The Blue Moon Luna

Chapter Six: Frustration

[Leah’s P.O.V.] – Blue Ridge Pack

Two months have passed since I first arrived in Blue Ridge, and they have been wonderful, well mostly wonderful. Christian has been amazing. We can talk for hours about everything and anything, from our darkest fears to silly little conversations about absolutely nothing.

Every day Christian makes time for me, even if it’s just to answer whatever question pops into my head about pack life and werewolves in general. I mostly sit in his office and read while he works. The day after my arrival, Samuel showed me their library, and since then, I have consumed book after book on the supernatural.

“Soon, you’re going to know more than me about our world,” Christian glances up from his computer screen, his eyebrow raised as I put down one book and pick up another.

“I need to learn if I’m going to help you lead,” I shrug, opening the dusty book. This has to be the oldest one yet. ‘The Histories of the Blessed She-wolves’ I run my finger over the title. I am going to like this book. I’ve learned that although the werewolf world appears to be very patriarchal, the most powerful wolves ever to have existed have all been female; some even have special powers.

“You can help me lead when you allow me to announce you as my Luna,” Christian chides back. He hasn’t pushed me in any other area, but I know he wants to announce to his pack he found his mate. It's not that I don't want to declare myself and secure my position by his side, but I don’t feel ready. I don’t understand what a Luna is or what they do, and I’ve never even met one in person. At least, these are reasons I’ve been giving Christian. A reason I’ve been keeping to myself is that I’ve seen how some of his pack members look at me like I’m s*** on their shoe. Christian hasn’t officially told anyone in his pack, but we’ve been seen together enough that I’m sure it’s obvious what we are.

“Don’t we have to be mated and marked for you to announce me as Luna?” I snide at him. I know that question will catch him off guard, and it does. Christian chokes on his coffee, spitting a fair bit onto his shirt.

“Who told you about that?” He finally musters out, still hammering his chest to help the rest of the coffee go down.

“Why does it matter who told me about it?” I’m getting snarky with him. As much as I appreciate him not pushing me, he hasn’t told me nearly enough about what my life here is supposed to look like. He wants me to take on Luna's role, and I’m woefully unprepared. He’s essentially throwing me to the wolves.

“If you must know, I read in a book,” I lie. A few weeks ago, I had overheard the b**** brigade speaking about it, about me.

~Flashback~ Christian was in meetings all day, so I decided to go out to the gardens to read. The Omegas that work around the vegetable gardens are kind to me; they ask polite questions about my day and then leave me alone. I had found a perfect tree to read in, just like I used to do when I was a child, and that’s where I was when I overheard them.

“He can’t be that serious about her. He hasn’t even marked her,” the one I’ve come to know as Heather consoles the head b****, Ashley. She’s had it out for me since I got here.

“Yeah, I bet she’s just his human w**** since he can’t bang anyone from the pack anymore,” Brittany adds. As much as I hate Ashley, I hate Brittany more. Ashley at least has a reason to hate me. One of the garden Omegas had warned that Ashley was in love with Christian and to watch out for her. Brittany, on the hand, is purely spiteful.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Heather starts to say but is cut off by Ashley glaring at her. Heather actually seems kind. I have no idea why she hangs out with the other two. “I’m just saying, even if she is his mate, he hasn’t marked her yet, so there is still a chance.”

“He must be waiting to get his Alpha title back officially; then he will see that a human Luna is a useless Luna. Once he gets his head straight, he’ll choose me,” Ashley flips her golden hair over her shoulder and leads the group onward and away from my hiding spot. I wish I had the courage to say something to them, to stand up to them, but all they were doing was having a conversation, and I am in no position to pick a fight with she-wolves. ~End Flashback~

“You read it in a book…” Christian repeats, examining me for any hint of dishonesty. With a frustrated grunt, he slumps back in his chair. “Leah, you have got to start talking to me. Is there anyone that is making your life here hard?”

That catches my attention. Why would that be the first conclusion he jumped to? Has he been carrying on with the she-wolves here? I know he had before I arrived, but he spends almost every night with me. Now I am the one examining him for any hint of guilt. “What makes you think that?” I snap at him.

Christian looks like a child that just got caught with his hands where they weren’t supposed to be. “I just mean…”

“You just meant what?”

“If anyone is bothering you, I could help, I could…”

“You could help by not f*****g your pack members. That’s how you could help!” I stand and berate him. I have no idea what came over me, but the anger I have been holding on to finally bursts through. Christian sitting there with his mouth flapping open like a fish doesn’t help ease any of my rage. A reaction, any reaction, would be better than this silence. I slam my book down in frustration and flee his office, unsure of where I am heading.

-

“Catch!” An apple hits me square on the head, then a familiar laugh follows. “Goddess girl, you are not with it at all. Where’s your head?” I look up and thankfully see Kate. She has been the only real friend I’ve made here and the only person I can honestly talk to. “Alpha troubles?” she asks in a low voice. I had confided in her that Christian is my mate and swore her to secrecy.

