love or lust

I Missed My Daughter

I Missed My Daughter, Her daughter returns from a year in Europe, I waited at the Airport, excitedly awaiting the arrival of my daughter, Sophie. She had been away for a year in Europe, taking a gap year off to travel after completing high school and before starting University. I had spoken to her on several occasions, but after a year I really wanted to see her in person, I had missed her so much.

The arrival board had said her flight from London had landed, but still no sign of her. I suddenly spotted a large group of new arrivals, and then I spotted her. She was looking around, carrying just a backpack, my eyes willing her to look at me. When our eyes finally locked, it produced us both to smile excitedly. Without a luggage trolley, she was able to quicken her pace and weave through the people until we were both in each others arms.

“I missed you so much mom.” she said.

“Not as much as I missed you, a year is too long.” We stood together for a few moments before it got too crowded and I led us outside towards the car. “Where’s Claire?”

“She met someone in London, last night. And before we left this morning she told me she wanted to stay a while.”

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“Barbara will not be happy, does she know?”

“Yes, she said she phoned her mom before she told me.”

“Well, it is good to have you back, let’s go home. I have cleaned your room, fresh sheets on your bed, so you should be able to have a good night’s sleep.”

“Thanks mom, I might need a couple of night’s good sleep just to get over the jetlag.”

We got into the car and I drove us home, it was a 3 hour drive home, and Sophie slept quietly the whole way. We eventually arrived home and I parked in the driveway. Sophie looked so sweet and peaceful as I watched a moment as she slept, but in the end nudged her awake.

“Sophie, honey, we’re home.”

“Oh, sorry mom, I can’t believe I fell asleep. I wanted to keep you company during the drive.”

“You did, having you next to me and home, is just what I needed. Plus you need as much rest as you can get, you start university in less than a month.”

“I actually feel really good right now, I think that sleep really helped.” We went into the house and I suggested Sophie grab a shower and get comfortable, while I’ll get lunch started. I made a Chicken Ceaser Salad for us both and was ready about 20 minutes later. Sophie returned, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, she looked so thin, but her legs and arms were very firm and muscular. We ate and talked, Sophie stating just how much she missed my cooking. Telling me all about the different places she stayed at, and some of the awful meals she had to stomach.

“Did you have a good time though?”

“It was amazing, so much life. Different cultures, food and people. I visited some amazing places, though I think I need to go to University. It got too much towards the end and even though I will be busy at University, at least I will be in one place.”

“Well you look ok, though personally you seem a bit thin. But you do seem to have gotten very fit.”

“Yes walking for miles every day will do that. I agree though, I do feel too skinny; I need to put a few pounds back on.”

“So who was this mystery man that Claire met. And did you meet any interesting men on your travels?”

“Well as you know, one of the reasons Claire and I decided on this trip, was to go somewhere and explore life in a strange new place everyday. But also to have fun, the drinking age is 18 in most places, some were younger. We went to lots of parties and we did meet a few people, but we were very careful and cautious. You hear stories of people going on foreign travels and going missing. So we limited how much time we spent with the opposite s*x. But then one night, while we were in a nightclub in Bulgaria, Claire met a woman. Don’t tell her mum, but Claire ended up spending the night with Petia. Afterwards Claire thought it might be safer and fun to spend the night with women sometimes. We searched the internet and discovered about safe s*x between women. A visit to a chemist and we were set up with some female condoms. And in London, Claire met a woman, she told me that she really felt close to Rachel, so wanted to explore a few more weeks with just one woman to see if it might be something she is more inclined to do.”

“So did you have s*x with woman too?”

“Yes, does that shock you?”

“No, I just wondered. I have been with women before, does that shock you.” It did as she just stared at me.

“So was this before you married dad?”

“Yes, and I have been with women since. I have never been with another man since your father. I do enjoy being with your father, but I also know that I do prefer s*x with women and sometimes I need to experience that a few times through the year. How was it for you?”

“I can’t believe you cheat on dad with women, does he know?”

