Bittersweet

Not Disposable

Cordelia Romona’s POV

"Fottuta feccia, non sono usa e getta!" ( f*****g scum, I am not disposable!) I mumbled in anger, Nicolo met my side as I walked out angrily. Luciano knew I was different from the others, tougher and I knew my worth, for him to treat me as some disposable baby mama is ridiculous! I groan in anger as my breathing becomes stronger and more strained. I’ll show him disposable. 

Quickly making my steps down the spiral steel staircase, Nicolo struggled to keep up. Darting down the hall I disappeared into a room, I haven’t been in before. A smirk fell on my face as I saw all the loaded machinery, “ Sentirai il fuoco nella mia anima…” ( You will feel the fire within my soul…) Pulling a gun off the shelf, I c****d it and opened the door, and continued walking back down the corridor to where Nicolo was. Seeing the gun in my hand he frowned, “ Delia? What are you doing?” He asked with his thick Italian accent. 

“ Togliti di mezzo, Nic. “ ( Get out of my way, Nic.) I said firmly as I raised the gun to him, they wanted an obedient baby mama and someone to take the bullet. Well, it sure as hell won’t be me. Nicolo sighed and stepped aside with his hands up, I made my way back up the stairs and into Lucian’s office, without knocking I barged in and had an evil glint behind my eyes. “ Che stai facendo, Cordelia?” ( What are you doing, Cordelia?) Luciano asked with slight amusement.

"Mostrandoti quanto sono disponibile." ( Showing you how disposable I am.) I said with a hurt tone, maybe I was too emotional, but within the month he had taken everything from me. My home, my family, my life, and even my will. What’s the point? He frowned slightly and stood from his chair and moved out from behind his desk, “ Don’t be stupid, Fiore.” ( Flower )

A chuckle escaped me as if I had gone completely insane, but grief did remarkable things to the human soul. “ You don’t get to say that to me...Not after EVERYTHING, you have put me through within the past month!” I yelled, my voice breaking ever so slightly but I’m positive he had caught it because his face softened but his eyes were still cold and dark. “ You bought me! You branded me! You forced me into an engagement! Then treat me as I’m some disposable woman...If I’m so disposable you can just buy a new one.” I growled as I raised the gun to my temple. 

Luciano’s eyes widened at the gesture, but his voice remained calm, “ Flower...You’re not disposable...You have to understand that I’m only looking out for your best interest.” He said as he took a step closer to me. I shook my head, “ No.” I took a step back and lowered the gun, “ My best interest would be to let me go. I wouldn’t be in any danger if it wasn’t for you in the first place!” I stated, “ Plus you want me to produce an heir for you within the next year which means you have to f**k me soon and knock me up, then as soon as that boy is born...I’ll be killed.” I said emotionlessly as my gaze dropped to the floor in pain. 

I didn’t fear death, I did fear not getting the chance to live. 

Before I could even blink I was quickly disarmed and pinned against the wall, “ Non sei usa e getta...Sei il mio fiore e presto la madre dei nostri figli. Non voglio nessun altro.” ( You are not disposable...You are my flower, and soon-to-be mother of our children. I don’t want anybody else.) 

My head fell into my hands and for once I let it all out, I cried, An unexpectedly, he held me, stiffly at first but soon tightened his grip and held onto her as if his life depended on it. My head fell into his chest as I sobbed, I missed my life. I missed being normal and not having to watch people get tortured or killed before my eyes. Although I struggling before to keep my head above water...I’d rather struggle than give up in defeat. I’m stronger than that. 

I knew what I would do next because a part of me just wanted to get things over with, and another part of me just wanted it to be lustful and passionate.