His little complication 18+ ddlb

Chapter 8

JACK

I checked my watch. It was ten minutes past eight. It meant that I’ve been waiting here, at the entrance of the Velvet Room, for ten minutes now. Luckily, Billy the bouncer kept me company.

There were only a handful of people inside the club. Thursday nights were always slow. That’s why I never worked Thursdays. Good thing, too, because my wounds and my bruises have yet to heal. I wouldn’t want the patrons to see me gyrating on stage looking like some f*****g leopard with the violet spots all over my body.

Five minutes later and Luke finally arrived, alighting from a cab that ferried him here.

“Yo,” I greeted him. “What’s up, man?”

“Hey. Thanks for meeting me at such short notice,” he replied.

“I told you, I’m here for you if you need me, right? I guess you need me right now, eh? How can I help you?”

Luke took a quick look at Billy who was eyeing him as well. He didn’t seem to be comfortable with the bouncer’s presence, so he grabbed my arm and led me away from the club, towards the alleyway where I was beaten up three nights ago.

“Dude, this place still triggers some PTSD s**t for me,” I jested.

He didn’t laugh. It was clear that he wasn’t in the mood for jokes. He kept walking, dragging me along with him.

We stopped near the center of the alley, just a few feet from where I was struck down. f**k! I could still see red stains on the pavement... my dried up blood, most probably.

“What’s this about, Luke?” I asked him.

“It’s bad, Jack. Really bad,” he began to say. His voice was weak. His motions were frantic. He was clearly agitated about something.

“What happened?” I demanded to know. “Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“I... I’m getting married in three weeks,” he told me.

“I don’t think that’s a secret, man,” I replied. “I was at your fiancee’s bridal shower. We both were. That’s where we met, remember?”

“I...” he struggled to continue. “I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do.”

“Huh? Cold feet all of a sudden, bro?”

“It’s not cold feet. It’s more like a... realization. A really late realization.”

“Like an epiphany?” I suggested.

“Yeah. I think that’s accurate,” he agreed.

“Lemme guess... this chick, your fiancee... she cheated on you before and you forgave her?”

“No... nothing like that,” he denied. “Well... at least I think she hasn’t.”

“Then why, Luke? Why’re you having doubts about marrying her?”

“That’s the thing. I just feel that it isn’t the right anymore. I don’t know why.”

“Something must’ve triggered this u-turn, right?”

Luke sniffled as he slowly trekked towards the wall. There, he rested his back as he lit up a cigarette. He tried to remain calm, but his inner torment was all too visible on his bitter face.

“Had a chat with my fiancee’s dad awhile ago,” he began to share after a minute or two.

“Seems like it was more than just a good ol’ father-and-son talk, huh?”

“Far from it. This guy... he’s the most parsimonious man you’ll ever get to know.”

“I dunno what parsimonious means,” I confessed, “but it does sound bad.”

“Very,” he confirmed. “He called me to his office. I thought he wanted to discuss something about work. He didn’t. He talked to me about the wedding, about her daughter, about me. More on the latter subject, actually.”

“And it was more than just a ‘don’t you ever hurt her or I’ll kill you’ kind of conversation?”

He scoffed. “I wish it was. I could’ve handled that. But no. He basically told me that I’m not good enough for his daughter.”

Wow. That’s heavy stuff. But it wasn’t earth-shattering. A lot of fathers are quite possessive with their girls, so much so that they don’t think anyone would be good enough to deserve them.

“Well, maybe he’s just challenging you,” I attempted to make him see the brighter side of the situation. “This can be your chance to prove him wro-”

“He said that I’m not good enough to protect her,” he continued without allowing me to finish.

“Okay then. Perhaps this guy’s just relaying his fears, y’know. Maybe he just wants to make sure that you’re up to the task of defending her baby girl, if the need arises.”

“He said that I’m not even good enough to be a man!” he yelled as if he didn’t even hear what I was saying.

