nomi and beau

5

That night, Nomi met his mother at the hotel's luxury dining room to have dinner. He came towards his mother to hug her from her back without she realised. "Hey, ma. I miss you.", he said. "Hey.", Mrs Aleena said with a smile on her face. She was a little shock that Nomi hugged her from the back ag first. Nomi sat down and ordered his food.

"Where's your teacher?", Mrs Aleena asked.

"Probably in his room, I guess. By the way, I'm sorry I was really not feeling well yesterday. I had to just stay in my room.", Nomi said as he hold his mother's hand and smiled.

"You okay now?", Mrs Aleena asked while touching his forehead thinking if Nomi has a fever.

"No, ma. I don't have a fever. I just have a little stomach ache yesterday.", Nomi lied of what really happened to him yesterday.

"It must be the airport sandwich you ate.", Mrs Aleena said.

"I don't know. Hahaha.", Nomi chuckled.

"So you feel better now? Why don't you tell me, I can go buy some meds for you at a pharmacy or bring you to the clinic or something. You're always being quite when you're sick or something. You never tell me.", Mrs Aleena started to nag at Nomi in concern.

"Ahh, it's not that serious. I'm okay now. I don't want you to be worried over something small like this. I can handle this.", Nomi said, trying to calm his mother down.

"Yeah, I know. But you should tell me, okay? So I know your situation. Don't go through it alone, tell me. Let me know.", Mrs Aleena said.

"Okay, ma. I'm sorry.", Nomi looked down after he said that. He really did feel bad of pushing his mother away like that yesterday.

"You look happy today. I haven't seen that smile in so long?", Mrs Aleena asked delightedly.

"What? I look happy? Hahaha.", Nomi laughed in thinking how the hell he could be looking happy today.

"Yes. You made some friends at the school?", Mrs Aleena asked with a smile.

"Yeah. They're great. I met this girl. I don't know. I kinda like her, kinda not.", Nomi said.

"Who is she?", asked Mrs Aleena, feeling interested to listen to Nomi.

"Her name's Beau. She's the one who's gonna be my partner for the show. She's one beautiful girl, but man she gets on my nerves.", Nomi said and he shook his head and sighed as he could already feel stressed by thinking about her.

"Beau? Is she french?", Mrs Aleena asked in curiosity.

"No, she's not. It's just her name is french.", Nomi took a sip of his drink that he just got from the waiter.

"Why you seem so mad at her?", Mrs Aleena giggled a little.

"I don't know. She fuckin made fun of my name the whole time at school. Like what's wrong if my name is Nomi?", Nomi frowned.

"Huh? That's weird. I never heard anybody making fun of your name?", Mrs Aleena raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know. What a bitch.", Nomi said and he drinks his juice. This time, he drinks more than before as he is feeling stressed thinking about her.

"My God. Why is the food not here yet? I'm fuckin hungry just by thinking about her. I need some energy to face her tomorrow.", Nomi said in irritation and he begins to rub his stomach to show that he is hungry. Mrs Aleena laughed at Nomi's reaction.

"I think she is just joking. Your name is not that bad. Or maybe she's not used to Malaysian names. Who knows?", Mrs Aleena giggled.

"Or maybe she is dumb.", Nomi rolled his eyes in feeling annoyed. "She's not making fun of my real name, she makes fun of the name, 'Nomi'. I don't understand what is so funny about that.", Nomi expressed his irritation.

"How old is she?", Mrs Aleena asked.

"I don't know. I forgot to ask her that. Maybe she's f*****g five but has a body of a teenager, I guess.", Nomi glared.

"Oh, c'mon. Nothing's wrong with that name. I created that name for you since you were a baby because I thought it was cute. Because you were so cute and very beautiful when you were a baby, I felt like Najmi is such a grown up name. So I call you Nomi because I feel like it's a baby name rhyming with Najmi. It kinda stick to you till you're today being eighteen. I thought I wanted to change it, just calling you Najmi but I got so used to call you Nomi. I can't change that. Hahaha. I'm sorry.", Mrs Aleena laughed. Nomi smiled looking at his mother.

