Sunshine

LVII

EVERYONE is now preparing to sleep as they were forced to. The night ended early when two large females, always those two large females broke into a fight again. There might not be a day that will pass by quietly at the female dormitory of the district jail. Everyone is just so up for drama. Either with whispering gossips to ear-piercing angry high pitched shouts to slaps and tugging of hairs unsympathetically. But Olivia, the one they collectively called newbie was just there to watch. And she’s also thankful nothing of those dramas reached her yet. But unbeknownst to her it was because she dared to kill a prominent figure in the society. The ladies who only saw the worst of the worst all their lives always had this special space to revere a woman who f****d up any given man. Olivia has gained their respect.

It was a call from the prison guard that woke Olivia up from her slumber, hours after they were all put back into each of their own cells to sleep. Still sluggish, definitely because of the disturbed sleep and the poorly lighted prison Olivia stood up from the mat and fixed her clothes. She still managed to do all those wittingly. The cell opened as the guard instructed her to follow. The scratching of the guard’s boots and Olivia’s slippers made a resounding noise at the prison cells they passed by. But still it wasn’t enough to wake anyone up. They walked for a while until the halls changed. From the dark prison cell halls they are now walking along the well lighted hallway with rooms lined up next to each other on her both sides. Each door painted black in between the clean white walls. It was a place unfamiliar to her. One of the doors opened for Olivia as the guard instructed her to come in, closing the door behind leaving her there.

The room is comparable to a bachelor’s pad. Walls came in white and furniture in shade of black and gray matching the colors outside. So Kahilom District Jail also has this special rooms for special people, Olivia noted to herself silently. It took quite a while for Olivia to notice the man who’s been there all the time waiting for her. He had his back faced on Olivia as he stared on whatever it is that can be looked over on those large windows in front of him. Olivia knew that back well.

“Romualdo.”

Olivia looked as those back as it slowly turned to her. She met Romualdo’s face. Looking more haggard from the last time she saw him. His eyes are deep from eyebags and his lips pursed. Chapped and lacked moisture. He only stayed silent. Standing still near the windows. Olivia couldn’t understand what she’s seeing. Was this the aftermath of the hospital stay? Or was the case taking toll on him? Olivia wasn’t sure if she was worried herself. But the image in front of her surely bothers her.

But that budding worry was met by a slap. The big and slightly crinkled of age hands of Romualdo touched Olivia’s face. Causing Olivia to forcefully face on her side, her cheeks stinging. Olivia is now both shocked and angry.

“What was that for?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Romualdo puffed, his same hand that slapped Olivia’s left cheek ran on his silvery hair. “Just what do you think you are doing?”

And that was when Olivia knew what was that slap for. For what did you surrendered yourself for?

“I wanted to get off of your grip forever. I failed to kill you but I actually have this last straw left. Going into prison isn’t really a bad idea.” Olivia rumbled. Her tongue is twisting with too much words and with how fast she’s talking. “And this room is actually very sexy. Do you know that I sleep on a single woven mat against the cold hard floor? So give this room to me. I could exchange it for a s*x if you want. Right on that bed.”

“You’re crazy.” Was what Romualdo said, but he still grabbed Olivia by the shoulders and threw her to bed. Olivia was thrown quite strong. She felt her back sting a little by the impact even if she landed perfectly on the soft mattress. She watched Romualdo unbuckle his own belt angrily until those went off with his pants. Revealing his underwear from the same brand he always had and an erected crotch. But he didn’t look like he want to f**k Olivia tonight. He endured the pain on his abdomen and chose to cater his anger over his lust.

“I can’t believe you, Olivia. I can’t believe I had to beg to spare your life only for you to do this!” He shouted. His full voice roared across the entire pad. “The Queen’s Spear. You’re supposed to be a dead woman, Olivia.”

“I thought it was God.”

“What?”

It was now turn for Romualdo to ask that one word question, confused on the sudden mention of the entity they say Holy and Just and whatever adjectives only to the greatest could be attached. The owner of the sacred name is a foreign to him. Someone he only know by His name.

“So it was you? It was you again who gave me life?”

Olivia said, her voice shaking and trailing to nowhere. It was as if she got shaken to her core. All her logic and reasoning leaving her. She was again wrong. Wrong on what she believed. She stood up and tugged the white underwear of Romualdo off and swallowed the erection whole. Pushing it to her tongue as if it’s the only thing she wanted.

