The Heart Of Everything

8. I guess I broke my own damn heart

I stand in front of my locker, still, let down about Friday. She left me with so much sadness and hurt that I lost the smile on my face, even dad notice that there was something wrong. Am I really that bad of a person since Kimmie doesn't want me around her? I lean my head on my locker and sigh as I close my eyes. Now I really hate myself, for being such a fool to think she would ever even considering to like me. It is Kimmie for Christ sake, the girl I have annoyed since I can remember. God, I am really an i***t.

"Sam, are you okay?" I turn my head on the locker to look at Miss Hale, who seems concerned. I close my eyes for a second and then nod smiling. My teacher shakes her head lightly with worry in her eyes.

"Has this something to do with Kim?" She asks like it was not awkward enough when we talked in the classroom. Miss Hale is great, but it is just that I don't like to talk about how I feel, because it makes me vulnerable, and I don't like to strip off my pride.

"No." I tell her annoyed and turn my head around in the locker. Speak of the devil. Kimmie comes closer and closer until she stands next to me, with an unsure smile.

"Did Goofy fall out of her bed this morning?" She asks with her eyebrow raised. Miss Hale and I snort at the same time as I push myself from the locker. Kimmie opens her own locker and looks for her books.

"No, she fell for something else." I mumble to myself.

"What?" Kimmie asks and I just shake my head. Then turn to my teacher, who seemed to have heard me. I look at her with widened eyes, sacred and a little embarrassed. She looks at me with sadness.

I take a step closer to her.

"I guess I broke my own damn heart." I whisper to her and then walk away. I crushed my own heart, when I kissed Kimmie, when I touched her and when I started to fall for her. It was stupid of me to do all of these things, especially when you are a complete asshole like me. No wonder she doesn't want to be around me.

I was on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the class, to take a little break. Miss Hale just nodded without saying anything. She seemed still worried, but when I step towards the bathroom door, Lizzy came. She is still angry about that the coach wants me to play the next game as well. I hit my head in the locker as she pushed me into it. She looks so pissed off, not Kimmie pissed off, but still, she is as tall and strong as I am.

"Oh god." I whisper to myself.

"What?" She snaps, pushing me on the shoulder with so much force that my back hit the locker again.

"You picked me on a wrong day." I tell her calm and she just raises her eyebrow amused. Then she drags me forward, making me stumble down to the floor. I rush up with fury in my skin and bones. This time I turn to her. I walk fast, then grab her shirt and jerk her towards me.

"Stop, it's enough okay!" I yell right in her face, I am so tired. First, the girl I like crushed my heart, and filled my whole body with sadness and hurt. Then this f*****g girl has to come and make it much worse, I am not going to accept that. Lizzy looks shocked but then pull herself together. Her eyes full of hate and I let go of her shirt, only to feel a punch in my face, right over my eye.

I rub my eye care to make the pain go away. The anger blacks every sense in my head as I rush forward and we both fall down on the floor. She grabs my shirt as I garb hers, after a while we start rolling on the floor, hitting and kicking each other, like animals. My skin burns here and there of punches and scratches.

"HEY!" I hear a woman yell, I can't put a face on it since our screaming and growling is too loud. Not long after I feel a fist right in my face and I everything gets blurry and dizzy as I feel Lizzy move off me. I hear shouting, but I can't form the words. I blink my eyes and that was a mistake as I feel the pain in my eye. Then I see the young face of my teacher. I close my eyes, oh god. As if my life wasn't bad enough already. After mom died, everything went to s**t.

"Sam, get up." She says strict. I move up slowly only to feel my legs weaken under me. I fall, but then my teacher holds me up.

"What the hell were you doing?" She asks angrily and then my eyes start to see things right again.

"I defended myself!" I argue, why do I always get the blame? I didn't start it.

"Let's go to the nurse." She says holding me up and I limp with her.

I came out with a blue eye, a bad scratch mark on my cheek and one my right temple. A broken finger and a twisted foot. The nurse forced me this time to use crutches, and I didn't argue after last time. I roll my eyes as I see my teacher coming down the hallway towards me. She shakes her head and looks at me, disappointment. I feel the fire in my veins and I snap.