"I mean, I don't hate her. I just feel annoyed with how she laughs at my name all the time. But she is just so funny, and I can't call out her name because she's really pretty. Just like her name.", Nomi smiled and looked down.

"Maybe she just wanna be friends with you. You guys stop acting like kindergarten kids, teasing each other's names. Hahahaha.", Mrs Aleena laughed. Nomi laughed along too.

The food they ordered has arrived. As they eat, they have a really good time talking to each other. Nomi talked about he also met Joji and Hannah at school. Nomi made some jokes and they laughed at it. Nomi could feel he is distracted from his sadness for a while that he is with someone who makes him feel at home, his mother. It has been a long time since the last time they talk to each other like this. Nomi could not even remember when was the last time, but this, moments like this felt good. It makes him feel at home.

After hours of talking and laughing, they got quite and stare at each other. Mrs Aleena smiled looking at his son. It is already around 11pm and there are barely people there.

"I haven't had this kind of moment with you in so long. I miss this.", Mrs Aleena said, genuinely feeling happy.

"I feel like we never really have this kind of moment before, mama.", Nomi said softly.

"I know. I understand.", Mrs Aleena said and looked down in feeling sad.

"I really apologise about yesterday, ma.", Nomi smiled sadly in feeling regret.

"It's okay. I'm used to it.", Mrs Aleena smiled without looking at Nomi.

"You're not, ma. I'm sorry.", Nomi said. He closed his eyes for a while in feeling regret of himself.

"I know you're here, but I miss you.", Mrs Aleena looked at Nomi and said that. Nomi could hear her voice cracked a little when she said that.

"I know, I miss the old me too.", Nomi said as he takes his mother's hand and holds it in his, his warm hands could warm his mother's cold hands. He hold it tightly so she could feel warm.

"I don't know, the old me was never really happy, but at least, I wasn't as worse as I am now.", Nomi said slowly. Mrs Aleena failed to say any words as she is trying her best to handle her tears. She could feel she has lost him for good. He is not like he once used to be anymore. Nomi could see her beautiful brown eyes are turning red and are filling with water of tears. Her pointed nose turning red too. She could feel her heart is breaking inside as how her relationship with her son has broken apart although they live together under the same roof everyday.

"Ma, all my life, I feel like I couldn't really find myself. Now, I feel like I have completely lost myself. I'm struggling to find myself for years. I couldn't even remember the last time, I was genuinely happy, the last time I had myself all together or maybe that never happened. But I want you to know, even if I have lost myself completely, just know I will always love you. I'm sorry, that I tend to distant myself from you. I don't want to hurt you because I'm hurt myself. I don't want to break you, or anyone else around me because I'm broken myself. If I'm sad, I just wanna be sad alone. I hate to have anyone seeing me being sad. I don't want anyone to feel the hurt I feel inside. I will always love you, even when I'm far away from you. I will pray for you to Allah everyday. That's how I love you. You are always in my duas. I'm trying my best to be okay, I'm trying my best to find myself. Pray for me, okay? Pray for me to be okay, someday. Pray for me to finally getting to feel happiness one day. Just know that, you will never lost me. Whoever I will become one day, wherever I will be, I'm always near to your heart, and you will always have a special place in my heart. I don't know when will we ever gonna have this kind of moment again or if we really gonna have this moment again. Everything in my life feels like it is falling apart. So, I'm telling you this now, I love you.", Nomi said calmly with a smile. He does not feel like crying as he does not want to show his weakness in front of his mother.

He does not know how much time he has left with his mother. To be honest, Nomi does feel sick. His whole body that has filled with scars and cuts feels very painful. His body marks a lot of bruises that done by his own self feels hurt until today. He feels too weak to go through his days. He constantly feel ill and he does not know how much time he has left in this world. However, he constantly tries to strengthen himself to show that he is not weak because he knows if he shows his weakness, nobody will care. He feels like no one will care even if he asks for help, even if he screams for help. No one will hear him so he chooses to keep it everything to himself. He walks even if his legs feel hurt by those cuts he did, he strengthen himself by wearing long sleeves shirts and hipster like baggy clothes to look cool so no one will see what lies underneath those clothes.

