Magic Shop

23 | SOMETIMES, I THINK OF LETTING GO EVERYTHING

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See the future? Dawn was astounded upon the words of Mr. Anderson that he felt like he was separated from the world. It was like an invisible line was drawn in front of him and the rest. At that moment, he can’t hear the fireworks anymore. His surroundings became white and all his eyes could see was Mr. Anderson’s figure.

It took him few minutes to get his shits together and think about what he heard carefully. The future? Prevent? Those two words keep on playing in his mind that he wasn’t able to focus so much on the fireworks nor the loud cheering and shouts around him.

It was like an invisible bubble was formed isolating Dawn to the word as he carefully laid his thoughts.

The future? He can see the future? Mr. Anderson can see the future? Such words were ringing on his ears as he gulped trying to compose himself. He should be calm and he should process everything carefully.

Dawn heaved his breath several times feeling the cold air from the mountains. As he was able to breathe he finally let his mind do the work. Time travel only exists on fantasy books and novels. There were also many books and researches about it. However, none of them was proven and only theories were discussed.

According to them, following the law of science, physics and the universe, time travel might be possible on just the surface but, there wasn’t a study that indicated that a person can see the future. Well, except for such cults or from the story such us novels, anime, and mangas. Yes. Dawn agreed in his mind having those books as his basis.

A person can’t see the future unless that future is like me. A person who was lucky enough to be able to made his wish come true. But, is Mr. Anderson also from the future? From my previous time line?  

The more Dawn utilized his brain the more he felt like he was overthinking some things. He doesn’t have any proof after all. Feeling that his heart was beating wildly he tried to calm his mind to avoid suspicion. Dawn knew how Roen observed him.

Dawn withdraw his gaze from Mr. Anderson and looked at the dark sky with curtains of lights from the fireworks. Having his thoughts run wild and his heart beating like a drum of war, he wasn’t able to feel peace again as he watched the fireworks. Instead, he was getting nervous as he quivered.

He doesn’t have a proof right now but, he can investigate. That’s the reason why he came back here, in the past. If there was a possibility that Mr. Anderson was from his timeline or if he can really see the future, then, it meant for Dawn that he had another possibility he can pursue. A new path to take.

After this he was planning on heading to the library and do some research to aid him.

Feeling a little hopeful he calmed his quivering hands. In his heart he was praying that Lau and Christine would appear and help him.

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It was Monday morning and since the festival of harvest was held yesterday, as a tradition, there will be a three days holiday for the students to enjoy the blessings from the gods. River who had his break yesterday was now working at the convenience store lifelessly standing behind the cashier.

Since it was almost summer and the weather was hot, the owner of the store advised him to open the aircon so he can feel comfortable. River who who was always the obedient person did not hesitate and let the cool air enveloped the place.

One after the other, customers would often come and buy some of their needs. There were also rare times when River encountered people who were like a boss and act all arrogant. However, working for almost three years now, he already get used to such people and often times he only think that this misery of him will end.

However, his hopes were getting trampled down over and over again. As he lived, River felt like he was become less and less human. It was like he was getting mad.

Fortunately he managed to saved enough money to rent a new apartment with three rooms and one kitchen and a living room. Since their first apartment was in the slums and only had one room for them to sleep and he can’t study at all, he gave his best to work multiple jobs to rent a decent home for their family.

He believed that after he finish his study and found a decent job he can support his siblings more since his parents are such pathetic bastards that only knew how to copulate, reproduce and drink alcohol all the time.

As a child, he went to a kindergarden school where the education was free since it was from a charity coming from the church. As little as five, he realized how pathetic his parents were and how he needed to grow up fast so that he will have a different future from them.

He didn’t have a proper childhood instead, he buried himself on books and always find time to go to the library and study. River ignored the children with the same age as his and bare the responsibility his parents failed to carry since he was already a big brother that time.

After graduating from kindergarden, River’s grandmother supported his school finances and helped him finished elementary. River was grateful for the blessings and cherished everything that was given to him since he was not lucky enough to be born in a wealthy family.