“Oh,” I muttered, shocked that a future father-in-law can actually belittle his future son-in-law like that, in person, and so close to the wedding date.

Luke rolled his hand into a fist and slammed it backwards against the wall that was supporting him. He may have struck the stone barrier a little too hard as he winced a bit afterwards.

“I’m sorry to hear that, dude,” I endeavored to alleviate his sorrow. “Those are some painful words. But come on, man... you’re not marrying that guy, right? You’re marrying his daughter.” I felt obliged to tell him about what I really thought regarding his circumstances.

“No... you don’t understand... it’s not about him...”

“What do you mean?” I had to ask.

“His words... they may have been hurtful... but it’s not because they were insulting. Somehow, I feel... like I’ve always felt though I’ve constantly denied it... that there’s truth to what he said.”

“That you’re not good enough for his daughter? Who the f**k cares, man? If you think that’s true, then it’s true. But the story doesn’t end there, right? You can change. You can strive to be better.”

He just shook his head. “He also said,” he went on to say, “that the reason why my fiancee chose me to be her husband was because I’m weak and that she could easily control me...”

“Oh wow,” I uttered in shock. “That’s pretty hardcore s**t, man. I don’t know what to say. That old bastard went a little too far with that one...”

“No, he didn’t,” Luke sullenly contradicted.

“Huh?”

“It’s true,” he admitted as tears began to pour from his eyes. “I know I’m weak, and I know that Sarah always preferred me to be that way. I always knew how she liked being in charge. I always knew that she hated being told what to do. I always knew that she wouldn’t even tolerate the slightest opposition. That’s what made us click, Jack. That’s what made us a perfect couple.”

I didn’t know what to tell him. Based on what he narrated, his relationship with her was far from perfect. It was even far from being healthy.

I started to think that his doubts about his upcoming wedding were a good thing. Maybe it’s fate’s way of smacking him in the head to make him realize that marrying her was far from being ideal.

“A control freak, huh?” I remarked with a soft chuckle.

“You can say that,” he agreed as he tried to restrain his sobs.

“Can’t blame you for having second thoughts then.”

“But I love her!” he exclaimed rather defensively.

“Do you, Luke?” I forced myself to pose that question. I had to do something to help him realize that this scheduled wedding might only make him more miserable. “Do you really love her?”

“We’ve been together for five years!” he reasoned out. “Five years, Jack! That’s a significant period of time!”

“But that’s not proof of love,” I told him. “Tell me, bro. Why do you love her?”

“I... I... “ he was scrambling for words before coming up with a coherent reply. “I’m willing to do anything for her... to be anyone she wants me to be... to give her all that I have and so much more...”

“That sounds nice,” I acknowledged with an intentionally sardonic voice. “I guess you really love her. But does she love you?”

“Yes!” he was quick to answer.”

“Why do you think so?”

“Because she’s gonna marry me.”

“And that’s enough reason for you to be sure that she loves you?”

Luke fell silent. He bowed his head as he drew another puff from his stick.

“Come on, man,” I egged him to answer my question. “If you’re certain that this chick loves you, you can tell me something - anything - that will prove it.”

He didn’t respond.

He just kept quiet.

Several times, his lips parted as if he was about to speak, only to stop before any words could escape his mouth. It was clear that he was thinking... that he was trying to find a suitable reason for the challenge I laid down.

I didn’t think he found any.

He just sulked under the shadows of the buildings that surrounded us.

“I feel so f*****g stupid,” he finally replied after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

“It’s okay, man,” I tried to comfort him. “Broads can do that to us sometimes. It happens to the best of us.”

“I... I guess... I guess being with her made matters very convenient... very advantageous for me that I refused to see what was obvious...” he stated morosely as if he was just talking to himself.

“Good thing you realized this just in time then,” I said.

Just when I thought he has seen the light, Luke began to act all worked up once more. He started to pace around the alleyway with hurried steps. “No!” he yelled. “I can’t be that stupid! I’ve been with her for so long! So what if she’s just using me? So what if she’s a control freak? So what if she’s difficult? I don’t even give a flying f**k if she’s the devil incarnate! I love her! I f*****g love her! That should be enough reason to marry her!”

