Against Her Will

Episode 9

Ricardo groaned as he accidentally laid weight on the arm she had twisted as he picked himself off the floor, God that hurt, where on earth had she learnt to do that. He hadn’t even expected it and her moves were quick and precise as if she had been trained, just another thing he didn’t know about her. When he had followed a distance behind them, he hadn’t expected to hear what he had heard when he had entered the room that she had actually been forced into this marriage. He had honestly thought that she had been willing and now as he thought about it, everything made sense, why she had hesitated to say I do at the altar, why her hands had been shaking when he had put the ring on her finger, why she had scoffed at the thought of her uncle meaning something to her, why she hadn’t eaten anything at the wedding reception, it was clear from the start he just hadn’t wanted to admit it, for some stupid reason and now he had made the world’s worst blunder to a girl who had been innocent from the start, albeit it wasn’t his fault but it didn’t make him feel any less guilty, it actually made it worse to know that she had never wanted this and already upset as she was, he had made it worse for her, God what she must be thinking about him.

He cursed her uncle for putting her in this position, she wouldn’t have been r***d if he hadn’t agreed to sell off his niece to pay off the blasted debt he owed him and he wouldn’t be feeling so guilty about this. What could he do? He loved his son more than anything and he really did want him to have someone to call mother but he didn’t want to torture her by making her see his face every day after what happened, even if he told her the truth it’s not like she would get over it in a second. She would still be traumatised, there was only one way out of this, he had to file a divorce, this was wrong in so many ways. She was only 19 for f@£$’s sake he couldn’t do this to her, he had to tell her the truth first, he would wait after Daniel’s birthday, then he would tell her everything and his decision, she would obviously agree in a heartbeat considering this was the last thing she wanted.

For the next few days before Daniel’s birthday, both Leilani and Ricardo stayed clear of each other, they only saw each other when Daniel wanted to play with the both of them. It was awkward for the both of them with Leilani flinching every time he came near her but it wasn’t entirely unbearable. Leilani hadn’t had as much fun in years, Daniel was the sweetest boy in the world, she didn’t know when it happened but she had really started to care for the kid. She felt concerned whenever he hurt himself, happy when he was near, content when she cuddled with him on the couch when watching a movie, proud when he showed her his work that the tutor had given him and when he understood whatever she said when she taught him a few times and she felt something she’s never felt before when she tucked him in bed every night after reading a story, maybe it was love, it was hard not to love the kid to be honest, he was a mixture of mischievous, cute and polite and that just made him all the more adorable.

She remembered the other day when Danny had burst a water balloon over her head when she was sitting by the window, she had been soaked. She couldn’t even bring herself to be the slightest bit annoyed though when she looked at him, he had been looking up at her with innocent eyes but when she narrowed her eyes at him, it immediately changed to a mischievous and sheepish expression before he ran off with her chasing after him. They spent at least an hour or so chasing each other with water balloons when she had caught Danny from behind and threw a balloon over his head causing him to whine since he had nothing left whilst she had two. When he turned around and looked up at her with a pout, she smirked at his face before she raised both balloons over both their heads and just as he widened his eyes realising what she was going to do but he had no time to run away as she smirked at him before smashing them together causing water to shower the both of them, they both laughed at that dripping wet and that was the sight that Ricardo had come back home to causing Leilani to immediately make an excuse and leave.

She had made dinner a few times as well these past few days, the first time he hadn’t known what to say when he saw a plate for him as well, after what he did, considering that in her head, he had r***d her under a drunken stupor instead of him actually being drugged, he couldn’t believe she even bothered to save a plate for him let alone make him food, which he had to admit was way better than any of the five star restaurants he’s been through. If there was one thing he was going to miss after the inevitable divorce it would be her food, man it was beyond good. That was another thing to add about her, she could cook, bake and she apparently knew how to fight too.

