Angel's Demon

12. Voices-2

“Oh, that. Um, I was just thinking about … my homework.”

Sarah had studied the art of body language. Andy had displayed three indicators that suggested he may be lying. She didn’t know him well enough yet to determine if he really was lying, yet her intuition told her he was.

“Andy, do you know why you’re here?” Sarah asked.

“Because of what happened on Monday.”

“Would you like to tell me what happened on Monday?”

“No,” Andy replied, folding his arms across his chest.

“That’s okay, I can read the referral,” Sarah said. She’d already read the referral, but wasn’t going to let Andy know that. “I just thought you might like to give me your account of what happened. The doctor will probably be cold and clinical in his report. He might say things like possible child abuse or schizophrenia.”

“I haven’t been abused and I’m not crazy!” Andy yelled.

Settle down, the voice said. You’re giving me a headache again.

“Shut up!” Andy yelled.

“Calm down, Andy,” Sarah said in a low and soothing voice. “I’m not suggesting any of those things, but the doctor might. You could really help me to help you by telling me what happened on Monday.”

Andy sighed. “Can Mum come in now?”

“Absolutely, “Sarah said. “I’ll go and get her.”

Andy couldn’t help but laugh as he watched Sarah get out of the beanbag. She waved her arms around wildly. The motion reminded Andy of a turtle stuck on its back. After a couple of seconds Sarah realised she wasn’t getting the momentum she needed, so she rolled out of the beanbag onto all fours. It wasn’t a very dignified way to get up, but it never failed to amuse her patients — she was a child psychologist after all.

Sarah opened the door and peeked around into the waiting area. Lilly was seated and bouncing her legs up and down. A sure sign of nervousness, given Andy’s history. She wondered if the condition worsened at night. Possible restless legs syndrome sufferer, Sarah thought to herself. She chided herself for such thoughts — she was being just as cold and clinical as the doctor in Andy’s referral.

“Lilly,” Sarah said, “Andy would like you to come in now.”

Lilly stood up, smiled and headed in Sarah’s direction. She was somewhat gobsmacked by the seating arrangements. Thank God I wore slacks today, she thought.

When they were all seated, Sarah continued. “Now, Andy, you were going to tell me what happened on Monday.”

Andy looked at his mum and she nodded her head.

“Um, well, it’s like this …” Andy sighed again.

Get on with it and tell the shrink already, the voice said.

“She’s not a shrink,” Andy corrected the voice, “she’s a psychologist.”

“Andy, who are you talking to?” Sarah asked, though she had a good idea it was one of the voices mentioned in the referral.

“Sarah,” Andy replied.

“Yes, my name is Sarah, but what’s the name of the other person you’re talking to?”

Lilly looked from Andy to Sarah. She was beginning to think there was something seriously wrong with Andy. His body might be whole again, but his mind was fractured. How did you put something back together that you couldn’t see?

Andy talked slowly, to try and make it as clear as possible, “I … am … talking … to … Sarah.”

Sarah shook her head. They were getting nowhere. Andy could see this wasn’t working. How else could he explain it?

“In here,” he tapped the side of his head. “Sarah is in here and I’m talking to her.”

“You mean the voice in your head has a name, and its name is Sarah?” Sarah asked.

“Her, not it,” Andy corrected, “and yes, her name is Sarah.”

“What about the other voices? Do they have names?”

“There’s only one other voice. I don’t know its name, though.”

“It?” Sarah asked. “The other voice isn’t human?”

“They talk in my head, but they sound like me. I have no idea if the other voice is a boy or a girl.”

Andy heard laughing in his head. Was it Sarah’s laughter? It certainly wasn’t his.

Doug, a voice piped up. My name is Doug. Sarah’s been filling me in on what’s going on. I was having an x-ray. Apparently they interfere with thought-talk.

“Thought-talk?” Andy said out loud.

Yeah, the voice said, that’s what we call how we talk to each other, in our heads.

