The Voices of Goray

Chapter 2

-You have to go this time.

The familiar voice from back then encouraged his journey. For a split second Es was taken aback, he’s so used to the loudest voice in all of the dunes to send him back, to keep him from walking the dunes.

-This time you have to go Es.

-What if I can’t?

-THEN IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! AHAHAHAHA

Another voice chimed in laughing in bright amusement as sand jumbled and flew across him.

-You left him out here to die ‘’I’ll follow after you’’ AHAHAHAHA AND YOU BELIEVED HIM.

The voices began to mimic the voice of Nao like they had done a million times.

And it never made it any easier. He was sure the dunes had deep down broken his mind.

All of this wasn’t real he thought to himself as the voices tried to get to him with more guilt.

-YOU COULD’VE FOLLOWED HIM; BUT YOU DIDN’T! AHAHAHAHA

-I TRIED!

-AND YOU FAILED!

The voices repeated over and over again, more malicious and faster than the last time, ingraining it into his mind. Es took a nervous step in front of the other and fixated his eyes onto the sand ahead. The sand had gotten blown away and Es could start seeing his own feet again.

-GO!

A dominant voice echoed with a piercing tone across the entire landscape that could’ve split entire mountains.

Es feet dragged through the heavy mounds of sand. Every turn he watched as his surroundings got swallowed the further he walked. He could hear the sands being thrown and smashed around him, whipping against his linen like heavy shackles.

- He is gone. Dead, my dear.

Quiet whispers soared through the dunes.

- And soon you will be too. THEY ALL WILL BE!

The voice grew louder as the wind carried it through the dunes into the distance.

The taunting of his fears and guilt, eating its way into Es’ mind.

He’s walked for hours now, tossing and turning, trying to dodge every small tornado on its way to him. Es clung to his layers as he continued a few steps further, gripping his bag tightly. Fighting against the draft of being toppled back over smashed into the sand.

He watched as his footsteps left deeper prints, as the sand tried to bury him alive.

Weary eyes scanned the dried out dead wasteland of the dunes.

- You need to go on.

- You need to be quiet.

- We will never be!!!

The sand raged on and with a swift shift in wind it pushed Es onto his back.

He could hear laughter through the entire terrain, echoing through the wind.

- Teach him how worthy it is to die for him.

Sand was piling up to form around Es’ legs while he tried to get back up.

- You would die such an honorable death. A sacrifice for an untrue love.

- ENOUGH!

Es gripped at the sand and threw it out into the wind of the dust, as if it would hurt.

It only had been a few days but Es felt exhausted and defeated. He doubted himself that he could reach Rach in time.

- You know, everything dies eventually, Eseah. Even an Eternal will die at some point you know.

A soothing voice enthralled him, keeping him in place stuck to the sand like glue as the sand rose higher. Pouring over him as if it were about to cast him in. He tried to move and shove parts away, while more sand kept moving closer.

- It is useless to resist, Eseah. We both are aware of that.

- You use him as a crutch, as if he’s the reason, though you’ve always been miserable, from the day you were born to the day that you die.

- You will stay here, in agony, you will be ours. For eternity.

Es gave in as the sand storm came closer while he was becoming engulfed further by the sand, trying to keep his linen over his face.

- Oh the looks on their faces when their last hope doesn’t show up.

- You failed them all, dear boy.

- Nobody can come and save you.

While the sand had covered Es further, cutting through his linen and skin, he held his breath, hopelessly wishing on a miracle. Outlines of figures danced around him, vanishing between the dust and storm around him. Sand gathered into a silhouette and broke apart back into its original form. Es was sure this was his final end. Taken by the dunes, like the many lives it had claimed before.

While he was coming to terms with his final fate, with his arms covering his face, out in the distance he could’ve sworn he saw someone standing out there.

It was unusual to find anyone else out in the dunes.

Most stories he heard about were about people getting lost and losing their minds and direction in them. It was a thought that weighed on him heavily.

- HELP ME! I beg of you.

Es called out into the direction of where he saw the person standing.

- I can’t help you with that.

He heard his own voice echo through the fog. Fear struck through his body as he realized he was experiencing what countless others encountered out in the dunes that came back as broken fragments of themselves. The storm got more violent as he heard it twist and smack against its own surfaces.

***

- You’re doing it again.

- Doing what?

- That thing you do when you doubt yourself.

- I never doubt myself.

- Your eyes give you away Es.

