Bluebonnet Days

Confession

The parents are engaged in their own conversations so I excuse myself to the kitchen. I walk onto the porch and in the distance I see Weston walking towards the pond. I guess it is time. So I follow him. Luckily the pathways are lit so we are not completely immersed in darkness. There are hanging lanterns by the pond I see that have been turned on. I sit down on the bench next to Weston.

I say, “So, I am here to listen, then I will talk” Weston just looks at me with sadness and desire in his eyes. “I can’t believe he did that to you tonight? Are you ok?

“I am fine. I mean I was caught off guard for not knowing where it was coming from, but whatever.”

“Well I am going to tell you where it came from. He currently blames your leaving, for our fallout. When he made his demands, no one expected you would leave and be gone for years. This also caused some issues among him with your dad.”

“Weston, I am so lost, what has been going on?”

He stands up as I can tell he is nervous.

“My dad threatened me with you. Remember for a while after I went to Yale, I came home every other weekend to see you. It was hard to concentrate when I was at school, without knowing if you were safe and ok. It was like going 100 to zero in a split second when leaving you. We have seen each other every day since I can remember and we just finally got together that summer before I left. Needless to say, I kept asking my dad to come home and attend Texas. Because I was not happy there, my grades were slipping and right after the holidays, I was put on academic probation. My dad was pissed. So that last weekend I was home, before heading back for the next semester we had it out. Stated that I was no longer to come home until I got my grades improved and proved that I was serious about being up there to become a lawyer. That he would be monitoring my calls and messages and I should be careful.

I am in shock listening to this. How could this be and why did he just not tell me. “Weston, why did you just not call and tell me? We could have figured it out together!”

“It gets worse, Sam. When I flew back to school that day there was a big party happening that night. My roommates dragged me out to go. I had a few drinks, honestly I do not remember doing anything crazy, but the bad thing is I do not remember much from later that night. What I do remember is waking up in the morning with some girl in my bed. Neither of us had clothes on.

My face is turning red, body shaking as my feelings are now becoming enraged with him right now as I sit here listening to this. He starts to walk towards me and I say, “do not touch me!” He backs off, giving me my space for right now.

“Sam, I was horrified! I don’t remember any of that night or that girl at the time and just ran out of there. It took me all day to get the nerve to even text you. I knew I could not call you, because you would know something was wrong and this was not a conversation I wanted to have over the phone. Classes started the next day so there was no way I could have even come home if I could. The next morning I got a phone call from my dad asking me how my weekend was. I stated, I screwed up and that Sam will never forgive me for what I did. I thought it was strange he was very calm and said “well it's good for you to try new things boy! Enjoy these times while not being tied down.” “But dad, it’s Sam.” “Son, if it's meant to be she will be around when you come home, I suggest you take advantage of this little situation” Sam, it almost felt like a threat from him. I was so lost and perplexed that I didn’t have the energy to fight him anymore. I talked to my buddies and they just thought I should just buckle down and get through these next few years and move on. I could not even forgive myself what I have done to even try and ask for your forgiveness. So I became a coward and started to text and call you less and less. I was an i***t for how I handled the situation. Jackson would check in on me every once in a while and wanted to know what happened with us, cause he said you were deeply depressed. Just threw yourself into your studies, losing weight and never wanted to do anything with anyone else. My heart was breaking, but I couldn't tell him why. Just kept it short and said I was just slammed with school work as I am trying to graduate early so I can get the bar exam behind me and get home sooner. But asked him to keep me updated on you and the family. I tried to come home for your graduation, but dad still denied me and said it would not be a good time, plus you were getting ready to head abroad the following week. I asked how long you would be gone, and he he said for a while. Fast Forward to the end of the next summer, I ran into that girl from that night. She comes up to me and asks how it's been. I apologize to her for leaving abruptly and having no reconciliation of what happened. Her name was Ava, and she stated not to worry, we did not do anything anyways. She was paid to drug me and make it look like we had. “

‘Excuse me!, who would do such a thing to anyone, especially you? You don't have enemies and I would especially not think at school states away from home! Weston this is too much!”