“Andy, are you okay?” Sarah asked.

“Um … Doug,” Andy said. It was hard keeping up with two different conversations at the same time. “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

“Andy, this is getting a bit confusing. I’d like you to try to focus on the people in this room — your mum, yourself and me. Do you think you can do that?” Sarah asked.

“Okay, I’ll try,” Andy said.

“Good. Now, you mentioned thought-talk. What is that exactly?”

“It’s how the voices talk to me,” Andy replied.

“And Doug?”

“He’s the other voice. He just told me his name.”

Sarah wanted to check that she had the facts right. “It’s just the two voices. One is called Sarah, and the other is Doug.”

“Yes,” Andy replied, nodding his head.

“How long have you been hearing Sarah and Doug’s voices?”

“About a month, I guess. I didn’t mark it on the calendar or anything like that.”

“And what happened on Monday?”

“I’d just had enough,” Andy sighed. “I thought maybe I was sick again and told the voices to shut up.”

“And did they?”

“Yeah, until today.”

“Why did they start up again today?”

“Because I said Sarah out loud.”

Are you doing the thought-talk out loud? one of the voices asked. No wonder they think you’re crazy.

“And the voice with the name Sarah thought you were talking to her?” Sarah asked.

“Yes.”

“Are they talking to you right now?”

“One of them just said they’re not surprised you think I’m crazy,” Andy replied.

That’s not what I said, the voice butted in.

“It’s close enough,” Andy replied.

“Andy, focus please,” Sarah said.

“I’m not crazy. How can I prove it?”

Sarah thought for a moment about how someone might be able to provide a plausible explanation for hearing voices. What if … what if he really was hearing voices? Real voices.

“I’d like to talk to one of your voices,” Sarah said. “Is it okay if I talk to one of them?”

That took Andy by surprise. “You mean you want to talk to Sarah or Doug?”

“Yes, I would,” Sarah replied. “How would I go about doing that?”

“I don’t know how you can talk to them. I don’t even know how they dialled into my head.”

She can call me on the phone, one of the voices said.

“Which one are you?” Andy asked. “You both sound like me, in my head.”

Yeah, that’s a bit of a bummer. When it was only Doug and me it was easy. With three of us it’s a bit harder. You both sound just like me.

Andy ignored the voice in his head, so that he could relay the important part. “Sarah says you can call her.”

“I can call her?” Sarah asked, looking astonished. “On the telephone?”

“Yes. Can I have a pen and piece of paper please?”

Sarah ripped out a sheet of paper from the notepad that was sitting on her lap and handed it to Andy, along with a pen.

“What’s your number?” Andy asked. He wrote down the number that popped in his head. “You have your own mobile phone?”

Doesn’t everyone our age? the voice asked.

“No,” Andy said. “What’s that number again?”

Andy double-checked the number against what he’d written down. “Got it.” He smiled as he handed the paper and pen back to Sarah. If this worked, they’d know he wasn’t mad.

“Shall we give the number a call?” Sarah asked. She rolled out of the beanbag, walked over to her desk and picked up the receiver of her phone. She dialled the number and put the call on speaker. It was ringing. After three rings a girl answered.

“Hello, Sarah,” the girl said. “My name’s Sarah too.”

This was a little weird, but probably not unexplainable. Perhaps Andy had set-up a little hoax, to test her. She’d find out soon enough, with a little test of her own.

Andy was amazed that the voice was coming from a real person. Sarah didn’t sound anything like him on the phone. So that’s what her real voice sounds like, he thought to himself. I guess it was stupid to think she’d sound like me out loud.

“I have you on speaker phone, Sarah. Do you want to say hello to your friend?”

“I don’t even know her name,” the young Sarah said. “I told her my name, but she never told me hers.”

“Andy, say hello to Sarah.”

“Hi, Sarah,” he said, waving at the phone.

Doug, it’s a boy, an excited Sarah said in his head. HHHis name is Andy and I think we know him.

