Flawed Hearts

Chapter XXII: This is Love

"Sometimes when we are too focused on our pain, we have a way of overlooking the pain of those around us."

Najmah snorted, pinching the bridge of her nose. "He is not in pain," she mumbled inaudibly.

"Are you sure about that?" Hanifa queried, snapping her brows together.

"Maybe?" Najmah blanched.

"I don't see him no more Adda," she pouted. "Even when I see him, he doesn't talk to me."

"Oh dear God," Hanifa gasped dramatically. "Are you...is the great Najmah Haroun in love?"

"What, what, what?" Najmah's eyes widened in shock. She couldn't possibly be in love with him, right? What is love? "Adda what are you saying? 'Cause not, I can't...that's not it." Even as she said that, her heart thudded wildly in her chest and she wondered if what Hanifa said could be true but she couldn't actually love him right? It was hard for people like her to fall in love.

"Is that so?"

"I dunno," Najmah shrugged, slightly pouting. "Are you gonna help me or what?"

"Answer this first, what color are his eyes?" Najmah eyed her weirdly, furrowing her eyebrows before letting out a sigh.

"Black," she replied. "Obsidian black. When I look into his orbs, i get so lost in them like...like..."

"Like what?"

"Never mind, what's with the question anyway?"

"You are in love with him," Hanifa deadpanned.

"It is not love," she flourished her hands, trying to find the right word to use. "It isn't."

"Then what is it? If my speculations are true and she is indeed in love..."

"I'm not in love with him!" Najmah groaned, throwing her head backwards. "I'm merely concerned about his well-being and stop talking about me in the third person, I'm still here."

"Yeah right," Hanifa snorted. "As I was saying, if you are indeed in love with him then could it be that your therapy is working?"

"Hmm," Najmah speculated, narrowing her eyes at Hanifa. "What are we talking about again? My therapy or my messed up life?"

"Both?"

"Adda," she pouted. "I'm a mess."

"Laifin waye ne wannan?"  Hanifa questioned, glaring at her. (Whose fault is that?)

"Adda," Najmah whined, placing her laptop on the bed. She probed her elbow on the bed, resting her legs on the headboard. "Kamata yayi ki taimakamani ba fadaba." (You are supposed to help me not chide me.)

"Najmah," Hanifa sighed. "What did I tell you the night of your wedding?"

"Have courage and be kind," Najmah beamed at her. "Oh wait, that's Cinderella's mother. I can't remember what you told me."

"Oh my goodness you silly woman," she groaned. "If you were here, I would wallop you so hard you'll forget your name."

"Would you bear to inflict pain on your amazing sister in law and best friend?" Najmah queried thoughtfully. "Nah, I don't think so."

"I am disconnecting the call right now," Hanifa glared at her, signing off.

"There goes my trusted adviser," Najmah mumbled, staring at the blank screen of her laptop. She stared at the ceiling for a while, pondering over what to do. An idea came over her and she was up and about in the blink of an eye.

She jogged down the stairs, towards the garden. The weather was beautiful so she decided to enjoy the fresh air, maybe it would calm her mind and get Hanifa's words out of her system. She sat down on the swing, rocking back and forth lazily her mind wandering off to her earlier conversation with Hanifa.

If Hanifa was right and Lord forbid she was in love with him would he stay by her side forever? Would he love her with all of her imperfections and flaws no matter what people might say about her? Would he stay with her or pull away when she throws one of her fits and end up not just wrecking the room but him as well?

'No one would, it's pointless caring about someone like me.'

{••}

"Baba, you called for me?" Aslan questioned, knocking on the door.

"Come in," Mr.Faik replied. Aslan pushed the door open and went in with a salam before taking his seat on a swivel chair across from his father. "Good evening to you Baba," he greeted.

"Good evening to you too," Mr.Faik responded, casting the file he was holding aside and setting his gaze on Aslan. "How is work?

"Work is going smoothly," he responded, wondering where the conversation was leading to.

"And Najmah?"

"What about her Baba?" Mr.Faik didn't reply but instead, he gazed at his son, drumming his pen repeatedly on the mahogany table. "Do you think I have imposed so much on you by marrying Najmah to you?" He questioned, dropping his pen.