He didn’t know why but he was starting to really hate the fact that her smile and laugh immediately evaporated at the sight of him, so much so that he snuck in the house one time without making any noise just to see her smile a little longer, and he had to admit she was really beautiful when she did, though he immediately removed those thoughts from his head, as he remembered what it had led to last time and on top of that, she was 19 and he was 24, he felt like a p*****t watching her have fun with his kid just to see that smile on her face but he couldn’t help it. That was another thing that had him look at her differently, the way she talked, laughed and handled his kid, it brought a smile to his face whenever he thought about it, he had never seen Daniel so happy before, the smile that he had so rarely seen was now on his face 24/7, whenever they talked together, it was always mommy this and mommy that and he really loved to see the absolute adoration his son harboured for her, it was clear in his eyes but then he thought about what he was planning to do and it immediately dampened his mood. How was he going to tell Daniel that she wouldn’t be staying here anymore, how would he feel about this, how would she? Who was he kidding, just a few days of having fun with his son was not going to make her forget everything and stay here. He sighed running a hand through his hair before he made his way to Daniel’s room to wish him goodnight.

When he had entered the room he hadn’t expected her to be on his son’s bed with his ninito’s head in her lap as she softly sung to him, she had the most gorgeous voice he’s ever heard, it was truly beautiful. (Nocturne-secret garden)

“…Have no fear when the night draws near

And fills you with dreams and desire

Like a child asleep so warm, so deep

You will find me their waiting for you, Nocturne.” Leilani sang softly to Danny as she stroked his forehead with a fond smile on her face, she had no idea how motherly she looked right now but Ricardo saw it, the almost loving smile on her face had him staring at her in slight awe, no nanny he had hired had ever cared for his son the way she had done these past few days and he then realised he hadn’t even told her that Daniel’s birthday was tomorrow, just great.

“We will fly, see the sky

We don’t have to wonder why

Always be, always see

Come and dream the night with me, Nocturne

The darkness lay

It will give way

When the dark night delivers the day, Nocturne.” Leilani smiled as she finished the song before she got up as silently as possible trying not to wake Daniel up but he wouldn’t let go of her hand or her dress. She tried to gently pull his hands off of her but he wouldn’t budge, she didn’t want to put too much force for fear of him waking up after she just put him to bed so she sat there not knowing what to do when she saw two familiar hands come in front of hair gently prying Daniel’s fingers off of her and she nearly flinched away when she realised who it was before stopping herself as she looked at Danny, she didn’t want to wake him up after all.

She slid out of the bed and quickly made her way to the door but just before she left, she whispered a quiet, “Thank you,” causing him to look at her back in shock as she walked away from him, he had not expected that. He shook off the feeling as he whispered goodnight to his kid, kissing his forehead as he tucked the blanket around him before hurrying to chase after her. These past few days, she had stayed in a random room in the house, and considering how many rooms there are, it was pretty hard for him to know where she was, he could have asked a servant but he didn’t want to disturb her privacy after what happened. Thankfully she hadn’t made it to her room yet as he turned the corner to see her still walking, he called after her causing her to stop still before walking even faster as he hurried to catch up with her.

“Wait, um, I need to tell you something.” Ricardo said a little out of breath as he finally caught up to her.

“I don’t want to hear a word from you. Now leave me be.” Leilani snapped before walking faster. She refused to show any weakness in front of him right now as she put on her usual emotionless mask she created for herself in the past 3 years she’s lived with her uncle.

“Please, just this once and I promise I won’t ever bother you again.” Ricardo said pleadingly, he was going to tell her about Daniel’s birthday, but he suddenly had a feeling that this was the moment, he had to tell her the truth now.

“I don’t care for what you have to say.” Leilani said not even looking at him as she carried on walking.

“I was drugged! I didn’t do it because I was drunk, I would never have done something like that no matter how intoxicated I was.” Ricardo quickly blurted out causing her to stop in her tracks.