“Of course I’m a boy,” Andy said. “Wait a minute, you know me?”

“Stop talking out loud, Andy,” the young Sarah said over the phone. “You just have to think at us and we can hear you. That’s why we call it thought-talk.”

“Oh, that explains it,” Andy laughed.

“Did we just miss something?” Lilly asked. She had been quiet since she’d sat in the beanbag, just listening to what was going on.

“Sorry, Mum. Sarah thought I was a girl,” Andy replied, laughing again, “and apparently I should be thinking at them instead of talking to them out loud.”

Young Sarah laughed out loud. Doug joined in with his own laughter, in their heads. This was crazy.

“Sarah and Andy, I need some way to prove this isn’t a hoax. Would you be willing to undergo a little test?” Sarah asked.

“Sure,” they both replied.

Sarah rummaged around in one of the desk drawers and took out some flash cards. She held up one card for Andy to see.

“Bird,” Andy said.

“It doesn’t work that way, Andy,” Sarah laughed. “I’m going to give you a pen and paper. You need to write down something you associate with the picture, then think what you’ve written down, along with what you believe the picture is. For example, bird is what the picture is of, and a word you might write down is Ostrich. Sarah would then need to tell me bird and Ostrich. Does that make sense?”

“Ooh, that sounds like fun,” young Sarah said over the phone.

What does? the other voice asked. It must have been Doug, as he was the only one who couldn’t hear the psychologist. Andy quickly thought the instructions on what game they were going to play.

Cool, the other voice said.

Sarah sat down in the beanbag again and handed Andy a pen and paper. She shuffled the cards, so that even she didn’t know which one was next. She drew the first card, and showed it to Andy, not looking at it herself.

Andy wrote down the word fast, and concentrated on thinking that word, and what the picture was, to the voices.

“There’s no need to shout,” young Sarah said. “Tone it down a little and think clearly.”

Andy tried again.

“Fast red car,” young Sarah said.

Andy held up the paper for Sarah and his mum to see. Sarah turned around the flash card. It was a picture of a red car.

“Very good,” Sarah said. “Let’s try for five in a row.”

Sarah held up the next card for Andy.

Andy wrote down two words, and thought, ever so gently, the words and picture to the voices.

“What sort of psychologist are you?” young Sarah asked.

“A child psychologist,” Sarah replied. “Why?”

“Are you gay?”

“That’s none of your business,” Sarah replied.

“Suit yourself,” young Sarah said. “The second one is a gay pride rainbow.”

Lilly laughed. She could see the card, but Sarah couldn’t. Andy’s uncle was gay, so he was well educated about gay pride and being tolerant and understanding of others who are different to you.

Sarah flipped the card around and Andy held up the paper. She shook her head and burst out laughing as well. It was infectious, and they all started laughing, even Doug, the other voice in Andy’s head.

After a minute of laughter, interspersed with comments along the lines of I’m going to wet myself, and a few pig-like snorts, which made everyone laugh even harder, the laughing finally gave way to sighs of contentment.

The third card had a picture of a toilet. Andy wrote fart jokes.

“Really?” young Sarah said. “What is it with boys, fart jokes and toilets? By the way, it’s a toilet and Andy wrote down fart jokes.”

Sarah turned the card around, so she could see it. Andy showed her what he’d written. Three out of three. She was beginning to think that maybe this was the real deal — a telepathic connection with another person.

“Andy,” Sarah began, “before I show you the next card, I want to rewind the conversation. You sounded like you were surprised that Sarah might know you. Where does she know you from?”

Don’t tell her, either of you, Doug yelled in their heads. They might send us back to hospital and run more tests.

Hospital? Andy thought back at them. Whoa … Sarah as in I want to be just like my mum when I grow up Sarah? And Doug … who didn’t seem to fit in with any of us?

“Andy …” Sarah said. He wasn’t paying attention.

The same, one of them thought back at him.

What a coincidence, Andy thought at them. What are the odds of that happening?