He feels like he failed at everything, he failed in his studies, he failed in love, even failed to find himself. And mostly, he failed in life. He feels like he wants to go away, far from here. He wants to go home, but there is always something that keep him holding it back, hope. Deep down, he has a hope that he would meet happiness someday. However, he thought if he really is to die someday, he is ready. He is ready to go from this world. He does not want to be here anymore.

"You know, I am always here if you need me. I will always pray for your happiness. I don't know what you are going through, because you never want to tell me your problems. But I know you are having a bad time. It's okay. I will always give you some space. I have to accept you have your own privacy. But I will always pray for you in my duas. Please don't ever give up, okay. I understand if you don't want to tell me your problems, but if someday you want to share with me, I will listen to you, okay? I care about you, a lot. Don't be scared, okay? I support you. I'm not like papa, I will never judge you. I love you more than anything else in this world. You are really strong to handle this alone, just know that I am proud of you, love.", Mrs Aleena tries her best to be positive about his son. She knows that he is definitely not okay, but Nomi always convinces her that he is.

"Thank you for understanding, mama.", Nomi said softly with a weak smile on his face. He feels really tired and weak.

The saddest part is that, she could not have a chance to be a true mother to Nomi to hear him out as Nomi is a really private person, even to her that gave birth to him. It really hurts her to think that her son does not trust her. She feels like Nomi never lets her know everything about him now. Nomi is too hurt and broken that he got scared of everyone including her, which is heartbreaking.

Mrs Aleena would always blames herself for marrying the wrong man who is also Nomi's stepfather, which resulted in Nomi being mentally and emotionally abused as he grew up. Nomi was always physically abused by him too when he was just a little kid. She blames herself that he grew up being scared of people and even herself for marrying him. She always tries her best to find some ways to free Nomi and herself from him but always fail. She blames herself for not protecting him safely. He grows up shutting everyone out, running away from everyone and being secretive over everything.

They got up from the table and they hugged each other. Nomi could feel his mother hugged him so tightly as she feels like she has lost him for good. Nomi hugged her back softly and lets her hug him that way.

"Ma, I need to go to my room. Goodnight.", Nomi said as he is released from his mother's hug.

"Okay. I love you.", Mrs Aleena said with a smile but Nomi could still see those sad eyes of hers when she said that.

"I love you too.", Nomi said softly. He started to walk away from her as his heart felt very heavy that he wanted to cry. He knows what he did seems egoistic but he does not want his mother to see him crying.

Nomi got into the elevator and he broke down into tears in there. His heart will break everytime seeing his mother cries. He knows he has disappointed her a lot but he does not know what to do. Everything feels like it is falling apart. He feels like there is no way out of this. He has nowhere to find any help to save himself from his depression.

He got into his hotel room and he lets out the rest of his tears there. After crying, he feels tired and he fell asleep. Oh, how he wishes to die in his sleep because he does not want to be in this world anymore.

•

Beau is dancing around her room to The Beatles song out loud as she is alone in her house. This girl does not worry if she breaks her ankle again. Her parents have to work overtime shifts so they usually come back home from work late at night. Beau's mother works as a psychiatrist in a hospital in Los Angeles. Meanwhile, Beau's father is an accountant. Both of them own jobs that require high responsibilities so they are barely at home. It is hard for Beau to meet them or even see them in a glance everyday.

Sometimes, when she misses her parents so much, she would rather go out to meet her parents at work. Beau usually would see her mother when she is bored at home as her mother is more comfortable to have Beau coming to see her at work. Unlike Beau's father who is usually not very comfortable having her coming to see him at work as he does not want to be disturbed.

