Flawed Hearts

Chapter XXVIII: Fear Factor

Lounging on the chairs at the balcony reading a copy of “Jenny Han's Fire For Fire”, Najmah enjoyed the last bits of winter in Istanbul. It was freezing but either way, she found the chilling air oddly comforting. She reached out for the jar of Nutella on her side to find it empty. Her brow creased in confusion, staring back and forth between the books sprawled out on the table and the jar.

'I couldn't have finished the jar after reading two books only right?' She asked herself, placing a bookmark on the page she was reading then shut it, setting it down atop the others before walking back into the room in search of another Nutella jar.

'Aslan would scold me if he were here,' she thought as she picked the jar on the nightstand, reminiscing about the times he scolded her for her chocolate intake. It had been five long days since she last saw him, he was away on a business trip and hell, she would be lying if she said she didn't miss him.

Feeling the odd fluttering in her heart at the thought of him, she trudge back to the balcony and flopped down on the chair getting completely lost in the book she was holding.

{••}

Aslan crossed his arms on his chest and leaned on the sliding door, gazing at her with a smile on his face. He stared at her for a while before deciding to make his presence known by grabbing the book from her hand, eliciting a sharp gasp to escape from her lips.

Her heart was still beating wildly against her rib cage while she stared at him in horror and when his presence registered in her brain, she threw her arms over him wrapping her legs around his waist.

Najmah slammed her lips against his, startling him. Getting over his shock, Aslan returned the kiss in equal fervour, softly at first before it escalated into something else. He pulled away, smiling against her lips while she tried to gain back her breathing.

"That was unexpected," he chuckled, bumping his forehead with hers.

His chuckle resonated through her whole being and she smiled at him, clutching him even tighter.

"Missed me that much?" he teased, c*****g his eyebrow up.

"You wish," she replied, unwrapping her legs from around him.

"Then what do you call this?" he tapped his lips.

"Spur of the moment," she shrugged, padding back into the room.

"That's not how it works," he shook his head with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

Before she could register what was happening, Aslan's hands shot forward and grabbed her, propelling her back into his chest.

"Oww," she yelped, swivelling around to face him. Her lips parted a little as she took in the expression on his face. She gulped, her fingers nervously fidgeting. He leaned down, the tips of their nose brushing against each other as he captured her lips once more with his. Their lips moved in perfect sync with each other, dancing in harmony. Pulling away to catch their breaths, Aslan kissed the corner of her lips then released her from his hold. 

"That wife is how you welcome your husband back home." He smiled, walking backwards into the room. "Just so you know, I missed you." He added, winking at her before he disappeared from her view.

Najmah stood transfixed, touching a finger to her lips as she placed a hand over her heart.

'Dear Lord, what is happening?'

***

"Ramazan is just a few days away," Lale spoke, pulling out her phone from her jeans pocket.

"Is it?" Najmah's brows furrowed, pausing before carrying on braiding Hilal's hair.

"Mm-hmm," Lale replied distractedly, typing away on her phone.

"Is it only me or did you grow into another hobby these last days?" Najmah nudged Lale's shoulder.

Caught at the action, Lale's face turned beet red as she struggled to find words to say.

"It's uhm...nothing. Just doing online shopping," Lale shrugged, keeping her phone face down on the couch. Just on cue, the phone started vibrating. Lale bit her lip in an effort to hide her desperation; she wanted to pick the call but at the same time, she didn't want to risk anyone finding out who she was busy on the phone with.

"If you say so," Najmah shrugged, packing up Hilal's braids with a hair band.

"We're heading up now," Najmah stood up. "See you in the morning."

"Sleep well," Lale replied distractedly, kissing her on both cheeks.

"You too," Najmah replied.

{••}

After tucking Hilal in bed, Najmah went down to the kitchen feeling a sudden craving for hot chocolate before sleeping.

