The Women Between

Chapter 19: Turmoil

Burn off the s****l aggression. Burn off the frustration. Burn off the pain!

What was supposed to be a jog turned into a run. Cassandra’s mind just would not let it go about Gregory’s and Thomas’ words. They had sent the arrow straight to her heart that made her a swirling mess. She was having trouble before, but now, it feels like her mind has no direction at all. Yesterday, it was easy to feel her mates' feelings through the mate bond that was not as strong. Today, with their words and their deeds, it has become stronger and harder to ignore. It made her fear run through her veins. She needs more time to adjust to this whole situation.

Her mind keeps replaying their smiles, their laughter, and the careful way they handle her, but that stain of doubt wants to spread through her. It is blacking out all those good things about them from their words to their kisses and their touches. She wants to see her mates, like she does the alpha twins of Red Moon Pack. She wanted to twist the dressing room scene into something that was darker. It wanted her to think that Thomas only wanted her body.

Of course, he would want her body. We are mates.

She is trying to counsel herself using reason to thwart the stain that wants her to think a certain way. It wants her to see everything misconstrued and more devious than the original intent. She wants to turn Gregory’s anger into something worse, when she knows she has pushed his nerves. The forced marking is the only thing that she has no excuse for them or any reason to endanger her life like that. This thing inside of her that wants her to reject them is making her life hell. She wished she could ignore it and let herself be happy, but she couldn't.

Cassandra wants it all to stop, especially with her s****l needs starting to take place. It has her mind muddled. She cannot focus fully on anything reasonable or logical to help her through this process. Even the thought of being shared by two men has her mind spinning out of control with all kinds of thoughts. It is like her mind buzzes like a TV screen that has no channels on it. She wants her life to go back to what it used to be like before she went to live with her grandmother and before the pack.

Focus on running, she told herself as Gregory’s smile danced in front of her along with his face rubbing her hands. Thomas’ hands were no better when they were so close to a place that would give her pleasure. But Derek’s and Jamie’s faces rose in her mind each time, making her repel the idea of giving in to her mates. It made her angry that she would let down her guard on those two men while, at the same time, she felt sad.

Her mates sent a wave of reassurance to calm her that she could not accept fully, right now. She wants to, but she is struggling to adapt to the way their mark connects them. She did not even know she was off and on blocking them from her feelings. She only buries the feelings that she does not want to be conflicted with, so she can give these men a chance and their pack. It would be unfair to waste a chance at love and happiness. It puzzled her until Thomas said something about it on the way to the packhouse yesterday. She did not understand how she could do that, but she tried to keep it open for them.

Cassandra was so focused on her inner turmoil that she barely had time to register that a wolf had jumped out in front of her. She flipped over it in time and turned on her toes to come to her stance. It was a ready to fight stand that had her eyes narrowed and fists ready. Her breath was laboring in her chest looking at this gray and black wolf standing before her. There were no emotions flooding from her or on her hardened face, but then, she heard Simon clapping his hands loudly. She jerked her head up to look at him with a dumbfounded look on her face. He is smiling at her while everyone was coming to a halt in the clearing giving glances her way.

“I don’t think I have ever seen someone that ready to fight before,” he commented with an eager smile that twinkled in his eyes.

“Well,” she breathed, then grabbed her water from her hip and chugged some down. “I think… you should thank… my sensi for teaching me.”

“You were taught to fight!?” Simon exclaimed, looking impressed by that. “I will reread your file. I did not know you went to a dojo.”

“I didn’t,” she chuckled as she turned her eyes to the poor young woman that tried to keep up with her. “Maggie, I think you should walk back to the packhouse instead of running after you have cooled down. And maybe catch your breath.”

She only nodded as she plopped onto the forest floor filled with old tree leaves and mud. The poor girl was profusely sweating. Her face was red, too, looking like she had exerted herself to the point where this small clearing Simon had led them to had become her resting bed.

It would be a perfect place to set up a camp with the trees shrouding it enough to be cool with a few large rocks dotted between them. It was no different than the ones that had whizzed by her. Now, she sees that there are a lot of trees with bits of twigs and branches lying around there. This is the only part that is flat land, unlike like the trail that went up and down wherever the roots grew underneath. It had formed holes at the very base of the trees with squirrels or chipmunks making their homes. She is memorized by it, especially the nest that seems to be in the middle of a tree with baby blue jays calling for their meal. It let her replay the path to this place.

She had noticed that there were a few holes where moles pop their heads out of the ground to search for food. She had to have care about them. It would cause a nasty sprain if she stepped into one. She did not understand why no one filled them in.

“I was going to suggest this to Their Majesties,” Simon hedged, “but I wanted to train you encase… Now, I believe I want to see what you have got.”

“I was going to tell you that I would be doing my normal routine as soon as my protective mates release me,” Cassandra chuckled. He gave her a meaningful look when she held a bit of bitterness in her voice. She could not help the emotional irritation with their restrictions on her movements. She is used to judging her own ability to do things. “I do understand their nature, but it does not mean I like it. I know what my body can and cannot do.”

