Sunshine

XXVII

“I know who you killed.”

Carlos woke up from his sleep. His bed is still the old rotting one made of bamboo but it somehow felt different at the moment. Despite the bed’s condition Carlos still feel more comfortable on his own bed. But it felt weird today.

“I know who you killed.”

Now he is sure he heard something. Carlos sat on his bed and looked around. That’s when he only realized he was not in his own house. But the bed was his own. What is this place? He wondered to himself and went out of the blankets.

“I know who you killed.”

“You know who I killed?”

Carlos could finally hear the words said. He continued looking around but there was nothing to see but only his bed.

“Show yourself. Who are you?”

“I know who you killed.”

“I didn’t kill anyone!” Carlos took quick steps forward. He tried to go follow the voice but it was only darkness upfront. He got lost as he ran farther on the darkness.

“Show yourself. Who are you I said!”

Carlos stopped running and took a look around. His bed, the only familiar thing to him on this vast darkness became smaller as he ran far. He stared at it. Strangely, something has been telling him to keep his eye on it.

And that was it. Carlos tried to run back and stop it from happening.

But his bed is already gone when he came back.

“Carlos…”

“I didn’t kill anyone!”

Carlos abruptly stood up, shouting those words. He is as shocked as everyone in the meeting room. He met eyes with Captain Rivera in front of him, eyeing him weirdly.

“Did you had a bad dream? What is it?” He heard Marie talk on his left side. That made him quickly face the direction. That took Marie quite aback.

Carlos remained tongue tied even with the stares waiting for him to talk. Juan stood up and took Carlos with him, pulling him on both his shoulders.

“I’m sorry I’ll calm him first. He probably just had a nightmare.”

“HOW are you feeling? Are you fine now?”

Juan asked and took the last slurp of his soda before throwing the plastic with its straw on the nearest trash bin. Carlos only finished his own halfway. “Why are you not drinking that?”

“How did you know to do this? Does this happen frequently?”

“I sometimes hate our work. We get too suspicious we can’t lie to each other.”

“Is this something you have to lie about?”

Juan shook his head. “No, of course.” He snatched Carlos’ soda and drank everything in one go. Carlos didn’t react and only let him. “Just recently. When you get too tired and happen to doze off you always wake up shouting those same words. That you didn’t kill anyone.” Juan tossed off the now empty plastic bag. “The way you shout it and such, it really makes me think you actually killed someone.”

Juan laughed at his own joke. But Carlos’ confused face only got deeper. “Since when this happened? Can you still remember?”

“I don’t know. But I think…” Juan thought for a while. “After Kim died I guess?”

Carlos stood up and took few steps away from Juan. His actions confused his best friend.

“Why?”

“Juan,” Carlos took steps backwards again. That made Juan also stand up. He wanted to voice out his confusions with how Carlos is acting but held himself.

“I’m not sure. I’m not sure. I’m not really sure.”

Carlos took backward steps again, this time more quicker steps. Juan tried to come closer but was stopped when Carlos shouted “Stop!” to him. Juan also stopped his attempt after seeing Carlos’ face now pale-white.

“You think. You think I actually killed someone?”

“WHAT'S the occasion! I thought you will never call?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I won’t be jumping at the same fire you are burning at. Never.”

“What a great way to say my soul’s burning in hell already while still in flesh. That’s new!”

He turned around as he put his phone closer to his ear. Juan looked at Carlos sitting on the lone chair on the same sari-sari store they stayed at earlier. He remained talking in his low but heavy voice. “Did you do something to Carlos?”

“Is something happening to him?”

“Stop playing with me!” Juan turned his back again on Carlos’ direction and took few steps farther. “What happened when Paul Kim died? You did something to Carlos that day, right?”

“Are you sure you really want to know? Because if I were you I will rather stay in the dark.” The person on the other line immediately added its words with, “But then, the truth will leave you with no choice but to jump on the fire you’re saying earlier just to save your friend.”

Multiple thread of thoughts ran on Juan’s head and more just came every time he tries to shake those thoughts off. Thoughts that made him sad, mad, angry, and made him feel s**t―with what his friend that he already think of as his own brother would be needing the saving for?

Should he prepare himself for the worst?

“You didn’t made Carlos into a killer, right?” His own words made him choke. “You didn’t, right?”