Nao sat next to Es onto the grass and placed his head on Es’ shoulder.

He sighed and took Es hand, tracing the palm with his fingertips.

- I just. I just want to know why you took the power.

Nao perked slightly up.

- Because it’s mine? Why else would I do something as stupid as that?

- It could destroy everything around us.

- That’s not how that works, Es. The Power of Goray was never meant to destroy anything. We’re not the lineage of Birgu. It’s weird how you’d expect someone of the Amori descent to be more...nonjudgmental.

Es turned over to Nao with slight offense.

- YOU DIDN’T LOSE YOUR ENTIRE LINEAGE.

- But I gained a new faith.

Nao squeezed Es' hand tightly and he reciprocated the squeeze. They leaned back and looked up into the sky, watching the stars dance with one another. Nao’s hair occasionally brushed against Es’ face and he’d gracefully tried to push it off.

- I’m sorry about what happened to them, you know?

- It’s not your fault. It was bound to happen. The disease would’ve come like it does every time. The cycle of rebirth. The Eons to come without.

- I’m glad it didn’t take you though.

- I feel sorry for myself.

- You shouldn’t, the last surviving one has the most important role. To prepare the new lineage.

- I should have died. I can’t even go and take Amori’s power. I’m such a useless survivor.

- The time will come, when you will be deemed the last hope.

Es sighed and turned to his side, feeling as if Nao didn’t understand what he was trying to convey. The hopelessness of being the last one of his kind and not even one of the better ones. He could hardly convey love like his other ancestors could. His power was no use to save a world or be a hero. All he could do was nurture. It seemed useless to him when there was nothing left to nurture.

- I think I’d make a terrible last hope.

- To me you wouldn’t.

Nao wrapped an arm around Es' shoulder and gave him a peck on the cheek.

- I believe in you.

- A God that believes in a full blood. The irony.

- It’s not irony, it's common sense.

***

A loud gasp of air shot Es out of his flashback, he felt something pull him out with ease. The firm grip of a hand, but Es' vision was too clouded by the fog to see the outline, even though the hand felt so familiar to him.

- I’ve told you many times, you shouldn’t be here. Nor anywhere close to the gates.

Es froze as he tried to follow the voice that shot his heart into overdrive.

- Es, you need to leave. You’re going to get yourself killed.

- Nao…

- Go back Es. I’ve told you millions of times to not do this. Over and over again. I don’t care about your scoundrel jobs.

He tried to keep his focus on Nao's silhouette that kept going further and further into the distance. Es followed to outlines that he could make out, a shadow or possibly Nao’s hair flowing across the sands.

- Don’t follow me, go back. Go home.

- YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.

- Oh I don’t want to understand why you continue to walk these dunes.

- Stay with me! Don’t leave me here. I can get us both out!

Es blinked and lost sight of Nao...Once again, he lost him out here, in the middle of nowhere again. He covered his face with a layer of his linen and hung his head. Heartbroken by the second departure. Was it even really Nao? Or was he his mirage, what he deep down wished. Maybe nothing actually pulled him out and it was just the entire hallucinogenic experience. But nonetheless it made him feel worse than before.

His feet dragged on for countless more days with additional breaks, dodging and fighting off the voices of self doubt and fear. He wasn’t sure if he had lost his way or not, though he should have at least seen the outlines of the walls out in the distance during clear skies.

He sighed and took out his compass and map, tracing the way he walked. The compass would not move a bit. Annoyed and aggravated Es threw the compass out into the sand, without noticing that the compass went wild into every direction the second it hit the ground.

Es hand touched the map to activate the Eternal ink that gave him a sense of which path he should follow. The only downside was, he might be a few distances away from his actual path, causing undeniable delay to reach any sight of the walls that bordered Kingdom Rach.

The voices that followed him were indistinguishable as he continued on through blazing storms and heat. Every now and then a heatwave passed him by making it harder to breathe. The more storms emerged the harder it got for Es to follow his path. A gust of wind made way into a different direction. He felt uneasy but he had been too exhausted to fight off the storms any longer, so he took the slight turn of direction, in hopes to be able to stay clear of the storms.

He was able to take a few breaks, set up camp in certain open spaces that weren’t touched by the storm. The sand appeared quiet in front of him, the nights were freezing, though he took that bargain for the less harsh part of the dunes.

