Playing for keeps

Chapter 1

I always thought the first time I gave myself to someone would feel… bigger.

Not louder. Not dramatic. Just bigger—like the world shifting into place in a way I’d recognize instantly. Like I’d finally stepped into the version of myself everyone else seemed to already be living.

Instead, I was standing in front of my mirror, second-guessing the hemline of a dress I’d already changed three times.

Too short.

No—too safe.

I turned sideways, smoothing my hands over my hips, over the soft fabric hugging my body like it knew what tonight meant even if I didn’t. Black. Simple. Thin straps. It made my skin look warmer, my legs longer.

Sexy, but not trying too hard.

At least… that was the goal.

I exhaled slowly and leaned closer to the mirror, finishing the last touches of my makeup. My curls fell in loose waves around my shoulders, dark brown against the pale blue of my eyes. People always noticed my eyes first. I didn’t know why. Maybe because they gave away too much.

Tonight, they looked nervous.

“Get it together, Ella,” I muttered.

You’re twenty-three. Not sixteen.

But that didn’t stop my heart from racing like I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life.

Or the biggest decision.

Same thing, maybe.

I grabbed my clutch, checked my phone one last time—no new messages—and headed out.

The drive to his house felt longer than usual.

Every red light stretched forever, every turn second-guessed. By the time I pulled into his driveway, my palms were damp and my throat felt tight.

He didn’t know.

I hadn’t told him.

I wanted it to just… happen. To feel natural. To not turn into some big, awkward conversation that would make it weird.

I wanted to choose this.

Him.

Tonight.

I grabbed my purse and stepped out, heels clicking softly against the pavement. His house lights were on, music faintly drifting through the front windows.

Good. He’s home.

That should’ve comforted me.

It didn’t.

Something felt off before I even reached the door. Maybe it was the way the music sounded—too loud, too careless. Or maybe it was just my brain trying to give me an out.

I almost knocked.

Almost.

But the door was unlocked when I tried it.

I frowned.

“Hello?” I called as I stepped inside.

No answer.

The music got louder as I moved further in, heels sinking into the soft carpet. I took a few more steps, heart picking up again—but not in the excited way it had been earlier.

This felt… different.

Then I heard it.

A laugh.

Not mine.

Not his alone.

A girl’s.

And something inside me went cold.

I didn’t think.

I just followed the sound.

Down the hallway.

Closer.

Closer—

And then I saw them.

Everything after that felt like it happened underwater.

Slow.

Muted.

Wrong.

He was on the couch.

She was on his lap.

Her hands in his hair.

His hands—

I didn’t stay long enough to see where his hands were.

I didn't need to.

The air left my lungs like I’d been punched. My fingers tightened around my clutch so hard it hurt, but I couldn’t feel it. Couldn’t feel anything except the sudden, sharp fracture in my chest.

He didn’t notice me at first.

Of course he didn’t.

Why would he?

I wasn’t supposed to be there.

I wasn’t supposed to ruin whatever this was.

But then his eyes flicked up—and everything changed.

“Ella—”

I turned before he could say anything else.

Before he could explain.

Before he could lie.

I didn’t remember driving away.

I just remember the way my hands shook so badly I had to pull over halfway down the street.

I sat there, engine running, staring at nothing.

My phone buzzed in my lap.

His name lit up the screen.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

I declined every call.

Then it started buzzing again.

Again.

Again—

“Stop,” I whispered, pressing my palm to my forehead.

My vision blurred.

I needed—

I didn’t even know what I needed.

Comfort.

Distraction.

Something solid.

Someone safe.

My fingers moved before I fully thought it through, scrolling through my contacts until I hit a name I knew by heart.

Zane.

My brother.

The one person who would drop everything.

The one person who would fix this.

The phone rang once.

Twice.

Then—

“Yeah?”

But it wasn’t Zane’s voice.

It was deeper.

Rougher.

Familiar in a way that made something twist unexpectedly in my chest.

Roman.

Of course.

They were probably together.

I swallowed hard, trying to speak.

Nothing came out.

“Ella?” His tone shifted instantly. Sharper. Focused. “What’s wrong?”

That did it.

The tears came before I could stop them.

“I—” My voice cracked. “I can’t— He—”

“Hey. Hey.” He didn’t sound panicked. He never did. That was the thing about Roman—everything about him felt controlled, steady, dangerous in the way calm storms are. “Where are you?”

“I—I don’t know, I just— I left and—”

“Look around.”

I forced myself to blink through the blur, squinting at the street sign across from me.

“Maple,” I whispered. “Near—near that bar, the one on—”

“I know where it is.”

Of course he did.

Roman knew everything.

“Stay there,” he said, voice dropping slightly. Not softer—just more certain. “Don’t go anywhere. I’m coming to get you.”

My breath hitched.

“You don’t have to—”

“I know.”

A beat.

Then, quieter—

“But I am.”

The line went dead.

I didn’t realize how hard I was crying until I tried to get out of the car.

My legs felt unsteady, my chest tight, like every inhale scraped on the way in. The bar was dimly lit, warm compared to the cool night air, but I felt detached from all of it.

Like I didn’t belong anywhere right now.

I slid into a seat at the far end, arms wrapped around myself as if I could hold myself together long enough not to fall apart completely.

Minutes passed.

Or maybe longer.

I wasn’t sure.

Until suddenly—

He was there.

Roman.

And everything shifted again.

He didn’t say anything at first.

Just looked at me.

Really looked.

His jaw tightened almost instantly, something dark flashing behind his eyes. Not confusion. Not surprise.

Anger.

“Who did it?” he asked.

Simple.

Controlled.

Terrifying.

I swallowed hard, shaking my head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, taking a step closer. “It does.”

I looked up at him fully then, and it hit me—really hit me—for the first time.

Roman wasn’t just my brother’s best friend.

Wasn’t just the guy who’d been around forever.

He was… something else now.

Bigger.

Sharper.

More dangerous.

And the way he was looking at me?

It didn’t feel like how someone looks at a little sister.

Not anymore.

“Come on,” he said, softer now, holding his hand out. “You’re not staying here.”

My fingers hovered for just a second.

Then I took it.