Oh boy.

The guy’s still in denial.

Normally, I would’ve just let him be. His choice, his funeral. But I owed him my life, and if I could save him from a marriage that would just end up being catastrophically wretched, I should do my best to do that.

And so I decided to tell him the truth.

It will hurt him.

It will offend him.

It will confuse him.

But, hopefully, it will slap some sense into him.

“Luke, you’re gay,” I informed him in the frankest manner I could.

He stopped walking and turned to face me. He looked angry and disconcerted and frightened.

“W-What did you say?” he asked with a weak but furious tone.

“You’re gay,” I repeated, still quite candidly.

Without warning, he leapt towards me and laid his hand over my chest. He pushed me hard against the wall, producing a loud thud. It should’ve hurt. But I’m a big man. I could take it.

“f**k you, Jack!” he cursed. “f**k you! I’m not gay, you asshole! f**k you!”

“Luke, you are,” I uttered calmly.

“Shut up, you motherfucking son of a b***h!” he continued to scream. He looked like he wanted to punch me. I was ready for that. But he didn’t follow through. “How dare you call me that?”

“Because you are, Luke,” I replied, smiling. “You’re gay. I’m sorry. I know that it’s your right - and your right alone - to decide when and where to come out. However, that presupposes the fact that you know you’re gay. But you don’t know you’re gay. That’s why I’m telling you right now, Luke. You’re gay.”

“You have the f*****g audacity to tell me I’m gay?!” he countered challengingly. “You?! You’re a goddamn diaper lover! You’re a disgusting adult baby! You’re the one who’s sick!”

Oooohhhh.

Adult baby? Diaper lover? Those are very specific and established terms.

Someone’s been doing some studying. Sadly, his research made him even more ignorant.

“Color me evil, then,” I smirked. “You’re still gay, bro.”

“Take it back!” he barked. He was fuming with rage while growing more desperate with helplessness. He sounded like a kid who was acting tough despite knowing all too well that he’d be powerless against me. Funny. I was supposed to be the diaper lover... the adult baby... in this conversation.

“Can you just chill for a moment and think about it?” I advised. “Ask yourself... have you ever been attracted to a guy before?”

“f**k no! Absolutely not! Never!” he bellowed.

“Have you ever touched yourself while thinking of another man?”

“What kind of a question is that? Of course not!”

“Has the thought of another man entered your mind while you’re making love to a woman... to this Sarah, for example... just to keep your c**k hard until you satisfy her?”

He shook his head vehemently. “Stop it! I’m not like that at all!”

My smile faded. I wanted him to realize the seriousness of what I was about to say next.

“Do you... do you find me attractive?” I asked.

His furious gaze immediately left me as he began walking around in circles once again. He was breathing hard and fast. I could see sweat forming on his temples, threatening to drip at any second. The veins on his neck were becoming prominent. He was tensing up. He knew the answer. He just couldn’t say it.

“That night, at your girl’s place,” I continued, “when we were in that small, damp storage room... you seemed very perturbed.”

“Because it was like an oven in there!” he quickly explained. “And I don’t like cramped spaces!”

“I could hear your heart beating rapidly.”

“I was panicking! I thought I was going to have an asthma attack!”

“You were stuttering.”

“Because I was scared! I didn’t even know you back then! You could’ve been a psychopath, for God’s sake!”

“You had a hard-on.”

“W-What?!” he stammered before falling silent for a while. He forced himself to laugh it off. “You’re crazy,” he said, his voice softer this time around as if he was afraid that other people might hear him. “I didn’t have a f*****g erection...”

“Luke, we bumped against each other, remember? Your groin rammed against my thigh. I felt your d**k. It was as stiff as a pipe. It was definitely a boner.”

