Notes on an Unsaid Love

Chapter 3

“Phoebe!”

I was about to walk away when he called my name. I turned, and froze. There he was, walking toward me. Just like that, my heart picked up its pace, hammering against my chest. I couldn’t look away. Somehow, my eyes were glued to him.

“What?” I raised an eyebrow, trying to sound casual. Trying not to let him see the storm brewing inside me. I couldn’t. I didn’t want him to know. I couldn’t let him know.

“Why are you leaving already? They haven’t even announced the winner yet!” His pout made him look like a child—and, well, he was still a child in some ways.

I didn’t want to tell him I might stay longer. That would only make my feelings worse. That he’d know I… liked him.

“Nothing. Just thought I’d head home for now,” I said.

“Hi, Lennox!” We both turned to see three girls approaching him. One of them even grabbed his arm. I blinked rapidly, my chest tightening.

“Thanks,” he said, a little surprised, but still smiling. “It was just a joke.”

But even joking, I could feel the girl’s hand clinging to his arm. She didn’t intend to let go. And my chest felt tight.

“Oh, he’s so humble,” one of them gushed. “Can we take a picture?”

“Y-yes,” he said, glancing at me. “Phoebe—”

“Don’t wait for me,” I interrupted quickly before he could finish. “I have something to do.”

I saw the confusion in his eyes.

“Huh? It’s just—”

“It’s fine,” I said, forcing a smile, though my chest felt like it was being pierced. “Congrats. You were amazing.”

I turned and walked away before I could crumble.

As I moved through the crowd, their laughter, their joy—it all reached me. And in the middle of all that noise, I felt utterly invisible.

This is the reality, Phoebe, I whispered to myself. You can’t fight it.

I paused and took a deep breath. I thought I could stay friends. I thought I could control my feelings.

But every girl who approached him, every glance he didn’t give me, made it clear: being near him wasn’t enough.

Not when I wasn’t the one he chose.

“Phoebe!”

I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice. I wasn’t supposed to turn, but I was weak when it came to him.

“Are you mad?” he asked, slightly out of breath. “Did I say something wrong?”

I shook my head quickly. “No. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” he said firmly. “You’ve been like this for a while.”

I forced a smile—the kind I used to hide everything. “You’re just… sensitive.”

A silence fell. He studied me, trying to understand, but failing.

“If something’s wrong,” he said finally, softly, “I’m here.”

I nodded. “I know.”

You don’t know that you are the problem, I thought bitterly. You’re too oblivious to see my feelings. And I’m the one losing here.

⸻

I sighed as I opened the classroom door. Lennox glanced in my direction, but I didn’t walk toward him.

“Did you and Lennox fight?” asked one of my classmates, Hailey Kim. She was smart, soft-spoken, stylish—like me, only better.

“No. Just… not in the mood to talk,” I said, and she nodded.

⸻

As I left the classroom, Lennox moved toward me—but Aiden Torres, my boy best friend in Grade 12, intercepted me.

“Phoebe! You promised me a treat!” He raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“You’re ridiculous. One month ago, and you still haven’t forgotten?” I teased.

“Why would I? You promised me,” he said, pinching my cheek playfully. I flinched but smiled.

Then, a presence hit my back. Lennox. I didn’t need to turn to know.

“Aiden, let go,” I whispered, but he didn’t.

“Jealous of your crush?” he joked, grinning knowingly.

“i***t. I don’t have a crush.”

“Sure?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, glancing behind me. “Then why do you flinch every time he’s near?”

I exhaled sharply. “Aiden…”

“Okay, okay,” he laughed, but still didn’t release me. “Treat’s on you—milk tea. Extra pearls.”

I muttered, half annoyed, half amused, “You’re shameless.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lennox—frozen, silent, watching. Not smiling. Not approaching. Just… observing.

And the truth hit me: we were the same.

“Phoebe.”

His voice stopped me in my tracks.

Aiden let go reluctantly, stepping back, but he didn’t leave. Lennox’s gaze stayed fixed on me, calm but intense.

“What?” I asked, forcing my tone to sound normal.

“Did I do something wrong?” His words were direct, serious. No joke. No grin.

I shook my head quickly. “No.”

“Then why do you avoid me?”

The question lingered. One second. Two. Three.

And in that moment, I realized how hard it was to lie to the person you secretly loved.

“I’m not avoiding you,” I said finally. “I just… have my own world right now.”

“And I’m not in it?” he asked suddenly.

My eyes widened. I hadn’t expected that.

Aiden tried to intervene, casual as ever. “Hey, relax. I’ll go first—”

“No,” we both said simultaneously.

We stared at each other. I quickly looked away.

“Phoebe,” Lennox whispered, barely audible, “if something’s wrong… you can tell me.”

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream the truth.

You’re the problem. You’re the reason I’m so tangled. You’re the only one I want, and I can’t have you.

But all I could say was—

“I’m going home.”

I turned before I could break completely.

