaling waves of insecurity within Anna,

Why did Trish roll her eyes at me?! And with such disgust? Does she think I'm a liar?!

Anna jolted at the thought of being made a liar, but she couldn't help the fact that, due to her mental illness, some memories were erased, in which she knew she would never get back.

Trish turned her back and walked out of the room. The click-clacking sound of her heels evaporated into the distance.

Anna sat there, waiting for Officer Thomas to take her back to her cell, she pondered on what Trish thought of her,

Trish has to know I'm not a liar, she knows me better than that.

Officer Thomas grabbed Anna by her elbow, gently lifting her up from out of the chair she sat in. Anna looked up at him with sullen eyes, dreading the fact that she'd have to go back to that claustrophobic, dark and dingy cell. She hated it.

Once inside her cell, Officer Thomas removed her cuffs. Anna walked to her cot and plopped down on it. She felt the wire springs of the cheap jailhouse cot dig into her back. She hoped they wouldn't break through the mattress at any moment and stab into her skin. Resting her head on a small cotton pillow, Anna began to reminisce on her life.

*****

Anna's POV

The very first day I met the Castle's, my adoptive parents, was the happiest day of my life.

My social worker had picked me up from yet another one of my foster care homes. I was one of ten foster kids in that home and life was stressful; actually it was horribly stressful. My foster siblings fought with me often, shoving me against the walls, pushing me down on the playground at school and calling me names like, "stupid" and "dumb ass", I guess I was the girl that everybody wanted to pick on. Then one lovely day I was saved, by my social worker Ms. Shackelford. She came knocking at our door, rescuing me from the daily torment and hell that I lived in. She was like a a magical angel in the night.

Knock! Knock!

"Who the hell is that?! I'm not expecting any company!" My overweight foster mother exclaimed in between large bites of twinkies. She patted her stringy strands of oily hair, making sure her hair was neatly in place. She hurriedly threw her twinkie in the garbage and walked over to the stove. She removed the pasta from off of the stove top, accidently spilling hot pasta sauce on her hand, she yelped in pain.

"Darn it! Damn sauce burned my hand!" She then proceeded to wipe her hands against her dark gray shirt exposing her big, round belly. Finally, she made her way to the front door; she swung it wide open. To her surprise, it was Ms. Shackelford, the county social worker. My foster mom put on her fake smile and began to talk from one of her made up, fake personalities. My twelve year old self watched in disgust as lies dropped from her mouth like venom spewing from a snake.

"Hi, Donna. How's Adria...Adrianna?... wait, hold on. Let me check my papers," Ms. Shackelford had obviously forgotten my name. She bent down and reached into her black suitcase, pulling out a yellow piece of paper, she began mumbling to herself. The county must give the social workers an overwhelming caseload of foster kids to manage.

"Anna Diaz!" Ms. Shackelford said in extreme confidence. You would've thought she just answered one of the toughest mathematics questions ever, "Yes, that's her name, Anna Diaz," she continued as she nodded her head.

"How is she doing?" Ms. Shackelford asked.

"Anna is not a nice girl. She's been giving me a ton of problems, so I'm more than happy to return her to you," My foster Mom replied, but those were total lies, she just wanted to get rid of me. If anything, I was the best child in the whole house- my grades were good and I was well behaved, but if she wanted to get rid of me, fine! I was living in a hell hole anyways.

My foster mother packed the little bit of clothes I had and sent me off with Ms. Shackelford.

We walked to Ms. Shackelford's county vehicle, a white Buick with the words Monterey Shore County sprawled across the drivers side door. I opened the large door and sat on the tan leather seat. I strapped myself in and waited for Ms. Shackelford to do the same.

She then started the car so we could go back to the orphanage, where I would stay until someone decided to take me in.

I watched the large oak trees in the distance as we drove down the street. I watched the birds as they flew in the sky and chirped while sitting on the tree branches. The tree leaves flew delicately in the wind, reminding me of my earliest childhood years when I went up into the country to go cherry picking with my first set of foster parents, the Johnson's. Every year we would drive up the northen Californian coast, to Yuba county and pick cherries off of the trees. My foster siblings and I would eat the cherries and have cherry fights. We'd spit the cherry seeds out of our mouths, then we'd throw them at each other; we had so much fun. That was the best foster family I ever had. I always wished that the Johnson's would've adopted me.

"I have a big surprise for you, Adrianna!" Ms. Shackelford said with a smile.

She got my name wrong again. I looked up at her in disappointment from the passenger seat in the car.

She then looked down at me with her big green eyes. I couldn't help but to look at her big, frizzy dark brown mane. Her smile immediately disappeared.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"My name is Anna," I corrected her as I rolled my eyes in annoynace, "Not Adrianna."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, Anna, that's right!"

Her smile immediately returned, "I have a great surprise for you!"

"What is it?" I asked unenthusiastically.

"There's a wonderful couple here from Monterey Shore and they want to adopt you!" Ms. Shackelford said in excitement.

"What?!" I asked anxiously, "A couple wants to adopt ME?!" I couldn't believe it. It was a dream come true. All my life, that's all I ever wanted was to be adopted. I blew out my birthday candles every year wishing to be adopted. I prayed every Christmas for the gift of adoption. It was happening. It was really happening.

But my happiness didn't last long. Soon after I moved in with the Castles, I started experiencing the highs and lows of Bipolar disorder and voices continuously plagued my thoughts. My mom took me to see a doctor whom then referred me to a psychiatrist. My psychiatrist, Dr. Stevens, diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Life changed drastically from then on.