“I don’t know, he has never said anything and I have been very discreet.”

“But what about dad, cheating on him is not a nice thing to do, I know when I meet someone I would never cheat.” I did not feel she was judging me, just making a statement about her own feelings. It was nice to finally have this discussion with Sophie and it was time she learnt a few truths.

“You are old enough to know how things really are at home between your father and I. Firstly, we do love each other; this is not a sham marriage or anything. But when we married, after about a year, just after you were born, I was very uncomfortable having s*x again for a while. So one day your father just came home and asked if he could have s*x with another woman, he needed relief and I was not going to give him any. So I said yes. A few weeks later, I wanted to have s*x too, it was just not going to happen with your father, so I went out one night with the girls and spent the night with a woman named Monica. It was so good to be with a woman again. Monica and I had s*x together for about a year, and that was all it was, just s*x. Since then your father and I have been together sexually, but sometimes we both need something more and we secretly find someone else to have s*x with. Like right now, even though your father wants to be here to see you back home, he does have an important conference to attend, but he may also find someone to have s*x with.”

“I can’t believe what you are telling me. I was so proud of you both as most of my friends parents are divorced and that my family was so strong and happy. Now I find that you both are cheating on each other, I did not realise you were both unhappy being together.”

“Please understand we are not unhappy. When we have s*x with someone else, that is just what it is, s*x. In my case, as I think your dad would agree, it is just our way of keeping the marriage together. s*x with the same person for me, just gets boring, so only when I need a little excitement do I search for another woman. I probably have s*x about 6 times a year with another woman, and it very rarely happens twice with the same woman.”

“So you and dad are not going to divorce or anything?”

“No honey, we love each other very much, he is my best friend. Believe me, if anything was going to happen, we would tell you. I think that neither of us has told you any of this because of how you might react. Please try not to feel bad about any of this; it is just something we do to stay happy. We are both s****l people, and I am sure you will experience the same when you go to University. Am I wrong?”

“I have been with women and it was fun. I have been planning on experimenting with more women when I go to University. Though eventually I will settle down with a man, but will wait till I meet the right person. I need to go to bed now, thanks for dinner, goodnight.” And with that she kissed me on the cheek and left to go to bed. While I cleaned the kitchen I thought about what I had told Sophie and how she reacted. When she left she did seem distant towards me, maybe it was a bad decision to tell her. But it was good to tell her something more personal about myself and hoped we would have a closer and more honest relationship. It was about 2pm and decided to chill out in front of the TV and hope when Sophie woke up she would feel better.

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It was about 6pm when Sophie finally made an appearance, she was still dressed as before accept now she had bed head. She seemed so cute and smiled when our eyes met.

“Sorry about leaving earlier mom. I do understand what you told me, and I do not think any less of you or dad. I just think it was a shock.”

“I completely understand Sophie, I was a little afraid I might have done the wrong thing by telling you about the more personal aspects of our marriage. But a part of me feels better for telling you.”

“I am glad you could be so honest with me.” she said as she sat next to me on the couch.

“I am happy you had fun on your holiday and that you are safely back at home. I did miss you so much and worried everyday whether I would see you again. So what do you want to do now?” I asked.

“Well I feel wide awake and want to do something special, just the two of us. Maybe we could go out for the night, it is Saturday and it would be nice to go out like we used to.” Even though Sophie is underage to drink, she looked old and mature enough to go out, and was responsible. This was one of the reasons I trusted her enough to allow her to go abroad. But before she went we did start to go out a few nights a month together, thankfully being with me helped her get into most places without the need for ID. I felt we bonded more when we went out together. It was fun to just chat and check out guys. But now that she knew I liked women and that Sophie was not completely strange to the concept, maybe we could do something more interesting.

“I did miss our nights out together. How about we go somewhere for dinner first, celebrate your return home? Then if you fancy it, may I suggest that we go to this Gay bar I know, we could dance and check out women together, it might be fun?”