Behind me, I heard his sharp exhale.

And beside me, Aiden’s voice, low but clear:

“You like him, don’t you?”

I froze.

“Don’t ask,” he added. “I can see it in your eyes.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, Aiden,” I muttered. “You really let anything run through that head of yours.”

He only laughed, shaking his head like I was the ridiculous one.

“The more you ignore it,” he said, grinning, “the worse your feelings get.”

I instinctively glanced around. People were already staring at us. Thank God he didn’t mention Lennox’s name out loud—otherwise, I would’ve murdered this kid on the spot.

“Blah, blah, blah,” I said, covering my ears. “I can’t hear you.”

His laughter followed me as I walked away.

Seriously. That guy was insane. Good thing we were only classmates once in a while. He was driving me crazy.

⸻

I stopped eating when someone suddenly placed an ice cream in front of me.

I raised an eyebrow.

Lennox stood there, looking… oddly apologetic.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “For whatever I did wrong.”

That only made my irritation worse. I didn’t even know why it annoyed me more that he didn’t know what he’d done.

“Seriously, Lennox?” I snapped. “Aren’t you embarrassed? People are already staring at us.”

Instead of leaving, he sat down beside me.

“Why did you stop talking to me?” he asked quietly.

I exhaled and slowly set my spoon down.

“Lennox,” I said, keeping my voice low but firm, “not everything needs a reason.”

“It does to me,” he replied immediately. “You changed all of a sudden.”

I turned to look at him. He was still holding the ice cream he’d offered earlier. No jokes. No smile. Just Lennox—genuinely worried.

That scared me more than his teasing ever did.

“I’m just tired,” I lied.

“You’re not,” he said. “I know you, Phoebe.”

That stopped me cold.

“You only know what I let you see,” I said sharply. “Not everything.”

He went quiet, watching people pass by before looking back at me.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked again.

I laughed—but it was bitter.

“No,” I said. “That’s the problem.”

He frowned. “I don’t get it.”

“Exactly.”

He held out the ice cream again. “Eat it. It’s melting.”

Strawberry.

My favorite.

He always remembered the little things. And that—that was where I always lost.

“Can you just leave me alone for now?” I asked, not meeting his eyes.

A pause.

“If that’s what you want,” he said quietly. “But I’ll come back.”

My eyes closed.

“Don’t,” I said quickly. “You’re just making everything harder.”

“Everything,” he repeated. “Or just you?”

I finally looked at him.

We stared at each other. No words. No retreat.

In the end, he stood up first.

“Take care,” he said. “And eat.”

⸻

I shot him a glare when I caught him peeking at me near the gate.

He was obviously waiting.

What I didn’t understand was why.

We were just friends. There was nothing more to it. No hidden meaning.

At least—that’s what I kept telling myself.

I shook my head and turned to leave.

Then suddenly, he grabbed my wrist.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re leaving me again,” he said, half-whining. “That’s not fair.”

His hand slid down and intertwined with mine.

My eyes widened.

He started walking, pulling me along. Everything around us felt like it slowed down. I could feel the warmth of his palm—steady, real.

Without realizing it, I was already looking at him.

That’s when it hit me.

Lennox was… nice. Genuinely nice.

Maybe that was why I fell for him.

Why did I only notice now? His potential. The way he cared without asking for anything back.

Whoever ended up being his girlfriend someday would be incredibly lucky.

“Get on,” he said.

I hadn’t even realized we’d reached his motorcycle.

I rolled my eyes and climbed on anyway. Of course he already knew where I lived.

The wind rushed past us as the engine hummed. He stayed quiet—no jokes, no teasing. It felt intentional, like he was giving me space to drown in my own thoughts.

I held onto the side of the seat behind him. Not him. I couldn’t. Not yet.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I asked eventually.

“If I do,” he replied calmly, “you’ll just get more annoyed.”

“Too late,” I muttered.

I saw a faint smile in the mirror.

“Phoebe,” he said, serious now. “I didn’t wait at the gate to mess with you.”

“Then why?” I asked.

“To make sure you get home,” he answered. “You always do this—you leave when you don’t want to talk.”

I went quiet.

Annoyingly accurate.

The motorcycle slowed until we stopped in front of my house.

“Okay,” I said quickly as I got off. Too fast. Like I was running.

“Phoebe,” he called before I could leave.

I stopped. Didn’t turn around.

“Did I really do something wrong,” he asked, “or do you just not want me too close?”

The question hit hard. No jokes. No sugarcoating.

“Not all closeness needs a reason,” I said, forcing my voice steady.

“Sometimes… distance does.”

“But I don’t want to stay far away,” he said softly.

I closed my eyes.

“Not everything you want is allowed,” I whispered.

He was quiet for a moment before nodding.

“Got it.”

But I knew he didn’t.

And maybe he never would.

“Goodnight, Phoebe,” he said.

“Goodnight,” I replied, finally stepping through the gate.

I didn’t look back.

But I knew—

He was still standing there, watching.