Slowly but steadily after a few more days of this, he managed to reach at least a distance to notice the front of Rach’s stone walls along the horizon. He gasped in relief, holding his knees as he stopped for a moment to appreciate the wind funnel that led him here. Before carrying on Es looked back once more, a sad expression formed on his face as he was reminded of seeing Nao’s mirage out there.

But there was no time to dwell on that matter, he must’ve already been gone too long, considering he probably should have been on his way back to Eray again. His legs were tired and his skin felt on fire. Just a bit more, he kept encouraging himself.

Just a...little while...longer…

Es fell to his knees and landed face first into the sand, exhausted. He must have laid there for hours stuck, tired and of no strength to get back up. A figure came running from the sides of the wind funnel, the figure sighed with heavy physical preparation to lift Es across his shoulders horizontally. The indistinguishable figure held onto his arms and legs, dragging Es across the dunes with heavy footprints pressing firmly into the sand.

The figure carried Es for days through the sand. Es would occasionally open his eyes but slump back into his exhausted unconsciousness, hardly any time to recover from the dunes. He felt the highs and lows of crossing the dunes, but Es didn’t seem to realize he was being carried through the dunes. The figure could’ve been from Birgu, maybe the wind funnel was one of their territories. Maybe they were here thinking he was a spy to scout out their plans for the dunes. But it did not appear as if the slender figure had anything to do with the Birgu, when they reached the final wall.

The figure walked up to one of the huge boulders connected to the wall and knocked on it with determined desperate fast motions. The boulder gave off a bright glow forming a large square as the cogs in it started to turn. Whoever carried Es this far seemed to be determined to have only Es found.

- BY THE GRACES!

Two guards of the Goray Eternals ran out to find Es laying on the sand unconscious and exhausted.

- YOU THERE; YOU SHOULDN’T BE OUT HERE!

One of the two guards shouted out to the silhouette the footsteps led back to, but as soon as he finished calling out to him the figure already disappeared back into the storm.

- Get him inside quickly!

The two guards looked at each other while grabbing onto Es and stared out into the dunes shaking their heads. With a sturdy heave they lifted Es and carried him into the cavern passage. Sand had stuck to Es’ face and caught in the strands of his hair. The grains had been so bad, that they were everywhere, covering his linen, his cuts.

- ONE’S HERE!

A rather well built guard yelled out to the entrance, his dark linen coat flowing with each haste step along the way. The other guard lifted Es up, that fell in and out of consciousness, his vision a blur. He carried the poor guy all the way out of the cavern, placing him into the grass outside.

A small woman ran up to the guards and bowed to them, showing her palm to the well built guard, which in return gestured to Es on the floor. A commotion had gathered around the entrance of the cavern. People had begun to stare, everyone watching and praying it might not be once again a person that made it through with a broken mind.

- Is he alright?

- Did he make it?

- Who is he?

- Is it one of ours?

The small woman with bright red hair knelt down and touched Es' hand. She shook her head.

- He’s not one of ours, but he seems to be alright.

The people sighed in huge relief, hearing that the man had made it through alright. She moved her palm over Es’ face, clearing his cuts of the stubborn grains of sand before gently moving her fingertips across them to heal.

- He needs rest.

She exclaimed before wiping down the rest of the sand out of Es’ linen and wiped her own palms off on her silver wrapped silk dress. The two guards nodded and picked Es up from the grass.

- We’ll bring him to the apothecary, he should be able to rest there, without any disturbance. Thank you, your Grace, Princess Alsia.

Alsia nodded gently to the guards before getting up from her knees and fixed her shoulder length rose red hair. A moon shaped mark graced the inside of her palm.

The guards carried Es into the side street of Rach, to a corner shop that held the apothecary.

- He was found in the dunes.

They both exclaimed to the empty counter. Out of a back door behind the counter a small gentle old man with small round glasses on top of the tip of his nose walked out.

- Bring him in, bring him in, don’t let him dangle there!

The man gestured with eccentricity at the back door, the guards followed his hospitality. Es groaned a few times before they laid him onto a small bed.

- What, what happened?

Es mumbled quietly, rubbing his eyes in hopes to fix his blur.

- Quiet boy, you look absolutely horrendous, I could ask you the same. For now, you need rest though.

The old man walked with haste steps to a small sink and filled a bucket of water and shooed the two guard.

- Go, you have other duties, you can’t help me here any further.

