The Things I Can't Do To You

Seven Days

By Monday morning, Amelia had almost convinced herself the entire evening belonged in the same category as unusually vivid dreams. Not because it hadn't happened but because it felt too improbable to fit into ordinary life.

She stood in front of the bathroom mirror fastening the final button of a pale green blouse before reaching for her hairbrush. The familiar routine settled around her like a comfortable blanket. Brush her hair. Moisturiser. Mascara. A little concealer beneath her eyes. Lip balm. Nothing more.

She had never been someone who enjoyed spending hours getting ready. Fifteen minutes was usually enough. Twenty today. She frowned at her reflection.

"You are not doing this."

Her reflection offered no argument. With an exasperated sigh, she picked up her handbag, checked she had her keys, phone and purse, then locked the apartment behind her.

Outside, Birmingham was already awake. Buses rumbled through the city centre carrying commuters towards offices they had been travelling to for years. Cyclists weaved confidently through traffic while coffee shops spilled queues onto pavements still damp from overnight rain.

Everything looked exactly as it always had which somehow made Friday evening seem even stranger. By the time Amelia reached the office, she had almost succeeded in pushing Jake from her thoughts. Almost.

"Morning."

She looked up as Sophie from accounts appeared beside the coffee machine carrying an oversized mug decorated with tiny bees.

"Morning."

"You look tired."

"I stayed up too late reading."

It wasn't technically a lie. She had been holding a book. Sophie nodded knowingly.

"I did that yesterday. Started one chapter and somehow it became one in the morning."

"The dangers of a good book."

"The dangers of poor self-control."

They laughed before Sophie wandered back towards her desk. Amelia made herself a coffee and returned to her own workstation. The office gradually filled with the familiar soundtrack of keyboards, telephones and quiet conversations. Nothing dramatic ever happened there, which was exactly why Amelia enjoyed working at Ashford Developments.

She liked order. She liked knowing what tomorrow would probably look like. Most importantly, she liked that everyone treated one another with kindness. By half past nine she was completely absorbed in organising schedules for three separate construction projects. By eleven she had answered twenty-six emails, rearranged two meetings and solved a delivery problem that threatened to delay work at a housing development outside Solihull.

Her mind barely wandered once. She smiled. Perhaps life really was returning to normal. Her phone buzzed. Lucy. Amelia hesitated before opening the message.

Lucy:

Coffee?

Lunch?

Emergency debrief?

Amelia laughed quietly.

Amelia:

I'm working.

Lucy:

People work every day.

This is bigger.

Amelia:

It's really not.

Lucy:

You met Mystery Man.

I require details.

Amelia:

There aren't any more details.

Lucy:

Did you spend all weekend thinking about him?

Amelia stared at the screen then deliberately typed a lie.

Amelia:

No.

Three dots appeared almost immediately.

Lucy:

Liar.

Amelia rolled her eyes despite smiling.

Lucy:

Lunch.

One o'clock.

No excuses.

Before Amelia could protest, another message arrived.

Lucy:

I've already ordered your favourite sandwich.

Amelia sighed. She knew when she had lost.

Amelia:

Fine.

One o'clock.

Satisfied?

Lucy:

Very.

See you soon.

Amelia slipped the phone back into her drawer. It was impossible to stay irritated with Lucy for long.

At one o'clock exactly she walked the short distance to the café tucked between two office buildings. Lucy was already there, waving enthusiastically from their usual table beside the window.

"You look disappointed."

"I've been waiting nearly four minutes."

"My deepest apologies."

"I'll forgive you."

Lucy pushed a wrapped sandwich across the table.

"I've also bought cake."

"You always buy cake."

"Because cake solves problems."

"I'm fairly sure that's medically inaccurate."

Lucy shrugged.

"It solves enough of mine."

Amelia laughed and settled into her chair. For several minutes they spoke about entirely ordinary things. Work, television, Lucy complaining about a colleague who insisted on reheating fish in the office microwave. Eventually Lucy leaned forwards.

"So."

Amelia smiled.

"So."

"We've reached the point where pretending we aren't going to discuss Tall, Dark and Gorgeous has become silly."

"I wasn't pretending."

"You absolutely were."

Amelia picked up her coffee.

"It was one evening."

"I know."

"I'll never see him again."

"I know."

"So there isn't anything to discuss."

Lucy watched her carefully.

"Then why do you sound disappointed?"

Amelia looked down into her mug.

Because she was.

"I don't know."

Lucy reached across the table and squeezed her hand.