Beau's brother, Ben is off to university so of course she is usually alone at home except when Ben is having his semester breaks. For now, Ben is having his semester break from his university, so he is out at his part time job as a cashier in Walmart. He only works there as a part timer if he is having his semester break. Of course, Beau's parents bought the house but as Beau is always alone, she tends to make her house as her own. She would change the house's appearance such as decorating the house or draw on the walls and her parents would not even notice it as they are too tired when get back home from work. She would invite the two of her best friends, Joji and Hannah for a sleepover every once a month and her parents would never know about that. Beau feels like she is free to do anything there. She even feels free to walk around the house naked sometimes, but she barely does that. Meanwhile, his brother would bring his girlfriend every weekends and Beau would hear those noises they make at night when they are in the bed together. Her parents barely have free time to spend at home. They would be off to work very early in the morning and come home from work late at night. In conclusion, it is hard for her to see them in a day.

Luckily for Beau, at least her parents still remember that they still have their children at home. They would constantly call her to check if she is alright, especially her mother. Her mother would ask if she has eaten, if she has done her homework, if she has taken a bath, she would ask how is her day at school. Beau will let her know everything about what she is doing everyday. If there are days that her parents come back home from work early, they would bring home Beau's favourite foods from the store or some presents to let her know that she is still loved. However, Beau is constantly sad and feels like she never got enough attention from them as she has to be alone all the time. Among her family members, she gets the most attention from her brother. Eventually, if Ben is not at home, they would still text each other everyday to check up on each other.

Beau feels so empty so she blast off The Beatles out loud that night. After The Beatles' song is over, Lost In Japan by Shawn Mendes came on. This is Beau's favourite song at the moment, she did a little dance following the song. She lays down onto her bed and she looks up to the ceiling. She came to the one of Piano Boy's videos that she commented on, it feels weird that he has not reply to her comment, 'Pls come back! I miss youuuu!' yet. She noticed Piano Boy has not replied to anyone's comment for a while. She is hoping that Piano Boy is okay, she starts to overthink that Piano Boy does not like to reply to her comment anymore as he used to always reply to her comment everytime she praises his singing. He would reply, 'thank you.' . If Beau is lucky that day, Piano Boy would replied to her comments thanking her with a smiling emoji or the sweetest one, with a love emoji. There is another thought that Beau is overthinking about, even worse she thinks Piano Boy might be leaving YouTube?

"Noooooo!!!! Please don't! He is my life!", Beau yelled accidentally as she thought Piano Boy would not make any videos anymore.

"I don't care if you don't like to reply to my comments anymore but f**k, post something. I'm bored.", Beau said in a low tone to her phone screen that shows Piano Boy's YouTube channel. As she is listening to the Shawn Mendes's song that is playing in her Spotify's playlist, she started to miss Piano Boy. Oh how she wishes to get to hold Piano Boy's beautiful hands and gets lost in Japan with him.

Beau is frustrated at the thought of why Piano Boy never reveals his face. She is dying to know how he looks like. Beau always prays to get to meet Piano Boy someday. She wants to take a picture with him and frame it in her room and hug him as a thank you for making her smile with that beautiful soothing voice. She dreams to ask for his autograph. Or eventually, being her boyfriend or the best, being her husband someday. Ugh, why Piano Boy is such a private person? He never wants to show his face!

After the song is over, Beau suddenly thinks about Nomi. Oh, how she wishes to have his phone number and annoy him. She does think the name 'Nomi' is cute, but why for him? He is too grown to have a baby name like that. She could not wait to go to school tomorrow and ask him for his number, but she knows Nomi hates her. She is thinking how is she going to ask this sensitive boy? Of course, Nomi would not give her his number as he does not want to get annoyed by her.

She took her phone and got out Spotify to FaceTime Joji as she thinks it will help her on how to get Nomi's phone number. Beau rings Joji for a few seconds and he picks it up immediately then the FaceTime begins.

"Yo where ya at?", Beau asked as she is not very familiar with Joji's background surrounding, the background is dark as if he is at outside the house or something. In addition, the background is not really clear.

"I'm at the front yard, sorry the line's not clear here. Imma come to my room now.", Joji said in a very unclear voice.

"You better. You sound like Wall-E.", Beau said and she giggled.