The guards nodded with slight offense but did so as they were told and headed back to their post. The old man took a linen towel from a small cabinet and dipped it into the bucket of water which he placed next to the bed. He sat down and dabbed Es’ forehead with much caution. Es’ muscles gave in, under the comfort of a bed that he hadn’t had for weeks.

He did not fight the old man's care nor did he feel like arguing his way through exhaustion.

- That’s right, take as long as you need.

The man reassured him, while washing his face with the water.

***

The splashing water of Lake of Kreto filled Es’ ears as his nose breathed in the scent of freshwater. A huge splash flew across his back. He let out a laugh and ducked down to get a good head start with his arms to gather water. With a calculated turn he moved the water, turned around and flung it across Nao’s direction.

- Watch the clothes!

Nao exclaimed laughing and pointed his finger next to the edge of the Lake where they had folded their clothes neatly onto the big rocks.

- It's warm, you’re just scared. That you have to walk around in wet clothes, you can’t use that as an excuse on a warm day like this.

- OH I CAN AND I JUST DID.

Es laughed and flung further water into Nao’s direction. Nao had braided his hair to one side, letting a few strands hang loose, framing his face with gentle yet strong masculine features. Es watched drops of water run down his cheek, tracing his jawline and dripping off onto his defined chest. For a moment he looked down at his own rather lanky average chest.

- Stop that. You’re fine. You know I can literally hear your thoughts.

Es stopped and looked at him with shock. Thinking about all the things he ever thought about involving Nao. Now shame crossed his face.

- I’m joking! But your face is so priceless that now I wish I could. But alas, I’m not the God of Irlude, unfortunately.

Embarrassed, Es took a relieving breath. Though he knew his face now gave him away.

- So will you tell me what you thought?

- No.

- Why not, we're free.

- Some thoughts just shouldn’t be free.

- Some Gods shouldn’t be free either but here we are, free surrounded by Gods.

- You are the only God running free, with undiluted power.

- I know, right? It feels so good!

Nao threw himself backwards into the water as he let himself float. Water crossed his chest in small waves, like weaving silk to a mannequin. Es stood there frozen, trying not to get caught staring, looking down himself into the water while trying to get more secret glimpses of Nao’s body. He moved his feet against the small river rocks, stubbing his toes on purpose every time his eyes were about to hit lower than he would want to let himself allow.

Nao closed his eyes, staying on his back drifting around in the lake.

- Remember I said I can feel you wanting something?

- I guess?

Es tried to keep his gaze focused in the water rather than to look up at Nao, which had drifted closer to him.

- Well that was actually true. I can.

With shame, Es looked out to the edge of the lake, if he ran now, he might be able to salvage any last pride he had in himself. But it was too late, Nao shifted behind, wrapped his arms around Es and pressed himself to the back of him. Es’ heart skipped a beat as he covered his mouth in reflex to hold back a gasp. Nao leaned against Es’ ear and whispered with a tiny smirk in his voice.

- All those millennia and… you never did it, have you?

- There never was a reason to… you know.

Es grew nervous in Nao’s embrace, feeling his breath against his neck, his front every now and then bumping into his lower back by the motion of the water. With each touch Es' breaths got quicker and his heart felt like skipping all over the place. His cheeks were burning, his legs wanted to give out from under himself. But Nao held him close, to not let him fall.

- What if I let you in on a secret? Would that help?

Es swallowed for a second while his thoughts couldn’t keep his focus, every time Nao’s front grazed his back, he’d lose himself. The anticipation, the urge to just turn around and actually face Nao this close. He kept his silence in sheer embarrassment.

- I want the same.

Nao turned Es’ with a quick swing around, gripping him by his waist with one hand and placing the other against Es’ jaw. Before he could protest or react, Nao had already placed his tender defined lips against Es’. Time stood still as Es’ wanted the lake to swallow him whole while Nao pulled his waist closer to his. In a passionate mesmerizing kiss, Es’ felt electricity shoot through his veins while with each movement of Nao kissing him with pure intensity, their members touching.

***

With an intense gasp for air Es’ woke up out of his deep sleep in the dark back of the apothecary, sweating profusely. He reached next to the bed for the bucket of water, but was so out of it, he couldn’t get a hold of the cloth to dab himself with, so he just cupped his hand and splashed it onto his face. Es’ couldn’t remember how long he’s been resting here. Nor how much time has passed. It was still dark outside, which confirmed to him, he shouldn’t be wandering around late at night around the Kingdom. He collected his thoughts after the intense flashback that took him back to Nao.