“You expect me to believe that? Why the hell would I trust a single word that comes out of your mouth? You made it pretty clear that you hated me at the blasted wedding, so I guess r-r****g me was your way of getting it all out! Did you like it when I screamed? Did you enjoy yourself? Did you have fun?” Leilani’s voice broke at the end as a traitorous tear trailed down her cheek and he actually flinched at that as he looked anywhere but at the broken look in her eyes, the look he put there.

“Stop it! Just f@£$!% stop! I don’t expect you to believe me but please don’t say that, I hate myself for what I did to you, for taking away your innocence, for everything I said. I never wanted this marriage, you and I both know that but I would never have done that to you no matter how much I hated you or how angry I was. I know you don’t believe me, I’ve given you no reason to, I understand that but I have proof.” Ricardo said, Leo had already sent the evidence to him, the entire call had been recorded after all.

“What proof?” Leilani asked as she turned around curiously, she really wanted to know if he was bluffing or if he was actually telling the truth because if it was true, and he had been drugged, then he was as much of a victim as her, well, more or less, she had suffered more after all.

“Here listen to this please.” Ricardo said before he played the entire call on his phone to her as she stood there with a blank expression as she listened to everything. Once the recording finished he said, “I am truly sorry about what happened, even if I had been drugged what I did is not so easily forgiven so I am going to make it up to you, I promise.”

Leilani looked at him this time with tears pricking her eyes as she said, “You were really drugged?”

“Yeah.” Ricardo said softly as he stared into her beautiful eyes, her tears only making them glitter like sapphires in the dimly lit hallway.

Leilani couldn’t control the sob that escaped her mouth, god, she had been r***d on her wedding night because of some stupid animosity between her husband and that bastard, she hadn’t cried since that morning she’d had a panic attack when she had seen him for the first time after that night. And now to find out that what had happened wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for that bastard, it made her feel so enraged but most of all just devastated, she had dreamt when she was younger that one day there would be someone to take her away from the mess that was her life and love her like she was the best thing in his world but reality had hit her hard that night he had r***d her, she still didn’t feel like herself anymore, even her friends who she had talked to over the phone a couple times these past few days had thought something was off about her and they had immediately said they were coming to get her but she managed to persuade them not to come and that she was fine but she knew that they still didn’t believe her.

She tried to wipe her tears but they kept on flowing, she tried to quiet her sobs but they kept on coming. He couldn’t stop himself from walking towards her, he didn’t know what to do but he did know that he desperately wanted her to stop making those painful sounds, it was twisting his heart in a way he didn’t think was possible. He knew what his mother did to comfort him, but he didn’t think she’d appreciate it but he had to do something so he hesitantly went forward and very gently wrapped his arms around her. He felt her immediately flinch and pull back from him as she looked at him with fear, tears running down her face, her eyes red rimmed and her nose all cute and puffy.

“Don’t, just don’t.” Leilani said her voice breaking as she backed away from him turning to go to her room, despite what he had revealed she just couldn’t get over it so quickly.

“Leilani let me help you, I know I’ve been a jerk of a husband lately but I want to make it up to you, please.” Ricardo said as he gently pulled her back in front of him, he tried to step forwards and offer her even a little bit of comfort but she again stepped back from him and he sighed before he had an idea, “Close your eyes, don’t look at me but let me comfort you, please, you need it.”

Leilani contemplated this for a second but just as she was about to shake her head and leave, she looked up into his concerned eyes full of sincerity and felt another tear fall down from her lashes. Right now what she wanted most was a hug, someone to comfort her like Bella and Luke did whenever she felt down or when they provided first aid after she went to their house after one of her many beatings so she reluctantly nodded at this before she closed her eyes not wanting to see him.

