Chapter 15
601 Words
Ethan’s POV
Target was not supposed to be emotional.
It was supposed to be diapers, wipes, maybe some formula, and a coffee stop because we were both running on fumes. I volunteered to go mostly because I didn’t want Lena to go alone again not after the week we’d had.
Mateo had been teething like a tiny demon. Lena hadn’t slept more than three hours in two days. And me? I’d spilled half a bottle of breastmilk, snapped at Logan for no reason, and cried at a Pampers commercial at 2 a.m. Don’t ask.
So yeah. Target felt like neutral ground.
Lena wore her giant hoodie, the one she stole from me two weeks in, and had Mateo strapped to her chest like a tiny king. She looked tired. Really tired. But she still smiled at him like he was made of stars.
I pushed the cart. Tried not to stare at her.
“Do you think he needs one of those pacifier clips?” she asked, holding up a pack.
“Do I think he needs it?” I repeated. “Or do I think you want it because it matches the diaper bag?”
She gave me a look. “Function and fashion. He deserves both.”
I raised my hands in surrender. “Far be it from me to deny the prince.”
She tossed it in the cart, but her laugh was quieter than usual. Tight.
We made it to the baby aisle, and she stopped in front of the formula section, biting her lip.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She stared at the shelf. “They moved it. And I can’t remember which one he liked last week. Was it the purple lid? Or the gold?”
I looked at the options. All of them looked the same. All of them promised to be “gentle” and “soothing” and “miracle-working.”
“Let’s just get both,” I said.
She didn’t move.
“Lena?”
Her jaw clenched. “I should know this. I should know this. I’m his mom well, kind of and I can’t even remember his formula.”
There it was. That edge of guilt she carried like a second skin.
I reached out, gently touching her elbow. “Hey. He’s four months old. And he just screamed at me for an hour last night because I sneezed too loud. None of us know what we’re doing.”
She looked at me then, and for a second I saw all of it her exhaustion, her doubt, that tiny flicker of panic that lived behind her eyes now.
“I just…” she whispered. “I want to be good at this.”
“You are,” I said, without even thinking. “You’re great. He loves you. I love you”
Pause.
Internal screaming.
Did I just say that?
I cleared my throat. “I mean, I love that he has you.”
Smooth, Ethan. Real smooth.
She didn’t react. Just turned back to the shelf and grabbed both cans like nothing happened. But I saw the flush in her cheeks.
After checkout, we sat in the car with Mateo finally asleep in his car seat. The silence was heavy. Not awkward, just… full.
“I’m scared sometimes,” she said softly. “That this is going to be too much. That I’m going to break.”
“You won’t,” I said, instantly. “Because I’m here. And we’re figuring it out.”
She looked over at me. “Are we?”
“Yeah. We are.”
- Writer