“I... I... I... “ he found it very difficult to come up with a reply. He just quickened his pace as he continued to walk in an aimless circle. “It always gets hard when I have to pee, okay?” he eventually said when he finally thought of an excuse.

“I bet it does,” I tittered. “And why did you feel so self-conscious when we got to talk outside after that?”

“I wasn’t self-conscious!”

“You asked so many questions about me, hoping that I wouldn’t ask any about you.”

“That’s because I was curious about you. Is that wrong?”

“Heh!” I scoffed. “Curious? About me? A stranger who happened to be a guy?”

“And who happened to be a stripper!” he added. “I haven’t met a male stripper before. I... I haven’t even met a female one, but that’s beside the point.”

“And the night I got beaten up? Why were you here?”

“Because.... Because...” I thought he had an answer, but no other words escaped his mouth. He got so frustrated about it that he approached the wall once more and slammed his hand on the craggy surface. Again, he miscalculated how hard he struck it. He favored his fingers immediately thereafter as he tried to hide the pain he was feeling. That told me much about him. This guy wasn’t used to being physical.

“Luke... you’re gay,” I told him once more and as sincerely as I ever could.

“N-No... No, I’m not,” he insisted, weakly, defeatedly.

I walked towards him. My hand reached for his chin. I lifted up his face so that our eyes would meet.

And I saw right through him...

He wasn’t keeping any secrets. Secrets are self-acknowledged truths that one doesn’t want to share with anyone else. Luke wasn’t hiding anything. He was just in constant denial of his truths. He was terrified of them.

And that’s what was weighing him down.

Not the girl he was supposed to marry.

Not the girl’s father who disliked him.

Not the career that kept him leashed and under other people’s control.

No.

Luke was feeling burdened and unhappy and broken because he couldn’t accept who he really was.

I pitied him the first time I met him.

Now, as his face was a few inches away from mine, I wasn’t feeling sorry for him anymore.

I was feeling something else.

I was feeling apprehension...

Concern...

A dire need to help...

And, weirdly enough, some kind of need I couldn’t explain...

“I... I’m not gay...” he murmured as a tear dripped down his cheek.

“You wanna know for certain?” I asked softly.

I didn’t wait for him to respond.

My face lunged towards his face. My mouth conquered his mouth. My lips claimed his lips.

There was nothing graceful about it. There was no building anticipation, no repressed longing that was waiting to be unleashed, no quaking hesitation that was courageously overwhelmed.

It all happened so fast.

We kissed as I held him close to me.

It wasn’t dry. It was very wet. Very wet and very sloppy.

It didn’t start with small nibbles that gradually became an intense smooch. It was sudden and bullish. He didn’t have the opportunity to protest.

It didn’t escalate into our tongues clashing like blades at war, nor our bodies enfolding deeper into each other’s space. He was still for the whole five or six seconds of that kiss.

I did open my eyes while our lips were locked and I saw that his were shut. He didn’t resist what I did. He didn’t push me away.

And when it ended, he showed no signs of anger nor did he look upset. He just remained as motionless as he was when I was kissing him.

But he did try to express his shock.

“J-Jack... what... uhm... why...” he tried to speak.

“Did you like that?” I asked with a grin.

He didn’t answer back, but I knew that I tapped into a corner of his soul that has long been suppressed by the weight of expectations and the self-serving contrivances of those around him. I knew that I made him feel what it was like to be real, to be himself, to be free. I knew that I gave him a taste of the person he could be, unbound by the limitations he thought he had, capable of doing more than what he thought he ever could.

And I also knew that I shouldn’t stop with that one kiss.

If I was to help him, I had to do more.

“Come with me,” I invited him.

“Where?” he faintly asked.

“Just trust me,” I told him.

“What... What are we going to do?”

“An experiment.”

“An experiment?”

“Yeah.”

“About what?”

“About you.”

“What about me?”

“About who you really are.”

His questions ceased after that. He may not have known what I had in mind, but he sure made me feel that he also wanted what I was aiming for.