Blood-Stained Moon

Confusion

I'm staring at the ceiling, the dazzling white coming from the flickering strip lights makes my eyes water. I don't remember anything, my brain is so fuzzy like cotton wool, where am I... how did I get here? I think I remember washing bowls? Wolfy is stirring in the back of my mind, she's so quiet and I don't know why. Why can't I reach her, I feel the panic rise in my chest again and there's a beeping sound getting louder, I look around frantically, I sniff, a sharp smell of peroxide... and blood? A hospital maybe... There's a white curtain around me, and I hear chairs scraping, loud beeping, muffled talking and I look down and there's a grey block on my finger, tracing the wires with my eyes. They lead to the source of the noise. I squint to focus and a red number flashes into my vision. It's all numbers I don't understand the meaning of. I've been lucky enough to avoid hospitals- except on the day my father died. The memory is fuzzy, it was going on 7 years ago now, but yet I can remember the smell as if it were here in the room with me....

7 years ago

Blood, terror, bodies strewn across the hallways. My father grasps my shirt collar as he marches me down the hall, stopping to open the door to a large cupboard. He falls to his knees, his piercing eyes shrouded in fear, looking up into mine. "Whatever you hear, whatever happens you stay in this cupboard, do you understand me Remilda?" he whispers hastily. I frantically nod and stumble back at the sight of his bloody tattered clothing. My feet stop when they bump into a warm quivering lump. I whip around to see two other small children huddled together whimpering. I look back at my father. That's when I notice the blood dripping from his midsection onto the already bloodied floor. "Daddy, you're hurt-" My cries are muffled by his hand smothering my mouth. He pulls a small knife from his belt and pushes it into mine. "You know what to do Remy, my girl, I love you... No matter what happens, I love you and I need you to be brave for me." He struggles to his feet, his breath strained, he moves his back, reaches out his arm and I was closed into darkness. My senses only sought fear, sweat and blood. The whimpers overtake the pounding of my heart and something scrapes against the other side of the door. I shake with fear, terrified of the unknown approaching me. My father is all I have left. Losing him would be too much to bear. I crouch down amongst the cowering bodies and attempt to soothe them. "CRASH" came the noises, thudding feet across the hall, incoherent screams- soon to be muffled by flesh slicing, the thick hot drips splattering the walls. The thuds came closer and closer until they were nearly to our hiding position, I grip the knife so hard I feared my strength might break the tang and I hold my breath, knowing my injured father is just there fighting for our lives. His body loudly thumps against the door, startling me. His breathing is laboured and heavy, within a few seconds I can hear his flesh tearing, I can almost feel the tensing of his body desperate to hold back the agony. It's too much, I cover my ears and scrunch my eyes. I wish with all my heart that he would survive, I imagine him opening the door and holding me in his arms so tightly that he would never let go. I wish to inahle his comforting scent.

I don't know how much time had passed, my hands still firmly cupped my ears as I held my head low to my knees wishing. I must have fallen asleep. Wake up! I jerk my head up, my body feels stiff, achy and yet numb at the same time. As the grogginess passes I realise the whimpering has ceased, I search, fumbling my hands around to feel their small bodies. That's when it hit me, I could see- there was light. I turn my body to see a small opening in the door. I crawl towards it as fast as I can, heave my body up to stand and attempt to make the opening bigger. The door is heavy, something is blocking it. I throw my weight against the door again, and again until I can squeeze through. The task is almost impossible. My body is too tired. The adrenaline has drained. One last push, I take a step back, gather all my might and throw myself against the blocked exit.

BANG I feel the bones splinter in my arm, the pain yet to arrive. I fall through the widened opening and pull myself up. A scream bubbles in my throat as my eye catches the blockage against the door. My father is sprawled on the floor, his remaining limbs splayed, a pair of wide lifeless eyes boring into mine. I turn away and retch, bringing nothing but bile. His stomach was torn open, his organs spilling over, intestines piled next to him on the drenched carpet like sausages still joined.

The next thing I remember I'm staring at my feet, standing on fading white laminate. The smells of battle, bleach death surround me. My ears are ringing so loudly everything is muffled. It feels like the world is moving fast around me as I stand glued. People are talking around me, and to me, but I can't decipher the words. A hand grips my chin gently and titles my head, A woman's face fills my vision. Her hair is strewn around her face, flying away from her at the same time, beads of sweat cover her forehead, splashes of blood against her pale face. Her mouth moved in shapes forming words. Her hand moves to clasp mine and she leads me across the floor, the greying white streaked with more and more red and brown as we wound round corridors. We stop. The room cleaner, emptier, almost hollow, and yet there is a familiar smell also. I shiver unconsciously and my nose follows the scent. The surroundings are gray steel, beds line the walls, except they are more like tables. Upon these lie lifeless bodies under thin white sheets. An arm dangles over one of the edges, the hand limp, crusted in crimson.

The scent is stronger on the bottom table bed, I scuffle my feet a few inches over to get a better look. My father is lying peacefully, arms crossed underneath the sheets, his eyes closed. He looked like he was sleeping. The memory of his forever open eyes came flooding back, it all came flooding back, I couldn't breathe, I hear loud screams getting shorter and shorter, turning to panting breaths desperate to catch air, not realizing it was my own voice. I sink into darkness.......