Before we were 'US'

Chapter 4

I had never really been the type of person to talk to strangers online.

At least, that's what I told myself.

It had started with boredom.

That was it.

Nothing dramatic.

Nothing dangerous.

Just boredom.

After shopping with Ava, I got home, dumped my bags on my bedroom floor and collapsed onto my bed. My room was quiet, the house was unusually peaceful and, for once, nobody was shouting my name from downstairs.

I picked up my phone.

I opened i********:.

Scrolled.

TikTok.

Scrolled.

WhatsApp.

Nothing.

I sighed and dropped my phone on my chest.

Then I remembered the app I'd downloaded a few weeks ago.

I had only joined because Ava had sent me the link and insisted that "everyone talks to random people on there."

I hadn't really cared about it at first.

Until I met him.

His username was Lord Void.

Mine was Darling Starling.

I still had no idea why I'd chosen that name.

It sounded cute when I made the account.

Now it just sounded ridiculous.

We hadn't exchanged real names.

That had been one of the rules we'd somehow made without actually making them.

No real names.

No pictures.

No personal information.

Just conversation.

At first, we'd barely spoken.

Then one night, he'd replied to something I'd posted.

Lord Void: You seem bored.

I'd replied:

Darling Starling: I am.

Lord Void: That's tragic.

Darling Starling: Thank you for your concern.

Lord Void: You're welcome.

I'd laughed at my screen.

And somehow, that was how it started.

We began talking almost every night.

Sometimes for ten minutes.

Sometimes for hours.

We talked about random things.

Music.

Food.

University.

People we couldn't stand.

Things we wanted to do someday.

Sometimes he'd disappear for hours and return with a completely random message like nothing had happened.

Sometimes I'd leave him on read just to annoy him.

He'd pretend not to care.

He cared.

A lot.

Tonight, when I opened the app, there was already a message waiting for me.

Lord Void: You're late.

I frowned.

Darling Starling: Late for what?

The typing bubble appeared.

Disappeared.

Appeared again.

Lord Void: Talking to me.

I smiled before I could stop myself.

Darling Starling: I didn't realise you were waiting.

Lord Void: I wasn't.

Darling Starling: Liar.

Lord Void: Maybe.

I rolled onto my stomach.

Darling Starling: What do you actually look like?

The typing bubble disappeared.

I waited.

Nothing.

Then:

Lord Void: Why?

Darling Starling: Curious.

Lord Void: You first.

I laughed.

Darling Starling: Absolutely not.

Lord Void: Then stop asking.

Darling Starling: You're annoying.

Lord Void: And yet you're still here.

I stared at that message.

He had a point.

I typed:

Darling Starling: Maybe I have poor judgement.

Lord Void: Maybe you like me.

I immediately sat up.

My fingers hovered over the keyboard.

That was the thing about talking to someone you couldn't see.

You could say things you'd never say face-to-face.

You could be bolder.

Braver.

Stupider.

Darling Starling: Maybe I do.

I stared at the message after sending it.

Oh.

I had actually said that.

Three dots appeared.

Lord Void: Maybe I like you too.

My stomach did something weird.

I hated that.

I smiled anyway.

Darling Starling: You don't even know me.

Lord Void: Neither do you.

Darling Starling: Exactly.

Lord Void: Maybe that's what makes it interesting.

I stared at his message for a while.

There was something strange about it.

I'd known him for weeks, yet I didn't know anything real about him.

I didn't know his name.

Didn't know what he looked like.

Didn't know where he lived.

Didn't know what his voice sounded like.

And somehow, I still felt comfortable talking to him.

Maybe because there were no expectations.

No awkward eye contact.

No worrying about what my face was doing.

No wondering whether I sounded stupid.

Just words on a screen.

Darling Starling: So what do you actually want to know about me?

Lord Void: Everything.

I smiled.

Darling Starling: That's a lot.

Lord Void: We have time.

I looked at the screen.

Then I typed:

Darling Starling: Ask me something.

He did.

We ended up talking for nearly two hours.

By the time I looked at the clock, it was almost midnight.

I should have gone to sleep.

Instead, I was lying under my duvet with my phone inches from my face, smiling at a stranger.

A complete stranger.

And that should have bothered me.

It didn't.

The next evening, he messaged me again.

And the evening after that.

Soon, it became routine.

I started checking the app without even thinking about it.

I'd wake up and wonder if he'd messaged.

I'd come home and check.

I'd lie in bed at night and wait.

It was ridiculous.

Ava noticed.

Of course she did.

We were sitting together one afternoon when she caught me smiling at my phone.

She leaned over.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Nobody.”

“That is definitely somebody.”

“It's just someone from an app.”

She gasped.

“You have an internet man?”

“He's not my internet man.”

“What's his name?”

“I don't know.”

She stared at me.

“You don't know his name?”

“We don't use real names.”

“That sounds incredibly safe.”

“It is.”

“That's not reassuring.”

I laughed.

“He calls himself Lord Void.”

Ava stared at me.

“That's the stupidest name I've ever heard.”

“It's actually kind of cool.”

“Millie, that's a villain from a children's cartoon.”

I shoved her shoulder.

“He's nice.”

“Does he know your name?”

“No.”

“What does he call you?”

“Darling Starling.”

Ava went silent.

Then she slowly covered her face.

“Oh my God.”

“Don't.”

“You two are flirting.”

“We're talking.”

“You're flirting.”

I shrugged.

“Maybe a little.”

Ava pointed at me.

“I knew it.”

I laughed.

The truth was, I liked talking to him.

Maybe a little too much.

And eventually, our conversations changed.

They became less random.

More personal.

He'd ask how my day went.

I'd ask whether he'd eaten.

He'd tell me when he was annoyed.

I'd complain about my family.

Sometimes he'd tease me.

Sometimes I'd tease him.

And sometimes we'd just sit there typing nonsense to each other.

Then one evening, he sent me a message that made me stare at the screen.

Lord Void: We should meet.

I sat up.

My heart immediately started beating faster.

Darling Starling: Meet?

Lord Void: Yes.

I hesitated.

Darling Starling: In real life?

Lord Void: Unless you know another meaning of meet.

I rolled my eyes.

Darling Starling: Where?

He sent the name of a park.

It wasn't far from my house.

I knew the place.

It was public.

Usually busy.

I thought about it.

Then another message came through.

Lord Void: You don't have to come if you're uncomfortable.

I stared at it.

That made me feel better.

Darling Starling: I'll come.

Lord Void: Tomorrow?

I swallowed.

Darling Starling: Tomorrow.

Lord Void: Five?

Darling Starling: Five.

Lord Void: Don't keep me waiting, Darling.

I smiled.

Darling Starling: Don't call me that in public.

Lord Void: Why?

Darling Starling: Because I'll die of embarrassment.

Lord Void: Then I'll call you Starling.

I put my phone down.

Then picked it up again.

Then put it down.

What the hell was I doing?

I was going to meet a stranger.

A stranger whose name I didn't know.

A stranger whose face I'd never seen.

A stranger who somehow knew exactly how to make me smile at my phone like an i***t.

I should have cancelled.

Instead, I spent the next twenty minutes deciding what to wear.