Giving her a pointed look, I answer, “insecurity troubles.” It was Kate that had warned me about Ashley and her b**** bigrade. She hates them, likely more than I do, which is saying a lot since Ashley is her sister.

Kate appraises me and then deduces the issue on her own. “What did you do?”

“Accused Christian of still sleeping with she-wolves in the pack…” I admit, filled to the brim with guilt. I know what I did was unfair to him. He has been nothing but kind and patient with me, and then I blow up on him because of my insecurities.

“Well, you can’t totally be blamed for that. He has slept with she-wolves here and hasn’t told you about it,” Kate consoles me. “Look, I respect the Alpha and all, but he’s an i***t when it comes to women. He doesn’t know how to communicate, and he does not know how to pick up on signals, see what’s happening with my sister.”

I grimace at the thought of those two being intimate. I’m not exactly pure myself, but it’s highly unlikely Christian will ever run into one of my partners. Kate and I sit in silence for a while. I watch the sun bounce off her sun-kissed hair and across her golden skin. She’s so beautiful and looks so like her sister; it makes me envious. It would be easy if Ashley were hideous, but she’s not; she’s stunning. Where I am small and thin, Ashley is tall and strong in all the right places. She carries herself with such confidence, whereas I can't even hold my head up in the company of other she-wolves. Why would Christian want me, knowing he could have someone like her?

Kate wrinkles her perfectly bespeckled nose. “Out with it, Leah. I know you’re holding something in.”

“Why are you nice to me?” I ask, genuinely curious. If I had a sister, I would have her back, not some strange human who somehow found her way into the pack.

“Because you are going to be Luna,” Kate states plainly. My heart turns cold. I thought I had genuinely made a friend. Kate roughly shoves her shoulder into mine. “I’m joking, Leah,” she rolls her eyes, “you’re too gullible. You’ll need to toughen up if you want to be Luna.”

“No, seriously, Kate, Ashley is your sister. Why take my side?”

“Look,” Kate sighs, “I love my sister, I really do, but she’s a b****. She’s always been a b****. I told her not to pursue Christian. Alpha’s almost always find their fated mate, which is essential for our pack’s strength, but she wouldn’t listen. She has always put her ambition and ego above the good of the pack. I thought she became a warrior to follow in my father's footsteps, but it turns out that in high school, she overheard Christian saying he wanted a strong Luna. Since then, she has been trying to make herself into his ideal she-wolf.”

“Christian wants a strong Luna, yet he ends up with a human as a mate… sounds great for me,” I roll my eyes. Maybe that is why he avoids certain topics with me, never pushes me to train, and never tries to instigate… well, anything.

“Every male wolf thinks that until they have a warrior mate, trust me.” Kate huffs. There is something in her voice I can’t quite discern. “Seriously though, Leah, there is more than one way to be strong. Our former Luna, Sandra, wasn’t a warrior either, but she had great strength. Lunas are the emotional strength behind the Alphas. They are the ones the Alphas turn to when everyone has left. When the Alpha is scared or needs reassurance, whom does he talk to? He talks to his mate. There is no one else in the world who an Alpha can be weak in front of except his mate.”

“That sounds a lot like my parents,” I smile inward at the memory of my family. My father was an imposing military man, but when things got quiet, and he needed support, he turned to my mother. He always told me that my mother had a gentle strength that could not be beaten down. It was everlasting and uplifting.

“Then it sounds like you have some good role models,” Kate breaks me out of my memories.

“How do you know so much about Lunas?” I ask her, now sincerely curious. Aside from my books, Kate has been my most significant source of information. She knows far too much about the inner workings of a pack to be an Omega.

“My mother was Luna Sandra’s best friend,” Kate nonchalantly admits. Nothing my alarm at her familiarity with Christian’s mother, she shoves me again. “Leah, it doesn’t mean anything…”

“How close were you to Christian?” I ask her spitefully. I can’t help it. Jealousy seems to be consuming every rational thought in my head.

Kate looks at me, absolutely p****d at my insinuation. “Seriously Leah?! You think I am some rank-climbing s*** like my sister?”

Her words slap me back into reality. I feel awful. She is the only person outside the Alpha family who has been nice to me since I arrived here. I groan and drop my head into my hands. “I have no idea what is happening to me, Kate. Everything I do and say seems to explode out of me at the moment.”

“You need to get laid.”

“KATE!”

She begins to chuckle at my exclamation. “Leah, wolves are highly s***** creatures. We hardly wait a day before mating and marking our mates once we find them.”

“Well... I’m not a wolf, so...”

“You are acting exactly like a jealous, possessive she-wolf. Believe me, you are more wolf than you think,” Kate chuckles and begins to walk away.

“Kate! I need help!” I call after her, frustrated. I need more help here.

“GET LAID!” is all she calls back.