"I wouldn't dare think so Baba," Aslan replied, hanging his head low. "I know that you have my best interests in your heart and..."

"And what Aslan?" Mr.Faik furrowed his eyebrows, seeing Aslan deep in thought.

"Najmah is...she is one of a kind. I have never met a woman like her before," his lips quirked up into a smile. "She's special."

"Is that so?" Mr. Faik smiled. "Well then, I am relieved. I have not failed my duty as a father."

"Ba..."

"You can go now," he dismissed him with a wave of his hand. Aslan strolled out of the study room and met Alev on her way out to the garden so he decided to tag along as well. They walked side by side, catching up on what they've missed on in each other’s lives. They walked past the swing Najmah was occupying which was obstructed by a large tree, making it hard for a passerby to see unless if they knew of its presence.

Najmah who was pretty occupied with her thoughts caught a whiff of his perfume and she turned around just in time to see Aslan looking at Alev fondly, kissing her on the cheek. Her eyes widened up a fraction as she stared at the duo, her heart beating wildly against her rib cage.

{••}

"Merhaba," Lale greeted, sitting on the swing next to Najmah.

"Lale," Najmah gasped, finally managing to tear her gaze away from the duo. "You tryna kill me?"

"Oh no! I wouldn't dare," Lale grinned, shaking her head. "Kardeş would have my head."

"Not at the moment," Najmah sneered lowly, glancing at the Aslan and Alev who were busy laughing at something unknown to her. Lale followed her gaze and a wicked smile danced on her lips. "Oh I see," she bobbed her head. "He is quite fond of her isn't he?"

"So I noticed," Najmah replied coolly.

"Are you jealous?"

"Why would I be?" Najmah scoffed. "It's not like I..."

"Like him?" Lale finished the sentence for her.

"No, I don't," Najmah denied shaking her head.

"Tell me," Lale urged, clasping her hands together. "What do you feel about him?"

"Ever since I met him, it seemed like everything is connected to him. My moods and..." Najmah sighed, playing with the hem of her dress. "Slowly, I've become accustomed to him. Accustomed to having him around and involuntarily thinking about him."

"Then that is love," Lale grinned.

"Is it?" Najmah questioned blankly.

"Mm-hmm," she nodded.

"Two years ago, I met someone. I liked him but he betrayed me. I originally thought I would feel sad when my marriage with him was called off but in reality, I was more disappointed than sad.I asked myself time and time again why I wasn't sad about the turn out of events, I began to doubt my feelings for him. I asked myself was this love? But I wasn't sure of it. When I learnt about my marriage with your brother, I was afraid and curious about the kind of man he was. So when you said that I like him, I'm not sure of it either. Igotta go," Najmah stood up and left the garden not waiting to hear Lale's reply.

For a while, Lale was left speechless. It was the first time Najmah had bared her soul out to her, the first time she had spoken more than three sentences to her ever since her trip to Paris. Najmah indeed was a woman of great surprise. The shrill ringing of her phone broke her from her reverie.

She stared at the caller ID, groaning inwardly before picking the call.

"What?" she spoke immediately she pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hello to you too," Asil responded with mirth. "How do you do?"

"What do you want Kartal?" she rose from the swing, pacing back and forth.

"Oh are we back to being formal Mrs CEO?"

"Seriously, enough with the games," she groaned. "Get to the point."

"Will you go out with me?"

"What?"

"I said will you go out..."

"Yeah, I heard what you said. Why would I do that?"

"Would you not like to?"

"I...uhm...think it is not a good idea."

"Are you turning me down?" he queried, his voice laced with disappointment. She shuddered at the possible thought of going out with Asil Kartal, the playboy billionaire with no regards for human beings. "Do you have anything more to say?"

"No, but..."

"Thank you for calling Asil," she replied, cutting him off. She disconnected the call immediately, slowly placing her phone in the pocket of her jeans.

She shuddered again, thinking about the two of them together. 'Disaster of the century,' she thought. She shook her head to rid herself of the thoughts that clouded her mind.

If there was anything she wouldn't do, it was going out with Asil Kartal. She'd rather be caught dead than being caught together with him.

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