The Things I Can't Do To You

Nine hours

Friday 7:12 p.m.

Amelia:

I still can't believe you sent me flowers.

Jake:

Too much?

Amelia:

No.

Just...

Unexpected.

Jake:

Good unexpected?

Amelia:

Very good unexpected.

I've never had someone send me eight different flowers before.

Jake:

I wasn't sure what your favourite was.

Amelia:

So you bought all of them?

Jake:

It seemed the safest option.

Amelia:

You realise that's not how flowers usually work?

Jake:

I've been informed.

The florist looked amused.

Amelia:

You asked a florist for help?

Jake:

I know my limitations.

Amelia:

That's strangely attractive.

...

Ignore that.

Jake:

Too late.

I've already read it.

Amelia:

I hate messaging.

Jake:

You type exactly what you're thinking.

I rather like it.

Amelia:

Please delete that message from your memory.

Jake:

Absolutely not.

7:31 p.m.

Jake:

Can I ask you something?

Amelia:

Depends.

Is it one of those "what's your favourite dinosaur?" questions?

Jake:

No.

Though now I'm curious.

Amelia:

Diplodocus.

Carry on.

Jake:

Why were you reading in a pub?

Amelia:

People ask me that surprisingly often.

Jake:

I'm apparently joining a long list.

Amelia:

It's peaceful.

Or at least it's supposed to be.

I spend all week talking to people.

Answering emails.

Solving problems.

Sometimes I just want to sit somewhere that isn't my flat and disappear into a book for an hour.

Jake:

I understand that.

Amelia:

Do you?

Jake:

More than you'd think.

7:48 p.m.

Amelia:

Your turn.

Jake:

My turn?

Amelia:

Tell me something about yourself.

A real thing.

Not favourite colour.

Jake:

I make coffee before I do absolutely anything else in the morning.

Amelia:

That isn't exactly deep.

Jake:

It is if you've seen me before coffee.

Amelia:

Dangerous?

Jake:

Apparently.

According to my mother.

Amelia:

You mentioned your mum.

Are you close?

Jake:

Very.

She still thinks she knows everything.

The annoying part is she's usually right.

Amelia:

Mine used to be like that.

...

Sorry.

That sounded strange.

She died when I was fifteen.

Jake:

Amelia...

I'm so sorry.

Amelia:

It's okay.

Most days.

Some days are harder than others.

Jake:

I imagine she'd be incredibly proud of you.

Amelia:

You don't even know me.

Jake:

I've seen enough.

8:15 p.m.

Amelia:

Can I ask something without sounding rude?

Jake:

You can try.

Amelia:

How old are you?

Jake:

Thirty-one.

You?

Amelia:

Twenty-eight.

Good.

You're not secretly sixty-two.

Jake:

Disappointed?

Amelia:

A little.

I enjoy a surprise.

Jake:

I'm afraid my pension isn't due for a while.

8:37 p.m.

Jake:

What are you reading?

Amelia:

A romance.

Please don't judge me.

Jake:

Would it help if I admitted I occasionally read them too?

Amelia:

You're lying.

Jake:

I have sisters.

Books travel.

Amelia:

That's a diplomatic answer.

Jake:

Fine.

I read one.

By accident.

Amelia:

By accident?

Jake:

I picked it up thinking it was a thriller.

The cover was misleading.

Amelia:

You're terrible.

Jake:

It wasn't bad.

Everyone cried.

Then kissed.

Then lived happily ever after.

Amelia:

You've just summarised about seventy percent of the genre.

9:02 p.m.

Jake:

Favourite food?

Amelia:

Lasagne.

Yours?

Jake:

Sunday roast.

Amelia:

That's such a sensible answer.

Jake:

You're judging me.

Amelia:

Slightly.

Jake:

What would have impressed you?

Amelia:

Something exotic.

Jake:

Beans on toast.

Amelia:

There he is.

The real Jake.

9:26 p.m.

Amelia:

Can I tell you something embarrassing?

Jake:

Always.

Amelia:

I nearly didn't come tonight.

Jake:

Really?

Amelia:

I stood in the lift for about thirty seconds arguing with myself.

Jake:

Who won?

Amelia:

Apparently curiosity.

Jake:

I'm glad.

Amelia:

Me too.

9:54 p.m.

Jake:

Can I confess something?

Amelia:

Go on.

Jake:

I arrived twenty-three minutes early.

Amelia:

No.

Jake:

Yes.

Amelia:

Why exactly twenty-three?

Jake:

Because if I say half an hour, you'll think I'm exaggerating.

Amelia:

I think you might be adorable.

...

Pretend I didn't send that.

Again.

Jake:

You're making this very easy for me.

Amelia:

I know.

It's becoming a problem.

10:18 p.m.

Jake:

Can I ask something else?

Amelia:

You're very inquisitive.

Jake:

Occupational hazard.

Amelia:

What's your occupation?

Jake:

Architect.

I own a practice.

Amelia:

Really?

That's actually quite cool.

Jake:

You don't sound convinced.

Amelia:

I was expecting something dramatic.

Spy.

Secret agent.

Pirate.

Jake:

I do occasionally fight with planning permission.

Amelia:

Practically the same thing.

Jake:

Exactly.

Your turn.

Amelia:

Office manager.

Professional diary organiser.