“Good,” he nodded. “Then, tomorrow we can begin. From what I have seen, you do not need to take it easy for long.”

“I wouldn’t go against Alpha King Gregory,” Maggie warned with heaving breaths. She took another drink from her water bottle before continuing to speak better. “He looked like he was going to render me to pieces this morning.”

“It was a misunderstanding,” Cassandra laughed, hoping to satisfy the gammas curiosity. She does not want them to know about any of her bedroom activities, even the platonic ones. It is none of their business. “And besides, I was there and would not let it happen.”

“What did happen?” Simon asked, looking between them curiously.

“The kings were in my bedroom unexpectedly,” Cassandra stated with a slight blush to her face.

“They’re your mates,” Maggie scoffed, looking at her, almost offended that she did not accept them there. “Shouldn’t they be there to keep you happy?”

“I’m a human,” she reminded her, but only received a confused look. “You haven’t been around many humans, have you?”

“There is only a werewolf school here,” Maggie stated firmly.

“Why would a wolfless girl be sent to a werewolf school?” Cassandra asked, but then shook her head. This made no sense, and yet, it did when some do not shift until they are in their late teens. “Never mind. The short version is humans…”

She stopped finding her mind reeling over an idea that had popped into her head that drew everyone’s attention. A smile formed on her lips as all the dots slowly came together to show her what she needed to do for this young woman.

“No, I am not telling you,” Cassandra laughed. “Your task from me is to make no less than one human friend.”

“I… I am not allowed out except to the grocery store,” Maggie mumbled.

“Why?” she scoffed and scrunched up her face, surprised that she would be reprimanded like that.

“She has caused too much trouble amongst the pack members,” Simon answered with a frown on his face. It clearly shows that he disapproves of her for some reason other than this. “That is why she is only allowed to the grocery store and back unless she needs to get clothes.”

“So, you have never experienced clubs, movies or anything like that?” Cassandra asked, feeling her heart go to her. The young woman shook her head sadly and kept it down. “What happened when you went out? Give me at least one experience that you can talk about.”

Maggie only regarded her for a moment before saying, “The future beta of Black Moon Pack wanted to dance with me when I was sixteen. The few friends I had in this pack were at a club with me when he started to flirt with me. Then, he asked me. I said no, but I would like to talk some more. I am not a good dancer. He thought I was teasing him, and he would not let me explain at all. So, he started yelling at me, which drew his line of bitches to come up and try to beat the crap out of me. That was the first and the last time I went to a club.”

“I see,” Cassandra said thoughtfully.

She dislikes what she is hearing from this lonely young woman. She looks more like a girl than someone starting her adulthood, which makes her want to give her something. Maggie should never have had her youth taken away from her like that which only irks Her Majesty’s nerves more. She wanted to meet this beta and make sure he knew his place. However, she understands why this young woman was restricted from going out. She, too, was done the same way, at one point, to protect her from more abuse.

This made her idea of taking charge of this poor young woman into a plan that she was definitely talking to Janet about soon. She wants her off omega duties and training under her as soon as possible. The first thing on her list is to ensure that she has the right clothes, so she is not made fun of by the snobs. That will help her fit in nicely after she trains her to be her assistant. She hopes that her mates will agree to that.

“Oh, by the way, Simon,” Cassandra called as she started stretching. “I want our young Maggie here to learn defensive fighting, so that the next time she bursts into my room to save me, she knows how to do so.”

A chuckle sounded from him, amused by this, while Maggie just blushed hard where she sat. Cassandra only smiled at her appreciatively, hoping that she knew this was for her benefit.

“You are coming along so well in your role as Luna,” Simon complimented.

That made her pause and think back on everything she had done so far. Yes, she did sneak away during the party from Simon, who was angered by that. The other things she has done, from taking Maggie under her wing to commanding the maids well, are odd. She had never done a thing like that before and it made her wonder how she had become so different. Is it the mate bond? Or was she always like that and just lost it when the abuse started? Are her mates helping her adjust to this lifestyle that has a lot of demands on her?

It is strange that she would find herself comfortable becoming a Luna at this point. She should feel insecure about her position or hedge about taking Maggie on. She should not be demanding it, but she did see the uncertain times that are predominantly with her mates. If she asks them for something, it feels like a taboo, while everyone else is not. She even feels confident about it and tries to be courteous towards them. Is it the massive change that she has made in the two years under her grandmother’s care?

Cassandra is confused by how she has adapted so quickly to her role that it is almost frightening to her. She does not know if she can keep this up or if she is going to sink from being swallowed by the monsters. Her heart started beating frantically which made her breath in deeply before she nodded to Simon that she was ready to go. She had those worrisome thoughts bouncing in her head that she needed to get rid of before starting her day. She cannot let it get to her or she will not survive whatever comes next in her life.

However, she wonders if she is repressing her feelings, again, just like she had after the last incident with the twins.