Young and Deadly

Chapter Five

My breathing comes in short, ragged breaths. I stand in the middle of my bland room, not sure what to do with myself. A knock sounds from my door and it opens.

"Blake, you ran from the car, is everything alright?" Jason peers around my door. Without thinking I throw the closest thing I can reach. With deadly precision it hits his head. "Ow! Why'd you throw your... hair brush, at me?"

"Get out!" I scream as it become frequently harder for me to breathe.

"Okay, okay, okay! I'll go and leave you alone," he put his hands up in an 'I surrender' motion and quickly leaves.

My hands bury themselves in my hair. I can feel myself pull and scratch at my scalp in anger and... sadness? Desperation also fills my blood and a chill of fear runs down my spine. The fear is of myself. Fear of the heartless person I have become. Fear of what I can do. Fear that they'll keep me like one of the men. Fear of having more deaths on my already blood soaked hands.

I went to my bathroom to take a cold shower. The bathroom was a dark blue and the shower was a fancy glass type shower... it all felt so strange, yet fitting for my melancholy mood. The water was set at the lowest temperature it could possibly be set to. Stepping in, my skin began to tingle almost instantly. I didn't leave until my body was completely numb in a painful way. Upon stepping out I was faced with my image. I was repulsed!

I looked... ragged. I snorted. That was so fitting. Blake Reid, the Ragged Girl. With force I didn't know I had, I punched the mirror and it shattered into several pieces. Some were small and others were large. At first I thought it looked beautiful the way they were laying in shattered pieces on the floor, but then I realised what I had done and that I caused the destruction. Always, I always cause destruction no matter where I go. Running from the room, I quickly changed and went outside onto my little balcony in hopes to clear my head and ease my ragged breathing. It was beautiful, the woods that stood about twenty to thirty feet away looked so breath taking. There was a perfect balance of light and fog that seeped through the trees. Everything was breath taking and it made me sick with myself. I noticed my hand was bleeding quite badly. Then I realised that I couldn't care less and the pain was welcome. After all I had caused people more pain than this, right?

A strange noise ripped itself from my lips and I collapsed to the ground. Tears ran hot down my cheeks. I had forgotten how good it feels to cry until tears cannot form any longer. That's exactly what I did too... until I somewhat briefly passed out. Suddenly I was aware of something warm and solid, yet soft beneath me. My eyes slowly slid open with great resistance. Above me sat Jason, looking down at me with wide, alarmed eyes. His arms were wrapped firmly around me and he smoothed my damp hair.

"I-"

"No Blake it's fine. I'm here for you, even if you don't want me to be," his voice was soothing and sweet. Tears I didn't know I still possessed, spilled from my eyes. I turned and buried my face within Jason's chest. How could someone even stand to look at me knowing what I had done? Simple, he'd done similar things.

"Th-thank y-you so m-much J-Jason," I tried to choke out, but it's hard with my emotions so strong that they weighed me down.

"Your welcome Blake." He lifted me and cradled me in his arms. I wasn't entirely sure how long I lay weeping in his arms, but I cried myself out until they were only hiccups. I looked at him as I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, which clearly meant I was hungry. Probably from all the crying and the fact I had only eaten a little of my lunch today didn't help.

"I'm a little hungry, but I don't want Elizabeth to see me like this," my voice was barely above a whisper, but his ear was close enough to my lips so he heard.

"Okay, go lie down and I'll bring something up to you," he lifted me with ease and grace and carried me to my bed where he gently sat me down.

"Thank you so much... for everything," I croaked out. He made me want to cry even more because of how sweet he was being to me. I was a complete wreck and a monster.

"It's no trouble at all. I'll go get you something sweet to drink too, okay?"

"Alright, sound like a good idea," I gave him a weak smile. He gave a small smile back and disappeared. I began to drift off to sleep after waiting for about half an hour, but was gently shaken awake. Instinct kicked in and I punched the intruder, hard.

"Jesus Blake, remind me to never get on your bad side. That hurt like absolute hell!" He held his cheek and tried to massage away the pain I had caused. Yet another person I had hurt. My life was nothing but a mess that I wished would just end. I felt like I might cry again, but tried to withhold.

"I'm so sorry! It's instinct, that's how it's been since I was eight or nine!" I reached out and cupped his cheek. My hand slightly tingled and he froze so I dropped my hand and looked at the food on the little bed side table I had.

"Pork chops, scallop potatoes, corn, biscuit, peaches, and a coke. I hope those are okay," he sounded a little sheepish.

"Of course it is. I'll honestly eat just about anything," I let slip a small giggle. What was wrong with me tonight, a monster shouldn't giggle! I mentally face palmed myself and grabbed one of two identical plates. "Please tell me you're eating too."

"Of course I am... if that's all right. I just didn't want you to eat alone and Elizabeth isn't home to badger me. I really hope that you like it because I made it," he looked embarrassed by the admission.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," I assured him and grabbed my fork and knife to cut a pork chop. I popped it in my mouth and gagged.