"Hahaha. f**k you!", Beau heard Joji laughed in the unclear FaceTime. Beau waits for a while to have to Joji coming into his room.

"b***h! What takes you so long? C'mon!", Beau joked out loud to annoy Joji as she knows his family is around. Joji who is already taking the stairs places phone in front of his face and showed a finger to Beau with an annoyed face. "Shhh!", he whispered harshly. Beau laughed at Joji's reaction.

"Beau! Why would you curse in the FaceTime before I came to my room? My mum will hear you!", Joji said in feeling panic and annoyed as he already came into his room.

"You're f*****g late!", Beau smiled naughtily.

"I know but f*****g chill, man. I was in the kitchen washing my hands, the fuck." , Joji explained as he lays down onto his bed.

"What the f**k were you doing in the kitchen?", Beau asked and frowned.

"I was washing my hands? Because I just took out the trash motherfucker." , Joji laughed awkwardly as he is still thinking if his parents have heard Beau calling him 'b***h' in the phone.

"Oh s**t! I forgot to take out my trash!", Beau said with a shocked face.

"What?", Joji asked with a confused face.

"It has been three days! s**t!" , Beau puts her hand on her head.

"You dumb b***h. Now tell me, why the f**k are you face timing me?", Joji said with a numb face.

"Bro, what do you think of that Nomi boy?", Beau asked in curiosity.

"Nomi? Hmmm..I don't know. He's okay. What's wrong?", Joji asked, starting to feel interested with what Beau wants to say about him.

"Seriously? He's just okay to you?", Beau asked and frowned.

"Yeah, I mean he's cool and s**t. He's just a little shy I guess. Kind of an introvert, maybe?", Joji describes Nomi's attitude.

"Bro, that b***h sensitive as shit." , Beau said in feeling unsatisfied.

"Yeah, because why not? Your ass keeps whining about his name all the motherfucking time. He's done.", Joji defended Nomi.

"Oh, please. It's just his name. Nothing else.", Beau rolled her eyes.

"I know, but that name is probably special to him. Like your name is Beau. Of course, it sounds special. But if you were to meet someone who doesn't know s**t about French, you are gonna get so dragged down to hell with that name. Like that day, you kicked that new kid in the crotch cause he thinks your name is weird.", Joji smirked.

"Whatever, he makes fun of my real name. 'Nomi' doesn't mean anything. I don't make fun of his real name, uhhh what's his real name again? I forgot. My brain keeps sticking to 'Nomi'.", Beau laughed.

"Najmi Khan.", Joji smiled.

"Ahhh, you see? His real name sounds hotter than his nickname. 'Nomi' is a f*****g baby name.", Beau laughed after she ended her sentence.

"I don't know. My mum called me Joji since I was little. And it sticks to me until I grow up today. Same goes with him, I guess.", Joji explained.

"Hey, I'm not that bad. I do think his name is cute. I just love to annoy the s**t out of him. Making his ass angry. You can literally see how innocent he looks at his face. Hahaha! Do you think he's really mad at me already? Or he just thinks I'm joking.", Beau giggled.

"b***h, of course he is mad but he acts cool with it. I can totally tell. He is probably like that guy in the meme I saw on i********: the other day.", Joji laughs as he suddenly thinks of the funny meme.

"Really, what meme?", Beau begins to giggle.

"Wait, I'll send it to you.", Joji immediately sends the meme to Beau.

"Hahaha!", Beau started to laugh out loud. Joji laughed along out loud too.

"Okay..okay! I'll say sorry to him tomorrow! But I wanna ask for his number, but I'm scared.", Beau said after she stopped laughing.

"Uhhh..what did I just hear? You're scared?", Joji tried to hold in laughter after he heard what Beau just said to him.

"No, motherfucker! I'm not like scared scared! I'm shy to face him asking for his number! He probably wants to kill me after I teased him all day today!", Beau pouted her plumpy lips.

"You can tell Mr Haze you wanna sit on his face but you can't ask Nomi for his number? Can't relate. Hahahaha!", Joji laughed at Beau.