“Going to a Gay bar with my mom, sounds interesting, at least we could dance together without all those men getting the wrong idea about us. And dinner sounds good too, maybe something that serves proper American food, I have missed good local greasy food.”

“Pizza?”

“Perfect, give me 30 minutes to get ready.” I followed Sophie upstairs and got ready in my room. I had a shower and dressed in some smart jeans and a t-shirt. The nights had been very warm lately. I was finished before Sophie and waited downstairs for her. When she finally came downstairs, my mouth hit the floor, she was stunning. She wore jeans like mine, but they were very tight and she also wore a tight t-shirt. She was not wearing a bra and had her hair up, with only a few touches of makeup. My own hair was tied back.

“You look amazing Sophie, but everything seems a bit tight. And here I thought you had lost weight?”

“I have, these are the only things that would fit me comfortably. These are my clothes from when I was 15. So I look alright then?”

“Alright, yes indeed, very beautiful. Play your cards right, you will defiantly get some action tonight.”

“Mom! Tonight is just for us, no one else is allowed in. And I must say you don’t look pretty fantastic too. If anybody gets any action it will be you.”

“Sophie!” I teased. “Well let’s go and have fun, at least tonight, if anyone asks who you are, I can say you’re my hot young date.” Sophie laughed, seeing the funny side of what might happen tonight. We had in the past got rid of men before by saying we were lesbians on a date, Sophie’s idea.

We got the bus into town and headed to Pizza Heaven, for some proper American food. We were both very relaxed and even discussed some of the women we had been with. We left and I took Sophie to a place only a few blocks away. Top Cats was a place that opened about 8 years ago, and has been a very popular place, and has allowed me to easily find me some p***y for the nights I needed it. Just as we entered Sophie took my hand in hers, intertwining our fingers. We agreed that if we seemed like a couple, it would help her get in. And it did.

The moment we entered, their were a lot of eyes on us, some I even knew. Just to add to the charade, Sophie kissed me on the cheek and offered to get the first drinks in. I found us a table in the corner, close to the dance floor and music. Sophie joined me a few minutes later with a drink for each of us.

“Seems like a nice place, have you been here a lot mom.”

“Yes I have, but it might be fun tonight if you call me Amy?”

“Ok amy, so do you want to dance?”

“That would be lovely.” Sophie took my hand and we joined the slowly filling dance floor. The songs were fast and we got a few good songs in, dancing not close together, but close enough to hear each other sing to the songs that were playing. We returned to our seats to continue our drinks and talk more.

“Amy, don’t you worry anybody will know who I am?”

“No, in all the women I have been with, only Monica has ever been to our home, all the rest were either in hotels or their place. It is nice you are here with me tonight. With the exception of Monica, nobody really knows me like you do, especially now that you know I like women and about my extra-marital s*x life. I know it might seem like I am gloating the fact, but I really am not. I try very hard to remain faithful for as long as possible, but believe me, it can be difficult. It is just nice to be able to talk to somebody about it.” Sophie leaned closer towards me so she could talk discreetly.

“Mom, I will always be available to talk, even when I go to University I will only be a phone call away. Maybe when you feel the need to wander, you could come spend a weekend with me. You can at least have your privacy to explore your need for a good woman, so it does not get back to dad. I am sure there are plenty of gay bars around campus, maybe even some students might be interested.”

“Thank you honey for your loving support and understanding, I really have missed you so much.” A few tears left my eyes as I pulled Sophie into a hug. I missed being able to talk to someone about my feelings, and that my own daughter accepted my choices, helped me to deal with the guilt I sometimes felt. During the hug I could feel Sophie’s breasts against mine, it felt wonderful. It did not feel s****l, but I did enjoy the closeness I had missed with Sophie.

“Anytime Amy. Plus I haven’t been with anybody since Germany, which was about a month ago. It was a woman and I do miss being with a woman.”

“Well if anybody interests you tonight you are free to take them home if you want.”