“You have once again saved me.” Olivia said as she took a break from sucking. Her eyes are groggy and out of life. It’s as if she got drunk and poisoned. “I am now kneeling to you, my lord. Own me.”

Romualdo did not understand any of that. But he granted the request and f****d the begging woman on her knees. Over and over again until the night ended.

OLIVIA woke up on the prison cell. Her back flat on the floor against the woven mat that barely helped her fight with the night cold. It was a very usual morning for her and for everyone but she felt like she’s not supposed to be here. And that she’s supposed to be sleeping on a soft bed with gray sheets and that she’s almost sure her back actually touched it last night. But from where she’s standing right now suggests that it could be a dream. Though the pain in between her thighs is real.

The district jail kicked off its morning with a light breakfast delivered on each cells meant to be shared with every cell mates that will never be enough. It is of mere fact that rations should be increased. But it was a fact repeatedly ignored as if the growling stomachs of these women never mattered and that their scarcity was not of anyone’s concern but their own. The government surely f****d up on this side. Among other things that it’s been failing to.

“Magbanua. Visitor.”

Olivia fixed her hair and tied it well before going out, following the guard to the visitation area. She arrived first. She sat on the lone chair on her side of the room and waited. Soon after someone sat on the vacant chair in front of her. Their eyes met along the metal railings between them.

“Olivia.”

“Alex.”

Their names escaped from the mouth of each other almost in the same time. Overlapping with each other. They went quiet. The conversation continued with Alex’s “How are you?”

“I don’t know.” Olivia honestly answered. “It feels weird here but it isn’t really bad. How about you? You finally visited.”

“Yeah, I did.” Alex nodded, more to herself. “I think I finally can.”

“It must be really hard for you.”

That made Alex word out the thoughts that’s been lying on her head since the first day of the court trial. Since the day her lips met Carlos’ in the rain. That moment ended with a slap across Carlos’ face. Which he accepted quietly and openly and did not even twitch a face. That slapped was immediately forgiven together with the kiss. Their fantasies ended by the time the rain stopped. Now Alex has been dying to create another fantasy. To create another good thing that could delude herself among the ghosts of the past and the shadows of it. If fantasy is the only thing she could have then she will be okay with it. As fantasy really tasted good the last time she had it.

“This reality is hard to face, Olivia.” Alex summarized. Among the series of confusions and anger and despair and even doubts and wanting to die those all only meant one thing: their reality now is very hard to live. It could cost you your sanity. The way they couldn’t piece their lives back the way they were used to before is enough to drive all of them insane. It’s the way they lost everything in front of them helplessly. Everything taken away fast. They couldn’t see to where it drifted away. There was no chance of getting it back.

“I know.” Olivia whispered. “You don’t really have to come. I mean. You don’t really have to come regularly if it still pains you.”

“That’s for me to handle.” Alex uttered, sounding a bit pissed. Olivia only nodded to that. “What’s there left that I could do? I’m out there and you’re here.”

Once again Olivia nodded. The mess Alex is now unfolding to in front of her left her tongue tied. It was a mess that is just simply burnt out. She saw all the efforts Alex took just to get herself sit in front of her. And she also saw how she borrowed almost all her life’s energy to do it. To do this one visit that they couldn’t even hold time of. Olivia was stupid to do this to Alex. She was stupid that she did not spent any time with Alex before she surrendered herself. Now they don’t have anything to hold on to. All their memories together seemed distant and almost non-existing it scares. She should have confessed her sins to her before she confessed to the world. And there she was thinking she was being brave. Brave that she’s finally doing the right thing. But this one single fault is clouding her mind. Her one single fault after deciding to do everything right unfold in front of her.

It pains her how Alex can’t even lift her head right now to look at her. It pains her how Alex can’t even understand her own self. It pains her that she couldn’t reach her because of the f*****g metals standing straight and strong between them. And this pain is clouding her mind again. They were like smokes sh inhaled that made her laugh over nothing. Crazy over everything. It was a pain that almost made her turn back everything again. She was lying. But at least they were happy and Alex is happy. Olivia wanted to lie again.

The silence went on until the visitation time ran out.