"What do you want from me?" I yell so angry that Miss Hale almost jumped. This is the second time I have lost my mind. I close my eyes and shake my head of my own stupidity. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't get angry for nothing. I always give a joke in return, when someone tries to hurt or offend me. Now it seems like I have lost it. I take a deep breath and look at the blonde-haired, she does not seem angry but worried. I start walking with the churches to avoid this situation, but she follows me.

"Sam, is everything okay?" She asks and I just nod not looking at her. I stop walking as I saw Kimmie already with the lockers. She has a smile on her face, her red hair as beautiful as always her tiny legs adorable. I roll my eyes off myself after a while of staring at her beauty.

"Do Sam actually have a weakness?" I turn to my teasing teacher, annoyed. Then my eyes drift back to the red stunning girl and she meets my eyes.

"Oh shit." I mumble as she comes towards me angry.

"What the hell did you do now?" She shouts right in my face.

"I didn't do anything!" I yell back and she takes a step back from me.

"This is so typical you!" She says shaking her head upset.

"Why the f**k do you even care?" I snap. She has no need to yell at me for getting hurt, she has nothing to do with what I do or how I live my life. My words made her gaze drift down to the floor.

"Thought so." I tell and keep on stumbling down the hallway with my churches. Leaving them both in silence. I just want to get away from both of them. The teacher who asks and care too much and the redhead who keeps on mesmerizing my heart.

It's been a month since the fighting in the hallway with Lizzy and the argument with Kimmie. I have avoided all of them, but it is not easy when Kimmie has her locker right next to mine. Apparently, she has started to be around this guy named, Aaron. He is a blond, tall guy. Seeing those two next to my locker made the hole in me, even more hollow. I always wait for them to leave when the bell rings, and it makes me a few minutes late for classes. Every wound on my body is gone. Except the one in my heart. When did I become such a softy? I roll my eyes. I decided today that I am going to act like the old me again. Kimmie stands next to her locker alone today, so I guess it is a good start. I move my feet and stand next to her as I open my locker.

"Haven't seen you for a while." I hear her say.

"Maybe you should fix your eyes then." I tell and sigh, as I can't find my schoolbook. Kimmie snorts.

"Or maybe you have avoided me." She says as I continue looking through my locker.

"And why would I do that, princess?" I ask and feel a hit on my arm.

"It's nice to see you at least." She says and I look at her as I close my locker. Kimmie smiles, and god I have missed her smile. I stare at her a little too long and my gaze falls down to the floor.

"It's nice to see you too, beautiful." I say as I walk away from her.

Miss Hale told me to hurry to my locker to find my book. I forgot it in my locker as I avoided Lizzy. I run through the empty hallway and I stop as I turn the corner. Then I move back as I see Kimmie with Aaron in front of our lockers, dammit. I sigh in irritation, I have been late enough for her classes and right now, she is counting down the minutes on the clock. They still stand there and I have no other choice than to walk towards them. I move my feet closer to the red-haired and the blond guy.

"Hi, Sam." She says, grinning as I stand next to them to open my locker to find my book.

"Hi, princess." I sigh as I look for my book.

"What?" Aaron asks, confused. My eyes widen, oh s**t. I didn't think before I said it.

"Sam has mocked me since we were kids." Kimmie explains and I take a deep breath of relief. I find my book and turn to them as I close the locker. Aaron looks at me with an eyebrow raised, looking a little skeptical. I suck on my teeth, as I plan one of my jokes.

"Sam, don't even start." Kimmie warns me, she knows me so well I guess. I raise my eyebrow at her.

"Last time I heard, you told me not to stop." I say and give her a crooked smile. Kimmie's eyes widen with the realization of what I meant.

"You asshole!" She shouts, and almost attacks me, but Aaron holds her back. He does not look pleased as well.

"See you later, princess." I say and start running back to class. Yeah, old Sam is back, but this time she is going to be worse.