"Is it really that bad?" He asked in absolute horror.

I grinned. "Nope, it's actually the best I've ever had, I was just teasing you," I grinned even wider at the shock and relief written on his face. Blake, stop it right now!

"You had me worried for a minute there," he wipped his brow and froze as I was about to take a bite of the potatoes.

"What?" I set my fork down.

"What happened to your hand?" He grabbed my right hand that moments earlier had gripped the fork. I looked down at my blood crusted hand.

"Oh, that? I broke a mirror," I stared into my plate feeling satisfied at the pain I'd soon feel and sadness at the person I was.

"When? How? With what?"

"Um, a few hours ago with my fist...." The look on his face was one of anger and shock.

"Let me go get something to clean that so it doesn't get infected," he sat his plate down and stood.

"First aid and other supplies are in my bathroom in the top drawer closest to the door."

"Okay," he slipped into my bathroom. "Holy hell!"

"What?" I asked when he reemerged.

"Did you take a sludge hammer to that mirror?" He gaped at me.

"No, I already told you that I punched the mirror," I held up my hand to make my point, feeling the need to clarify myself.

"You definitely have a good hit then. I would hate to see what kind of pain you could have caused me by hitting me if your hand wasn't all screwy," he gave an empty, emotionless laugh.

"Just because I'm a girl, doesn't mean I'm a p***y when it comes to throwing punches."

"Of course not, it's just the thought of someone your height, stature, and weight could do that...? It's just down right mind boggling!" he exclaimed and shook his head.

"Thank- You...?"

"Give me your hand," I obeyed. He cleaned off my hand and put some antibacterial stuff on it after clearing me of shards of glass. Then he found bandaging cloth to wrap around my hand. Every touch was so gentle and warm against my skin. Not once was I in pain. I didn't deserve to feel this way! God strike me down now!

"Thanks again," I mumbled. We ate our dinner in silence and I kept catching glances from him. After we each took a swig from our coke's and set the empty plates aside, he spoke out.

"So what happened today?" He asks, timidly.

"I committed yet again another murder," I let out a ragged sigh.

"It wasn't either of Regina's parents was it?" My answer was a shake of the head. "Good!"

My eyes flew to his. "Why good? Isn't that what I'm suppose to do?"

"Of course it is! It's just that... never mind forget it, okay?" He looked at me with pleading eyes. For some reason it relaxed me and I dropped it.

"Okay. Anyway, I killed the guy whose been following me for months. The problem is... I killed him in Luna Park Café," I pressed my lips firmly together and rolled them into my mouth.

"Did anyone see?" He asked nervously.

"No, no one saw. I had a silencer on my gun and all the staff was around back where they couldn't see or hear anything. No one else was inside other than myself and him. When I left, no one was outside in the surrounding area, so I'm good. Well at least I hope I am," I finished all in one breath.

"Good," he gave a curt, satisfied nod.

"I agree," my nod of satisfaction was just as curt as his. Only I wasn't all that satisfied, but I knew it was either kill or be killed at that moment.

"Blake?"

"Hmm?"

"Does every kill have this effect on you?" He grasped my hands firmly in his and searched my eyes.

"Honestly, no. Just the first three did, but none since then. Maybe I was all emotions because of my sister's sudden appearance," I muttered more to myself than to him.

"Sister?" He raises a brow in confusion.

"Yeah, sister. She's actually very famous and looks somewhat like me. Same hair and same eyes, that's about it."

"You shouldn't be one of us then. You should be living with her. Why didn't you go with her? Only orphaned children who show potential become what we are... right?" He asked more to him self than to me.

"By the time I remembered her, I had already started this life. You know as well as I do that once you're in, you aren't out until you're eighteen or you could be kept if you were a girl they'd like to keep or a boy. Boys always stay unlike most of the girls.... I'm sorry that you'll have to be staying, no matter what your age is," I squeezed his hands that were still holding onto mine. This life was one of blood shed and misery, a life I despised.

"Thanks Blake," he gave a timid grin.

"You're welcome Jason," I gave him a rare genuine smile. I really did feel bad and sorry for his lack of freedom when I at least had a chance at it.

"Now go to sleep I can tell you're tired," he stood from my bed and grabbed the plates. I plugged my cell phone in and saw it was quarter after ten. He sat the plates on my bed side table and pushed me back. Then he tugged my quilt over me. "Go to sleep, if you need anything yell or call, okay?"

"I'll be fine Jason! You go to bed too," I yawned and closed my eyes.

"I will. Good night, Blake." I couldn't be sure, but I think that he kissed my forehead before leaving my room. I slipped into a peaceful darkness, at ease with myself more than before but only after shedding more tears that had been bottled up for so long. Jason was a good person no matter how tough he acted and I wanted to find a way out of this life of death, hatred, and misery for him. He just didn't deserve it! That's what I was going to try and do. I swore my life on it before falling into a heavy sleep.