Calendar rescuer.

Occasional therapist.

Full-time tea drinker.

Jake:

That sounds surprisingly demanding.

Amelia:

It is.

I quite love it though.

10:47 p.m.

Jake:

Do you always apologise so much?

Amelia:

...

Excuse me?

Jake:

You apologised four times tonight.

Amelia:

Did I?

Jake:

You apologised because your phone autocorrected.

Then because you thought you'd sent too many messages.

Then because your sandwich wrapper made a noise.

Then because you mentioned your mum.

Amelia:

That's...

Actually quite worrying.

Jake:

You don't need to apologise for existing.

Amelia:

I've never thought of it like that.

11:13 p.m.

Amelia:

Can I ask you something personal?

Jake:

Of course.

Amelia:

Why did you help me?

Really?

Not the polite answer.

The real one.

...

I've been thinking about it all week.

Jake:

I wish I knew.

Amelia:

That's not an answer.

Jake:

It's the only honest one.

I saw someone who looked uncomfortable.

I knew you needed a way out.

Everything after that just...

Happened.

Amelia:

You make it sound very simple.

Jake:

It felt simple.

Amelia:

Thank you.

I don't think anyone's ever looked out for me like that before.

Jake:

You deserved someone to.

11:41 p.m.

Jake:

Random question.

Amelia:

I'm almost afraid.

Jake:

Dog or cat?

Amelia:

Dog.

Always.

Jake:

Excellent.

Amelia:

You sound relieved.

Jake:

I had no plan if you'd said hamster.

Amelia:

What have hamsters done to you?

Jake:

Nothing.

They're just tiny and unpredictable.

Amelia:

That's oddly specific.

Saturday 12:07 a.m.

Amelia:

I should probably go to bed.

Jake:

Probably.

Amelia:

I'm not tired.

Jake:

Neither am I.

12:26 a.m.

Jake:

What's something you've always wanted to do?

Amelia:

See the Northern Lights.

Learn Italian.

Own a cottage with roses around the front door.

You?

Jake:

Travel across Canada.

Learn to surf.

Build my own house one day.

Amelia:

You'll have an unfair advantage.

Jake:

Only slightly.

12:54 a.m.

Amelia:

I've just realised something.

Jake:

Go on.

Amelia:

We've been messaging for nearly five hours.

Jake:

Has it really been that long?

Amelia:

Apparently.

Jake:

It hasn't felt like it.

Amelia:

No.

It really hasn't.

1:22 a.m.

Jake:

Favourite season?

Amelia:

Autumn.

Jumpers.

Cold mornings.

Hot chocolate.

Books.

Everything smells nice.

You?

Jake:

Autumn.

Amelia:

You're copying.

Jake:

I'm agreeing.

There's a difference.

2:01 a.m.

Amelia:

Can I ask something slightly strange?

Jake:

After five hours?

Go ahead.

Amelia:

Do you ever feel like you've known someone longer than you actually have?

There are some people I've worked with for years and conversations still feel awkward.

Talking to you...

Doesn't.

Jake:

I know exactly what you mean.

Amelia:

You do?

Jake:

Yes.

2:44 a.m.

Amelia:

Lucy is going to lose her mind when I tell her I've been messaging you all night.

Jake:

Lucy seems wise.

Amelia:

She thinks she's always right.

Jake:

She and my mother should never meet.

Amelia:

Why?

Jake:

I fear they'd compare notes.

3:18 a.m.

Jake:

Are you awake?

Amelia:

Yes.

You?

Jake:

Unfortunately.

Amelia:

Good.

I'd have felt silly replying otherwise.

3:47 a.m.

Amelia:

I keep looking at the flowers.

Jake:

Are they in your bedroom?

Amelia:

They're on my kitchen table.

Every time I look up, I smile.

Jake:

That was rather the point.

4:26 a.m.

Jake:

We're both going to regret this tomorrow.

Amelia:

Probably.

Worth it though.

Jake:

I was just thinking exactly the same thing.

4:58 a.m.

Amelia:

Can I tell you one last thing before I finally go to sleep?

Jake:

Always.

Amelia:

When you first walked over to my table last week...

I thought you were about to make my evening even worse.

Jake:

Reasonable.

Amelia:

Thirty seconds later I felt safer than I had all night.

I don't know how you managed that.

But...

Thank you.

Again.

Jake:

You never have to thank me for that.

Saturday 5:43 a.m.

Jake:

You're still awake, aren't you?

Amelia:

...

Maybe.

How did you know?

Jake:

Because you took exactly eleven minutes to reply.

You were trying to convince yourself to sleep.

Amelia:

I hate how quickly you've worked me out.

Jake:

I haven't.

Not yet.

Amelia:

Good.

Because I think I'd quite like giving you the chance.

6:03 a.m.

Jake:

Get some sleep, Amelia.

Amelia:

Only if you do too.

Jake:

Deal.

Goodnight.

Or good morning.

I'm honestly not sure which anymore.

Amelia:

Good morning, Jake.

I'm really glad you came back to the pub.

Jake:

So am I.

6:11 a.m.

Amelia:

...

Jake:

Yes?

Amelia:

I forgot to say something.

Jake:

Go on.

Amelia:

I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

Jake:

I have a feeling that's going to be my favourite message for a very long time.