Finding the ingredients she needed, she set out to work; preparing a cup in less than a minute. She placed the cup on a saucer then grabbed a packet of cookies and headed up to their room.

Pushing the door open, she set the tray on the coffee table then quickly changed into her pajamas before picking up her laptop. Najmah set it down on a throw pillow she kept on her lap then simultaneously sipping her hot choco, tapping on her keyboard.

Feeling extremely bored, she decided to Skype Hanifa and thankfully, she was online.

"Hey there the most amazing woman on earth after Ummita," Najmah greeted.

Hanifa quirked her eyebrow up, scrutinizing Najmah with folded arms.

"Okay you can stop staring now, creepy staring ain't gonna work out for you."

"What do you want?"

"Is this how you talk to someone whom you haven't seen for a while?"

"Najmah," Hanifa warned.

"Okay fine," Najmah huffed. "I just wanna talk to you. I'm bored."

Hanifa c****d her brow up, her features softening. "Where is your husband?"

"He's working," she glanced over at the balcony, making sure he couldn't hear the next words she was about to say.

"I'm scared Adda," she admitted, her fingers fidgeting.

"Scared of what?" Hanifa's brows furrowed.

"I feel like I can't live without him and it scares the crap outta me," Najmah confessed, biting her nails.

"It is normal to feel scared Najmah, that is one of the perks of falling in love and don't say you're not," Hanifa warned. "I don't want to hear about that now."

"These feelings are so new to me, at times I feel them consume my whole being. Like they're suffocating me, and sometimes I just...I just feel empty."

"It is normal for people with your condition to feel that way okay? It means you are capable of feeling, you are not as shallow as you think."

"It was different with Fahad," she whispered slowly, but Hanifa caught on it.

"How different?"

"It was slow, peaceful, comforting and innocent."

"And Aslan?"

"I dunno," her shoulders sagged down in defeat. "It is confusing, mind-numbing, heart-consuming and toe-curling."

"Toe-curling?" Hanifa bit her lip in an effort to quell her laughter. "You just said toe-curling," she howled out in laughter, wiping away a few tears that managed to roll down her face.

"Yeah I know," Najmah glared at her. "Now can you seriously stop laughing and help explain what is going on with me?"

"Okay uhm, I know we have done this like a thousand times, but I'm still going to ask you again. Was it love you felt for Fahad?"

"I dunno," she snapped her eyes shut. "Can you please stop talking about Fahad? What has he got to do with what's happening now?"

"Why? Don't you want to talk about the man you intended to marry?"

"It's not that it's just...I don't feel comfortable talking about him. I'm married now and thinking about him makes me feel like...like I'm cheating on Aslan in my mind."

"Would you look at that?" Hanifa clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Najmah Haroun, the star and baby of the Haroun household is now matured."

"Seriously Adda, you gotta stop teasing me. You knew it'd happen sooner or later anyway. You remember what I told you before about the deal Aslan and I made?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"With all that is going on between us, I'm feeling kinda confused. Am I to leave or stay?"

"You know what? Time's up, pack up your bags and hop on the next plane back to Nigeria. That way, you can save your mind from getting confused."

That said, Hanifa logged out of Skype leaving a dumbfounded Najmah staring at the blank screen of her laptop.

She closed the laptop, set it on the nightstand then picked up the tray and went down to the kitchen with a jumbled mind.

How she got herself attached to Aslan was a mystery to her. It wasn't how she envisioned her life to turn out. It all started with that tour around Istanbul then the weekend in Paris and then the kiss in the rain. Aslan made her feel, he made her heart beat wildly and send shivers down her spine with every brush of his body against hers.

She never cared about sentiments, but Aslan changed that for her. She was depressed and detached yet somehow, he made her feel the most alive. The moments she spent with him were something she would treasure for the rest of her life.

Hanifa was right, their three months deal has elapsed, and it was time for her to make up her mind; to stay or to go. She closed her eyes as a tremor of pain struck her whole being. Would she be able to leave him behind?

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