"Ughhh! You gotta help me! I can't act desperate to him, I gotta be a deadass to him. I'm interested to be friends with him. I need a guy advice!", Beau said.

"C'mon, he seems like s nice guy. He can't be too mad at you. It was nothing serious. He will give you his number.", Joji smiled as he feels confident about Nomi.

"Okay, you're a guy right? You act like Nomi, and I will come saying sorry to you. Because that guy seems sensitive as s**t. I know he will hate me!", Beau said in feeling regret.

"Okay, I'll be Nomi. 3,2,1, action!", Joji said.

"Yo, hey. Dude, I'm sorry about yesterday. Your name is kinda cute. Bro, I'm sorry. And I wanna be friends with you. Please don't hate me! Please! Please! Please! And I need your number!", Beau started to pout at the end of her sentence.

"Remember, act cute, don't go straight up to him like a gangster. You'll scare him away.", Joji said.

"Is he dead? No, right? What to be scared of? Hey, I might be a gangster but I'm cute. I am two in one. And you motherfucker, I told you to stay in character!", Beau said proudly.

"Why would? Of course he will say "Oh, I forgive you." or some s**t like that.", Joji frowned.

"You know what, Jo? I sound desperate. Ew. How about you go to him and ask him for his number, just act like you're the one who wants it, not me.", Beau suggested.

"Why me? You're the one who wants to be friends with him? I mean, he will think why the f**k do I want his number out of nowhere? We are not gonna meet anymore after the show is over. We're not that close like chill.", Joji said.

"Man, you are not helping me.", Beau pouted.

"Why do you wanna be friends with him? I mean y'all are not going to meet each other anymore after the show is over. He's gonna go back to Malaysia, and you're gonna stay here. It's pointless? I don't know I don't wanna sound like an asshole. I mean he is kind and all that, but he's probably gonna to lose contact with us after the show is over.", Joji explained.

"You know what, maybe I'll ask Mr Greg. I think he has his number. But then, ahhhh s**t! He will ask Nomi that I want his number. He will think I'm desperate.", Beau said in frustration.

"Dude, I'm telling you. Just go ask for his number. I don't think he's gonna be like too mad at you. He's not an asshole, c'mon.", Joji tried to calm Beau.

"Really? He won't hate me, right?", Beau pouted.

"No, just don't be a stupid b***h. That's all.", Joji said.

"You know what, you suck at giving advices. But thanks for that, it kinda helped.", Beau said with a lazy smile.

"Beau, stop overthinking. You're always overthinking over some small stupid s**t. I can tell Nomi is a mature guy. It's ridiculous if he wants to hate you over this. Of course, he seemed annoyed at you today but I'm sure he'll get over that. You're my best friend, I am confident you'll get his number tomorrow. Your ass might be a gangster, but you pretty. Tell me if he's being mean to you, I'll kick his d**k. But I don't think he would. He is kind. I am positive of that.", Joji chuckled while trying to calm Beau who is getting sad.

"I feel so f*****g alone at home.", Beau sighed harshly.

"Wish I was there, your room is more fun than mine.", Joji pouted.

"Please, b***h! You and Hannah, come over here this weekend.", Beau said.

"Dude, do you need to say that? I'm down always.", Joji said excitedly.

"Do we have homework today?", Beau asked in curiosity.

"We have Chemistry homework but I'm not gonna do that.", Joji said lazily.

"Good. My boy's getting brave. Proud of ya.", Beau said and started to laugh. Joji laughed along too.

"Alright. I gotta study. See you tomorrow. Oh, and good luck!", Joji said delightedly.

"Alright. Bye bye!", Beau said and she turned off her phone to study the show's script she got today. She began to focus on the script and it is very interesting. She could imagine how Nomi and her would be like in the show. She imagined how cool they are going to be for the show. The script is so simple but it is amazing. She is grateful to have the brilliant Mr Greg as her teacher. If they still had to stick with Mrs Felicia's script, of course her brain might have exploded. She went to sleep after studying the script for two hours.