Sunshine

XLII

THE dark night slowly crept in as it got deeper. As the moon is already at its peak it shone to the darkest highways and to the corners of dark rooms. Rooms that are kept dark for a reason, either as a place to hide or the hidden itself. A person is either slouched or laid back. Do you ball yourself at night? Or do you lay it bare and show its depth as well as its shallowness?

Then the you who was at the dark got revealed. You who is just starting to reveal yourself to the moon above, to the moon who never judge, to the moon who only shone on you. You showed your most naked truth, stripped with any pretension and grandiosity. The truest you howled to the moon.

It still feels dark. Even if the moon shone to its brightest and all the stars brightened up tonight even the dead ones. Even the dead ones tried their best for you. But it’s still dark.

We all felt in some ways that life is unfair. It is unfair to the point there’s no way to make it fair at all. But you’re sick. You’re tired. You just want the fairness even just once just so you could die peacefully. Even if it means you have to die right after seeing it. Right in the face of it.

Just how much of the law can someone put on his own hands? For sure, he has much that’s enough to sneak him out of whatever.

And she forgot that. She forgot that most obvious fact that it drove her crazy. How can she forget? When she saw it in a daily basis? How can she forget when her life itself is the result of his imposed power?

For a moment there she lost her mind. For a moment there she lost her reality. She lost it by thinking that the most natural flow of the earth is to punish the sinful and banish the evil. Who’s to say who’s sinful? And who’s to say a sin is the result of evil or not just pure mistake? Of course, not the powerless.

Those were all wishful thinking.

Suddenly the white sheets turned red. The pleasure he is moaning and groaning to got replaced with a sharp excruciating pain on his back. It’s a pain he never felt before but felt familiar. A stab on the back. Then he felt a hot sticky liquid run through his spine. The liquid sure felt hot, but his back and nape got cold. His life flashed on him, as well as the woman on his bed who is now holding a metal that shone bright on the moonlight. It is now dripping with the liquid streaming freely at his back.

Apparently the knife is not long enough to pierce them both.

“Don’t worry about dying tonight. I’ll go next.”

Olivia breathed, voice as cold as the night even in the thick blankets. It is as blank as the dark vastness of the night, too. It’s like you thought there’s something in it, an emotion perhaps. But it turns out there’s none. Nothing at all.

“Why?”

He asked in a trembling voice. His voice shook as his eyes shot in fear― fear that’s been lying there he only tried hard to push back finally took over. There wasn’t even a hint of confusion in his eyes even with his question. Romualdo Costales stared with fear as his body fell helplessly on the bed.

Olivia blinked, slowly. It was as if she’s trying to get a grip back to her reality though she’s fully aware of it. It was as if she’s confirming if what’s happening is real. When nothing changed after three blinks she sighed, and stared at Romualdo now gasping for his life. She stared hard as if taking notes, engraving it in her memory.

“Olivia…”

She heard her name before Romualdo closed his eyes. From his face her eyes flew down. There she saw the another fallen soldier who did not even accomplished himself tonight. She can’t help but imagine the pain it have been through. The c**k that stay erected.

“I’m sure they’ll let us f**k in hell.”

EVERY working day could be in some ways a daily cross to bare but at least we have the off work to look forward to everyday. That little excitement we have right at the moment we check out from work, that very moment we turn off our computer or lock off our lockers. But it’s actually the very moment we step off the premises of our workplace we could say we’re actually off work.

Then the late afternoon rush hour welcomes you on the way home, or wherever place that’s of in dire need of your presence. The impatience it bares that could sometimes just be a hidden excitement of what’s there waiting for you, be it friends you haven’t seen for a while, or a lover waiting for you on your movie date, or a night job that’s actually the embodiment of your dreams. Or it could be your favorite series and the refreshing tea waiting for you to be home, or for some a cooked meal and a lovely wife and children.

In this sense the late afternoon rush hour has been a favorite thing for our friends who has to go home, whatever form it may be. It must have been the one waiting for you that makes you impatient and not the traffic itself. But of course, it will never cease to be annoying.

After series of taking deep breaths in an effort to calm midst the impatience, Alex finally broke out a smile as she turned her car left, to the entrance of the subdivision where her home stood. Just like everyone is, among the hotheads Alex just also looks forward to be home after a long day. She stopped the car by the gate first, went out to open it, then drove the car again to the garage. Finally she’s home.

She took with her the flowers and cake she got along the way as she went out of the car. She just thought of doing the usual random things she does while closing the store earlier. She walk-run to the door and immediately turned the door knob open. When it didn’t budge she laughed, and fished her keys from her pockets to which she kind of struggled to since her hands are full. Finally it opened.

It’s dark.

Alex’s smile melted. She remained standing outside the door, blinking as if adjusting her eyes. It’s still dark.

She removed her shoes and left it at the shoe rack by the door before finally coming in. She crawled her hands on the wall where she remembered where the switch to the lights are. It flicked open.

“It’s really empty…”

Alex whispered to herself, as if coming to a dark home is still not enough proof she came home to an empty house. She walked to the table and put the flowers and cake on top of it then pulled a chair to sit on. She started untying the cake box, opened it, and took out the cake. It’s a strawberry shortcake, Olivia’s favorite.

Sweets is never been her thing, though Alex can vaguely remember she liked it for some time before. And she isn’t sure if Olivia liked it or not, since her sweet intake actually only depends on her mood. But in that sense maybe she actually liked sweets, since she never saw her turn down a favorite.

Alex stood up and went to the kitchen and came back with a plate, a fork and a knife. She started cutting a slice of the cake she’s only been staring at until now. She enjoyed her slice quietly on the dining table, taking her time with every bite. She’s still alone when she finished. She sighed, and stood up to wash the used dishes and also did all the menial chores left behind. Afterwards she went to shower.

She let the cold running water run through her clothed body. Slowly, in the shower not opened fully her clothes got wet. She only started taking them off when they started to feel heavy on her body. She went on with her usual shower routine.

She’s still alone when she finished.

Alex lied on bed in her wet hair, not bothering to dry it off first. She took her usual space and hugged Olivia’s pillow.

“I’m sorry for making you come back to a dark home all this time. I didn’t know it was this sad.”

Alex drifted to sleep.

IN the dark, amidst the loneliness and solemness it comes with could also come with eyes staring, trying to hide itself where it stood. It could be watching you or the people around you. On most times those eyes only came for you but got interested with who you talk and laugh with later on. Now they are interested with everything you.

In no one’s knowledge some pair of eyes looked over the house number 3567 that entire night, that night Olivia failed to come back. Those eyes only ended up seeing some woman sleeping alone on a queen size bed hugging a pillow and a strawberry shortcake missing a slice left on the table. Nothing substantial in them, but a living thing especially with a beauty that can’t be hidden no matter how tried will always spark an interest.

Those eyes watched as Alex sleep quietly. Those eyes followed her subtle movement as she breathes, up and down, up and down. How would she react if the owner of those eyes will suddenly whisper to her how she’s of a beauty right now?

Those who tried to take what’s not for them to take will be punished. What could be the worst punishment there is? Of course, it’s for the judge to decide.

And no one else has the right to say what’s fair and what’s not.