With a small frown he leaned his head back onto the linen pillow and stared at the ceiling.

Hours passed until he heard the first townspeople walk through the alleyway underneath the window. He got up and watched the sun rise across the horizon. With mental strength he managed to get out of the bed carefully.

- Oh, by the graces, you’re back to your strength.

An old familiar man ran into the room clasping his hands. Es gave him an affirmed nod and looked out of the window.

- You want to head out already so soon?

- I’m in Rach, am I ?

- Of course, dear boy. You came from the dunes. Don’t you remember, collapsed at the gate like a sack of old stale potatoes.

He exclaimed with a heavy laugh.

- I don’t remember getting here.

- Well I am Alstor, the Kingdom’s Apothecary.

- I’m Es. I come from Eray.

- My dear, that must’ve been quite the trip then, the guards said you came from the direction of Dabur. Not really on the path from Eray.

- There was a wind funnel- I.. I didn’t know where I was. I just remember following the wind funnel.

- A wind funnel? By the graces I haven’t heard of one of these in centuries. You must’ve had a guardian watching over you. Nobody usually uses the path from Dabur to get to Rach. It’s way too long.

- Well I wasn’t even aware I was on that path, last thing I remember is the wind funnel and as soon as I saw the borders on the horizon, my legs gave up on me. I never realized I reached the gate.

Alstor fixed his medical coat and sat down on one of the crates holding multiple ointment and looked at Es.

- According to rumors passed by the guards from that day, someone was with you. We sent a few Goray out there to check if they couldn’t have gotten far, but the search had been uneventful.

- I highly doubt I opened the gate myself.

- Because you didn’t, my boy. The guards heard a desperate knocking on the gate and opened it themselves.

- Did anybody see the person?

- Nobody could make out what they saw, they also claimed it could’ve just been an illusion and that you may have collapsed right after knocking. And I don’t think anybody found a wind funnel either out there. You’re one of the lucky ones. Besides the exhaustion and the cuts that Princess Alsia healed. You were unharmed.

Es sighed and stared back at the window. He slightly slumped into himself.

- I need to head out, somebody must be waiting on me.

- You shouldn’t go so soon. You only just got your strength back.

- I need to go back soon though.

- You need rest, my boy. You can’t possibly make another trip out into the dunes. I can get you a place at the Inn, close to the town square. Let it be my treat.

- I can’t accept that, you shouldn’t.

- Yes I will. Just you go out there, tread your legs a bit to make sure all your muscles still work right. Before you go, make sure to have a cup of tea.

The old man pushed up his glasses that kept sliding back to the tip of his nose as he got up and walked back out to the counter. He came back and handed Es a metal cup.

- My wife’s favourite. Honeydew.

He smiled at Es before vanishing back into the front room. Es nodded appreciative and took a sip, letting the sweet tea warm his entire being. His eyes wandered the room and stopped at a mirror hanging above the sink. The mirror seemed rusted at the corners and water stained it’s surface.

With a nearby cloth Es started to wipe the mirror clean, staring at his reflection. His face looked sunken, still tired. Short bushy blond hair stuck to his forehead. In desperate need of a bath. Though he hated the thought of it, as it made him remember Nao. Nervous fingertips grazed his chin, while thinking of how badly he missed being pulled to the side against a willow tree with passion. Nao was always full of these spontaneous things that always kept Es on his toes. Never knowing what he’d do next. For millennia he thought living so long made everything boring. Pale and void of the vibrancy of life. But Nao? He was exciting, electrifying and that made it all worthwhile to Es.

A heavy sigh left his cracked lips as he began to rub his face, trying to appear more clean. The reflection in the mirror appeared so empty to him. As if he carried his entire own lineage on his back, which he kind of did.

- If only I knew you were still out there for sure.

Es turned from the sink and grabbed his cup of tea again and took a huge sip, emptying it and washed it under the sink to place it neatly onto the edge. He made his way to the door, hastily putting on his shoes and grabbing his bag. The front room of the apothecary smelled like various ointments and medicinal herbs, making Es a tinge light headed as the scent flew past him.

The old man was hidden behind the shelves searching for something, a quiet old lady waited patiently, she nodded at Es to which he nodded back before disappearing through the shop entrance. With a deep breath Es took in the air outside, kicking tiny rocks across the bricked pavement. He watched countless people pass by, taking a look at him, exchanging quiet whispers with faces of relief. He appeared to leave quite the impression after his entrance to Rach.