“Tonight, it is only you that interests me.” If it was just the way she said it, that made me think she was talking in s****l terms, the smile and gleam in her eye sure made it seem that it was defiantly s****l interest towards me. I just smiled, but felt nervous. Was my daughter flirting with me? Just then Sophie got a tap on the shoulder and an invitation to dance. Sophie looked at me and I nodded. I knew who she was and if anybody could distract Sophie it would be her, I felt slightly uncomfortable with Sophie at the moment.

I watched Sophie dance, seeing the way Sally was touching her, and at first my maternal instincts kicked in, wanting to protect her. But then I realised I was jealous. I did not know what to do, and then suddenly I got my own distraction.

“Hi Amy.”

“Hi Teri, how are you?”

“Very well thank you. I see Sally managed to get her hands on your date. I am amazed you let her dance with Sally, you know how she is.”

“Sophie can look after herself. Sally just might get disappointed tonight.”

“I must say that this is the first time you have brought someone here. It must be serious, in all the time I have known you, you have always come alone.”

“Sophie is very special to me. How about you, anybody special at the moment?”

“Only you. I feel a bit put out to tell you the truth. You said you never dated, and here you are with someone special. Sally said that she would like to play with your date, giving me the chance to get you.” Teri could be a b***h and had managed to steal a couple of my dates in the past. She said if she could not have me more than once, she would stop me from doing it to others. I knew she was jealous, even though before we had s*x we agreed it would only be a one time thing. She told me afterwards that she wanted more. This was about 3 years ago, and she still had strong feelings for me. Though I just thought she hated the fact that she could not have her way with me again.

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Teri approached me and tried to kiss me. I tried very hard to push her away and was struggling. Suddenly Teri got off me then I saw her on her back with a very angry Sophie stood over her, shouting and pointing in her face. I looked up and saw Sally stood alone on the dance floor, she seemed pretty angry she had failed to get Sophie. This made me very happy and proud of Sophie. But Teri seemed a bit pissed off and I needed to help Sophie. So I got up and took Sophie’s hand and dragged her onto the dance floor. I nudged sally with my shoulder as I walked passed her.

“Oh I am sorry Sally. But it seems Teri needs your help again.” But before she stormed off, I got my own two cents in with the conniving couple. “And Sally, if you ever go near or touch my Sophie again like that, you had better think twice, because I will f**k you up you bitch.” She yanked her arm away and walked away. She helped Teri, before they both left together.

“Friends off yours?” Sophie asked as we dance and held each other close.

“Not really, though I have slept with them both. Sally, the one you danced with was trying to get you away from me, while Teri tried to get what she wanted.”

“Well you did seem to be struggling; I hope you are ok that I came to help.”

CD, some soft jazz, while I poured us both a nightcap, cognac. I handed Sophie hers as I took a seat next to her on the couch.

“Did you enjoy tonight?

“Always. It was always the best time when just the two of us would go out. I looked forward to it each time and had fun. So when you asked about tonight I knew it would be a good night. Except those two bitches, I had a really great time with you, especially being your date. How about you, did you have fun?”

“Unexpected.” I said as thought about what she said about us being on a date. If I was honest, it was a date, more than mother and daughter having a drink.

“What’s wrong Amy? Is it about sally, and what she did to me, because I can handle myself now?”

“I know you can, you certainly have grown over the year. You went away a caterpillar and returned home a butterfly.”

“I like the analogy and I agree. Before I went, I was afraid to be alone with someone. Now I know what I want and how to get it. I am not scared anymore.”

“So why didn’t you? I would not have minded.”

“But I would have, tonight was about us. I just wanted to be with you.”

“Come to bed with me Sophie?”

“Yes.” she replied. And for the first time we looked in each others eyes, I had mine closed since we started to dance. I could see the desire and need in her eyes, and when she smiled at me, I was sure she could see mine. I smiled back as I held out my hand, which she took and I guided her upstairs. Once both of us were inside my room and Sophie had closed the door. We moved instantly towards each other and kissed.

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“I need you Sophie. I want you so much.”

