Forgive and Let Go (Completed)

We shouldn't do this but... f**k it (8 years ago)

It has been 2 weeks since JP moved in with me. Two weeks since Austin tried to r**e me. I haven't slept well since the night JP and I slept on the couch together. I will sleep for an hour or two and then I'm right back up. I have started having panic attacks, but haven't told anyone. Luckily JP hasn't heard me wake up trying to catch my breath. I don't need him worrying about me with everything he already has on his plate. Maggie seems to be calling him non-stop nagging about anything and everything. I honestly feel bad for him, I wish there was something I could do.

A week ago I started a new job working from home as a customer support specialist. I log onto my computer around 8 am and stay on there until 4 or 5 pm helping customers with their billing issues for apple. Some days are better than others. I never realized how nasty people could be on a phone until this job. JP gets up before the sunrise and heads to work and he gets back home around 6 or 7 most days. Living with him hasn't been bad at all. We mainly keep to ourselves but there are some nights where we will hang out and watch a movie or drink a couple of beers. Sometimes both.

After I finish up with my last call of the day I log out of my computer and clock out on my phone for the day. I actually finished up a little earlier than normal today. Which is great, I have some school work I need to catch up on. I grab my books and a pen and head into the living room to lay back on the couch.

At some point during my study session, I must have fallen asleep. Just like at night time, I wake up and can't seem to catch my breath. I jump up and struggle to breathe. I didn't realize JP had already made it home.

"Liv, what's wrong!?!" He runs over to me and grabs me by the shoulders.

I try to speak but I can't. I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing like I had taught myself to do during the night. I put my finger up telling JP to give me a minute. Finally, my breathing starts to even out and I can breathe again. I don't feel like I'm suffocating.

When I open my eyes JP is staring at me. Worry is written all over his face.

"I'm sorry," I say taking a seat on the couch resting my elbows on my knees with my head in my hands.

"What do you have to be sorry about? What was that just then? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine now. I was having a panic attack. I have them every time I fall asleep. I didn't mean to fall asleep in here. I was supposed to be studying, but I'm just so tired." Tears begin falling down my face.

I feel JP sit down beside me. He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me back into his side. I rest my head on his shoulder as he holds me.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why would I tell you? You have enough going on in your life without you having to worry with me."

JP sighs. "When are you going to realize that I can't not worry about you? I care about you Liv. Way more than I should, but you are an important person in my life."

I didn't know what to say. I just laid against him and closed my eyes. I knew if I sat here too long I would fall asleep again. So, I get up.

"Where are you going?" JP questions.

Looking at the clock on my wall and then back at him, "Well it's already after 7. I have to cook."

"No. No cooking. I'll order us something. Why don't you go take a bath and relax for a little bit."

"Are you sure?" I glance at him.

"Positive."

"Thanks, JP. I'll be back out in a little while."

After getting clothes picked out to put on after my bath I go into the bathroom and begin running my water. I add some bubbles as well. After taking my clothes off I slide down into the tub until only my head is sticking out from under the bubbles. The water and bubbles feel so good against my skin. I close my eyes thinking of JP and all of his sexiness. From his handsome face to his toned body and tattoos. I actually haven't seen that body of his since we were together 2 years ago. Do you know how you always have those MILFs? Well, JP is my DILF. I would love to f**k that dad.

Keeping my eyes closed I let my hand run from my neck, across my breasts, down my stomach, and in between my legs. I needed a release. Living with JP and seeing him every day has me sexually frustrated. Too bad I didn't grab my vibrator before coming in here.

I wonder if JP would be up for some oral. I debate for about 5 minutes before I yell out his name.

"JP!"

A few seconds later I hear a knock at the door. "What's up?"

I hesitate before I answer, "I'm under bubbles. Come in for a minute please."

I could hear JP groan before he finally opens the door and looks at me. I can tell he is struggling to make sure he keeps his eyes on my face only. When I don't say anything he speaks again.

"What did you need?"

"I know we shouldn't, and I feel stupid for asking, but I really need a release. Would you be interested in helping me out?" I bite my lip and look up at him.

JP groans and looks up at the ceiling. I notice the bulge that has formed in his pants just from me asking that question. He's thinking about it.

While he is still looking up I stand up in the tub, bubbles sticking to my body and water dripping down. JP looks back at me, his eyes staring at my face and slowly making their way down my entire body. "You're killing me Liv."

I grab a cup and fill it up with some water to clean the bubbles off of me before stepping out of the tub. JP is the only guy I have ever been able to be this confident around.

I step up to him, not touching him, "How am I killing you?" I look up at him as he stares down at me.

He finally reaches out grabbing my breast in his hands. He pinches my n*****s causing me to yelp out.

He leans down until his lips are almost touching mine. "We shouldn't be doing this but.. f**k it" His lips crash into mine and my arms find their way around his neck pulling him into me. I run one hand down his torso and between us rubbing his length.

I pull away from him and grab his hand pulling him with me to go into my bedroom. Once the door is shut I grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it up helping him take it off. He pushes me back until I hit the bed. I jump up a little so I could sit on the edge.

JP steps up and pushes my legs apart so that he could take a good look at me. "Mmm. I can't wait to taste that pussy."

"What are you waiting for big boy?" I ask as he falls to his knees so he's eye level with my p***y. He kisses my thighs causing me to shiver. "Lay back" He demands.

I lay back as I feel his finger find that sensitive bud. He starts rubbing it and I can't help but moan. Before I know it his mouth is sucking on my c**t. It takes no time for the pressure to begin to build up and I'm screaming his name. He hits that one spot that I need him to and I grab onto his head holding him in place.

"Oh yeah, that's it. Don't stop. Oh my god. JP. Please." Before I hit my orgasm he pulls away.

"What are you doing? Don't stop."

"I'm going to ask you a question. If you say no, that's fine. But I feel as if you may want this as bad as I do."

Sitting up I look at him, "Ok, what?" I had a feeling he was about to ask me if we could have s*x.

"Do you want me to f**k you?" He looks up at me from the floor where he was still kneeling.

Do I want him to? Hell yes, I do. I have wanted him since the first time we met. Me being a virgin though makes me second guess it all. Should I do this? Will it change things? My body is screaming yes. What should I do?