Wicked lessons from the Alpha

Mommy’s boy

*Hunter*

Noon is far too early for a disreputable man to awaken, but when I receive word that my mother is waiting in the parlor, staying in bed no longer seems wise. She is not averse to barging into my bedchamber, and while my bed lacks female companionship, she does not need to see me in my present state… eyes red and puffy, reeking of tobacco and strong drink… after not shaving for eons.

So I hastily bathe and shave, don a proper attire, and descend the stairs to feign delight at her visit.

As she pours tea, she settles into a green wingback chair, and I'm struck by the force of a battering ram… She has aged considerably since our last meeting. I doubt any son loves his mother as much as I do, and if that makes me a coddled mother's boy, so be it.

"Mother," I say, striding across the room, then leaning down to kiss her cheek. "You are looking well."

"Liar. I look dreadful. I'm not sleeping much." She huffs.

"And which of your children is to blame for that?" I ask, taking the chair beside her and stretching out my legs.

After her marriage to Jack Moondancer, she gave birth to two sons and a daughter. Their lineage gained them entry into pack Society, while Jack Moondancer's wealth made them acceptable. I have no doubt that each of them will marry someone with the blood of Alphas in their veins.

My mother says nothing, simply sips her tea, and that is answer enough.

"You needn't worry about me. I'm fine," I assure her.

"It's been two years. You are not back in pack Society. You can't mourn forever." She points out.

I remove my pocket watch from my waistcoat… it had been my father's. Originally, it belonged to my father's bastard son, my step father, but Jack had given it to me on the day I turned twenty one. Inside the watch's cover, my father kept a miniature of a young woman, a servant girl whom he claimed was the love of his life… the girl who gave birth to Jack. Now, there is a miniature of Jessamine inside the watch. "Father loved only once. Perhaps I'm like him."

"He never tried to love again. Guilt held him back." She says.

I understand guilt. Let us not perish.

They should never have fallen ill. If only I had heeded Jessamine's plea to stay away from the slums. If only I hadn't felt compelled to be a good Samaritan. If only I had been satisfied with providing funds for clearing out some of the slums, if only I had refrained from overseeing the work. If only I had sent my family away when I became ill. If only I had perished instead of them.

My mother places her teacup aside. "I'm not saying you must love again, but immersing yourself back into pack Society would do you a world of good."

"I immerse myself plenty," I reply dryly.

"Yes, with women, I'm sure." She sighs.

My jaw drops, and I have to nudge it back into position.

She raises an eyebrow. "I'm married to a gambling house owner who shares everything with me. I have long since lost my innocence when it comes to wickedness."

I must empty my mind to avoid conjuring images of my mother engaging in wicked activities.

But then again, I shouldn't be surprised. It was Jack who introduced me to my first taste of liquor and tobacco.

She reaches across and squeezes my hand. "Hunter, I want you to find happiness."

I shake my head. "Not yet, Mother. It's obscene even to consider it."

"Take a small step. The Luna of Westcliffe is hosting her annual garden party this afternoon. You should attend."

"I can think of nothing more mundane than swinging a mallet."

She furrows her delicate brow. "I think you have forgotten how much you enjoy croquet. If you won't go for yourself, go for me. I shall sleep much better knowing you're at least engaging with others."

"I do engage..."

She cuts me off. "Yes, yes, I'm sure you engage yourself with less reputable women, but that's not what I had in mind. Do something proper for a change."

"I'll think about it... for you." I say.

"I suppose I can't ask for more."

I shrug. "You could."

She smiles. "But I won't." She rises to her feet, and I stand. "I need to make arrangements for Odette's upcoming birthday party. You will come, won't you? It's a small, intimate gathering. She will be so disappointed if you're absent again."

I can't even recall how many I have missed… perhaps one or two. Guilt pricks at my conscience. I am not ashamed of my behavior, but I have made a conscious effort to conceal my vices from my younger siblings. They have always looked up to me. Now, I realize it is wrong to avoid them. It feels as though I have been wandering through a fog, and the sun is beginning to burn it away. Though I have no clue as to what has caused the sun to emerge.

"I shall try to be there."

She pats my cheek. "Do more than try, for goodness' sake. I don't ask for much."

No, she doesn't. I walk with her into the entryway.

"By the way, have you seen Miss Faye this Season?" my mother asks. "I hear she is considering Alpha Bentley."

"For what?" I ask.

She giggles. "Why, marriage, of course."