“I need you too Amy, I want to see you naked, then feel your naked skin against mine.” If there was any doubt she wanted to have s*x with me, it left when she said that. I returned to kissing her, as my fingers slipped under the hem of her t-shirt. I broke the kiss and lifted the t-shirt up and off her body. Oh my god, no tan line was the first thing I thought. But then I moved my hands to touch and feel her breasts. Her skin was so soft, her areolas dark, darker than mine. Sophie had her arms at her side, but soon moved them to help me removed my own t-shirt. I raised my arms to help her, and then I put my hands behind my back to unclasp my bra. Sophie helped remove my bra, and then she began to explore my breasts.

fuck…….oh my god.” I removed my fingers and lay at the side of her. I licked my fingers then wrapped my arms around Sophie and held her close as her breathing steadied.

“That was amazing Sophie,

“The thanks need to go to you. That is the greatest orgasm I have ever had. Words just don’t do it justice.”

You too, do you feel ready for more?

“Definitely, I want to watch you c*m this time?”

“So do I.” So we slowly moved and got into bed together. I kissed her lips, both of us tasting each other. I moved my hand slowly down her body, feeling the softness and her wonderful, amazing body. I squeezed her firm ass before moving my hand between her legs. She parted them to give me access. Her own hand was now between my legs and soon we were fingering each other. Our thumbs rubbing the others c**t as we slowly made love to each other. And it was love as I pulled my lips off hers. Looking in Sophie’s eyes, I saw the love and trust in them. I smiled and gave her a quick peck on the lips before we started to make each other c*m. Our breathing got heavier and faster, our moaning got louder and we found it increasingly difficult to keep our eyes open. We could both feel it; our orgasms were growing, getting closer to the explosive release. I moved my fingers faster as did Sophie. Our hips began to move in rhythm to each others fingers as we brought each other closer.

“I love you mom.”

“Love you too Sophie. Keep going, I am so close baby.”

“Me too, oh god, harder, faster mom.” We were both sweating a lot by now, but we did not stop or slow down, we just moved harder and faster until finally I came, followed shortly by Sophie. We both screamed each others names. After a few minutes we both removed our fingers, and licked them. I pulled Sophie closer and kissed her as we held each other close and fell asleep, happy.

The next morning, when I awoke I was spooned behind Sophie, my cheek resting against hers. Her gentle breathing was sweet music to my ears. I smiled as I remembered last night; I could still taste Sophie on my mouth. I gently kissed Sophie’s neck, and as she slowly stirred I moved my kisses towards her mouth. She turned and kissed me, while her eyes remained closed, still not quite awake yet.

“Morning mom, so it wasn’t a dream?” she asked as she finally opened her eyes to look at me. I moved a strand her hair away from her eyes, staring into them.

“No, it wasn’t, are you happy it wasn’t?”

“Definitely, best s*x I have ever had. I love you so much mom.”

“Love you too Sophie, I have missed you so much and last night proved to me how much I needed you.”

“So do you want to continue?”

“I do, but I think we both could use a shower first, I have never sweated so much in one night. And afterwards let’s have some breakfast.”

“Sounds good, I have never shared a shower with another person before.” And she jumped out of bed naked towards the bathroom. I watched her beautiful naked body as it moved towards the door. She turned around, allowing me to get a good look at her body in the morning light. She posed slightly as she asked, “Coming?” I smiled as I got out of bed and took her hand as together went to have a shower and more.

Over breakfast we discussed what happens next. I told Sophie that all the times I met other woman to have s*x with, they could never compare to what we did that night. And if we were to continue, even when she went to University, as long as I could be with her occasionally, I would like to keep having s*x with her. And I would never need to find another woman ever again as long as I could be with Sophie. She was only too happy to agree. So before she left for University and while her father was out the house, we continued to make love whenever we could. Once she did go to University, I would visit once a month to get my fix of Sophie.

Even though I had my husband and Sophie did eventually fall in love with a very caring young man named David, we continued our affair for as long as it would last. Sophie said she could finally understand the need for s*x with a good woman, she said it really helped her relationship and eventual marriage with David.