After finishing Elementary, his grand mother died from illness and that was the time he applied different jobs to support his education. After obtaining scholarship, he finally can breathe and was able to focus on job hunting. Now, he had saved enough money to support his siblings.

From time to time, since his parents knew he had money, they often raised their fist and asked for money however, River was firm. Money was precious to him and he can’t just give it to people who only knew pleasures.

If he could only just abandon his parents and live with his siblings he would have done so. In his life journey, now at the age of sixteen, River felt that the burned he was carrying was getting heavier and heavier as time passed. It was like a chain slowly enveloping him and eventually chocking him to death.

There were several times he prayed and desired to just die and let him have peace since he can’t do it anymore. However, every time he was looking at his siblings, especially Reika, he was his source of positivity in this filthy world.

He was also thankful for his friends.

Especially, yesterday. Having him and his friends visited the festival, it felt to him that he had become somewhat normal even just for a day. The fireworks was like a magical item that granted wishes for them to come true. However, he did not make any wishes instead he thanked for the time and thanked for the moment the gods gave him.

Honestly there were several time the thought of letting go everything. He thought of letting everything just fall because he was tired and tears won’t come out. Every time he suffered from this, he felt like his world was crushing down. He felt like he was pathetic. He felt like he was cursed and the only choice he had was to continue and go on. And in the process of trying his best one day at a time, he felt like he was getting more and more insane.

Thankfully he have his siblings and he have his friends. They were keeping him from drifting away.

After finishing work, he head home past three in the morning with his pay check on his pocket. River who was calculating the money he should save was happy enough because he had received a bonus and can treat his siblings with a good breakfast and lunch tomorrow.

I should cook some sinigang and adobo tomorrow since they like that dish. It’s been a while since we eat meat. They will surely like it.

After walking, River arrived at their new apartment. Everything was quiet. River silently walked inside to his room and he found his little sister curled in his bed. A soft and sweet feeling spread through River’s heart. He was still thankful that he had his siblings. He was still thankful that he can feel such emotions. however, as soon as he opened the light in his room, he felt like that gentleness and sweetness was washed away and become anger. River tried to control himself from getting mad and insane once again.

The happiness he was feeling a moment ago was blown by the wind. Life is difficult after all. F*ck them all

He saw the figure of his little sister covered in bruised. River felt that heat was enveloping him. He knew where these bruised came from since he also experienced it as a child. He clenched his fist several times and River took a great deal to restrain himself from punching the wall since he doesn’t want to cause any commotion. But River felt his face getting hot as he wanted to feel something to lessen the emotions surging inside his heart.

If only killing pathetic people is not a crime I have already buried them six feet under the ground!  River’s thoughts were full of anger and madness. He calmed his self before slowly walking to his little sister and hugged her deeply inhaling her scent.

Soon afterwards, tears had fell through his eyes. I can’t. it hurts! Everything hurts! He was getting tired of everything. He felt like he can’t go on and let everything like this. He had already suffered enough because of His parents pathetic-ness but now, his siblings were also suffering the same fate as him.

Trying to control his sobs, River was getting mad and was thinking on how to kill his parents. However, since he knew he can’t leave his siblings, he had restrained himself once again. Biting his lips he buried his face.

At the same time, Reika felt someone was hugging her. She slowly opened her eyes however since she was still sleepy and her body felt weak, she can only open her mouth. “You’re here kuya?”

River who heard her sister’s gentle voice was calm and now collected. The madness he was experiencing varnished like it never existed in the first place. He smiled, “Yes I am here.” He said with gentleness.

“I did good today and help people in the church. I got a star here” Reika motion her left hand where the star was. “I miss you kuya River.” She said as she eventually fall as sleep again.

River smiled bitterly as he tried to pray to the gods. He wished for them to be saved and e away from their parents. He wished to know how to make more money. He wished for a life where his siblings and him  can enjoy calm and peacefulness.

However, he knew some of his wishes would only remain wish for a long time.

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