s*x And Gambit

9: I want to be better

ALEX’S POV

Engulfed with uncertainty, I watched her naked body sleeping. This isn’t supposed to be her life, she deserve better, she deserve to be free but letting her go means letting g her die and I would not let her die again! Not ever!!

After sending for a duvet, I covered her before leaving the room. Everything about her reminded me about my Zora. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was, how I didn’t mean to it but ego won’t let me. Not when I want her to stay as far from me as possible.

As I walked to my room, I recalled her gaze when I held her neck yesterday. It was the same look Zora gave to me when she held me and begged me not to shot her. It was the same fear, the same brokenness and helplessness they both had.

I took a cold shower and went to my office, thing needed to be done. If out there still want Zora, I need to find another way to cover Dante’s death. The boy jut bite more than he could chew and I won’t lie, it would have been me dead.

A knock came at the door and I asked the person in. Zino walked in with a concerned look on his face. The same look he had when he saw me kill Dante and I knew things weren’t okay.

“Alex, your father isn’t happy about what we said” Zino said.

Zino had been my right hand for as long as I could remember. His father served my father served my father and he decided to serve me but….I have never seen him so worried.

“You are my right hand, Zee, what else can go wrong?” I asked acting tough.

Zino frowned as he took the chair opposite me. He moved closer and brought out a letter. From the look of it, it looked like an invitation letter and it was from my father.

“Your father doesn’t believe you didn’t kill Didi, he said he knows his kids and he will kill the person that had killed his nephew”

I nodded, not a word was said but so may was heard. My father doesn’t deal with traitors easy but he would not space me. If I had died, he would avenge me that that would not stop him from killing me himself.

“Vera was with your father when I left and she seem to be his event planner” he added as he rolled his eyes.

Who would like that woman? Her beauty is dangerous, she knows how to ask for favor and get it no matter the person and she is a manipulative elegant b***h.

“When is the party?” I asked Zino as he dropped the letter on the table.

He looked at me concerned, back at the letter and shake his head.

“How is your stomach?” he asked.

I remain silent. This was the first person asking me about myself for a long time. Dante stabbed me and I killed him with his own knife. Even if my father would see the video, he would punish me for killing ‘family’ just as he punished my mother because of me. Just as he punished my Zora because of me and this Zora….she would not stand a chance.

“How is the trade and tax collection?” I asked instead.

Zino sighed.

“Alita told me Vera came around” Zino said.

He was trying to piss me off into talking about myself. It wasn’t my business he seem to be a therapist that decided to join the mafia. Screw him, I won’t give him that satisfaction of seeing me break.

“She tried to kill Zora so I sent her out and put Zora to sleep” I said trying my best not to have any atom of empathy in what I said.

Zino nodded. He looked like he was going to laugh but he didn’t, he stood up and stretched.

“Our last shipment to Thailand was successful. Tax in the Catanzaro with our joints in the east paid up. No problem so far” he announced with pride “Let me freshen up” he added before leaving.

I grinned, at least one thing was going well and I was grateful. Even if I would deal with the rest some other time, I should be happy now.

It didn’t take time for me to hear a knock at the door, before I could reply, Alita rushed in looking happy.

By the look of thing, she need money or she want to see one of her odd friends. This girl seem to be part of my redemption since my mom died. I remembered the promise I gave to my mom when I said I will protect her sister’s child with all I have. Although I was 29, I feel like I should be old enough to be Alita’s father. The 10 years gap should be just a number as I loved her like my child.

As she stepped to the corner, someone else walked in. Zora.

”Alitalia” I said.

I paused as I looked at her, trying to avoid the look on Zora’s face. I didn’t know if I should scold Alita or be pleased she brought Zora to me but still, I had to say something.

“Zora” I said as I looked at Zora.

She looked surprise, like she was invisible and I had magical powers.

“I am sorry I brought her here sir, she said she wanted to see you” Alita said.

I was silent.

“I came to ask for permission to …”

“You can go” I interrupted her “Zino would fix things for you or tell Mama Carlotta “

Alita smiled, she knew I was talking about money and I knew that was what she wanted. She looked at Zora, who seem mute and shaky. She look in her eyes looked like they were having these girl talk and I just waited.

“You can go” I said after a while of silence.

They both turned to leave I I had no idea I was disappointed Zora didn’t say anything. Alita opened the door and headed out, she waited for Zora who quickly closed the door and remained inside. Ohhh! She wanted to be alone with me.

“Sir” she started.

She was shaking, took few steps towards the table and stared at me dead in the eyes.

“What’s my fate here, sir?” she asked.

The fact that she suddenly begin to call me sir seem a bit suspicious.

“I don’t mean to be…to be an ingrate but you let Alita attend college and I didn’t want to …”

She paused and I stood up. Her breath became uneven as she toyed with her fingers and her eyes went teary. Her lips quivered the more I got closer and that broke me.

“Please… you can send me back to my parents and I swear by my mom I won’t come back or say anything” she cried.

I believed her but sending her to her family means getting them in danger. I know my dad and Vera won’t go far to look for her, not when she is the prime suspect for what I did.

“My family would be worried about me, and if I die...” she feel on her kneels and rubbed her palms together “My mom would be hurt, my dad would, he would be hurt too and my sister”

“Your family would be fine if you remain her and keep shut” I interrupted.

There was so many things about her that reminded me of my Zora. She only wanted to visit her family that got her into this mess. The mess of been in the grave with a gun wound to her forehead.

“You have the nerves, Zora, you really do” I said as I stopped to meet her gaze.

Gosh! She look perfect.

Her lips. Full and small.

Her blue eyes looked fearful, broken, and consuming. Her shoulder length black hair made her face looked smaller. What was I saying? All about her seem small. So small that I felt I would squish her last night when her cold body shivered in my arms. Best, she sleeps like a princess, probably the only daughter of a Rome king in those Days.

Zora was so elegant and…

“I didn’t say anything to Vera but…” her shaky voice interrupted and looked me dead in the eyes.

Gosh! She is doing it! The same thing she did that made me save her.

”I see the rest kitchen staffs look happy to be here, can you please make my stay here a bit like their own?” tears rolled down her eyes.

I have eyes everywhere, this is the mafia. If I give her a special treatment, all eyes would be on her, especially those that want to get credit from my father.

No matter how much it hurt me, no matter how much I wanted to assure her that witnessing a murder doesn’t make her doom, I just stared blankly at her and slowly raised my left hand to her face.

She flinched and closed her eyes. Her body shook, and fresh tears rolled down her eyes.

I wanted to clean her face, to tell her it would better but I didn’t. I only moved her hair off her face, raised her jaw with my thumb and lifted her face but didn’t open her eyes.

“You’re staying here. It’s already much mercy for you” I said.

She opened her eyes to look at me, locking gaze for the first few seconds before sniffing.

She watched me get up, walked back to the seat and sat.

“You should leave. It would soon be lunch for the house, remember you still get to eat anything” I said.

She stood up and walked out, I bet she would take me for a fool.

I heard and saw what she and Alita said yesterday, including the garlic bread.