"You don't have to feel silly."

"I barely know anything about him."

"You know enough."

"I know his first name."

"You know how he made you feel."

Amelia fell silent. That answer came far too quickly.

Safe.

The same word she had sent Lucy on Friday night and she hadn't found a better one since. Lucy smiled gently.

"I've never heard you describe anyone like that."

"I wasn't describing him."

"No?"

"I was describing the situation."

Lucy raised one eyebrow.

"Weren't you really describing both?"

Amelia opened her mouth but nothing came out. Because perhaps Lucy was right.

"I've spent the whole weekend wondering whether I imagined it," Amelia admitted quietly.

"What?"

"The feeling."

"What feeling?"

She searched for the words.

"It was almost like..."

She shook her head.

"This is going to sound ridiculous."

"Try me."

"I felt calmer standing beside someone I'd known for thirty seconds than I usually do with people I've worked alongside for years."

Lucy didn't laugh, she simply listened.

"And that's strange," Amelia continued.

"I'm usually awkward around strangers."

"But not him."

"No."

"Why?"

"I honestly don't know."

Lucy smiled.

"Sometimes people just make sense."

Amelia frowned.

"That sounds like something from a greetings card."

"It probably is."

They both laughed.

Lucy took another bite of cake before speaking again.

"So."

"What now?"

"Nothing."

"You aren't going back?"

"Where?"

"The pub."

Amelia looked out of the café window.

"I don't think so."

"You normally go on Fridays."

"I know."

"So?"

She sighed.

"I don't want to become one of those women who goes somewhere every week hoping a man turns up."

"There are worse reasons to visit a pub."

"I'd feel ridiculous."

Lucy nodded thoughtfully.

"I understand."

Amelia smiled gratefully.

"But..."

"There it is."

"...if he does happen to be there because he also likes that pub..."

Amelia laughed.

"You're impossible."

"I've been told."

They spent another half hour talking about everything except Jake yet somehow his name lingered quietly between every conversation. By the time Amelia returned to work, she found herself smiling more than she had all morning. The week passed with surprising speed.

Tuesday became Wednesday.

Wednesday became Thursday.

Meetings came and went, deadlines were met and emails multiplied faster than she answered them. Each morning she woke expecting thoughts of Jake to have faded. Each evening she realised they hadn't. It wasn't constant. Hours sometimes passed without her thinking about him. Then something small would remind her. A man holding open a door, someone laughing with the same quiet warmth, a glimpse of dark hair disappearing into a crowd. And every reminder brought the same brief flutter of disappointment when she realised it wasn't him.

By Thursday evening she became annoyed with herself. This was absurd. She had spent perhaps twenty minutes with a man whose surname she didn't know. She couldn't even remember exactly how tall he was, only that she'd felt safe standing beside him. Surely that would fade. It had to.

Friday arrived wrapped in pale sunshine. The office emptied a little earlier than usual as colleagues disappeared to begin their weekends.

"Any exciting plans?" Sophie asked while packing away her laptop.

"Nothing special."

"Quiet night?"

"I think so."

Sophie smiled.

"They're usually the best ones."

Amelia left work just after five and instead of heading directly home she wandered slowly through the city centre, enjoying the warmth that lingered after the afternoon sun. She paused outside a bookshop, looking at the display in the window. She popped in to browse before walking through a small park where children chased pigeons across the grass while exhausted parents watched from benches.

Everything felt peaceful and comfortably familiar. When she reached her apartment building she stopped outside the entrance. Her keys rested in her hand. Home was upstairs with a quiet evening, a takeaway and another book. waiting for her. Exactly what she'd planned.

However her gaze drifted almost involuntarily towards the opposite end of the street. The Fox and Chance lay only a fifteen-minute walk away. She looked away immediately, chastising herself.

She unlocked the front door of her flat and walked into the lobby before pressing the button for the lift. While she waited, she caught herself wondering what time Jake had arrived there the previous Friday.

"Oh, for goodness' sake."

She laughed at herself. It wasn't because of him. She wasn't going there hoping to see him. She was simply returning to a pub she genuinely enjoyed before one unpleasant man had almost ruined it. She refused to let Daniel take that away from her.

That was all.

Ten minutes later she emerged from her apartment after changing into jeans, a cream jumper and ankle boots. As she locked the door once more, she smiled to herself.

One quiet drink. Nothing more. She certainly wasn't expecting miracles.

And somewhere across the city, completely unaware that she had changed her mind, Jake Harper was making a decision of his own.