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Memorandum 3
The_Well:DATE: Monday, May 15th, 1837
TO: All Staff
FROM: Mathias Hornswallow, Chief Conservator
SUBJECT: Ruinous Shenanigans and other such Childish Devilry
It has come to my attention that, during my absence, a great many of my underlings partook in what has since become known as “Ascot Day”. I am INCENSED by such displays of unprofessional frivolity! This is the epicenter of the world’s foremost institution devoted to hortimystic studies. It is not the Henley Regatta!
Tying Will-o’-the-whips to sprigs of Skyhover Brambles and using hand fans to race them (and placing wagers!) is behavior one finds among brigands, ne’er-do-wells, and the intellectually incurious, not hortimystic conservators. The Upper Atrium is not a hippodrome! And while I am certain that allowin
