Just One Night

Chapter Three

I didn’t dare tell her, but when Ever said she hadn’t wanted to say goodnight yet, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest. Mainly because I had felt the same way. I knew the moment she left, it would be a while before I’d see her again, so I was desperate to keep her around for as long as possible.

“Do you remember the night you forgot to charge your family cell phone and so your dad couldn’t reach you to pick us up?” Ever asked as we walked along the crowded sidewalk. An older man sat in front of a coffee shop, his guitar in his lap, crooning songs from the olden days. The perfect remedy to the anxiety I felt creeping in as we maneuvered our way through the crowds. “We had to take the bus back to Jenny’s house that night, and we didn’t know where the hell we were.”

“Yeah, I think we finally made it home just before midnight, which just so happened to be right before the buses stopped running for the night,” I said.

I remembered that night all too well. Mainly because I was grounded the next day for a total of three weeks. But also because that was the first time when I considered that I maybe liked girls, too, and not just boys. A realization that had only hit me when I caught myself staring at Ever multiple times throughout the night. It wasn’t as if she’d looked any different than usual. All we wore back then were baggy pants and super tiny shirts with a ridiculous amount of rubber bracelets. And that night had been no different. Until we’d gotten to Jenny’s.

While the other girls went off to change, I stayed behind in Jenny’s room with Ever. Unlike the others, we’d changed into our pajamas immediately upon getting to Jenny’s. Walking two miles from the bus stop was exhausting, and we were both ready for bed, but the rest of the group decided to stay up on Myspace – which was very much still a thing at the time.

As I lay there beside Ever, the two of us trying our best to drown out their nonsense, I realized I’d never really looked at her before. At the freckles that lined her nose, or the way her lips pouted when she looked relaxed.

Growing confused, I excused myself and went and slept on the couch for the night.

I wasn’t sure then what was going on with me. I didn’t want to consider what it all meant. At the time, sexuality was a big thing among teens. It was still considered “gross” to be a member of the l***q+ community for the most part. I didn’t want to be considered more of a freak than I already was at that stage in my life.

Thankfully, I’d grown to realize my sexuality didn’t make me a weirdo or a freak as I got older. In fact, it had no impact on who I was as a person. Who I loved and who I was attracted to was my own business. If I loved a male? So be it. If I loved a female? So be it. I fell in love with someone because of who they were, not because of their gender.

It was something I struggled with for so long because I’d been told forever that I was to marry a man and give my parents grandbabies. An idea that’s so easily drilled into the heads of young girls on the daily. Had I known that it was okay to like girls, perhaps I would’ve been able to muster up the courage to reach out to Ever sooner rather than later.

But then again, maybe life had other plans for us.

Maybe it had to happen this way.

“Do you remember when we thought we could form a girl group?” I burst out into laughter as I recalled our desperate attempt to form a band. We thought we would be the next big thing, granted, none of us had actually bothered to sing in front of one another. Nor did we have anyone who could play instruments. We had a name, though, and some ridiculously cheesy song lyrics which we were sure would be enough. “Jenny’s parents used to pick on us all of the time. What the heck was the name again?”

“Girl Jam,” Ever said with a laugh. “We were ridiculous. I’m ninety-percent sure Jenny hung up flyers around the neighborhood trying to get people to try out, but the neighbors kept taking them down.”

“And thank goodness for that,” I said. “She had her name and phone number on them. We were so naïve back then. I can’t believe half of the crap we did. It’s a miracle we’re still alive.”

“Well, I for one am very happy you’re still alive.” Ever nudged me with her shoulder as we walked. “I’m really glad we did this. I know I’ve already said that, but it’s true. It’s been… hard finding someone to spend time with. Don’t get me wrong, I love Orlando. It’s a lot cheaper there than it is down here. But I miss this. I miss being around like-minded people – people that get me. People like you.”

“Nothing is stopping you from moving back,” I teased.

“The cost of living and my job would say otherwise,” she said. “Plus, most of my family is in Orlando now. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I don’t think I can stand being so far from them.”

“No, I get it.” And I did. As much as it sucked, I fully understood Ever’s predicament. While most of my family couldn’t get on board with who I was, the family members that did were so vital to my happiness that I couldn’t imagine being far from them.

“I like to believe that everything works out if it’s meant to,” she said. “Do you know what I mean? It’s like the universe has our stories planned out for us. How we eventually get to where we need to be – and who we’re meant to be with – well, that’s all in our control. But either way, our stories are predetermined. So, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

I nodded my head in agreement, even if I didn’t necessarily feel the same way.

I liked to believe we were the authors of our own stories. The characters we got to fill the pages with were up to us, as were how our story’s ended. Sure, death was unpredictable, but whether or not we lived a happy life or one full of regret was within our control.

“That’s one way of looking at it,” I finally mustered. “I just hope you’ll eventually make your way back here. It’s not as fun around these parts on my own.”

After high school it was like I forgot how to be social. So, outside of my communications with Ever, I really didn’t talk to anyone else. Something which was concerning to my mother. She would tell me constantly that I needed to “go out” and live my life. But it wasn’t that simple. I was in my mid-twenties and an introvert. The idea of being in large crowds was enough to make me sick to my stomach.

So, I opted to stay indoors and read in my free time.

Except for tonight. Ever was the exception to the rule.

“Come,” she reached for my hand and entwined her fingers with mine. “I want to show you something.”