The Alpha’s Rejected Mate

14

CASPIAN

I took another breath, then another. The pain had not disappeared, but I could stand. I could think. I could still give orders and understand what was happening around me. That meant I was in control.

"See?" I said. "There is nothing to worry about."

A muscle moved in Ethan's jaw.

"With all due respect, Caspian, I call bullshit. You shouldn't be handling this alone."

"I am not alone. You're here, and the guards are outside." I said coldly.

"You know that's not what I mean."

He hesitated, looking like he was choosing his next words carefully. That, more than anything, told me he was about to say something I wouldn't like.

"Perhaps we should restrain you before it gets worse."

I wasn't certain I had heard him correctly for a second.

"Restrain me?" I repeated.

"Only until the episode passes."

I stared at him. He didn't look away, although I could see the unease in his expression.

"We could use chains," he continued. "Secure them around your wrists and ankles so you can't hurt anyone even if you lose control. We can remove them as soon as you're stable."

The suggestion hung between us.

Chains.

For a moment, I imagined myself bound to the floor while the people who served me stood around watching, waiting for the mighty Alpha Caspian Blackwood to regain enough control to be released.

The humiliation alone was enough to make my wolf snarl.

"No."

"Caspian…"

"I said no." I said coldly, but calm.

Ethan's shoulders stiffened, but he continued to hold my gaze.

"I'm only trying to prevent the worst from happening."

"And I'm telling you that the worst will not happen."

"You can't be sure of that!"

The words struck harder than they should have.

I stepped toward him, making sure he understood that he was speaking to his Alpha, not a frightened man who needed someone else to make his decisions.

"You think I cannot control my own wolf?"

"That's not what I said."

"Then choose your next words carefully."

Ethan fell silent.

I should have been satisfied. He had challenged me and I had put him in his place, and the matter should have ended there.

Instead, the pain in my back returned, and this time it spread through my shoulders and down my arms. My fingers curled involuntarily and Ethan noticed immediately. Of course he noticed.

He took a cautious step closer, then stopped when I lifted my head.

"Don't come any closer."

He obeyed, but his face had grown grim.

I turned away from him, furious at the weakness my body was beginning to reveal. I had refused Eleanor's help because I didn't need it. I had come to this room because I was going to prove that I could handle this without her. I wouldn't let a few minutes of pain destroy that decision.

Even when the urge to shift became overwhelming, there had always been some part of him that recognized my authority, but everything was just useless now.

A sudden wave of pressure built behind my eyes, and my nails began to lengthen against my will. I stared at my hands, watching the change spread across my fingertips. For the first time since I had changed my mind, uncertainty crept into my thoughts.

This wasn't supposed to happen so fast, my wolf was already pushing harder than he usually did. It felt like he had decided that my authority meant nothing.

I curled my hands into fists, hiding the sharp edges of my nails from Ethan.

"Caspian?"

"Be quiet."

I concentrated on my breathing again. The room seemed warmer than before, and every small sound grated against my nerves. I could hear the guards shifting outside the door, the faint movement of Ethan's clothes as he adjusted his stance, even the rhythm of his heartbeat. It was too much.

I had never been so aware of everything around me. Every sound and scent seemed to reach me at once, crowding my senses until I could barely separate one from another, and beneath all of it was a maddening emptiness. My wolf prowled restlessly inside me, searching for something I refused to acknowledge.

Eleanor.

The thought came with such clarity that I nearly lost my breath again. I remembered the brief relief I had felt when she stood close to me earlier. The way the pressure beneath my skin had eased before I could understand why. I remembered how quickly the relief had vanished when she left.

My stomach tightened. No. She had no power over me, and I would not start believing otherwise simply because my wolf had become difficult to control.

A sharp, tearing pain ripped through my shoulder and I staggered, catching myself against the nearest table. The wood groaned beneath my grip, and I heard Ethan move.

"Stay back!" I shouted.

He stopped.

I could barely recognize my own voice. It sounded rougher than usual, strained by a growl that seemed to come from somewhere deeper than my chest.

My vision blurred around the edges and I tried to straighten, but my muscles seized. The pain that followed was so intense that my knees nearly buckled, and I had to brace both hands against the table to keep from falling. For several seconds, all I could do was breathe through my clenched teeth.

I would not let this happen. I would not lose control in front of my Beta. I would not become a danger to my own pack. And I would certainly not be forced to depend on an omega who had no business being involved in the affairs of an Alpha.

I dragged in a breath and forced myself upright.

"Do you see?" I said, although my voice shook with the effort. "I can handle it."

Ethan looked at me like he wanted to argue, but the words never came, and I was grateful for it.

I took a step away from the table. Then another. The pain eased for a moment, enough for me to believe I had finally pushed through it. My wolf's growling softened, and I managed to loosen my clenched hands.

Before I could laugh at Ethan's expression, another violent surge of pain tore through my body, and a roar erupted from my throat before I could stop it. I grabbed the edge of the table, but my strength was no longer under my control. The wood splintered beneath my fingers, and the entire piece of furniture tipped sideways and struck the floor with a deafening crash.

Ethan flinched and I barely registered the sound. My wolf was no longer content to pace inside me. He was fighting, clawing at the control I had always taken for granted, and every attempt to force him back seemed to make him angrier.

I stumbled away from the broken table and struck the wall with my fist. The impact should have hurt, instead, the pain already tearing through my body swallowed it completely. Cracks spread across the surface beneath my knuckles, and a deep vibration travelled up my arm.

I stared at the damage. I hadn't meant to do that.

The realization lasted only a second before another growl rose from my chest.

"Caspian, you need to stop!" Ethan shouted.

I turned toward him.

The sight of him standing there, several feet away, only made everything worse. He was watching me with an expression I had never wanted to see on his face.

Fear.

Not the respect a subordinate showed his Alpha. Not the caution he used when approaching me during a difficult moment.

He was afraid of me. Something savage stirred beneath my skin, reacting to the fear in the room like it was a challenge.

I bared my teeth.

"Ethan," I warned, though I wasn't entirely certain what I was warning him against.

He slowly raised his hands, trying to calm me.

"Listen to my voice. You know me. You're in the estate, and no one here wants to hurt you."

His words sounded distant, almost meaningless.

I could hear him, but I couldn't make my mind settle long enough to follow what he was saying. My wolf was too close to the surface, and every second that passed made it harder to distinguish his instincts from my own.

I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted the pressure in my chest to disappear. Most of all, I wanted to silence the part of me that kept searching for Eleanor, because acknowledging that need felt worse than every physical torment my body could produce.

I forced myself to straighten.

"I said I'm in control!"

My voice came out as a growl.

Ethan's expression tightened. "No, you aren't."

The honesty of his answer enraged me and I moved before I could think.