Ricardo sighed in relief and just as she closed her eyes, he pulled her into a gentle but comforting hug and it was then that she truly broke down, everything she’d held together all these years seemed to have burst out of her as she cried for her parents, her brother, the pain she went through with her uncle, being forced into a loveless marriage and then the disaster of her wedding night, everything just came out of her and there was nothing she could do to stop the flood as his comforting arms wrapped around her making her feel more safe than she’s ever had in a long time.

It was a while later that she finally calmed down in his arms before pulling away from him as she wiped her tears before she looked up at him, she looked into his eyes and she nearly flinched when she saw the guy who had r***d her before she pushed that aside when she saw the honest concern in his eyes, it was like she was looking at a completely different person than that one she had met those few days ago and she said with sincerity lacing her voice, “Thank you…Ricardo.”

“You’re welcome Leilani.” Ricardo said as he smiled down at her, she looked truly adorable and he couldn’t help but raise his hand to try and wipe her tears, keyword try, she flinched away from his hand eyeing it as if it was a poisonous snake and he immediately lowered it as he looked at her in confusion. She had acted like he was going to hit her and he immediately said, “I would never hit a woman.”

“I-I’m sorry. I just…” She trailed off, she wouldn’t explain about her uncle, he didn’t need to know that so instead she just said, ‘I guess I’m still not over it yet.”

“I understand that you won’t be for a while but that’s not why you flinched away from me.” Ricardo said immediately seeing through the lie.

“I don’t understand.” Leilani tried to play confused but he could apparently see through that too.

“Yes you do, you just won’t tell me. I won’t push you though, I know it will take a long time for you to even be comfortable around me let alone trust me so take your time but I will find out one day and I’d prefer it to be from your mouth.” Ricardo said to her seriously, he wasn’t as good as Leo in reading people but he could see that right now there was more to her than what met the eye and he would find out.

“I should go to bed.” Leilani said after a minute of silence before she said goodnight and turned away from him.

“Wait, I forgot to tell you but Daniel’s birthday is the day after tomorrow,” Ricardo said and she turned to face him as she nodded.

“I know, he told me. I am going to go out tomorrow to get him a gift,” Leilani said to him before she turned back to walk to her room.

“Uh…I have to do the same. Mind if I tag along?” Ricardo asked hesitantly, he had already gotten a gift but he wanted her to talk to her about the divorce and he definitely didn’t want Daniel eavesdropping, he might not know what divorce is but he was a very smart kid, he’d figure it out eventually and he really didn’t want to know how he’d react to that.

“Uh…I don’t know.” Leilani said before she turned to see his pleading eyes and expression, it reminded her a little too much of Daniel to consider refusing so she sighed before nodding to him as she said, “Fine, if that’s what you want.” It wasn’t his fault she told herself, she couldn’t spend the rest of her marriage life hating him when he hadn’t truly done it on purpose, it would take too much effort and she didn’t want to waste her time hating someone who didn’t deserve it.

“Great, I’ll see you tomorrow then. Good night Leilani, oh, and by the way, you have a very beautiful singing voice.” Ricardo smirked as she turned around to look at him in shock with a slight blush on her cheeks and he laughed at that before walking back to his own room. He knew the servants were beginning to gossip about why they never slept in the same room and soon enough rumours would spread but he wouldn’t make her come in his room yet, what he did was too fresh for her to get over it even if she knew that it hadn’t been his fault. He hadn’t realised how much weight he had been carrying with him these past few days, it had been almost a week since that night and now after letting it off his chest and telling her the truth, his shoulders felt a thousand times lighter right now as he climbed into his bed, he had hated to sleep on this bed since that day, he had literally changed his sheet and pillow covers on his bed by himself before actually feeling comfortable to sleep in it. He sighed as he thought about how he would persuade her to sleep in this room again, he would offer to sleep on the couch but then she’d have to sleep in the bed he had, well, you know, and he didn’t think that was good for her and if he stayed on the bed and she slept on the couch then she’d be uncomfortable so he was at a standstill on this. He shook off all his thoughts before he fell asleep more relaxed than he had been in a while.