THE MAN WHO FAILED ME

2. AURORA

"Mommy will you ever leave me?" After a silent pause, he raised the most unexpected question, taking her by surprise.

His sad grey eyes, glistening with tears avoiding her confused eyes. The tight grip of his small hand on her fingers, indicate his desperation to know the answers, but fear to saddened his mother.

"Ben, I'll be in the office if Anna passes by" without waiting for his reply she quickly heads towards her office carrying her son.

Passing a quick acknowledging nod to Laura at the counter. She place him on the couch in the private of her office.

Kneeling before him, she held his tiny warm hands pressing kisses over them. Whispering her declaration of love and admiration as she kisses his cheeks, his forehead. She wanted her son to feel her love for him through her action.

"I love you my baby. My precious son" he expectantly glance up at her. His eyeslashes wet from the unshed tears.

"Ever since, you are gifted to me. I have loved you. You taught me there is hope, there is love and I deserved it too. With you, my son, I have only known happiness. There has never been a moment I wasn't happy with you. You are my happiness, my brave handsome son. I have love you before I knew you" her tone soft and warm.

"I want nothing except you. You are more precious than the entire world to me" he rejoice in the words of his assuring mother.

"I love you Gregory William Rancer. My dearest darling son" overwhelmed by his mother love, he leans in her open arms wrapping his tiny arms around her neck. Hugging her tightly bearing a huge genuine smile.

"I love you too mommy. Mommy only mine" his possessive tone was firm making her smile.

Her heart aches for him. Too young and pure to be bothered by what the insecure adult world discarded. Despite her attempt to dissipate the tears forming in her eyes, a single lone tear escapes creating path to the incessantly endless tears.

If only he knew, abandonment owes nearly to nothing than the untold secrets she beholds within herself.

Resentment, betrayal, may overcome the bond they shared, someday when fate decides to take matters into its hand.

She felt suffocated with the guilt her heart carries. Her heart aches for all the things her son was missing. A proper family of three, his uncles and aunts who would have doted on him, grandparents who would adore him, had things did not turn ugly.

"Mommy please don't cry" he begged, untangling his arms from her neck when a shaky silent sob racked her body. Struggling to wipe her tears with his little hands, mirroring her sad expression.

"I am sorry mommy" his soft lips trembles ridden by guilts assuming he did something wrong to hurt his mother.

"No. No. Why are you sorry?" Wiping her tears hastily, feeling more gutted than she was when she caught his gloomy-self-blaming expression.

"I made mommy sad" his lips pouted out, eyes sad fidgeting with his fingers. Looking so lost and vulnerable.

"Honey, no. Grey baby, you will never be the reason for my tears" she breathed out, calming her breath.

"Unless it is a happy one. You are my happiness and I love you so much" his eyes brighten up, blinking at her.

"Mommy is my happiness too" she means what she said, so did her son.

Without him, she knew she would have lost the battle long ago. Her will to continue, her hopes were all diminished that day. She was a living death, floating into days after days with nothing but emptiness. The unfortunate accident she underwent was a turn of event, a true blessing in disguise.

After she was left alone in the street, she struggle to survived, she knew nothing about work and few were willing to give her a chance. In some she lasted an hour, a day or two, nothing fruitful and knowledgeable to last her long.

On an unfortunate tiring day, she passed out waking up to a long list of symptoms she was suffering. From malnutrition to sleep deprived, to be six months pregnant.

She found her purpose and hope to start again —when she had none. Deciding to fight for a better life, to be stronger for the little soul fighting to survive.

Amid her struggles she hope for a better beautiful life someday.

Her chest throb with the similar pain she became accustomed to, guilts.

Guilty that she took the opportunity of a father from his son. Guilty of keeping his existences a secret, depriving the parental right of his birth father. But she fears, fear that he would fight for their son's custody. And to stand against the Black power and influence, she was nothing.

Embracing him tightly, she whispers softly "Don't leave me my baby. I can't live without you"

"I won't mommy. Never" he shakes his head on her chest.

She reminded herself like an affirmation, no one can take him from me. In the past, she was naive, weak but not anymore. She has her son to protect.

Growing up with her overprotective older brothers, who loved and doted her. Fulfilling her every wishes and supporting her, she grew up protected shielded from the world. She was untainted, innocent and kind viewing the world from her bubble wrapped life. Her world was safe and peaceful that surviving in an entirely new world was an impossible challenge for her.

"Grey baby, did anyone say anything to you? That I don't know about?" She gently asked stroking his hair.

"Other kids in class said I don't have a daddy. He left me because I'm a bad boy" by his sad reluctant tone filled with grief, guilt and pain, his fear was evident.

Aurora was left speechless, too stunned to say a word. It breaks her heart to hear innocent young children —not much older than babies— saying hurtful words to another.

"Mommy, am I a bad boy?" Her son expectant eyes awaiting her answers shatter her fragile heart.

She wanted to be honest with him. His father did not abandoned him —except her. He knew not of his existence.

She battled a lot for a long time wondering if the news of her pregnancy will change anything. Only concluding to one, no.

Remembering back to the day, he was relaxing in a cafe with the business woman he partner with. A mature, working lady whom he prefer over her naive self. His forehead clear of the frowns he bears that night, lashing out, addressing his anger towards her.

He appears relaxed.

The hypothetical, if, make the decision she struggles to decide. What if he demanded a force abortion or refused to acknowledge their child? That would have shattered her.

It pains her to assumed such things of him, but he became a different man from the man who vowed to love her for enternal.

He was blinded by rage to see the consequences of his action. Wrecking her when he doubted her love for him, bent on believing she betrayed his trust. Destroyed his hard work of three years. The disappointment and accusation his eyes bear deeply wounded her, piercing every cells in her body.

She despise herself for being so naive, so protected. She wanted to be mature, confident, someone he could rely on but he never gave her the chance to.

He ended it all.

"Bad boys are those who don't obey their parents. They are mean to others, they beat and bullied their friends. They don't listen to their teachers and they don't respect their elders. So, tell me, are you a bad boy?" He listens attentively to her words. After a minute long of silence he shakes his head.

"No. I obey mommy, and Father Leo said I am a good son. I'm a good boy"

"Yes, you are and you should never doubt that" taking his hand in hers, she squeeze it "when you are old enough to understand, I promise I will tell you everything. Can you trust mommy on that?"

"Promise?" He tilted his head repeating the word to which she answered nodding her head.

"Ok"

The door to her office pushed open interrupting them by a man with dirty blond hair, ear piercing, possessing a dreamy pairs of light blue eyes, tall and fit ticking every list of a popular handsome college boy. With a lazy smile.

"Hello, flower"